Friday, March 25, 2011

Your Turn

This is all about karaoke. Writing about Snoop and singing Gin And Juice made me think about the beloved drinking activity and made me wonder if you sing karaoke and if so, what is your go to song.

Kirstie Alley Rejects George Lopez's Apology - Slams His Cheating


Kirstie Alley is showing some spunk. Fresh off her recent great job on DWTS, George Lopez tweeted a joke which made fun of Kirstie's size. I am all for jokes about cults and Scientology and how she ignores what is staring at her right in the face, but making fun of people because they are overweight is wrong. After a joke about her size he cut to video of a pig squealing. Anyway, George apologized, but Kirstie was having none of it. In a reply Tweet she said, "@georgelopez I don't need or want ur apology...I want your kidney dude..on behalf of ur X and all the women uv insulted...give it back."

That sounds like a very good idea. I also think Twitter should raise the characters to a number higher than 140 because we are dumbing down language even more than it already was.

Will Ferrell - Raw Sexuality And The New Office Boss

So, next season it looks like Will Ferrell will be the boss at The Office. Quoting from the press release, the show runner, Paul Lieberstein, who also plays Toby says, "We are proud to continue The Office's tradition of discovering famous talent, and we hope that once America gets a good look at Will, they'll see what we see, tremendous raw sexuality."

With Will's movie career not doing so hot right now this seems like a pretty good time to have him move back over to television. It is not like he still can't do movies, and he gets to head into a hit show and make a huge paycheck and I think it is the right fit for the show. I sense there will be many opportunities for Will to strip down to a thong and show the word that raw sexuality.

Do you think Pearl will be his landlord?

That's Why They Card People


Snoop Dogg is promoting a new drink that is scheduled to go on sale next week. It is made by Pabst and is a fruit flavored drink. Oh, and it also has 12% alcohol. It is probably not something I will enjoy, but for testing purposes will probably have a bottle or two. You know, research. People are already complaining about the drink and are trying to get it banned because they think kids will confuse it with juice. Yeah, and tequila looks like water. Unless of course you go for the gold and then it looks like ginger ale or possibly urine and I don't see kids begging mom to have a glass of pee. Yes, I can understand why kids would go into the store and think it might be juice. So, they open up the door and bring it to the counter and then hopefully the underpaid minimum wage guy behind the counter knows it is booze and asks for i.d.

I don't see how this is any different from any other juice looking adult beverage. No one makes a big deal about any of those. I do wonder though if because Snoop is the one marketing it that people have a problem with that. I think critics should be spending their time talking about something else like how energy drinks can be bought by four year olds but no one says anything. Oh, or how they can buy junk food like pies and candy which will make them possibly obese like yours truly. Focus on those things and not something that has an age restriction. As for the argument that it is trying to get kids drinking at a younger age, there were none of these things available when I was a kid, but it did not stop me from underage drinking. Hell, I remember when there were no liquor ads on tv but it did not stop me from buying booze or at least trying to at every opportunity. What I think all these people should do is go and drink six or seven of these bottles, relax, go to a karaoke bar and sing Gin And Juice.

Angelina Jolie Wrestles Alligators


Last weekend, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt along with all 23 of their children and 45 potential adoptees they are eliminating American Idol style all headed out to Cajun Encounters. Contrary to what it sounds like, it is not where people re-enact Southern Comfort. If you think that is a drink, you are right, and a damn fine one, but it is also a movie which will keep you up for a few nights. Anyway, the brood went out there and watched the alligators. That is pretty much it to the story, so that is why I added the headline about wrestling the alligators. I think it would be pretty cool to see Angelina do that or have all their 45 potential adoptees thrown into the alligator pit and the last one in gets eliminated and sent back to their third world country. But, hey they are willing to throw in free medical care if an alligator took a bite somewhere they should not have.

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be Known As &%^%


From this time forward, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she is one of the biggest stars in the world. So, she is dropping the Lohan from her last name and going with Lindsay. Just Lindsay. Oh where do I begin? How about the pretentiousness to think she is as big of a star as Cher or Madonna or Beyonce? Last time I checked Meryl Streep and Glenn Close have a million Academy Awards between them but last I checked they still used two names. Now, if I had the parents Lindsay had, then I would seriously consider dropping my last name too. I mean, who really wants to be associated with Michael or Dina? The faster I could get away from that last name the better. I would think she has other options though. She could go by one of her prisoner numbers. That would certainly make her unique, although deciding between them all would probably prove to be a challenge. She could find a different last name. I like Lindsay Klepto. It has a nice ring to it and would give her an ethnicity factor she does not have right now. Plus, it rhymes with more stuff besides Blohan and it is not a bad stage name for when she starts stripping in a few years. She could go with the symbol thing like Prince did. The problem with that is Prince was always called the artist formerly known as Prince because no one could pronounce his symbol so he really kept his name anyway. Plus, if you did something like that with Lindsay it would have to be something like, The actress who once was in Mean Girls and has been living off that forever. A bit too lengthy for an intro or magazine cover.

Ted C Blind Item

Last week when we told you King Schlong had fooled around with another male celeb for a bit when he was younger, many of you were shocked. Our King is gay?

Just because he diddled a dude once or twice doesn't mean he's a homo, folks. As if! Sometimes fooling around with the same sex is a way to pass the time.

Just ask Cookie Muncher. This superstar has everything: a hunky husband, flawless bod, perfect face...and a taste for women.

No, she's not a lesbian. She just doesn't mind doing the girl-on-girl thing to turn her man—or partygoers—on. Babe knows how to a have a fun time, what can I say.

While at a raging Hollywood house party a while back, Ms. Muncher was dancing up a storm on the pool table.

She always has a way of making sure all eyes are on her (as if being one of the most beautiful women in the world had another affect on people).

So, Cookie Muncher decides to strip off all her clothes while dancing, to the giant applause from the crowd.

Another gal at the party thought that clearly looked like a fun idea. So she decided to take off her clothes and get up on the table with Cookie.

We'll let our stunned party source take it from here:

"Before you knew it, Cookie threw the other naked girl on the table and just started going down on her. For a while too! The crowd went crazy."

Now you know where "munch" comes from.

As for her husband, he looked on lovingly as ever, obviously.

If a guy were to give another guy a blowjob in the middle of a similar party, people would freak. Why is it so much more of a big deal for a dude to dabble than a girl?

And It Ain't: Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham

Barefoot Contessa Hates Child Cancer Patients


I don't know how Ina Garten will ever recover from this one. Make A Wish contacted the Food Network host because a dying 6 year old cancer patient wanted to cook a meal with the Barefoot Contessa. Well, apparently her schedule was just too busy and said no to the child. Wait, it gets worse. How much worse? The first request came three years ago. When the chef said no, instead of trying to get another wish, the boy said to Make A Wish that he would wait. Well, the foundation went back to the chef this year and she said no again. Apparently she is still too busy. How the f**k long does it take to make a meal with someone. I am sorry if you are not going to get paid or that your book tours or other commitments just take too long. How the f**k can you say no to a 6 year old kid who is dying of cancer? How? How? How? What evil planet are you from that you can't find an hour or two over the course of several years for a child dying of cancer?

So, now Enzo is going to swim with dolphins. What a horrible woman.

James Dean Molested By His Minister


A day after the legendary Elizabeth Taylor was laid to rest, an interview she previously gave off the record about James Dean has come to light. Elizabeth had said she wanted it off the record until she died. It also makes you wonder how much else is out there that will be revealed about the life of this woman. You just know that she knew everything and everyone. Elizabeth said that during the filming of Giant, she and James Dean would have long talks and during one of those talks, he confessed to Elizabeth that when he as younger he had been molested by his minister.

"I loved Jimmy. I'm going to tell you something, but it's off the record until I die. OK? When Jimmy was 11 and his mother passed away, he began to be molested by his minister."

Elizabeth went on to say that it affected James Dean at that point in his life and all throughout his life. I wonder if he had lived how big of a star he could have been or if because he died so soon he was an even greater legend then he would have been otherwise.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This famous celebrity baby mama is currently trying to adopt a child from another country. She’s doing it with good intentions mostly, but we hear she will be trying to broker a deal with the mags for the first photos in order to use the money to fund her already existing children’s college funds.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Blind Item

Although this supposedly had nothing to do with their recent breakup, this A list movie actress told many of her friends that when she was dating her A list movie actor boyfriend that he had the smallest peen she had ever seen on a guy. Like so small that when he did not trim that she had trouble seeing the stump in the bushes if you know what I mean.

80's Blind Item

This diminutive actor was on a huge network hit. His favorite game was finding an extra each week that he could spend the entire week with having sex and then leave them at the end. He did not do it really out of malice, he was just a lonely guy. Anyway, one week, his A list at the time co-star, also had his eyes on an extra and they made a deal. The deal was they would get the producers to bring her back for an extra week so they could each have her for a week. Well, it turns out they both liked her so much, this extra managed to stay on the show for an entire season and even ended up getting a speaking role.

Blind Item

This B- list movie actress who would probably be A if she had any acting talent at all has started looking for a new boyfriend. The thing is since she prefers women it is a little tougher. But, to make things interesting she has offered to throw in her girlfriend too if the guy is willing to pony up and be our actresses boyfriend.

Whoopi Stoned Out Of Her Mind While Accepting Oscar

Back in 1991, Whoopi Goldberg won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar and TMZ has obtained some footage of Whoopi explaining how she was so stoned during the speech that she had to coach herself to walk to the stage. The video comes from when Whoopi was doing some voice over work and how her mom called her because she could tell Whoopi was stoned. Back then I think they gave those awards almost right as soon as the show started as a tease to keep you around longer so I think it is possible Whoopi could have still been really stoned if she smoked the joint right before she went in.

If you want to see Denzel Washington looking really good and Whoopi's speech, click here.

Chris Brown Apologizes - Will Have #1 Album


Apparently the world does not care about Chris Brown being in a competition with Michael Lohan for worst celebrity for a woman to be seen with. Charlie Sheen was disqualified for the competition because he failed his urine test, although he kept insisting it was because he has warlock pee and that cannot be measured. Anyway, Chris apologized for his outburst on Good Morning America, ABC gave him a slap on the wrist and then got on their knees and thanked him for still wanting to appear on DWTS. Then, for good measure, ABC told all the people on DWTS they cannot say anything about the incident to the press and have to pretend that Chris is the most wonderful person in the world. And to top it all off, Chris is going to have the number one album in America this week and the second biggest seller of the year. Way to show those record labels you care about what their artists do.

Do You Blame Crystal Harris?


According to Life & Style, Crystal Harris, who is Hugh Hefner's soon to be wife and sole assembly line worker in the lets have sex with grandpa line, is having sex with Dr. Phil's son. About 60 years younger than Hugh and not reliant on little blue pills and an afternoon nap to stay awake past 7pm, Crystal is supposedly sneaking with Jordan McGraw whenever she gets the chance. Jordan was recently fired from the record label where he was working for having sex with people signed to the label. He sounds like a great guy. I wish them well. When Hef was told the news, he mumbled and said, "Wait, I thought I was still with Barbi Benton."

Lindsay Lohan To Blow The Rest Of Her Money Proving Her Innocence


Lindsay Lohan decided to not take a plea deal in her felony grand theft charge. Instead of going to jail for a month or so, she would rather blow through what is left of her money in legal fees trying to prove she is innocent. If she is convicted she will do a lot more time than a month. Plus, at the preliminary hearing next month if she is ordered to stand trial, which she will probably be, the judge is going to send her to jail for probation violations anyway so what is the point?

Do I think she is guilty? Hmm, I don't know. I do know she has got away with stealing lots of things in the past though so it would not shock me if she was guilty. It is her life and her dwindling funds so if this is what she wants to do, then go for it. I think she is hoping for a better plea deal as trial approaches.

Hayden Chirstensen And Rachel Bilson Want You To Know The Are Finished


What do you do if you are a celebrity addicted to fame but no one is paying attention to you anymore? Well, you rehash something that no one cared about in the first place so at least your name will be relevant for the time it takes everyone to read a paragraph about you and move on to more interesting things. According to the spokespeople for Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson they want you to know their relationship is over. This confirms their previous announcement that they were over that was a rehash of the announcement that they were over. You may now return to whatever you were previously doing and forget about them, because they are over and they really mean it this time.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Michael Lohan Says He Is The Victim


Michael Lohan wants all of you to know he is the victim in this whole domestic violence arrest. He says that Kate Major attacked him when he went to collect some stuff from their apartment and that she was drunk and scratched him and hit him. He was shocked that the police decided to arrest him. Uh huh. He also says that Dr Drew cured him of his co-dependence issues. Uh huh. He also says that although he has not spoken to Lindsay, she was in constant contact with him and gave him messages of support. Uh huh. Just like his daughter it is always the fault of someone else. If this was the first time, then you could think about it for a second but this guy is arrested all the time and most of them involve some kind of violence or issues towards women.

Dancing With The Stars Would Love To Have Chris Brown


Not only has ABC decided not to press charges against Chris Brown but to show they really do love him and think this is perfectly normal behavior, they are still inviting him to perform on DWTS. Now, if you are Chris Brown, you smashed a window, threw a tantrum and exploded, and what happens to you? Absolutely nothing. So, why on earth should you stop such behavior? If you or I did what he had done, we would still be looking at the inside of a jail cell. ABC should be ashamed of themselves. Not only are they condoning his actions by their reaction, but by letting him on DWTS, they are rewarding his actions.

Paris Hilton Hates Black Guys


I think Paris Hilton pretty much hates all people of color. Unless you are lily white I don't think Paris will have anything to do with you. Oh sure, she might pay you to clean up after her dead dogs, but she is not going to hang out with you. Neil Strauss has a new book out which has a great little Paris Hilton story when he met her when she was 18.

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
Which guy?
HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

I guess she and Halle Berry have something in common other than horrible relationships. They both believe in the one percent rule.

Another Elizabeth Taylor Tribute

BuzzFoto Blind Item

We have a D List Actor with addiction problems that has a new obsession. He met a beautiful, young C List television actress at a recent Red Carpet event and maybe spoke two words to her. He was somehow able to obtain her personal information from a friend. He’s now showed up at her house several times, sent her email after email, sent naked pics of himself via text and might have even followed her car once or twice. She initially thought she could deal with him herself but now she is considering getting the police involved.

Elizabeth Taylor Has Died

Oscar winning actress and legend like no other, Elizabeth Taylor died this morning at the age of 79.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

David Brent Coming Back To The Office


After spending 30 seconds in a recent episode of The Office and sharing a hug with Michael Scott, David Brent returns to The Office for the season finale. Maybe he can take Michael along with him on his promotional appearances. If you have never seen that final episode of the UK Office, you really need to check it out. It is hilarious. Will Arnett is also going to star in the finale and I think he would be a great boss for next season. Plus, his wife comes on right after him so the Arnett/Poehler clan can take over an hour of primetime NBC. Now, if he could run the company as Gob that would make it even better. No, seriously, Will as Will would be a good fit.

Victoria Jackson Has New Career As Hate Monger


For the second time in as many weeks, the former SNL alum, and do nothing since that horrible movie with Lea Thompson and Andrew Dice Clay, Victoria Jackson has managed to tick off a huge number of people. Last week she went on a rant about Glee and the same sex kiss that Chris Colfer and Darren Criss shared on the show. Because she is usually going to say something controversial, Victoria was invited on CNN to discuss her comments and managed to tick off all the Muslims in the world.

She said that the Muslim-Americans in this country are plotting to take us all down and does not understand why people, especially the media are nice to Muslims. "I just want to know why the liberals are pro-Muslim and pro-gay," she said. "Muslims kill gays. That's what's confusing to me. And the only thing I can come up with is the Muslims hate God and the gays hate his word."

The only thing confusing is her argument because it does not make any sense. I do see a career for her as Dennis Miller's sidekick.

Charlie Sheen Winning On Kimmel

Last night while Jimmy Kimmel was interviewing Mark Cuban, who should suddenly appear but the warlock himself. Taking a recuperation break from his hookers, porn stars, and drugs, Charlie decided to make an appearance that was good, but not warlock worthy.

Michael Lohan Arrested For Felony Domestic Violence


Most of you would not date Chris Brown because you have a fear of being a punching bag. Michael Lohan has also shown that he likes to use women as punching bags too, so I am always shocked that he somehow manages to always find someone willing to date him. This shows to me that if you have even the slightest bit of fame or loose connection to fame that you can get a date. Last night, Michael was charged with felony domestic violence. I thought Michael was on Celebrity Rehab but he must have got some free time because he was charged with not one or two felonies, but three and bail set at $200,000. I wonder if they have father/daughter wings in jail.

Lohan was booked for inflicting corporal injury on a cohabitant, false imprisonment and preventing a report of victimization. So basically he beat her, kept her from leaving the place and would not let her call 911.

So Much For Chris Brown Being Anger Free

I wonder if Chris Brown is on meds and forgot them this morning. If I were him that is the excuse I would g with because this is going to definitely put him right back on Santa's naughty list. By the way, has Santa ever said how you get off his naughty list? Is there an appeals process? This morning Chris Brown was on Good Morning America and was being questioned by the amazing Robin Roberts. Robin for her part says that all the questions she asked were approved in advance by Chris' people. That is nice journalism. I might have to take back my amazing part. Anyway, Robin asked about Rihanna and Chris Brown went ballistic. I think everyone probably rushed to cover their faces and if you were not a weak defenseless person probably started snapping pictures and posting to Twitter.

After Robin asked the questions, Chris decided that a window just had too much glass in it and smashed it. He then took off his shirt to show how tough he is. He then probably found a woman he could start beating. Preferably one without a big brother or dad who would kick his ass.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This B/C List actor never goes to a Red Carpet event or a club with a date. He never talks about his love life is hardly ever seen with a lady on his arm… but he is far from single. He allegedly has three girlfriends in three different states and two of them have children. He tells each of his lady lovers that he protects their relationship by keeping it private but he is really just concerned about one finding out about the other.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Tiger Woods Has A New Girlfriend


Reports are that Tiger Woods has a new girlfriend. Like all of his other girlfriends, this one is blond and young and loves to Party. Perfect for Tiger. Of course now that is pretty much a description for Charlie Sheen hookups too. Well, he does have Tiger blood in him. Oh, do you think he meant tigers as in animals or Tiger as in Tiger Woods? Anyway, Tiger's new girlfriend is 22 years old, has already had one DUI arrest and surprise surprise is not really all that interested in shacking up with a guy almost 40, but is more interested in having a good time with him. Huh. Definitely sounds more and more like someone who would also date Charlie Sheen. You know, if this whole Tiger thing does not work out, I am sure Charlie is always interviewing people for goddess positions. By the way, I know it is a mug shot, but she looks pretty rough there for 22. I am guessing those were not the first drinks she ever had in her life.

Old Hollywood Blind Item

This Golden Globe winning actress was A+++ list. She was primarily known for television and comedy and for a very distinctive voice. Prior to hitting it big though, our actress made ends meet not in the odd jobs she always claimed in her authorized biographies, but turning tricks. Supposedly it is also how she met her future husband.

Did You Even Know Bradley Cooper & Renee Zellweger Broke Up?


I think most of us are probably surprised that Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger lasted as long as they did. I for one do not really get the appeal of Renee, but she certainly has had no problems in her life getting a lot of guys who are not bad looking. After the disaster that was Jennifer Espositio and Bradley Cooper, I think Bradley needed to show the world he could have a stable relationship and was not the psycho everyone thought he was. Apparently Renee was so into Bradley that she wanted a ring. Unfortunately, like his movie with the same name, Bradley was just not that into Renee. Of course Renee did not have Justin Long advising her so she kept right on trying to date the guy. What? You are shocked I have seen this movie? Research people. Strictly for research. I will say that the scene when Jennifer Aniston comes home and finds Ben Affleck in the kitchen helping is pretty touching. Or at least my mom said it was. She used to think Ben was an ass and then watches one scene of one movie that he did not write and she now thinks he is one hell of a guy.

Wycleaf Jean Shot In Hand In Haiti - Not Shot By Charlie Sheen

Wycleaf Jean was shot in the hand in Haiti over the weekend and it was not Charlie Sheen who did it. I saw that Charlie Sheen was headed to Haiti to bring them his comedy show because I am sure they will all understand and appreciate how a guy who made $2M a week would give that all up to do coke and sleep with porn stars. I mean, I am sure all the people in Haiti will be able to relate to that. Maybe he is going because he is a warlock. Anyway, when I saw the words Charlie Sheen, Haiti, and gun shot, I immediately flashed back to Kelly Preston. It turns out though that Charlie is not in Haiti yet, and that Wycleaf is doing ok and will get back to winning as soon as possible.

Sammy Reminded Me Of A Blind Item

Back in the 90's this group had a couple of big hits. College radio-ish for the most part but they made some national television appearances. Have not done much lately, but they always remind me of liquor so that is good. Anyway, back when they first started touring they had something in their rider about a massage therapist. It turns out they did not actually want massages, but a good rub and tug. Unfortunately they only could ask for one back then. One of their albums even has a picture of one of their therapists in the liner notes. Later, when they could demand more, they would make sure there was one for every band member each night.

Sammy Hagar Abducted By Aliens


I love Rock & Roll tell alls. You know why? Because musicians really don't give a crap who they tick off and they know what their fans expect and want and they deliver. If you want sex, drugs, and all things that are crazy about Van Helen then this Hagar book might be right. Just reading the interview with MTV, Sammy talks about sex tens during concerts, having sex with multiple women at a time during shows!!! This is worse than being in a Hugh Hefner line up. How trashy do you have to be to want to have sex with some guy in Van Halen while the show is going on and knowing you only have a couple of minutes before the next girl is going to be getting screwed and that you are like number six of women that have already been screwed by one of these guys in the last few hours. Crazy.

Not as crazy though as Sammy saying that he has been abducted by aliens. He thinks he has and I don't think it is just an excuse to be able to plug his book on Coast To Coast. He says that he has some unexplained dreams about aliens and UFO's and that he thinks more than one might actually be real. Of course it could be the drugs too.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

There are rumors circulating in Hollywood right now that this aging, beautiful actress is more of a Black Widow than a widow. The rumor is that she had a hand in one of her husbands deaths…. The rumor is filled with sordid tales of money, deception and infidelity, but it has earned her the nickname of “Black Widow” amongst Hollywood elites. It doesn’t stop the men from flocking to her though…..