Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
This former C list actor who had one big part in a movie and has tried to keep his fame going without much success has his head so far up his own butt it is unbelievable. This actor, wears a t-shirt from his movie so people knows who he is. Second, he has an assistant. Why? "I'm famous. I can't go out. People will mob me." Then why do you have to wear the damn t-shirt so people even know who you are.
In case you're all feeling sorry for poor Marky Sweet-Puss—the talented, put-upon husband to the notoriously demanding and overly controlling Cruella St. Shackles—well, don't stop. He needs all the help (and prayers) he can get.
But just wanted to let you all know that Marky's hardly the only man in Cruella's labyrinth-filled past of scheming personal vendettas and bossed-around men.
In fact, she's still getting paid off by...
Another magnificently rich (and just as ambitious) Blind Vice Superstar! Someone, say, somewhere between the ages of 33 and 49 and a half? Pretty good-looking dude, too. But, they had an awfully rough break-up.
So much so, Cruella, who's always looking to get a leg up—just as much as an extra buck or two—signed a deal with this handsome movie star for him to pay her for life. What for, you ask?
To not reveal any of this chiseled guy's deep secrets, which friends say, at this point, he's convinced even himself he doesn't have any more! The man is in such colossal denial, Toothy Tile would be impressed, we're certain!
And Cruella was counting on this stupid lack of introspection when she made her departure deal, once she and her ex broke up. She knew this would be a good little trust fund, if she just always kept her trap shut, which she always has. Consequently, Cruella, to this day, receives very nice checks with lotso zeroes. Every friggin' month.
Jeez. Must be nice. Get all the money you can from the last cuckolded dude while you're still taking it from the current one! Of course, Cruella knows it's a dirty two-way street, and that last lover of hers could also make life very uncomfortable for her. This is actually a stronger possibility than vice versa, but, don't think St. Shackles last man (who's actually damn lucky to be outta her life, and he knows it) has the gumption to pull it off right now, maybe later (let's hope).
Still, this woman Cruella should get an Oscar for the private performances she pulls.
Or, at least a mention in Forbes richest Hollywood heathens.
It Ain't: Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johansson
In the aftermath of the tsunami in Japan, lots of celebrities are tweeting their thoughts and prayers. With all of the celebrity Tweets to choose from, who did Kneepads choose to highlight? Lea Michele, Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan.
First of all lets start with Lindsay. Yes, I know I just wrote about her earlier, but look at this Tweet.
"My mommy just woke my sister and i [sic] up to this!" she said. "god [sic] bless those that are in fear."
First of all this happened like 10pm Pacific Time. The only way Lindsay and Ali Lohan were sleeping at that hour was if they were passed out or had not got up from the night before. Plus, why in the f**k are you calling her mommy? Are you 10 years old? In my mind I think the Tweet should have been like this.
"Dina the witch went to the bathroom so Ali and I decided to take her share of the coke. She came back in and said there had been a tsunami in Japan. Looting!!"
At least Paris and Lea said normal things. My question to Kneepads is why did you choose these particular people to highlight Tweeting for such a tragic event?
US Weekly is reporting on the weekend that Scarlett J and Sean Penn spent together last week in Mexico. Apparently the entire weekend was just about sex, chain smoking and boozing. Yeah, nothing like that morning pack of cigarettes followed by booze breath and sex. The only time the staff at the resort in Mexico was when the couple would emerge to eat and drink at the restaurant and sometimes they would go outside to smoke. I am betting that place needed to be fumigated by the time they were finished. You can tell this is a new thing because they did not even go to the beach, it was just about getting the most out of their hotel room bed. All I can say is I hope they left the maid a really big tip. Who thinks Sean Penn even showered during the weekend? What does anyone see in that guy?
Have you seen those fan issues of tabloids? The ones that come to mind are the special issues that were devoted to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber. I think at some point, the tabloids should seriously consider having a tabloid devoted to nothing but Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan stories. Oh, and one where every Brangelina/Jennifer Aniston thing could be combined into one magazine. That way the rest of the tabloids could feature more salacious stories of people we don't get to hear as much about because the abovementioned people dominate our tabloids.
Anyway, Lindsay ran a stop sign and got pulled over by the police. In the grand scheme of things, not that important, but it also shows she doesn't give a crap about anything and obviously believes she is above the law at all times. TMZ reportedly has some scoop about Lindsay's probation report and it is not pretty. They called it devastating. Like one year in jail devastating. To me that means she has been one bad girl since she got out of rehab and while she was in rehab and that does not even include the felony grand theft charge which is another big hurdle she is facing. This is why she just needs to go to jail for the three months. Plead guilty, get everything over with and continue on with your life. If she does not go to jail, then probation would likely be extended forever and I don't think Lindsay can manage to be good that long.
The National Enquirer has a report in their new issue that in his biography, Jesse James will be spilling some details about Sandra Bullock that she might not want revealed. Yes, the article says that Jesse will be talking about Sandra being a lesbian. This is interesting the way they have done it. The Enquirer is not saying Sandra is a lesbian, they are saying that someone is saying that Jesse will be talking about Sandra being a lesbian. Hmmm. I wonder if there are any blind items about such a thing.
I guess Tony Danza just could not find the right silver gift to give his wife for their 25th anniversary. Instead of really looking for that perfect gift, the couple just decided to call it quits instead. Much easier than trying to find the perfect gift. I mean 25 years is a long time. That is a whole lot of pressure. Tony is the one who filed for divorce. Considering they were separated for some time I am guessing he has found someone else and wants to make her public which is always tricky when you are married.
Posted by ent lawyer at 9:50 AM
Did anyone really think that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were still "dating?" You know what, I am sure there is some message board or some groups devoted to loving them together. For those four of you who belong to said board, I am sorry for your loss. To the rest of us who live in the real world, this has always seemed stupid and never seemed real. For some reason the couple decided to issue a joint statement announcing their breakup. I guess that means someone is actually with someone or someone wants to share a secret or just because it has been a slow week and they thought they could grab next week tabloid's covers.
You know, you would think that with Charlie Sheen doing more drugs than any human ever that police would have maybe done some investigating and noticed the 24 hour shuttles between the dealers and Charlie's place and done some kind of raid. But, nope, apparently he can do what he wants. However, last night, police did raid Charlie's house. Not as sinister as it sounds. First, they called his attorney and said they would be going over and what time they would be going over and asked if they could bring anything over. Hell, Charlie even had time to buy out a donut store for the arrival. Police came because they were looking for weapons Charlie has which would violate his new restraining order. They probably wanted drugs too, but I think the advance notice kind of ruined that idea.
This famous celebrity mom is a slave to her child. The daughter calls all the shots, makes diva demands, and swears and yells at her mom. At a recent play-date, a source says that as the mom was showed up to pick up her daughter and the little girl threw a fit on the front porch and yelled, “I hate my f***ing mom! I hate my f***ing mom! I don’t want to go home with you! I wanted dad to pick me up.” And then the mother said, “I know sweetie, I know. I’m so sorry sweetie! I’ll drive you home and you can see dad.” The little girl said she’d go only if her mom bought her ice cream, to which the mom agreed while the other kids looked on.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Here I was watching Outsourced, and the next thing I know there is a break to talk about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Have you ever seen video like this before? A 13 foot wave that just goes on and on. Just watching it cross the fields. Can you imagine if there were buildings in the way? I know there are lots of readers in Japan and I am thinking of you and hope you are staying safe.
Posted by ent lawyer at 11:02 PM
This is just a great story. Earlier this week, two women were having lunch at a place in Toronto when they noticed that a man had sat down. This man, who used to be A+ list back in the day and is still loved by enough people that he is a B list singer and reality star saw them looking at him. They waved and he waved back. This is like their biggest star crush. That would usually be it, but our celebrity, got up from his table, walked over to the two women, sits down and starts chatting with them. He stays and talks to them about his career and answers all of their questions. Then, one of the women asks if she can take his photo and a waiter rushes over and says there is a no photo policy, but our celebrity will have none of that and says of course. He then takes a picture, chats some more and even asks to use one of the stories about him that one of the women shared which he is going to use in his shows. After he left, the restaurant manager came by and said that most celebrities are a-holes but this guy was the greatest and the biggest tipper in a place that gets its share of A list movie stars.
This B- list actor who deserves to be a D, but for some reason keeps getting roles is married. Good looking guy. Definitely a ladies man and will cheat on his wife in a second. Cheated on her before they got married and has not slowed down. She will not leave him though because she wants fame so bad she will do anything. Wow, this was not actually about his cheating, but about how when he was hitting on guys the other night, he said, he always likes guys when there is not a woman around.
Congratulations to 30 Rock for filming their 100th episode.
And yesterday, filming in New York.
If you put Agyness Dean in front of me I don't think I could pick her out.
Most people just use weights, not live dogs when they jog.
Rumer is just going with one.
Amy Adams and her boyfriend/fiancee' hang out with their kid.
Brooklyn Beckham races his dad.
Brad Pitt shooting his new role in New Orleans.
Carmen Electra looking normal. Good for her.
Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell in London tonight.
Elizabeth Hurley wants you to know she loves kids. Please like her again.
Hello Gillian Anderson.
A very shaggy looking Gerard Butler.
Good Charlotte visiting kids in a Boston hospital.
Heidi Klum looks amazing.
This is Hayden Panettiere's mother and brother. Is anyone else feeling uncomfortable?
If you try Jennifer Aniston's new perfume, do not confuse it with Smart Water and drink it.
This crowd is in front of this Liverpool hotel to see
Justin Bieber making Taylor Swift hand gestures.
The Situation judges Jeffrey Ross' abs.
Kirstie Alley is selling something so Kelly Preston showed up and
was really excited.
I loved when Bethenny Frankel was on Andy Cohen's show the other night and said how Kelly Bensimon was the person she missed the least. I liked Bethenny on that show. She was good.
Katie Holmes and her bodyguard.
Kendra's baby points out the cameras.
Three parts today.
"Ali, come on, move up here. I want people to see you in the photos of your sister's perp walk. I took you out of school for this, so look good. Oh, wait, you don't go to school. Never mind."
Lorenzo Lamas was stalked by a pap? Really?
This I understand. Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts riding bikes.
Yes, yes, I got your e-mails. Here is Michael Fassbender. Fantasize away.
Mario Lopez and Pee Wee learn to dance.
Mia Wasikowska and the director of her new movie, Jane Eyre.
Nia Vardalos and Eugene Levy discuss poutine.
So, wouldn't you just love to see a video of Donald Trump and Snoop sharing a joint?
Apparently Vanessa Hudgens and Brittany Snow agree.
So, iTunes finally approved the podcast so you should be able to get all forthcoming podcasts direct from iTunes. This is the link, but not sure when it will go active.
Carli and I want to make sure that you are able to really interact during the show so I am doing the preview two days ahead of time so you can ask questions. The best way is either on my Facebook, Carli's Twitter which is here or the Facebook fan page set up by a very loyal fan which you can access here.
I will provide the links to the radio site tomorrow so it is on the top of the page, but wanted to tell you what is on tap for Saturday.I have to say that I am pretty damn excited to be talking to Ms. Joan Jett on Saturday. I don't think you can find enough superlatives when discussing her or her career, but legend and hot and bad ass would be some of them.After sleeping right through the interview last week, Donal Logue sent me an expletive laden text apology which was priceless. He will be on the show this week coming straight from an airshow in what he considers his hometown.
Also, there will be the blind voice for you to guess and I will have more clues about her identity tomorrow.
Plus, I am working on a very special guest which I hope I can confirm by tomorrow to let all of you in on it. Plus, Carli & I are going to crank call some celebrities to see what their reaction is.
Saturday 6am to 8am Pacific Time.
I think it is time for a discussion. I saw that Ashlee Simpson has some new guy that she went shopping with and everyone is calling it her new guy. Apparently there was some kissing going on. Kneepads says the relationship is just the guy comforting her because they have known each other awhile. Here is my thing. How many guys do you know that would voluntarily go shopping with someone just to be there for comfort? Ashlee might think this is all about helping her through the breakup, but this guy is probably either trying to get some free publicity or trying to get a whole different definition of comfort. Probably both. Also, if Ashlee does like this guy, why would she date another guy in a band who is always going to be gone? Wasn't the whole excuse for getting a divorce that she was tired of Pete gone all the time? This guy is in a much smaller band and will be on the road waaaaaay more than Pete was or is.
What do you think? Is there such a thing as just comforting with no ulterior motive?
I know there is a very long list of idiots in this world, but I think I have found a contender for biggest idiot. Let me know hat you think. Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic is a Julia Roberts fan. For the sake of argument, let us not go into why this is a bad decision. I mean everyone has their favorite and for some reason only known to Miljenko he has decided that Julia Roberts is his pick for favorite. Well, most of us would admire the parson from afar. Perhaps we would see all their movies or buy them if we really wanted to contribute, but this guy has gone one step further. He got a tattoo. Well, not just one tattoo. See, one could be forgiven, kind of like you had a really bad vodka bender and you thought it would be a great idea to show your love for Erin Brockovich by getting a tattoo. Well, Miljenko has 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts. Yep. 82.
Felicia "Snoop" Pearson was an actress on the hit show The Wire. I really miss that show. I need to go back and watch them all again. Anyway, on the show she played someone who had the same name which I always find easier to remember and also saves a fan the embarrassing problem of trying to remember someone's real name when they run into an actor or actress somewhere. "Hey, umm, Urkel. What? That isn't your real name?" Anyway, Snoop, who has had many run ins with the law in the past including a conviction of second degree murder when she was 14, was arrested with 60 other people in a massive drug raid. Police would not say what the actress was charged with, but I am guessing since it was a drug raid and conducted by DEA agents that she will probably be facing drug charges. I know, I know, I am quite the soothsayer. I have always wanted to use that word in a sentence.
Posted by ent lawyer at 11:06 AM
Kirstie Alley is taking her national platform with Dancing With The Stars and turning it into her personal buy my weight loss program thing and now she is also making it all about Scientology. Pop Eater is reporting that Kirstie thinks she can win because of Scientology. Umm, yeah, so if she loses does that mean she will give it all up? I know she credits the religion with saving her life, but I think any kind of formalized structure would have probably done the same thing. What has it done for her lately? It has not helped her lose weight or succeed with her career. It did not get her that Oprah talk show. It has not made her a more charming person.
Apparently she is also trying to convert her partner Maksim. Yeah, so that must get annoying. Tango and then e-meter. Cha Cha Cha and then an auditing session. Maksim must be having the time of his life. Yeah, I threw in a Dirty Dancing song reference there. Hey, it is a dancing show. I think Maksim will probably just take a pass on the whole Scientology thing.
The cast of Parks And Recreation was doing some promotion for their show over at Paley Fest. Oh, before I forget, on Saturday they did the True Blood promo for the same event. Well, after the radio show, I was out and drove by the place at like 10am. Lines of people and the show did not start for hours and hours. Those True Blood fans are a loyal bunch.
Anyway, even though it was an event for Parks & Recreation, Charlie Sheen's name came up. Not the fact that he is suing for $100M and to get paid, but whether or not Rob Lowe would be leaving Parks & Recreation to head over to Two And A Half Men. Not going to happen. It looks like Rob is sticking with Parks & Recreation. As a fan of the show, I then am asking myself what is he going to do? His time as whatever he is from the state has come to an end so maybe he will be a new City Manager or something? It also seems to me that maybe Rob would like to move into a bigger role and a bigger paycheck, but that is not going to happen. Maybe next year the show will be One And A Half Men with a crazy neighbor who streams himself live every night on the internet.