Friday, December 02, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Poor, poor Smokey Shooter. First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits, oh, no!

They were such a cute couple. But you'll either be really sad or really happy to hear Smokey's wasted no time in moving on from his ex lady-love. Only problem being his new love interests all seem to have the same two complaints about the good-lookin' actor with a fair amount of movie cred:

Actually, make that one and a half complaints, because some gals aren't so bothered by one of this dude's, uh, problems, as it were. Namely, that he's just too big. And we're not talkin' just the guy's ego, honeys.

Add to that sometime painful attribute the fact that Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women.

Result? Some gals pretend not to notice. Others scold Smokey with mock disbelief. Few are so upset they don't give Smokey another go. In fact, make that all.

Which is probably why Smokey's never seemed to really care about giving his women warning, once he finds himself on the verge of breaking wind.

OK, I understand why a lotta gals put up with crap like not lifting the toilet seat, but, why more babes don't give this babe grief for acting like he's in a Jim Carrey movie is beyond me.

Does size really matter that much?

And It Ain't: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio

38 comments:

Rita said...

Thought of McCauley Culkin. He is tiny, but maybe packin'.

And really dude breaking wind in bed???

You KNOW the honeymoon phase is over when your bf farts underneath the covers!!!

Bnl1016 said...

this is one of the few names there's no "popular" guess for. for awhile people were guessing Ashton/Demi but then it was apparent they were named something else and we all know Ted never gives people more than one name.

Then people thought Mariah/Nick or Eva/Tony. Here's the old one:

One Not Knocked Up Blind Vice

Hot couples earnestly trying to procreate in Hollywood usually get such great, fawning press, just as Marcia Cross and her man, or Josh Holloway and his gal, if you don't believe. But, what about when it all goes...wrong?

That's the certainly less celebrated coverage you hear about, and for good reason: Smokey Shooter and Mimi Kitten are one smokin' celeb couple—literally. And even though the multitalented lovebirds have a bunch of differences between them (namely, their ages), there's one thing they can settle on: They want a kid. Badly.

But there are two problemos in this offspring sitch:

First up, Mimi's had some issues with her ovaries—they ain't working. So M.K. and Smokey hightailed over to their friendly neighborhood fertility clinic to work it all out with a bit of help from their doc.

A baby would be a better possibility if it wasn't for the second dilemma—Smokey's dabbling in drugs has gone from a weekend hobby to a nearly full-time day gig, and it's messing with the dude's sperm. Too bad, 'cause a baby between these two could give Suri and Shiloh a run for their parents' money.

Get clean, you dopehead! Your woman's got enough probs as it is!

And It Ain't: Calista Flockhart & Harrison Ford, Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer, Katie Lee Joel & Billy Joel

Bnl1016 said...

I also meant to add Mariah/Nick and Eva/Tony were eliminated by Ted as were Josh Brolin & Diane Lane.

Kari said...

How rude!!

MISCH said...

Ashton was not eliminated...and it does sound like him.
And lets be honest if a guy isn't skillful too big can be just plain painful.

Rita said...

Oh yeah, the ocean motion rather than a boat-sized cruise line.

happygrl said...

What about Sandra B and Jesse James?

Bnl1016 said...

Ashton was not eliminted but he's the top guess for Pussy Gabor.

Also, the first blind says this couple is multi-talented. Demi and Ashton are just actors, no? That's the part that got me. I feel like this particular couple must have some music or sports or something thrown in somewhere.

pomme said...

Ryan Gosling(he acts and sings)(when he was with Sandra Bullock)?
Jesse James and Bullock 's guess seem nice

jbdean_79 said...
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jbdean_79 said...
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Rita said...

Poor Smokey Shooter? he and his gal couldn't work it? But you'll either be really sad or really happy that Smokey moved on?

This to me does not apply to Vanilla Douchebag. Too sympathetic to say the least. And I know Ted has not been sympathetic AT ALL to that tattoed dumbass.

RocketQueen said...

Sounds like a dead ringer for Kutcher if you ask me. "Shooter" refers to his stupid camera commercials and of course "one and a half complaints".

bubbles said...

@ Bnl -- thanks for posting the previous blind :)

Okay, so here's what we know:

1. He's older -- in the previous blind Ted refers to a big age gap between Smokey and Mimi, and 2 of the "nots" in that blind are older guys, as is one of the "nots" in the current blind (Hef). That makes me think the guy is older. Not necessarily in his 60s, but definitely at least in his mid-late 30s.

2. He's good-looking.

3. He's been successful in movies ("an actor with a fair amount of movie cred").

4. He's no stranger to drugs (although whether that's public knowledge or not I don't know).

So what older, good-looking movie actor with a drug problem has recently split up with someone?

Colin Farrell?

Vicky said...

Ashton- the "one and a half complaints" solidified it. And the guy has always looked like someone who enjoys a good dutch oven before bed.

michael said...

I know it says actor and movie cred but this sounds like Kris Humpries aka Mr Kim Kardashian. Same rumors were going around about him

shiny_special_one said...

I'm on the Ashton & Demi train.

PunkinElf said...

Colin hasn't had a steady girl since his 2 year old was born. Also, wouldn't Enty have said Foreign Born>

Momster said...

Rita said, "You KNOW the honeymoon phase is over when your bf farts underneath the covers!!!"

. . .yeah, and holds your head under while he's at it!

(I lovingly say about my hubby,
today is our 22nd anniversary, lol)

Rita said...

Momster, your hubby is a DESPICABLE beast.

But happy anniversary and congrats!

Maja. With a J. said...

"What's a dutch oven?" I asked.

Interplanet Janet said...

Um, what about Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy? I know that would be a pretty bold move on Ted's part but I wouldn't put it past him. The Smokey/Mimi blind is older which could have fit and Jennny does have a lot on her plate with an autistic child....

AKM said...

But what about the comment at the end about a Jim Carrey movie? Would Ted say that if it is in fact Jim Carrey? ???

Vicky said...

Maja.- Dutch Oven (slang)- the act of pulling the covers over ones head after releasing hot and often vile gas.

Angela said...

George Clooney?

Finine said...

The only problem I have with the Ashton guess....Brittany Murphy outed him years back about being small.

http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/8-13-2003-44176.asp

Maja. With a J. said...

Yes Vicki, I know that now...*L* I asked. He showed me. This was within our first week of dating...and it's pretty much gone downhill from there *LOL*.

ChasingHeaven said...

I agree, I definitely think this is Jim Carey & Jenny McCarthy. Multi-talented, the Hef connection, etc., etc.

Mister Makeup Artist said...

Don't forget Jim's character in The Mask's favorite catch phrase: "Smokinnnn"

Grace said...

It's Ashton.
Big clue : "One and a half complaints. Ashton just took over Two and a Half Men.

chopchop said...

But Jenny McCarthy doesn't have an autistic child. She cured him, remember??

DramaMama said...

Finine, the way the Brittany Murphy phrased her comment about Ashton, she could have been referring to "too big" as well as "too small." She said that Demi "must not have a problem with size." The audience may have understood "small," but she may have intended "big."

BTW, I think this is Ashton and Demi too.

beth said...

It's clearly Ashton. They were photographed a few years ago coming out of a repro docs office... and everything else fits perfectly. Between the 1 1/2 complaints, the timing of their split, etc... this is barely a blind. (Also, some of Demi's willingness to forgive his wandering in the past may have been that she knows he's an addict and the real need is for him to get clean.)

trollslayer said...

"Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women."

A FART fetish? THAT'S a new one.

Hell, at least it's not crushing! Seems like a lame idea for dumping someone.

What? Like you all have never, ever tooted while in bed with a lover. :-P

trollslayer said...

Oh, and based on the And it Aint's, I also don't think this is Ashton. Those men have never been outed as public philanderers, for one thing. Maybe Bradley Cooper? Does he have a blind yet?

EmEyeKay said...

Ashton already has a moniker from Ted, he's Pussy Gabor. Or at least he's the number one guess for Pussy.

Caroline Little said...

Dude makes me think of Dude Where's My Car = Ashton again...

UNOG News said...

Ashton has the thing that big?