Thursday, October 27, 2011

Another Kardashian Wedding


Everyday Kris Jenner wakes up and realizes that the minutes on the life of the Kardashian family are clicking louder and louder and that time is almost up. This is of course what all of us look forward to everyday and the first thing I say after saying, "Dear Baby Jesus."


Kris Jenner though wants this to go on forever. Think about what she did before all of this started. Nothing. She sat around and listened to Bruce Jenner ramble on about helicopters and Wheaties boxes and now she is traveling all over the world and is seen everywhere, all because her daughter was willing to film sex tape. That it is the most boring sex tape ever does not matter.

Anyway, with Kim and Kris Humphries going to split up sooner than later and Kendall and Kyle not yet old enough to make their own sex tapes, Kris is running out of options. Lucky for her, Scott Disick was spotted buying an engagement ring. Presumably it is for Kourtney. Presumably she will say yes. Presumably she and Scott will get their own season on E! as they prepare for a wedding. Presumably I will not see a second of any of this and if I do, it will be because I am stuck in a hospital bed unable to move or utter a sound and will be begging for the sweet relief of prescription medicine.

27 comments:

Rita said...

I really, really hope, once again, their bathroom brand will include TP, to wipe my ass on their faces every morning.

So tired of E! shoving these people down our throats. WHO IS WATCHING THIS SHIT!

Ida Blankenship said...

Again: IF YOU DESPISE THEM SO GODDAMNED MUCH, WHY DO YOU BITCH ABOUT THEM EVERY SINGLE DAAAAAAAAAAY??!?!?

Just. Ignore. Them. Gawd.

Whatever, Enty. Hospital bed or not, you'll still watch every episode, if only to pontificate about what Scott and Kourtney did to bug you. ;-)

lolaluvs2snack said...

I've been wondering that for awhile(who watches this family)...How did this family make $60 million last year???? I don't get it, I refuse to watch anything they are on or even appearing on.

Tyler Perry is banned for life now!!!Hell, no I won't go!!!!

Rita said...

lovluv - they made $60M like that chick from DH made $106M with her "natural" drink!

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Out of the whole Kardashian Klan, I hate Scott the most, and by proxy, Kourtney.

parissucksliterally said...

OMG!OMG! I AM SO EXCITED!! i AM SO HAPPY HE IS FINALLY GOING TO MARRY HER! G-D BLESS THE FABULOUS KARDAHSIANS!!!!

*barfs*

Susan said...

You see, Enty, this is where I respectfully disagree. The Kardashians' 15 minutes aren't going to dry up any time soon. They keep getting bigger and bigger. As long as that evil genius Ryan Seacrest has his hands all over these productions, they're going to be around for a few more years. The only way I can see them faltering is if they act completely vile - like Paris Hilton, but the Kardashians don't seem to do that. They're vapid and spoiled but whoever is pulling the puppet strings is kind of smart. Argh....

Ida Blankenship said...

^^^Exactly.

I'm still convinced Kris Jenner pays Enty to post about these broads.

Rita said...

@Susan... NOoooooo, but you are absolutely right. Whomever masterminded their "career" is bloody brilliant. Paris is kicking herself right now for not beating them at her own game.

ChasingHeaven said...

Lucky for her he was spotted? Try, made certain by her he was spotted.

Cheryl said...

Lol @ evil genius Ryan Seacrest. I picture him like Mr. Burns tenting his fingers and saying "excellent!"

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I've never watched these shows and I know nothing about Scott Disick, but I crack up laughing every time I see him. Visually he is the perfect cartoon archetype of the rich, snobby, aristocratic son-of-a-bitch that everyone who is not him hates. My apologies if he is an okay person. He sure don't look it, baby!

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@brendalove

He isn't. He is EXACTLY how you think of thim, and more!

I mean, he shoved money down a waiters mouth, ffs. Does it get any worse than that?

M said...

Scott Disick reminds me of Christian Bale's character in American Psycho. In every photo I see of him, he looks like he's he's going to go whacko in any minute on whomever's around. I don't think I've ever seen his teeth (as in, him smiling). Maybe he's just one of those cardboard cutouts that she takes with her everywhere...

Rita said...

@M!!! I was about to say the same thing! American Psycho was on tv the other day, and I thought wow, Scott Disick is an exact replica, and maybe he's on the verge too.

Princess said...

1. Don't you remember at the end of Kim's wedding someone caught the E! producers still mic'ed and they said "that's a wrap guys, see you at Kourtney's wedding". In other words - YAWN.....
2. I think every single time Kim's sex tape is mentioned, it needs to be specified "Kim was pissed on". Sex tape no one blinks an eye at anymore. It needs to be pointed out how disgusting she really is. "Kim was willing to be pissed on, on tape".
That's better.

__-__=__ said...

I never thought Kardashians were probably keeping Enty in Bacon. They probably have entire cases shipped right to his basement daily. I am deeply ashamed for reading here.

Maja. With a J. said...

Princess, I don't think the pee thing was actually true. I haven't seen the whole thing so I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Kim Kardashian Golden Shower is an urban legend.

Unknown said...

Thank you for making me laugh so hard this morning!! I feel the same way Enty.

RocketQueen said...

No, the piss thing was true, I saw a clip or a still way back. It was removed from the Vivid video before being put up for sale, though.

Oh good. A new forced storyline involving marriage for this famewore family. Gawd, who even cares anymore?

parissucksliterally said...

Urban legend or not, everyone still needs to bring it up. Humiliate that plastic liarmouth.

califblondy said...

I don't watch their shows either, but those close to me do. Where did I go wrong?

I agree with the post about them not going away soon. There are enough of them to spread throughout reality TV, network TV, B movies, clothing lines, and toilet paper.

Anna Geletka said...

Oh my god, I came in to say the exact same thing about Scott Disick and American Psycho.

Freaky.

Mooshki said...

Ida, you've seen my facebook avatars, right? Some of us can't help but be fascinated by things that disgust us, LOL!

Mooshki said...

p.s. Speaking of facebook, we still hope you come back to us when you're ready! ♥

Danielle said...

Her mom was pressuring her a few months ago to get married and she said she doesn't want to. I really don't see her doing the whole "wedding for publicity/ money thing" like Kim did. I doubt she puts too much faith or trust into that ass hat of a boyfriend anyway.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Is he holding a cake pop? If so...why?

I loved the soundbite from KUWTK the other day of Kris H. telling Kim K. that in a few years when they were settled down and had kids no one would probably care about her anymore.