Did anyone watch Celebrity Apprentice last night? Faced with looking for the remote control and getting up or watching two hours of Celebrity Apprentice, I gave in to the inevitable fact that I am lazy and just settled in for two hours of the show which could have been an hour. Introducing people does not mean you need to stretch out a show to two hours. That took five minutes. I realize that making it an extra hour gives Donald Trump more air time and more time to make himself look like a complete ass when he is basically telling Dayana Mendoza that her boyfriend is an ass because he has no money and that he will never be able to keep her because he does not have a jet. I'm surprised Trump did not start rubbing his hooves in the sand right then and tell Dayana that as soon as he could get his wife out of the house she should move in. And he did it right in front of his son who just nodded right along. Yeah, like his son would ever have a jet or even necessarily a job if it was not for dad. Ivanka? She is pretty damn smart and she would be a force to reckon with whether she had Donald as a dad or not.
Monday, February 20, 2012
This was not even my reason for writing. My reason was the ass kissery the show does to the contestants. Did you know that Debbie Gibson is a pop icon? Victoria Gotti an author? Aubrey O'Day a pop star? If The Apprentice is all about not being BS, and being real, I think the show should start with being honest about who the contestants really are.
Lou Ferrigno - Former Mr. Universe and can still kick your ass.
Patricia Velasquez - Passionate about her charity and used to play Marta on Arrested Development
Debbie Gibson - Had some hits 30 years ago. Only can call her Debbie and not Deborah if the check is large enough.
Teresa Giudice - Obligatory Real Housewife because NBC owns Bravo
Victoria Gotti - Daughter of mobster who had a reality show
Arsenio Hall - Did anyone know I have a daughter?
Lisa Lampanelli - Funny. Knows something about someone.
Penn Jillette - Wait, I thought he was Teller
Dayana Mendoza - the cast member Donald Trump wants to get lucky with
Aubrey O'Day - former reality star who has a show on Oxygen which no one has on cable system but NBC probably owns.
Tia Carrere - Biggest paycheck she will get all year.
Cheryl Tiegs - Supermodel before they even coined the term. Your grandfather had a thing for her.
Paul Teutul Sr. WTF does he know who can write a $305K check?
George Takei - Damn he looks good for 100.
Dee Snider - While grandpa was looking at Cheryl Tiegs he was listening to Twisted Sister.
Adam Carolla - Funny. I can't say anything bad because I like being invited over to his house.
Michael Andretti - We would figure out which Andretti you are, but you won't be around long enough to care.
Clay Aiken - And his last album was when?