Thursday, October 20, 2011

Marie Claire Has Love Fest For Working Mom Katie Holmes


I don't know why I do it. I don't know why I ever read any interview with any subject in a monthly magazine. Articles are fine, but interviews are just awful. Because the magazine only comes out once a month, it means they really need to kiss ass in a way that has never been seen to make sure they get the biggest stars they can to sell as many issues as they can for that one chance per month. As a result, you get lines like this in the latest issue of Marie Claire.

"It is true that Katie has a more innocent outlook than I do, more innocent than most in this excessively hip local spot. She seems truly unaware, for example, that even while we have been sitting here, she has single-handedly stolen the heart of everyone in the restaurant."

I will at least give credit for coming up with a new way to kiss ass. Stolen the heart of everyone? Excessively hip local spot? Do these people have editors?

Think that is bad? Wait until you read this next one.

"She stands and crosses the room to get a bottle of ketchup, and even the hungriest customer stops to stare. In jeans, high-heeled black leather ankle boots, and a khaki button-down, a tiny ripple of diamonds around her neck, she looks the quintessential movie star. Her dancer's figure and Empire State Building legs literally stop traffic — just ask the hordes of photographers who follow her every move.
She returns with the ketchup and settles into the booth. Part Bambi, part Ali MacGraw, Katie and her massive doe eyes, rosebud cheeks, and darling smile have everyone in the restaurant down for the count."

I honestly expected the next line to be that when she stretched, she accidentally parted the Red Sea.

The interview is written by the director of The Romantics and she is clearly trying to get Katie to do something else. In the online version you are stuck with that sugary sweet stuff from above, but I have seen the rest of it and it does not get any better. Oh, the best part is when Katie goes on and on about how she is a working mom and it is so hard to juggle a career with being a mom and it made me sick. It really did. Yes, she works. Yes, she is a mom. Now tell me how with a million nannies, bodyguards, hotel staff, tutors, private jets, helicopters, drivers and so many other things that you are stressed out as a working mom. You don't even work that much. This kind of thing makes me so ticked off. When you think about all the single parents out there in the world or couples who have multiple jobs to make ends meet and juggle raising children and then Katie says what she did.

25 comments:

MontanaMarriott said...

Sweetie, dust off your knees, pick yourself up and wipe your mouth, that was the biggest ass kissing I have read in a minute, lol

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I dunno. It's all relative, isn't it? Yeah, she's got all that extra junk to raise Suri with, but we have our privacy. Personally, I'd take privacy and a "normal" life than what she (and the rest of her ilk) have, which seems to be a nightmare. I know I wouldn't like someone jamming a camera in my face when I'm grumpy in the morning, or speculating whether or not I am pregnant because I ate too much.

Anonymous said...

Umm, dancer's figure? I beg to differ.

Patty said...

Katie is an idiot. The only reason this dipshit gets any coverage is because she signed a contract to be Mrs Tom Cruise. Dancer? Please. The people in the restaurant were probably snickering behind her back and were staring because it is the first time they saw a brainwashed zombie.

The Black Cat said...

Patty you are right, no-one would give 2 craps about Katie Holmes if she didn't marry that wacko.
She can't dance either, anyone remember that dance show she was on where so bombed oh so bad?

ItsJustMe said...

barf

bluebonnetmom said...

There are MUCH PRETTIER women in the world than this brain washed Hollyweird contract wife. Unless she has been a single working Mother of two with no help, I don't want to hear a word about how tough her life is. Complete BS.

parissucksliterally said...

"Empire State Building legs"?

she has the worst legs in Hollywood besides Micha Barton!

They DO look like Buildings though I thing MC meant it as a compliment.

chopchop said...

Gag me with a spoon.

People were staring because her & her husband are a freak show. And she'd still be mousy old Joey Potter if Tom Cruise & his team of contract lawyers hadn't gotten to her.

Ellen said...

Oh crap, not the side-mouth-smirk again. She wishes she had one tenth of the talent that the former Dawson's Creeker Michelle Williams has. Also, what's with the Glamour Shots popped-collar pose?

MISCH said...

Dancer, Designer, Actress, the multi talented Mrs Cruise.....I swear I'm going to vomit.

timebob said...

I wouldn't be too surpised if the writer is also a scientologist.

RenoBlondee said...

Patty and Parissucks
I giggled out loud when I read your comments.
Dipshit. *giggle*

And yes, The Black Cat!
It was one of my faves, So You Think You Can Dance and she sucked HARD when she tried to "dance". Lord, it was embarassing.

RocketQueen said...

That is some TERRIBLE writing.

And the writer does realize she's not the only working mother, right?

califblondy said...

I thought her number on SYTYCD was pretty good. Not great, but hey, she put herself out there and I give her props for that.

OMG, I choked when I read the comment about her legs. Sure, she's tall and thin, but she has terrible legs.

I thought the picture looked too much like an old Glamour shot pose, especially the hand.

JoElla said...

I am so thankful that my 2 year subscription is almost out. I am also so thankful that I got it dirt cheap..

MC used to actually be a good magazine.

"darling smile".. so that is what we are calling a smirk now?!

mooshki said...

Wow, I had never looked at her legs before, but you guys are right - they look like Gumby legs!

Sis said...

Lol...Gumby legs...lol

MnGddess said...

THANK YOU Ellen. Everytime I see that smirk I want to smack it off her face.

Stacey Charter said...

"This kind of thing makes me so ticked off. When you think about all the single parents out there in the world or couples who have multiple jobs to make ends meet and juggle raising children and then Katie says what she did." - and this is just one of the reasons I love you enty and have been here all these years. And that's not ass kissing LOL. She will always be Joey or Tom's wife.

Mango said...

That pic looks like a Glamor Shots photo. Remember those? The females in the photos were all instructed to grab onto one of their collars for some unfathomable reason.

Bit dams said...

in what kind of restaurant do you get up to get your own ketchup; in-n-out??? seriously, even denny's brings YOU the ketchup.

elspeth said...

Ditto everything said above. After i barfed, i recalled an interview w/Nicole Kidman in her single period between Cruise and Urban in which she bemoaned how hard it was for a working, single mother of two to find someone to date. Meanwhile, the rest of us plod along in the same mud [right!] with these poor deluded women.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I dunno, this interview made me laugh pretty hard. All these magazine always kiss celeb ass but this one def. takes the cake. What's up. With all. The deer references.

Also, anyone who ends up in a contractual marriage? Is not that innocent, IMO.

KittensRUs said...

Photoshop much? Katie is slender but not THAT slender. She has no upper body at all in that picture.

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