Friday, June 15, 2012

When Is It Cheating?



So, yesterday I posted a photo of Miley Cyrus ion a bikini while she was in Miami. The world was in an uproar yesterday because in that same series of photos she was hanging out with a guy who she says is her best friend and that despite what it looks like are not with each other and Miley says she would never cheat on Liam. All that may be true, but when you look at this guy and his eyes and how close he gets, unless he is gay, I think he wants Miley. She might not know it and her mom might not know it, who also defended the friendship, but the guy wants her and is just waiting to make his move. Do you think she doesn't know? If you know someone is into you and you hang out with them, is it cheating?

53 comments:

Vicki Cupper said...

Interesting question. I don't think so, because you aren't doing anything, BUT it's a very blurry, thin line.

Henriette said...

No, but I think you are an asshole for leading the person on.

Henriette said...

In that second pic, she looks like smelled something bad, and he is looking at her boob.

Vicki Cupper said...

But what if you already made it clear that you just want to be friends and they're okay with that?

Vicki Cupper said...

Henriette, she always looks like that. I'm convinced her real father is a beaver and Billy Ray just adopted her.

FSP said...

He wants her badly. So obvious.

Henriette said...

@VickiCooper
Nobody is ok with that shit! When you want someone and they say "let's be friends," you still hope you can change his or her mind. Been there and done that with pics to prove it. It's just mean.

TwinkleTwinkle said...

What do you do if you hang out someone with good intentions and unknown to you, this person is secretly in love with you or wants you. Do you stop hanging out with them, so soon as you become aware that there is these feelings? I think I may hang around incase some real feelings surface.

angel said...

Yesterday I saw a whole series of photos of them together. I couldn't help wondering about his sexuality, but my gardar isn't the best. Still, for a grown single guy to spend a lot of time hanging out with an unavailable girl instead of perusing his own interests is unusual.

EmEyeKay said...

Spitting coffee alllll over keyboard!

EmEyeKay said...

That was aimed @Vicki. Stupid phone.

S.joy said...

I swear i can't stop laughing right now!!!!! Bwahahaha

Amber said...

I've been in this position more than once, and even more than once with the same person, and it's the worst. You can try to focus on your friendship, but ultimately it ends up being best to pull away if you can't reciprocate.

Henriette said...

@TwinkleTwinkle
I can only speak from my experiences and the ones I've seen, sooner or later the person's "real" feelings will come out. When that happens, the object of affection must decide whether to give it a go or let the person go.

For example, I figured out pretty early on my husband (we were friends) was in love with me, and I confronted him with it. He did not deny his feelings, but said he was not looking for a relationship. Of course this was a lie, but I let it go. I figured he was an adult and knew his own mind. That year was VERY ugly. We finally straightened out, but it took effort.

In another scenario, I was in love with a guy who only "loved me as a friend." I saw all his girlfriends and just kept hoping. I ended up hating his guts.

It does not end nicely when there is unrequited love.

Ms Cool said...

I was the object of unrequited love three times in my youth. I was such good friends with the guys that I never thought of myself as leading them on. I figured they knew that I wanted friendship only and were ok with that. I was crushed each time the friendships ended. In retrospect, I probably did the wrong thing but I know in my heart then that I truly loved being their friend.

I would never have thought I was cheating. I'm about as straight an arrow as you can get.

lostathome said...

He wants to tap that.

JSierra said...

She was probably giving him a handy under the pool float.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Patty said...

Stupid is as stupid does. If you're waiting for sensible and responsible behavior from Miley you're in for a looooooong wait.

msgirl said...

Same thing happened to me, I was friends with guys and at the time really had no idea they were wanting more. I was already going out with my future husband, and figured that made everyone aware of what my status was. He didn't have a problem with these guys, he liked them, but when he told me what they were wanting, I laughed at him! Only looking back now do I realize he was right...

JSierra said...

Is it just me or does it look like he is getting a little frisky under the water? If you look closely his arms look like they are outstretched towards her...hmmmmmm

Henriette said...

I know enough about guys to know the dreaded "friend zone." It can be bad for women too though.

Henriette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
seaward said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHA

annie said...

he is gay and neither she, her mom or her fiance are going to take it upon themselves to out him.

GSDlover said...

Hanging out with friends isn't cheating in my book, I don't see what the big deal is here, as long as she and Liam are ok with it.

Lioness70 said...

This stuff never ends well. Happened to me too, when I was engaged. Lots of pain, lots of tears.

Brooke said...

That guy is soooo creepy!!! All those pics he was LEERING into her! Ewwwww!

Beta said...

its ok
based on these photos, they're not doing anything
not cheating imo

Maja. With a J. said...

Yeah, I think this guy wants to bang her, and I think she knows it. Not her fault though. He should back off.

Seachica said...

No way is it cheating Miley isn't doing anything more than being friends. It is his choice to hang with her, and we are still assuming that he is wanting more than friendship.

That said, If Miley knows that he likes her in that way, then she should make it clear that they are only ever going to be friends. After that, it is his decision whether to stay friends or move on. Don't blame her if he chooses to pine away.

luckylass said...

This guy super pinged my Gaydar yesterday. That doesn't mean he can't admire her body, though. My gay friends certainly have admired mine. I don't think this is a case of unrequited love/lust.

RenoBlondee said...

I've been there before too and not known it till hindsight. We probably all have.

FrenchGirl said...

if i follow Enty's idiot theory,Enty is for the chastity belt and the burka just in case

DianaofThemyscira said...

He's probably gay and they didn't want to reveal his status b/c it's no one's beeswax. However, having had many gay guy friends over the years, they love love love breasts and will ogle, touch and talk about them all day long so this wouldn't be particularly odd behavior for a man whether he's straight or gay. Asexual yes but otherwise no.

Lori said...

@Diana- not all gay men like boobs, but the ones that do reeeally do. That part I'll agree with.

I feel that it is unfair and unhealthy to maintain a friendship with a person who you know has serious unrequited feelings towards you. I understand the appeal...someone who gives you lots of attention, accepts and admires you, but it isn't right. You are doing them a diservice by pretending that it isnt an issue, and I would question my motivations if I were to maintain such a relationship.

I cut one friend out of my life for this very reason. Sucked because we had a great friendship before feelings changed.

CarmeliteLady said...

Eye contact, is everything. He's undressing her with his eyes, he's staring in to her eyes, just because he's scrawny doesn't mean that he's gay. I've been in this situation and it feels so great to have such a GREAT friend that is so caring, considerate, attentive, helpful and there for you. Add love and sex and that's a relationship baby. It's not fair to stay friends with someone that you know has feelings for you or is attracted to you. Friendship is often used as a pre or port coital relationship term, we don't do anything we're just friends, we don't do anything anymore we're just friends. Just because you like the attention doesn't mean it's right, someone's going to end up being hurt, and using someone for how great they make you feel, when they're wanting more is not ethical. Do unto other as you would have them do unto you.

bobbi_1025 said...

@Diana I agree with the boobs comment. When I used to go clubbing there was 1 guy that would always go with us that was gay. I didn't know he was gay the first time we hung out and I flipped because he grabbed BOTH my boobs and adjusted them (I had on a slutty shirt I will admit it) he told me he was doing a boobie check. I slapped him in the face and luckily a friend pulled me to the side and told me he was gay. He apologized at that point and told me he did that for the other girls I kinda blew the whole ordeal off.
As for the whole not knowing someone is into you, I call b.s. I've been on the receiving end a few times and knew right away if someone was into me like that. That's usually when I had to distance myself from them cause I don't think it is fair to know and say oh I just want to be friends. It hurts more to see someone wanting more than what you are willing to give IMO.

Ginger said...

Oh ridiculous! She is engaged to one of the hottest, about to be most sought after young guys in Hollywood, and she hangs out with a friend and she's cheating? Give me a break. So what if he wants her?? Are we saying that women have to put on a chastity belt and hide in a bloody tower when they're engaged?

auntliddy said...

How nice forher to be engaged and domeone lusting after you! I hv zero experience in that area! Lol. Look they are all children, and children make mistakes

0_0 said...

He wants her. If he's there after she has a fight with Liam, or she gets a bit emotional, or has one too many, BAM!

I broke up with my 3 year gf because she went out with another man. It was my one requirement, because I am not going to worry about which time the cheating will end up happening.

Again.

DianaofThemyscira said...

I don't think it's anyone's responsibility but the party with the romantic feelings to remove themselves from the situation if they're told point blank that nothing is going to happen in that regard unless they start to overstep boundaries, pressing the issue or causing problems and discomfort for the other person and/or that person's relationship should they be in one. If the wannabe lover says that he/she can handle it and understands that it's not going to go anywhere and they still want to keep the friendship going then any heartache and awkwardness they may feel b/c of it is of their own creation. It's not leading someone on if you're upfront about your feelings or lack thereof and they promise they understand, won't act on their feelings and still want to stick around and be friends.

jax said...

lol...dude is gay. Not all gays come in ambercrombie and washboard abs.

crila16 said...

No. I don't think it's cheating at all. It's not cheating until your mind and body are involved. If Liam isn't worries, it's because he's not threatened by her BFF. When it's a man and woman being friends...there's usually feelings on one part or another, but it is 100% possible to just be friends with a straight male and have absolutely no feelings for each other. I have 2 male friends that are like brothers and have absolutely no romantic interest...and 3 males friends who would jump me if they could.

shakey said...

Maybe this guy is her backup plan.

Agent**It said...

He's from Miami and is a "professional life coach" and wonderfully gay.

astrogirl said...

I can guarantee that ANY half attractive girl has male friends who would go there in an instant if reciprocated.

it's such a guy thing to harbor secret hopes of future hook ups, they can't help it they're wired that way,

MrWolf said...

I agree with astrogirl. I am harboring secret hopes of future hook ups with Miley. (Also with astrogirl.)

I can't help it! I'm wired that way.

hmmm said...

In any of the recent pap photos of Miley and whatshisname-the-fiance, he Does Not Look Happy. Is the engagement even real?

astrogirl said...

Why MrWolf, I haven't even sent in a reader pic yet.

lilo723 said...

Guys aren't just girls with a friend. In old news, Miley still looks like a chipmunk and I am still mad that Liam is engaged to her. He is way too hot for her.

Scott said...

He's gay.

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

Google "miley's gay friend." There are some interesting links and it seems it actually might be Miley w the unrequited love...

KPeony said...

The definition of cheating differs from couple to couple. I have been known to get dressed in front of some of my guy friends, both gay and straight. I have even shared beds. We are just close. My boyfriend never cared.

I've been on boththe sides of the unrequited love situation. It's fine as long as everything is out in the open and the receiving end is honest with feelings. It's no reason to end a friendship. Sometimes it makes it stronger.