Last week, Jessica Biel was in Paris and her every move was tracked by her publicist and dutifully reported to Kneepads. Apparently there must have been some kind of free coffee exchange for publicity thing because the first thing Kneepads mentioned was where exactly Jessica got her morning coffee. I'm guessing the publicist got a whole bunch of free coffee. Anyway, the "story" went on to talk about how Jessica went to a designer who also does wedding dresses so she must have been picking one out and then she went to another designer so that must have been for a fitting for the dress and then she went to a kid's store so she must be pregnant. I wish she had got lost and walked inside a funeral parlor and we could be discussing which person close to Jessica was dying of something incurable and how she was making plans for them, in Paris.