Friday, May 04, 2012

Tanning Mom Says We Are All Jealous & Ugly


Apparently tanning mom does not look in the mirror much, but she says that she is the victim of a witch hunt that saw her being charged with child endangerment for taking her five year old daughter to a tanning salon. Tanning mom pleaded not guilty yesterday and then both she and her husband spoke out. Tanning mom's husband does not appear to share her love for tanning booths. He seems pretty pasty to me but he supports his wife which I guess means he wants his 5 year old to be tan too. Tanning mom said that everyone who disagrees with her is jealous, fat and ugly.

75 comments:

JoElla said...

Oh yes... I am oh so jelly over that.

Comma Chaser said...

Kudos to you, saddlebags. I tip my pasty skin to thee. And hey, lemme know how those melanomas work out.

FSP said...

Damn she's hot!

what do I type here? said...

She make me think of the Seinfeld episode where cramer is tanning with butter and starts to look like a roast chicken.

Jennifer H. said...

From what I've seen about this, the little girl went to the salon with her mother, but did not tan. She was just there. I saw some news video showing the little girl
The anchors were saying, about the little girl, "Oh, that looks painful, poor thing," but I couldn't see anything wrong with her. She wasn't red or pink, etc. It's like the anchors didn't even watch the video.

alisontheoriginal said...

My first thought - well my second thought as my first thought was that of shock - was this person must have been very bullied as a child.

Seachica said...

I've never understood why as a society, we think tanning is beautiful, but we treat black people as a less prestigious race. White people pay money to look darker, but few of them would want to trade places with a black person and live that life.

Me said...

what's it called when you don't see yourself in the mirror, you think you see something else? body dysmorphia or something. people with eating disorders think they are fat when they are rail thin. maybe she has that.

when i first read the article i coulsn't see the picture, and it said something like, "her unnaturally bronzed face". i thought, "who is this reporter to say what looks unnatural". okay, get it now.

~Z~ said...

Oh yeah, I’m brown with envy. I heard she is the toast of the town. ~ brin (from another site)

She looks like such a brown noser....

I bet her favorite cartoon is Mr Hanky.

She really must be full of shit.

KLM said...

How does a 70 year old have a five year old daughter?

parissucksliterally said...

Well, we all have computers, so we must be!

I always love the people who say that about me, when I find someone to be unattractive.

selenakyle said...

And she's only in her early 40's!!!

Her voice sounded scratchy on the news. I wonder if she smokes, too?

Charles Bronson made some movies that coulda been custom-named for this chick...

mynerva said...

Ladies and gentlemen......... Lindsay Lohan's future

Cancan said...

She looks like Magda from Something About Mary.

MISCH said...

Sure I'll stick with my pale pasty face....

Boobs U said...

Good point Seachica...something to ponder. I also hate the whole frosted, pink lipstick these assholes wear. Like, we can see you are tan; you don't need to accentuate it even further. It is hideous. Or, maybe I am just a fat, ugly hater:)

Boobs U said...

Good point Seachica...something to ponder. I also hate the whole frosted, pink lipstick these assholes wear. Like, we can see you are tan; you don't need to accentuate it even further. It is hideous. Or, maybe I am just a fat, ugly hater:)

HannahPalindrome said...

I hate it when people try to relate tanning to race...

~Z~ said...

Here's hoping she's born black in her next lifetime.

MontanaMarriott said...

Too believe someone actually knocked that thing up, go to show you theres somebody for everybody

DianaofThemyscira said...

It hurts to look at her each and every time b/c I always expect to see a piece of skin falling off of her and leaving a pink spot in it's place. Can't the salon owners do what a bartender does and cut her off. This is not the behavior of a healthy person. Skin cancer scan and therapy session STAT!

Dizzel said...

Ha! Too true! :)

KPeony said...

I want beef jerky now. Thanks enty.

angel said...

Whoa, she looks rough. Denial much?

Merlin D. Bear said...

Culturally, the tan evolved as a status symbol ... you had enough leisure time to be able to relax on the beach.
However, back in the Middle Ages, lack of a tan was considered a mark of the aristocracy, since you obviously didn't have to go outside to work in the sun.
That being said, it's apparent that you can fry the brain with overexposure to tanning booths.

RenoBlondee said...

I can't even look at her picture. It turns my stomach.

anita_mark said...

She's from Nutley. For any Futurama fans, that's the city they reference from time to time. On the episode where Bender rounded people up at a bus stop for his computer dating business, they were all waiting for the bus to Nutley. That's what I took from this whole thing.

She must be majorly sick to be able to look in the mirror and think what she's seeing looks good.

I went to high school with a girl that now owns a tanning salon. She looks older than her mom. I removed her as a friend on FB because I was tired of her long articles about how "safe" tanning is. That and I saw that she "liked" the Kardashians. I can't have that.

Snapdragon said...

I know this is mean, but seriously. 'Leather couch' comes to mind. Body dysmorphia is a spot-on call.

WW said...

I think there's more to this. There's a bigger problem here. The daughter's teacher reported this after the girl, who was sunburned, said she went to the tanning salon. Okay, it would have been sorted out in two seconds and we'd have heard nothing about it if the mother didn't look and talk like a crazyperson. The teacher, who obviously has seen/met the mother before, must believe the mother is nuts or she wouldn't have reported this to the authorities.

Vicki Cupper said...

Adam Yauch has died. :(

hunter said...

I also hate frosted pink lipstick, ew!

I used to tan but no longer do and no longer care if I look tan. Well, in the summer I like tan legs but thankfully in NY we don't have the same orange-love that seems to be popular in LA.

Oddly Jersey seems to feel differently though they are right next door.

Trey said...

At what point does this become a real addiction, one that's a sickness? These people need help.

mikey said...

Hey Hunter - I'm right next door to you! South Jersey has its own set of norms.

I've never been to a tanning salon but I do use fake tanning crap on my legs in the summer. My legs are so white they glow.

Texshan said...

This woman clearly has issues, if she thinks having her skin look like a weathered saddle is attractive. I may be fat, but I am neither jealous or ugly, BTW. I'll stay pasty and wrinkle-free, thank you very much.

I read on Yahoo that this woman has a $100 unlimited monthly membership to the tanning salon. She goes five days a week and tans at the highest level for the longest time allowed. Nice. I wonder if this is her: http://secretsofatwentysomething.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/sundamage.jpg

WTF w/Beastie Boy Adam?!?!?!

Vicki Cupper said...

I know, Tex! Apparently he had cancer for a long time. :(

Lori said...

@Vicki Cupper -- what?????!!!

Vicki Cupper said...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/04/adam-mca-yauch-dead-beastie-boys-dies-battling-cancer_n_1477863.html?1336150993&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

:(

hunter said...

Awww, that's a shame about the Beastie Boy guy. :'(

Hi Mikey! I tried the tanning lotion but it was a mess so I gave up. I'm naturally a decent color so that makes me lucky.

Caroline Fritz said...

This woman frightens me. She looks like a desiccated mummy.

selenakyle said...

OH NO, Vicky Cupper!

That sucks.

I'm gonna blast the Beastie Boys all day and night in tribute.

Glad he lived long enough to know he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, but I understand he didn't attend.

Damn.

ABlake said...

I'M RUBBER, YOU'RE GLUE!!
(actually, she'd melt that glue. I can't imagine the heat radiating from her face. It would be like standing next to the sun)

car54 said...

This woman is nuts. Someone (her husband and family) need to get her some help. If she is this out of touch with reality something is really not right and that can't be good for her kids either.

L'auteur said...

She should be on an episode of My Strange Addiction...

Fairmaiden327 said...

LOL!

billybob said...

Shit, she’s darker than my black husband!

FS said...

Is her hair also being fried by the tanning booth? She definitely seems to have body dysmorphic disorder. I wonder, if she was shown photos of herself, what would she think? Would she recognize that is was her?

Frufra said...

Very sad about Adam. Also gotta say, anita, you totally cracked me up with your unfriending story. You're my kind of people.

Brittany said...

When I look at her I see William H. Macy after a casting call on the sun.

Reese said...

Roasted nut.

BigMama said...

Sad about Adam. Another contributor to the sound track of my youth

I am very envious of this woman. It is my fondest ambition to lay out in the sun until I look like a giant slab of over cooked tenderloin. All the cowboys would be flippin off their sadles just to talk to me. Of course the conversation would probably begin with "Do you use jerk seasoning or Teriaki?"

ParkerNosey said...

I'm in Philly and this is on all the time. She's hilarious and obviously addicted. In one interview she said "she comes with me all the time, she has never been in the bed. She sits and plays with Barbies cause she wants to be like Mommy." I almost died. But no one said they saw the kid in the bed except the girl who told someone she was in the bed with Mommy. She misspoke or didn't tell them she was just in the room. She's a pasty thing. I'm sick of hearing about leather bag and her WPP (as my girlfriend would say, white people problems). What a waste of tax money this case is.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

She looks like an old catchers mit!

DixieTheNoble82 said...

Fuck her. If SHE wants to look like an over-baked potato then so be it. Leave your daughter out of it. I didn't even know a tanning salon would allow a 5 year old to tan. Wtf?

mngddess said...

Word, Mikey. South Jersey is NOTHING like North Jersey.

She really is painful to look at.

MirandaPriestly said...

This made me LOL bc I thought the exact same thing when I saw her picture!

Agent**It said...
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Agent**It said...
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ardleighstreet said...

Anyone know how old this biatche is? She looks like she is 60yrs old meth addict.

Her skin looks like a bad 70's nogahide couch. YUCK!!

Agent**It said...

Sorry, these pop ups/ads are killing me.Now I forgot what I was going to say:)

Pogue Mahone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pogue Mahone said...

She looks like a Buick seat!

misspoppypants said...

Anita_mark, toooo funny!
Didn't anyone notice her tattoed lipliner? She has teeth inside her labia.

nienhulm said...

I LOVE Futurama. She's totally from Nutley! Wonder if her husband looks like the bus driver, lol

Smashly said...

I think she tripled up with some bronzed or something. Her arrest photo was not this bad! I am not trying to defend her AT all! But she only tans 4 days a week, to much for a pale person YES, to much for a sane person Probably, to much for a tanarexic NO. There are people out there who tan a lot more, but don't bring their Children inside the building! Even if she was in the lobby there is not need for a child to be in an 18 years and over establishment(which is what they should be IMHO)

warmislandsun said...

I enjoy the sunshine and tanning. That said, she is a charred version of Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.

misspoppypants said...

Check out the picture of her in the cop car with that precious pink bow in her hair.

KSam said...

Ha!

michelelala said...

I thought someone had posted my mother's 30 year old Coach bag on etsy to sell.

auntliddy said...

She ask herself why the hell she BURNING her face? ?????

lutefisk said...

I have a friend who looks very similar to her, but not as bad. Also a constant tanner. She moved down to Florida and left her five kids here with her husband. She wants to be able to lay out in the sun all year round.She looks like an old piece of meat also.

Tinkabella said...

She's right...I am jealous (i.e. my skin is not burnt, damaged and thick), fat (i.e. I could more than stand to lose a few pounds) and ugly (i.e. if my comprehension skills leads me to believe the opposite meaning of every word in English). This woman is just stating the obvious...I need to die, so she can remain fabulous... #GetYourLife #LimitsAreForReasonsLady

elspeth said...

@michelelala -- YES! First i thought she looked like a Coach purse in British Tan that i had back then [Yes, i AM that old], but after seeing a few more pix of her, she's really closer to the ever classic 'Mahogany' leather from the old 'Coach' line.

You know, if she sees this, she might save some money. The Coach products sold to recondition their leather are fabulous and would cost much less than anything she might be using on her [can't say 'skin'] face and body.

GFL, lady. Melanoma is a real (((problem))).

shakey said...

These comments are cracking me up! KLM - you had me for a second. I actually thought, she's 70?!? Selenakyle, I'm thinking the 5th one. Misspoppypants, you killed me.

My mother used to be a tanning monster. Before tanning salons. She'd lie outside every chance she got. She had a "blanket" that had a reflecting side to attract the sun and one of those reflecting boards that people used to put in front of their faces. Eventually she got herself a tanning lamp, but she didn't use it much. She was never quite as brown as this woman, but her hair was exactly the same - blonde straw. Even when her doctor told her to stop lying in the sun because she had a couple of spots on her face that had to be surgically removed, she continued. She's still kicking, but it was sad to see such vanity, and I found it quite scary that she would continue such reckless behaviour, especially since she was so paranoid about breast cancer. She's damn lucky she didn't die an early death.

I think women like these wear the pink frosted lipstick because it's the only lipstick that stands out on their face.

So Tanning Mom, may your daughter learn the same lesson I did - getting baked by the sun, real or fake, is bad. And when she's my age, she will bask in compliments of how nice her skin looks and how people think she's younger than 49. She will not be jealous of people like you.

For God's sake, stop your face from looking like the skin off a Christmas turkey.

thisoldbroad said...

I've seen other pictures of tanning mom where the posters REALLY bumped up the color of her tan to the extreme. Huffington Post has her picture so enhanced she truly looks red as a brick. Yuk!

Hope the tanning salons stop allowing underaged kids to be in the booths with their caregivers. Can't imagine them letting them in while the beds are on anyway. Will this creepy woman start spray tanning the child like they do on toddlers & tiaras? Some people should never breed!

Lelaina Pierce said...

How long before they give this lunatic a reality show?