Fox News is becoming quite the D list lover. Yesterday I wrote about how Lindsay Lohan would be seated at their table for the White House Correspondent's Dinner and now they have really lowered the IQ by putting Kim Kardashian at the same table. Kim, who you last saw on 30 Rock last night clogging a toilet has been to this dinner before. I'm trying to picture the conversation at the table and imagine it going something like this.
Lindsay – Umm, sorry I'm three hours late. Oh, is it almost over? I really thought the invitation said 11pm, not 8pm. Anyone know where I can smoke? Is there a private bathroom here I can use? Do we have to sit in one place or can we move around? Are there always this many old people at this club? Not a club? What? I was told this was a club. The people in here are in a club? Oh, you mean like Rotary or something? Where is the President? Is he going to come around to meet me? No one is going to pat me down before I see him right? Does anyone know where that bathroom is? I really need it.
Kim – I'm sorry I've been texting the last hour. I don't mean to be rude but I'm signing a deal to be the spokesperson for some other company you have never heard of and going to be in your faces even more because I know you like looking at me. I like looking at me so why shouldn't you love looking at me? My record for taking photos of myself is 420 in one day, but after that I got tired of changing outfits and the lighting in my room changed so I had to stop. I love the mirrors in my house. They are amazing. Not as amazing as my boyfriend though. He is the best. I'm going to marry him and have babies. Oh, no my boyfriend just broke up with me. Which of these people here has the most money? Oh, him? Yeah, I have always had a crush on Jon Stewart. He was in Big Daddy. Daily Show? Does it come on every day? Never heard of it. I can't wait to start dating him and get married and have babies. He's married? Have you seen me? Oh, don't mind the cameras. I take them everywhere. Ignore the workers, I do.