Saturday, January 07, 2012

The Unit Is Indicted On Drug Charges - Police Also Looking At The Apartment And The Magazine


At some point even rappers realized they were quickly running out of names and that any new ones would just be idiotic so have started using their real names. I think it really went downhill with Gucci Mane. Because The Situation became famous for referring to himself in the third person as a pronoun? noun? Situation is a noun, but The Situation would become a pronoun wouldn't it? Anyway, The Situation made all his friends pick nicknames that were also nouns that could be come pronouns. Jonathan Manfre got first pick and chose The Unit. The person who picked last got The Dishwasher. He soon left the group because he had shamed his parents with his choice. Police have indicted Jonathan who has done a remarkable job of ticking off Snooki every chance he gets. Jonathan was charged with a felony for possession of ketamine. Nothing like Special K. Oh, see, now that is a good name. You can be a drug or a diet cereal.

23 comments:

Rita said...

"The apartment" is hilarious Enty!

I think this is where Douche, Bidet, and Toilet Bowl apply perfectly on that whole situation.

nolachickee said...

Watching the show, I thought they were calling him The Unic. Guess it's the accents. I thought to myself, why would you advertise to the world that you got your junk cut off? Now that I realize it's The Unit, it all makes sense to me now. On second thought, no it doesn't.

Rita said...

^LMAO, a eunuch!

MISCH said...

These people are beyond stupid...I don't even know how it's possible to be so lame.

Jasmine said...

Enty- from the title to the body, this post was spot on snarky fantastic!

When I read he was being charged for possession of Special K I just shook my head. Jesus. You know that means the Jersey Shore crew has probably partaken as well.

Wow, steroids (come on, like that's not happening), harmful tanning, copious amounts of hard drinking, promiscuity AND scary Amy Winehouse-drugs like freaking SPECIAL K?!

These guys will be lucky to make it to 40 with this shit right here.
Sheesh, what tan trainwrecks.

Jasmine said...

They should all just change their stage names to Courtney Love and be done with it.

BinkyM said...

I didn't go to college, but even *I* know what pronouns are (I, you, each, those, this, either, somebody, who, what, my, our, myself, ourselves, etc). "Situation" isn't a pronoun.

BTW, reflexive pronouns like "myself" are the ones you misuse most often ("My parents and myself went to the Arclight." Yourself didn't go anywhere. Guh).

Lioness70 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lioness70 said...

Gym, tan, laundry, animal tranquilizers!

My 10 yo's teacher hates the fact that the parents of some of her classmates let them watch this awful show.

She watched 5 minutes of it, said "these people are lame", and turned on cartoons.

Smart girl.

Lioness70 said...

Oh, I'm from Jersey, so these asshole parents let the kids watch this junk because it's Jersey Pride, after all.

Unknown said...

The Situation has a major drug problem, as well. He went to rehab in delray beach fl a few years back. When he got out, he started bartending (?!?!?) on Atlantic ave, and quickly started using coke again. I couldn't believe it when i saw him on tv. But it's very easy to see; his behavior is very dramatic and erratic.

Michael said...

Ooops, grammar nazi is channeling. "The" is an article and "Situation" would be a proper noun, not a pronoun. Lol.

ardleigh said...

So is he using the Ketamine for himself, or is he using it for a date rape drug?

ardleigh said...

So is he using the Ketamine for himself, or is he using it for a date rape drug?

anita_mark said...

@Binky, the misuse of "myself" is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Is the writer of this post a senior citizen?

hunter said...

ketamine is often used recreationally in groups, not uncommon

Camigobu said...

@ardleigh Ketamine is not the date rape drug; I think you're thinking of Rohypnol ("roofie"). Ketamine is an anesthetic drug that is commonly used in peds and vet medicine. It is abused for its hallucinogenic effects (it's a derivative of PCP).

pk8 said...

Ketamine is a disassociative... think more like hallucinogenic effects of acid (lsd) plus being extremely drunk.

had a couple of friends over the years who were into it.

easiest way to put it... imagine being 3 bottles of wine deep with all the spinning woozy-ness and disorienting sights/sounds but none of the urge to vomit on your friend's shoes and you remember everything the next day (unlike the temporary amnesia of rohypnol)

i prefer to keep my wits about me, but for some people it's a great release as is disassociates their head from reality where they don't feel pain or anxiety. *shrug*

just wanted to clear that up...

pk8 said...

considering they spend the majority of their time in clubs in jersey, it's more shocking that they haven't been caught with more than just ketamine...

good to have bouncers block you when you need to "re-up".

Susan said...

The Situation, Unit and Dishwasher are not pronouns. Do you mean to call them proper nouns? A proper noun is the specific name of a person, place or thing and would be capitalized.

Robert said...

Is "The Douchebag" a proper noun?

Jasmine said...

HAHAHA Robert, touche dude

RocketQueen said...

Count me as another that is being driven slowly crazy by this rash of people trying to sound intelligent by saying "myself" instead of "me" or "I". Bieber is one of the worst offenders.