Friday, April 06, 2012

Ted C Blind Item

Stars new to the scene can be so stupid. They haul outta town and they think they can act all diva-like and nobody's gonna be the wiser.

Uh, wrong! And perhaps no one's realizing this right now better than Consuela Conveyor-Belt, a newly minted star who thinks her stuff don't stink just because she went to the Oscars.

Gosh, what did Consuela do, exactly?

She ditched that boyfriend's she's so busy pretending to be all hot 'n' bothered with and went to a resort popular with disco-eyed Angelinos. With some girlfriends.

And when the partying gals hit a club which just happened to have a cocktail waitress who caught Consuela's eye, that's when things really got interesting.

Consuela made a pass at the waitress. The server then got all offended and stuff. Probably had something to do with Ms. Conveyor-Belt sticking her hand up the waitress's skirt, ya know?

The gorgeous worker-bee screamed bloody murder, at which point Consuela screamed even louder bloody murder! How dare you accuse me, don't you know who I am, and all that self-important crap.

There was a scuffle and then management swept the whole thing under the carpet, as it were.

Lesson learned: Sanctimonious B-listers who scream enough always get their way.

Until their beards who don't like the unnecessary attention drop them faster than you can say, "Who's next on the conveyor belt?"

AND IT AIN'T: Lauren Conrad, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt

50 comments:

CJ said...

Lea Michele? cause she seems like a bitch?

NernersHuman said...

At first I thought Sofia Vergara, but I think she was a star in Mexico for quite a while. And I believe she has a long-term boyfriend.

Amber said...

I like the Lea Michele guess. I've heard nothing but stories about how rude she is.

Green Wave Gal said...

Jennifer Lawrence? Lea isn't that new to the scene anymore.

yolo said...

Jennifer Lawrence. Hands down.

MISCH said...

Jennifer Lawrence has been nominated for an Oscar and is probably more than a B...

Cherry blossom said...

Stacey Kiebler

Green Wave Gal said...

Stacey is not B and not an actress.

Green Wave Gal said...

Stacey is not B and not an actress.

Shancor said...

Rooney Mara?

MISCH said...

AGC says Zoe Saldana and that sounds about right.

EmEyeKay said...

What's the connection w/the AIAs?

Geebz said...

Zoe

Cherry blossom said...

@Green wave gal
Stacey is an actress, maybe more a C or a D, but she has been on few shows like George Lopez, What about Brian, How I met your mother, Chuck, Psych.

Sylvia said...

I am going with Sofia Vergara since the nickname is Consuela LOL.

Green Wave Gal said...

I guess I just consider Stacey from her 'wrestler' days. Lol

RenoBlondee said...

Not Lea or Jennifer. Lea has a BV name already and Ted loves Jennifer for being down to earth and kind.
My thought was Rooney, but does she even have besties she parties with?

Missjenny619 said...

well if either Sofia Vergara or Zoe Saldana put their hand up my skirt, I would have been like "well....hel-looo!" And I have a serious boyfriend. But those two women are gorgeous! I wouldn't be that offended, at all ;)

MISCH said...

Missjenny619...you are a hoot.

hunter said...

Could see this being Rooney Mara

Beth said...

I don't think it's Sofia Vergara. She's been around a long time, has been married and is engaged. (She and her fiance don't come off as hot'n' bothered.) That said, she has done bearding duties in the past for Tom Cruise, but this sounds like someone with more recent bearding duties.

Zoe Saldana

Samiq said...

so why does he list the 3 that it ISN'T? None of them are new to the scene unless I don't understand what "new" means...? I have trouble with his blinds.

Beth said...

Two reality stars and two failed pop stars?

EmEyeKay said...

@hunter, Rooney already has a moniker.

@Samiq, go to TAT and figure Ted out for yourself.

EmEyeKay said...

@Beth - I wouldn't consider JLH as a failed pop star - I mean, she didn't have a chance.

I really don't see the connection in the AIAs. Maybe 'cuz I'm pulling a Bobby Brown today. It's only 12:05, so I'm working on it, let's put it that way.

AKM said...

Why does Emma Stone spring to mind for me?

pr787 said...

I thought of Emma Stone too. She is all over Andrew Garfield and he looks completely uninterested in her. She went to the Oscars and evearyone liked her presentation there. Jennifer Lawrence must be A-list since she's Oscar nominated and her film Hunger Games is breaking all records. Besides she is rarely seen with her boyfriend.

Beth said...

I think Emma Stone's a great guess.

The first line in her Wiki bio is interesting -- it involves reality TV and singing:

"Stone launched a career in television after winning the role of Laurie Partridge on In Search of the New Partridge Family (2004), a VH1 talent competition reality show.[10] The resulting show, The New Partridge Family (2005), only produced a pilot episode."

britt said...

What's Rooney's moniker?

beth said...

I think it's Emma Stone. It's been rumored that she swings both ways for awhile.

Mooshki said...

Rooney and Emma are still with their boyfriends. This is someone who was dropped by a guy (beard). Zoe Saldana fits perfectly. Not saying that it's true, just that she fits.

Mooshki said...

Oh, and "who's next on the conveyor belt" definitely would apply to B.Coop.

Mindreader said...

I have no idea! I'm never good at guessing these things, I just ponder u guys answers. Lol

Jaiden_S said...

I think it's Zoe. Fits all the clues better than anyone else.

lzahart said...

I don't think Zoe is newly minted--her breakout was really around Avatar.

Also I don't think that this person is single because it says "she ditched that boyfriend she's so busy pretending to be..." which seems present tense to me-- although the end does seem to indicate that the boyfriend/beard isn't going to put up with it much longer. And honestly not sure Ted understands past/present tense as well as other vocabulary issues so maybe that doesn't matter.

I'm liking the Emma Stone guess for the reasons stated above specifically the correlations to the AIAs and the Oscars mention.

Rooney's name is Charlotte (Chuck) Finger-Dingle or something like that.

Jules_345 said...

I like the Zoe guess and it ties back into the divatude on the star trek set.

Jaime said...

Emma and Andrew Garfield just moved in together. I was thinking that shenae grimes from the descendants. Zoe is a great guess too, tho, making more sense. Rooney is chuck

MadLyb said...

With Ted's choice of moniker, you can't help but picture a Latina for this. "Consuela Conveyor-Belt". Sounds like a buxom Latina who stuffs her curves in a tight dress, so that takes me to Sofia Vergara. But I can't see this being her at all, and besides, hetero or not, the waitress wouldn't scream if it were her, right? It's got to be someone much less famous.

It can't be Emma, unless the whole bubbly, charming personality thing is an act. :(

Jeneral said...

Demi Lovato?

tempinfo.com said...

The closest is Emma Stone, but the rest of you are way off, as usual.

I would guess it is latina based on the name.

SoberSista said...

Zoe could fit as Consuela since she's part Puerto Rican and part Dominican. Her birth name according to Wiki is Zoe Yadira SaldaƱa Nazario, and she's been on the cover of Latina magazine.

The only thing throwing me off is the AIA's. To me they're all TV people, two of whom can sing.

DJane said...

Vanessa Hudgens?

MamaMouse said...

Selena Gomez for sure!

Matthew said...

Although she fits with the BF thing, I don't see Emma Stone. If this was after Superbad, maybe. But after Superbad Zombieland Easy A The Help, I just don't think she is new to stardom or B list.

Jennifer Lawrence doesn't seem right either. She wasn't just invited, she was nominated for best actress. After Hunger Games, I don't associate her with B list. She has the chops to nail a role aka Winter's Bone and she can handle the lead in a blockbuster in Hunger Games.

I like the Zoe Saldana guess. She went to the oscars in 2010 though.

Out of left field, what about Selena Gomez? She has been a star on Disney for a long time, but as far as real world she isn't that important. She was at both 2011 and 2012 oscars, so that may work or it may not. She may have had success but lets be honest, once she gets out of the Disney bubble, B list is the best she can hope for. And when I hear someone pretending to be hot and bothered with a BF her and Beiber hit that to the T. Plus the hispanic angle works too.

Matthew said...

One more thing. LOL at mentioning Shenae Grimes. If she ever touched stardom, which is very suspect was with 90210 at the beginning. I just don't see her as ever reaching B list.

fancyscreenname said...

Sounds like Zoe saldana

i♥louboutin said...

Zoey... She's latina so the consuela works! everything fits for her!

samantha said...

My first thought was Paula Patton, but I'm not sure how Robin Thicke would fit in with that.

Xtinarey said...

Selena gomez??? She's new to the scene and latina....and apparently always with justin bieber...

Yuffie said...

And don't forget Selena Gomez's (former) band is called The Scene...