Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Mom Drops Off Mentally Disabled Daughter At Bar - Faces No Charges


A woman from Illinois says she just could not handle her daughter anymore and didn't know what to do with her, so when the girl needed to use the bathroom while they were driving in Tennessee, the mom pulled over and let her daughter out and then drove away back to Illinois. The mom is refusing to take her daughter back, who is now 19. The teen was unable to tell police her name or her address. Close circuit cameras from across the street of the bar managed to get a license plate number of the mom's vehicle and eventually all the dots were connected. The mom left her daughter, who has a 30 word vocabulary with no money and no identification. However, because her daughter is over the age of 18, the mom didn't actually commit a crime. The daughter is in the custody of Adult Protective Services in Tennessee. What do you do if you are a parent? There is no excuse for dropping her off in another state with nothing to help her live. She managed to raise her for the first 19 years of her life, but probably thought it was not going to end. It probably was going to be a very long life, but your daughter had no one to take care of her. Just you. And you abandoned her? At a bar? In a different state? With no money or identification.

159 comments:

Amber said...

Wow. I think I post this every other day, but...I hate people.

Green Wave Gal said...

DISGUSTING!

camoon15 said...

@Amber-- what you said, exactly. Man people are horrible.

Basil said...

It's a long hard job taking care of a seriously disabled person, and no matter how much you may love them, you can also hate them too. I can see where the mother is coming from, but she really should have thought about it better. Talk to the family docotor or social services.

strawberrygirl said...

This girl could have been kidnapped, raped, and/or murdered. What is wrong with people? This is no different than leaving a three year old.

shag said...

So very sad. It breaks my heart.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I agree with Basil.

luckylass said...

I can't even imagine what it must be like to take care of a mental disabled child. Hell, I don't even want to take of a regular child.

I am embarrassed to admit that I don't know how this shit works. Can you just give up your kids at anytime to the state? I know you can give infants up. But what happens if you don't want them after birth? I am not saying it is ok, I am just curious.

goheels83 said...

That is heartbreaking. This poor girl is probably so confused and scared.

Although who knows - her situation at home might have been horrible.

KatD said...

That's really sad, but unless you've taken care of someone who's that severely retarded day after day, year after year, it's impossible to understand how that mother was at her wit's end. I'm not saying I agree with what she did, but I understand completely why she did it. I've cared for one severely mentally impaired person and can honestly say that it will drive you nuts. The mother of the 10-year-old patient I cared for left her child because she was ready to lose her mind. So, yeah, I get why this woman did what she did. It's easy to judge if you've never been in the same position.

violet said...

I agree this story breaks my heart for both sides. The daughter could have been serverly harmed, kidnapped or and taken advantage of. This was absolutely NOT the right decision the mother made, it was negleftful and full of danger.
However this was obviosuly a decision made out of despair. Caring for a disabled person is a full time job, on top of life itself. NO argument the mother made a terrible decision - wish she was aware of service avail to help families like her and her daughter.

Amber said...

I see the point you guys are making, but I cannot justify it away by trying to empathize with the mom for how hard it is for her to take care of her daughter. Tennessee to Illinois is really freaking far. It's not like she just left her at the mall because she snapped and needed a break. This girl is beyond lucky some really messed up individuals didn't get ahold of her.

I AM going to judge this woman - poor decision-making is not a good excuse.

Roman Holiday said...

This is despicable and there is no excuse for it!!!

seaward said...

Wow. I can see why she did it, but there's gotta be a better way to take that burden off your shoulders. Sad.

Redheat said...

Tragic story anyway you look at it. However, there are resources out there that could have helped this woman. Many communities have group homes, and programs for mentally disabled adults.

There is just NO excuse for dropping this girl off in another state, in a freaking bar no less! No matter the mother's frustrations justified or not, this was still a human being who deserved a lot more from her mother.

Cathy said...

This is disgusting, but why did Enty have to put a picture of the daughter up? The mother is the one who deserves her face plastered all over the internet.

Melissa said...

KatD -- taking care of the disabled is physically and mentally taxing, no doubt. And she might have temporarily lost it. But she should have sought help from the state, charities, etc., before leaving her daughter in a dangerous and vulnerable position. Because it's understandable doesn't make it right.

Cindy said...

There are obvious humane choices she could have made -- calling social services is the first that comes to mind.

Vicki Cupper said...

I just can't believe she didn't commit a crime.

MadLyb said...

I understand the mom's frustration. It can't be easy to care for a disabled child, but to leave her without means, at a bar? Where any skeeze can pick her up and take her home? That's inexcusable. Poor kid. I hope she can find a home, perhaps with other mentally disabled adults.

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

Yeah, suuuuure we don't need social programs. Suuuuuure we don't. Total waste of taxpayer money. Uh-huh.

Let's just keep telling ourselves we give kids and disabled folks enough support and we don't need better social programs. Let's just believe this girl's mom abandoned her at a bar in another state because of allllll the support and help that kid and her family are getting. Let's just keep telling ourselves that social services are a waste of taxpayers' money. Yep. Let's do all of that.

This is vile.

yawnathon said...

Absolutely agree that this was the wrong way to handle it. Options are available to seek out, however, oftentimes waiting lists, etc. are in place because of the lack of resources. My niece is physically & mentally disabled and my sister-in-law and her husband are kind, hardworking and well-educated and I've seen them break down hardcore in the 8 years she's been alive. It doesn't just take a toll on immediate family either. I'm thinking this woman isn't very smart and didn't know she had other options. It happens a LOT more than we know about.

Amber said...

@ Vicki - I'm in the same boat as you. How is the daughter not classified as unable to care for herself & must be cared for by a guardian? You couldn't legally do this to a toddler, and with a vocabulary of only 30 words it's the same thing.

angel said...

That mother is just plain cold. If she was doing her job in the first place, she would have placed her daughter in a group home with others like her for companions, where she'd have a formalized set of continually evolving goal plans to teach her everyday skills, as well as securing employment for her in a sheltered workshop. There's no excuse for what she did, none.

crila16 said...

Wow...

BreeB714 said...

I CANT TELL if this is a picture of the mom or the disabled daughter..

Shay said...

That poor young lady. I thank God that no one harmed that girl while she was out there, in a bar no less, alone and unable to care for herself.

yawnathon said...

@ Cuckoo...ITA. It's always poor children, the disabled, and the elderly whose assistance programs and education (for the first two) get cut first. These three groups are the most helpless in society, and are the ones that go without.

timebob said...

Thank you to whoever was in the bar that took care of her and got her to the authorities and no harm came to her.

Of course she didn't have any i.d. her mom didn't want her traced back to her. If it wasn't for the license plate they never knew who she belonged to. She planned it out. But people are stupid.

This reminds me of the law where you could drop your kid off at a hospital no questions asked. The law didn't have an age and it was intended to protect small children. But people were dropping off their teenagers until they changed the law with an age limit. I doubt any of those parents care where those kids are now.

Hazeldazel said...

Such a sad story, I feel for both of them because facing an endless life of being a caregiver to an adult that cannot care for themselves is beyond difficult.

A similar case happened here where I live. A mom had a SEVERELY autistic child that aged out of the system and no longer had services to them and just had a 18 year old kid with nowhere to go with all the state budget cuts. After a year or so of taking care of him on her own, she couldn't face a lifetime of it and shot him and then herself.

FSP said...

Wow. I couldn't even drop my dog off at the pound. Suck it up lady.

Cathy said...

@Bree - That is the face of a 19 year old, not someone old enough to have a 19 year old daughter. I find it sickening that after all this girl has gone through, that it's her picture being posted. Post a picture of the mother for the world to see.

angel said...

^^^This

yodelay said...

I think the mother's intention WAS to have the daughter kidnapped, murdered, or otherwise harmed. I mean, why leave her at a bar, with people under the influence and not somewhere else, say a park or mall? Are there really no laws protecting the impaired? If she was that severely impaired, doesn't she collect Social Security? Maybe the "mom" wanted to collect the check, but not provide the care.

moondancekat said...

No words for this one...

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

@Cathy - I had not even thought about it, but you are 100% right.

Turkish Taffy said...

I had a disabled sister, and know how difficult it can be, no matter how much you love them. I think the blame here might fall on Social Services. So many budget cuts have been made, I wonder if the mother had access to the resources my mother had. Social workers, group homes, sheltered workshops: I think of lot of these things have been downsized.

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

@yodelay - You are spot-on, man. This is VILE.

SusanB said...

When I worked in pediatrics, I saw several mothers who were at the end of their ropes trying to care for a mentally or physically disabled child. Often there are other children to be cared for. And usually dad just disappears - why isn't he facing the same disapproval? And what would happen to this child if mom died? Just put her out on the street? I'm not very familiar with the services out there, but there is Medicaid, perhaps Social Security disability, churches, etc, who would do their best to help. I think it's really easy to criticize the mother, but yeah, I think she just snapped. Or perhaps she's not much smarter than the daughter. I'd have to know a lot more about this before I'd totally condemn the mother. But she does come off looking like a rotten bitch.

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

@TurkishTaffy - I'm going to blame the people who *want* social programs cut, not Social Services themselves.

califblondy said...

While this is a sad story, I had to laugh at what Luckylass posted...

Hell, I don't even want to take of a regular child.

CaliGirlinVA said...

Like others have stated, there are social services programs available for situations like this, but these programs are being slashed with the budget crises we are facing. There is no excuse for what she did, but like others, I understand the difficulties Mom had. She probably had no respite care available. We will only hear more of these stories

__-__=__ said...

It's past time to stop spending 69% of tax dollars on killing people.

angel said...

@Cuckoo, yes.. the same people who want to cut programs for helpless children like her rather than tax those who can easily afford it to help pay for their care.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

I don't think we should judge the mother.

yawnathon said...

@SusanB - yup. Where's this child's father? The MSNBC story gives a lot more details. It WAS planned but I doubt this woman put a lot of thought into leaving her at a bar. One news story says that she chose TN bc of it's health care system, and the town bc of its large concentration of Baptists - something her own church In IL told her. She does have other children to care for. And this happens a LOT with the parent(s) of aging disabled - services are cut and the disabled are left at hospitals, etc or killed bc they cannot deal with caring for them any longer without help. This instance is maddening and sad, but I pray that it starts a dialogue that enables change. We can't have a nation that ignores poor children, disabled, and elderly and keep being shocked at stories like this one.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

@timebob...that was in Nebraska. But they've since updated the law, (I'm not sure what age timeframe now) but yes I remember people were driving across country with their teens to drop them off.

Judge not, until you have one yourself. LordY...they can be a looks/life and dream killer =teens

Topper Madison said...

It's also very possible the mother is mentally disabled herself. Hard to make a judgement on the case just from this article.

Janet296 said...

Good lord! How about getting her on disability and placing her in long term care? There are other options than abandoning her.

Jesse D said...

Has anyone here tried to place a mentally disabled person in a group home or other program? Anyone have any idea how long the wait-list is? Any idea of the strain on a caretakers family or the personal toll it takes out of you every day to take care of someone that is totally dependent on you? This will keep happening as long as we aren't funding programs for mentally and physically disabled human beings. As long as we make funding wars and bailing banks out of holes our priority, kids will keep falling through the cracks. Maybe we need to walk in her shoes for a minute. Maybe mom was on her own and couldn't keep a job for fear her daughter would burn the house down while she's at work. THis woman had TWO disabled kids to take care of. Where's dad? Why is everyone so quick to lay blame with this mom? Leaving your disabled kid at a bar? Not the best idea. Do I understand why she did it? Absolutely. But I'm mad at the system that failed this family, rather than the desperate mother.

djphob said...

@cuckoo couldn't agree more.

figgy said...

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the first thing I thought of: maybe the mother herself is borderline mentally disabled? Maybe she's mentally ill? Maybe her own life is so difficult that she snapped and had a mental breakdown and couldn't process her thoughts normally?

I'm not even thinking about this in terms of "right" or "wrong". Having worked in social policy for many years, if I put value judgements on people's behavior I'd go nuts myself.

The fact is that a lot of people who are not mentally or emotionally equipped to do so are still fertile, and often have a LOT of kids they can't handle. And dads skip out all the time.

Frankly, I'm surprised more mothers don't just lose it. I have no children and stand in awe of parents who do hold it together under trying circumstances which, amazingly, is most of them.

rareavis said...

Was this a solution, no. My heart goes out to the daughter.
live in Massachusetts and fortunate to have many social programs available to us. I wish she was dropped off here instead.

figgy said...

...and what @Jesse D said.

djphob said...

@angel I agree IF group homes were reliable. Abuse is often rampant. Not that a bar is better but I can see how a GH would not have seemed like a good option.

angel said...

@Jessie, I worked as a coordinator in just that capacity, and you have a point. That's why I said if she was doing her job in the first place, this need not have happened. 19 is grossly late to begin planning for a disabled child's future.

yawnathon said...

THANK YOU for this, Jesse D. Thank. You.

amh.producer said...

My dad was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease at age 30 and we were hard pressed to find a long-term care facility that would take him because he wasn't mentally disabled nor was he a senior citizen. I see this with our juvenile HD patients as well. The lack of programs for those who need it (whether they can afford it or not) are SEVERELY lacking and the government agencies are little to no help.

I'm not defending the mother, at all, but Jesse D is spot on (above) about the state of options available to those who need the most help.

djphob said...

An elderly woman comes into my work often with her middle aged son with mental disabilities. What will happen to him when she dies? I'm sure she worries about this, too. A co-worker is mentally 12. Her mother is 82. I worry about this, too. I've already warned the Mister we may have housemates in the next decade. I do not trust group homes any more than that bar.

Redheat said...

@djphob I worked in a group home, the clients were well cared for and the staff had an affection for each one of them. Not saying that is always the case, but not all group homes are bad.

misspoppypants said...

@yodelay, that is exactly what I was thinking. Could have said the kid ran off, never reported her, etc., no problems anymore. All those miles away, at a bar? She knew her kid was easy prey.

angel said...

@Redheat, yes.. it's only the occasional bad eggs that get the publicity. Unfortunately people generalize and that's all they remember.

Ashlea said...

Thanks Jesse. The hate being thrown at this mom is ridiculous. Unless you've taken care of an extremely disabled person, you have absolutely no right to judge. The toll that daily, 24-7 care that it takes to manage a child like this is unbelievable. You're bathing, dressing, cleaning up messes, helping toilet or changing the diapers of a perpetual child in many cases. Of course u love the child but day after day after day, with no help, no financial support, etc...even the the most patient person will lose it.

Frufra said...

I swear, I try to be apolitical here, but this really steams me. I KNOW that it is a blanket statement, and that there are exceptions, but the group of folks who have, in recent history, found much success waving around the Bible, are the same group who have lead the charge to cut social services.

Read the Bible you love to hide behind - Matthew 25:40 comes to mind as a good starting place. "Whatever you do for the least of these, you have done for me. And what you have not done for the least of these, you have not done for me."

Sorry, I couldn't help it. This makes my blood boil. Back to your regularly scheduled gossip.

misspoppypants said...

@yodelay, that is exactly what I was thinking. Could have said the kid ran off, never reported her, etc., no problems anymore. All those miles away, at a bar? She knew her kid was easy prey.

minerpoteet said...

All the excuses for the mother notwithstanding, there are a list of places better than a bar she could have dropped this girl off at. A hospital, a church, a police station, hell she could have taken her to the mall and the risk would have been lower. I would have more sympathy for the mother had she at least thought of a lower risk place to dump her. A goddamn bar? Where drunk people doing stupid drunk people shit are.

Leah said...

Hi Everyone,
I have a 19 year old son who is intellectually and physically disabled, and Deaf. I can understand being exhausted and worn to a nubb taking care of a disabled child - because I've been there from time to time. But what this woman did to her daughter, Lynn, was flat out wrong.

For those that don't know, Lynn is eligible to stay in school until 21 (or 22, depending on her birthdate), and Lynn should have been in an extended school year program (ESY) or receiving care through a community services day program or workshop. Yes, these community programs have been cruelly cut, but there are ways to get your child help - and get that help paid for, if you are willing to fight for it. (FYI, Lynn probably received about $600/month from Social Security.) Frankly, if this womans had enough energy to drive Lynn to Tenn, she had enough energy to make a few phone calls to secure help for her daughter.

I am willing to answer questions here about caring for a disabled adult child. You can also friend me on Facebook (Leah Webster King) if you want to learn more about or need emotional support caring for a disabled adult child.

PS, my son Zach is doing as well as could be expected for someone who has his genetic syndrome, and leads the best life that he can. My friends call it "The fabulous life of Zach."

anita_mark said...

@Redheat, my dad is in a long-term care home (dementia) and the building is kind of old and tired but the staff are amazing, I couldn't ask for better.

That said, the wait to place my aging father with dementia was very long, I imagine it's much much longer (years) before a young adult could be placed in a home.

Reese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
djphob said...

@redheat you again? ;) my cousin does, too, and she's amazing. They're not all bad. But it is hard to judge. I think you all need to be paid more. My cousin does only slightly better than me (I'm a retail manager) and I'm under the poverty line. A lot of wonderful people but far too many scumbags. I'd be very wary if I had a loved one w disabilities, not bc there aren't good people but bc bad ones are rampant. A lot of times bc they lack commitment/training/empathy/patience. It's a hard-ass job that just should not ever be entry level.

angel said...

@Leah, well expressed and so true, bravo to you! Nothing is more noble than advocating for or caring for those who are disabled in some way imo :)

And I agree that the criticism of this woman is fully justified. She clearly just didn't care. Abandoning her at a bar of all places leaves nothing to argue in her defense.

djphob said...

@angel again agree 100%.

Lori said...

In reading more about the story, it seems like the mother thought that the bar was a restaurant. she was also very desperate to find care for her daughter because she has 2 children that are severely disabled and isnt receiving much aid. She kept getting rejected for more and she couldnt afford to care for her daughter. Apparently IL ranks 50th in the nation for spending on disabled persons and the waiting lists are thousands of people long. While what she did was terrible (in that her daughter was left frightened and alone), it really does seem that she was trying to act in her best interest.

figgy said...

I'll say it again: the mother may me nuts. Out of her mind. Mentally ill.

We just don't know. But if she IS mentally ill, then like it or not, she can't be held responsible for her actions.

(...or maybe she's just a horrible heartless bitch...we don't know...)

misspoppypants said...

How sad and disturbing that she has three severly disabled children...

Its just U said...

I have a brother and sister who both are severely mentally handicapped. My brother is worse than my sister and lives in full time care. My sister lives at home with my parents. My brother is 27 and my sister is 20.
My parents are in their 60's and are full time carer's, despite my dad having cancer.
There is not a single day that goes by that my dad doesn't proudly walk down the street holding my sister's hand, taking her to the park, swimming, clothes shopping (which she LOVES) etc. It is hard going for him because she cannot speak and wears adult diapers. I also know he wouldn't change a thing.
He is an amazing father and we all help out when we can. (There are 8 of us in total but we all have children of our own and don't live with my parents)
This story is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read. I am actually quite upset.
Sure, it is hard. Sure, there is no let up. Sure, you need help but THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A PARENT!!!
Sorry for the rant. This is an issue very close to my heart.

djphob said...

@Leah kudos to you. Really.

I hate to bring this up but since you asked for questions... Do you have arrangements should you have an untimely passing?

I mentioned above, I have a co-worker--friend, really--with an elderly mother. Her mother is much different than you. Her mother keeps her from having a social life--we can only get lunch or see a movie when her mom is out of town. If she texts me, her mother tells her she is bothering me. Basically, her mother has become dependent on HER.

She's in her 80s now, so we've got 20 yrs max. I don't know if shes planned ahead or not. She seems very much in denial.

God this is long! Perhaps we can email if you have a lot to say? I just worry bc her mother is opposed to friends and I'd rather she be with someone who cares should/when her mother passes. I'd love some perspective from you, although I can tell from your post you're leaps and bounds above this woman.

Redheat said...

I think the gist of this conversation is, that we fail to assist the most needy in this country. If the mother was unable to get any kind of assistance, then they system failed her, we failed her. I get so angry when I think about the most vulnerable in our society being abused, and mistreated, or unable to receive care because some nimrods in political suits can appease their base of nuts who think God is only interested in the unborn and gays marrying. UGH!

Ok, stepping off the soapbox.

Leah said...

Like others have said, if the mother really was desperate to leave Lynn in the care of others in Tenn., she could have taken her to the police or fire station, or a hospital. Hell, even a courthouse. Apparently, the mother lied to police (who tracked her down by her license plate recorded on video), saying she had made arrangements to leave Lynn with people meeting them at a Waffle House. The police and courts gave her the opporunity to take Lynn home with her, and she came and signed the papers to turn her over as a ward of Tenn state. I hope that Lynn gets the care she deserves in Tenn. The people of Caryville care about her now, and it would be great if someone there fostered Lynn in their home.

KZoeT said...

There's more to the story here: http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20120710/news/707109913/

Ultimately, the girl is in much better hands now. Hopefully she'll get the care and love she deserves, away from the woman who birthed her.

My heart goes out to that poor girl.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

I'm with Jessie D.

It's painfully obvious so many make judgments on things they no absolutely nothing about. Such as homes for this girl, help for the homeless, help for addicts, etc. It's easy to point a finger and say, "do this, " when you've never been there, walking in the persons shoes.

angel said...

@Lori, while I understand you wanting to believe the best about people because I do to, there's a couple of things that bother me about this.

It seems that no one is ever guilty of anything anymore, according to them, when they get caught with their pants down. She thought it was a restaurant, uh huh, and even if she did, if she CARED at all, she would have made sure that the last act she ever carried out on behalf of her daughter was something other than leaving her at a bar, so I call BS on her excuses.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

And I'm just curious....I wonder how many people here who are bashing the mother have walked by a person begging for change, as often, they too are mentally ill.

Just wondering. Do you stop and talk to them, give them money, or do you say, get a job, or I'm not giving you money to spend on beer, etc.

Like Bob Marley sang "before you point your finger, make sure your hands are clean."

katsm0711 said...

She didn't even get the poor girl braces. I don't care who attacks me but this is why I am pro choice. Children should be born out of love, not accidents and obviously this mom couldn't handle a child. Mentally disabled or not, if a child is born out of love the parentS will care and love for it no matter what. How about more people adopting? Who needs public assistance for 3 mentally disabled kids? What happened to family planning with your partner and not having more kids than you can handle? Her not having braces shows me that she wasn't cared for. I was an elderly caretaker. When my severely disabled patient laughed I wouldn't charge her daughter for that day bc it was so special. I love the stories up above of loved disabled family members. We can handle more than we think, and it's the events like being given a disable child that we see how strong we really are, and I swear it's the only way to see how good the world truly is. You just have to take the opportunity and run with it. But don't overdo it. Don't have 5 more kids when you can barely handle 2!

DueDiligence said...

While this is certainly disgusting and ought to be a crime, it could have been much worse.

Children and the mentally challenged suffer much worse fates pretty much on a daily basis. (e.g. Caylee Anthony).

Thank God she didn't go that route. This woman will likely need to be institutionalized, but at least she will now have that chance.

Leah said...

@djphob, I'm sorry about the situation with your friend, and I applaud you for continuing to try to spend some time with her.

About legal arrangements -- thanks for asking. :-) After Zach turned 18, my husband and I petitioned the court, and were appointed Zach's guardians, so that we were the ones legally responsible to take care of his legal, financial, and other needs. (We didn't want the state or anyone else making those decisions for Zach.) We know who Zach will live with after we become too ill or die, and we are in the process of legalizing those arrangements and creating a legal trust to care for Zach's future financial needs.

Redheat said...

You know what really breaks my heart, is no matter how mentally disabled this girl is, she knows her mother. She will understand that she is no longer there, and she will understand that she was abandoned, what she will never understand is why.

SusanB said...

Best wishes to Leah- you sound like you're traveling your rough path with grace and love.

djphob said...

@Leah glad to hear it! No one wants tp think about their own demise but I'm so, so glad you have it worked out.

angel said...

@OMAMA is BROKO, I do and I know a lot of other people do too, or else how would those people survive. I understand the point you're trying to make, but think that insinuating none of us are any more caring than this mother is a bit unfair.

Leah said...

@RedHeat - it breaks my heart too, thinking that she misses her mommy and is waiting for mommy to come back for her. Ugh.

@ Susan B, @djphob, and @angel - thanks. I'm not a saint, just trying to do my best for Zach.

tara17 said...

I'm sorry for this horrid statement. It is my personal belief that highly mentally deficient people should not be born. The mother did something terrible, but who can relate to the enormous daily burden of caring for a vegetative human for over 19 years. I'm amazed at the comments signaling disgust and surprise that the mother lost her marbles one day after all those years of thankless and completely useless devotion.

anita_mark said...

@Kats, orthodontic work is incredibly expensive.

As for children shouldn't be born as accidents, how many people on this board weren't "planned?" I wasn't, my brother was. Never doubted my parents loved both of us equally.

Del Riser said...

This is so sad all the way around.
It grieves me deeply that we are such a broken society. Our families breaking down, the systems put in place to help, broken down, the common sense of our leaders broken down.
There is enough blame and heartache in this situation to just make you sit down and bawl.

Leah said...

@Tara17, I am sorry for your horrid statement, too. Keep in mind that if you aren't disabled now, you will be at some point in your life. I hope that someone who loves you will be willing to care for you, instead of euthanizing you.

angel said...

@tara17, no judgement, but I beg you to think things through a bit more now that I'm informing you that Hitler shared your philosophy and did enormous damage as a result. Forced sterilization in Germany was the forerunner of the systematic killing of the mentally ill and the handicapped under his regime.

Land Manatee said...

I say we should start a campaign for this young lady on Indiegogo.com just like the one started for the elderly bus driver that was verbally attacked and raised over $650k.

katsm0711 said...

@redheat I think it's better if she doesn't understand why she was abandoned. I always think that if she has a measly 30 word vocabulary, her brain must be extremely focused on another function, if only we could figure out what it is and allow her to show her brilliance. I'm positive it's something. Even if it's something we don't discover for another 100 years, there's something there.

@tara, I almost agree but I feel strongly that you are missing out on some of the most wonderful people. I also feel that parents have to only have the kids they can love and care for properly. Unfortunately not enough people adopt and America puts people like the selfish Duggars on tv.

Land Manatee said...

Sorry...she was a bus monitor by the name of Karen. Her link is here:

http://www.indiegogo.com/loveforkarenhklein

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

I'm buyin' @Frufra the beverage of their choice.

Redheat said...

@katsm0711- One thing I learned working in a group home, is that even the most mentally disabled has something to offer.

I have read what seems like contradictory reporting on this story. Not sure we will ever know the full story, but at this point, we can only hope that this child gets somewhere that will involved caring, love and acceptance for who she is.

djphob said...

@Leah give yourself some credit :) your best is better than many. You deserve our praise.

Redheat said...

For my final statement, I'd like to say that any mother, father, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, and or friend who takes care of a disabled child is truly a special breed of person who possess great courage and strength.

Frufra said...

@Cuckoo - aww, shucks, thanks. As luck would have it, I'm headed out to the liquor store right now. Shall I message you the address? :-)

And Leah, people like you renew my faith in humanity. I have several close friends who are in the same situation with their children, albeit closer to the beginning of their journey. Their boys are still in elementary school. They face trials that I don't, but I know the love of their children make those trials worthwhile. That's what we're all in it for - that smile that melts your heart, even after 52 trips to the potty, two temper tantrums, and a spilled drink.

My youngest was born gravely ill and not expected to live. We won the lottery, because he's wonderfully healthy now. But those first days and weeks crystallized to us what parenting is all about. You take the child you're given, with his abilities and limitations, and rejoice in every day and every small accomplishment. We have to get over our selfish, preconceived notions of what our child will be, and celebrate the person he is.

Frufra said...

Leah, I just realized something - our boys share a name :-).

When our guy was born, as I said before, he was gravely ill, and had to be transferred to children's hospital immediately. We thought he was a girl, so we had no boy name picked. We couldn't bear the thought of him going in that ambulance alone, without even a name.

We one of those moments, where we both just KNEW it had to be Zachary. We thought Zach was a happy kid running around playing soccer. And it ended up working out pretty well. No soccer, but lots of happy.

Della said...

This is why we have social services. What a LOSER!

Erin said...

@LandManatee - I was totally going to say the same thing!!! Is one started yet? Enty, will you post a link if we can't find it? If we can raise that much for Karen's vacation/retirement, we should be able to give this girl a good life without her mother. Of course, once the girl got money, I'm sure the mom will come back just to cash in.

anongkhla said...

Cuckoo Armadillo, Jessie D, I'm in totally agreement here. As funding for social services continues to get slashed, I'm afraid we'll see more stories like this in the not-so-distant future. And they were never exactly over-funded to begin with.

And every story we do hear about, rest assured there are countless people falling through the cracks that will never be featured on CDAN or MSNBC.

libby said...

Normally, mentioning the Nazis would be hyperbolic, but suddenly it's cogent on a gossip thread...

I saw a fascinating Nazi film called (I believe) "Einsam Ohne Leben" ("Existence without Life"). I'll bet the video's on the internet; I saw it on a late-night educational show about the Nazis within the last decade.

Anyway, the film was pro- euthanization of the mentally & intellectually disabled. It showed an actual murder of a severely disabled teen, in a crisp surgical setting. Absolutely chilling. I had to look away; I couldn't watch, knowing that i.v. was being used to actually murder a person on film. As a DEMONSTRATIONAL THING.

The film featured a classroom full of gorgeous fair German teens being joyfully convinced, by the end of this lecture, that anyone who has 'existence without life' SHOULD indeed be euthanized.
The film was full of clips of only the SCARIEST-looking disabled people. Only the very worst, ugliest kids were shown. Such a high-quality film about mass murder, it's really unbelievable. I need to google it.

Anyway, I am 100% pro-choice, and (perhaps controversially) believe that every person who collects any type of welfare for children, should be offered FREE Birth Control AND sex education (like PP does). Offered only, not required, obviously.

MANY uneducated (usually also the poorest) women either don't understand their bodies, sell their bodies to eat, etc...and many married women (of all social classes, btw) don't have a choice if or when they have sex.

Paying for BC for the very very poor does THEM a service THEY WANT but can't afford, and SOCIETY a service, at a very low cost. There is NO worse feeling, more unshakeable, than being an unwanted child. BC helps prevent any child being born into that life. Neglect, hunger, abuse---less of that makes a better world to live in for everyone who's already here.

Once those kids ARE here though, no matter how disabled, they are our responsibility as a moral society. As was mentioned, Jesus & 'the least of us', and all that.

Lynn is a beautiful young woman, and I hope wherever she ends up, she is warm, fed, loved, and happy. It's easy, but DISGUSTING, to 'Monday-Morning Quarterback' a person's very LIFE---who didn't CHOOSE to be born or to be disabled. She's here, and she deserves everything any of us do.

As a (currently/temporarily) disabled person with a mental illness and brain disorder that tortures me, I don't wish to find myself next on the list to have strangers question whether I should have been born, KWIM?


Jebus. Thanks for reading, if you did. While I am not intellectually disabled, this story really hits home. Thanks ladies.

thetruth said...

Shocking. But perhaps the mother was not in her right mind. How do we know she wasnt mentally ill? Caring is the hardest jOb there is. Some people snap.

Henriette said...

I think when you become a parent, you got to realized it's not a role you can just take on and off. Yes, I'm sure the mother was probably just at her wit's end, but there are resources for people like this.

I run into so many people who do not reach out for help. They shoulder the burden without ever reaching out. I hope this story is used as example of why services for the highly disabled are needed.

Frufra said...

libby, you are so intelligent and articulate, thank you. I also totally agree with everything you said, so perhaps that makes me like you even more :-).

I am also holding a kind thought for you as you struggle. I've been there, and while I'm stable now, I know it will be a lifelong balancing act. Know you are not alone, lady.

amh.producer said...

XOXO to all of you strong women!

HolidayinCambodia said...

I have a mentally disabled sister who is now 52. I completely understand the impulse to just leave her at a rest stop or some other random place, and I only see her a few times a year, because she doesn't feel like changing her routine for visits, especially now that my kids are older. I feel really sorry for the obviously overwhelmed mother. The daughter will probably be okay.

chopchop said...

Libby, that was a great post. Thank you.

angel said...

libby, very enlightening and moving comment. Thank you for sharing :)

sussique said...

the least the mom could have done was pimp out her daughter and made some money and got her teeth fixed. just sayin.

LouLou06 said...

What a disgrace! I know I don't know the ins & outs but, god love that poor daughter x

Gilbert Neal said...

Libby's post is about Eugenics. An American idea which festered in Hitler's mind while he was in prison. The film "The Black Stork" deals with killing a deformed child. 1917 I think.

__-__=__ said...

What about her other two children? Things can't be good for them right now. Are social services going to help them? Shouldn't they be removed from the home?

Cuckoo Armadillo said...

Aaaand @sussique jokes about raping a disabled girl. Keep it klassy, jerk.

violet said...

Just a quick comment - for those intersted in starting adonation page for this lovely for this lovely daughter. I am not 100% sure of this but I think in order to receive and qualify for care and funding from the state you cannot have any assets in that disabeld person's name. I could be wrong but I think its worth looking into. If enough money is raised it coudl provide her better care then anythignthe state could ever provide but we keep in mind we do not know all of her ailments or the terms of care she will need. Just a little food for thought - and again I could be wrong.

libby said...

Wow, thanks Frufra, chopchop, & angel. I rarely come back when a thread upsets me. But that one comment that reminded me of the Nazi film really put me out.

I came back to CORRECT my horrific error, though.
The film--It was called "Dasein ohne Leben". My German is very long ago and un-practiced. I found the video on YouTube, not sure if it's the whole thing yet. Other than the execution, I would recommend anyone watch that film, to fully witness what it really means when society starts deciding that some people are lesser & evil, or are more deserving to live than others.
Remember, Germany's problems began with a ginormous financial crisis. People got desperate and began to cannibalize each other (all but the eating part, KWIM?). Don't think it can't happen here.

Again, thanks for the niceness.

Tr├ębuchet said...

I'd like to think I'd never do this; 19 yrs is a long time though, and stress does funny things to people. At least the girl was found and is w Adult Prot. Svcs. Maybe the mom will get her shit together and figure out a way to go see her. Because that's probably one of the few people the daughter knows and trusts. Even now.

Alicia said...

+1000

angel said...

"Don't think it can't happen here."

Just recently, can't recall on what show now, a guest was asked how long it takes for people to turn into animals in a case of extreme deprivation, and he said anywhere from 3 days to a week, max.

car54 said...

This just makes me very sad. For both sides. The mother had to have been at the end of her rope to have done this, and that poor girl--to be abandoned like that.

I hope some kind of system help steps in and that they both are in a better situation soon. Very sad situation all around.

libby said...

Gilbert--I usually don't use the term 'eugenics', because that word, IME, confuses people into thinking it's credible science.

Thanks for the tip about Black Stork. I took German from 13 through college, but always avoided reading "Mein Kampf" on purpose. I was always way too angry at him, from the history classes, to give him that much of my time & effort.

City Councilman Doug said...

Apologizing for this putrid woman? Really? For the record, I am the mother of a disabled child. There is no excuse for this. There are state agencies to help. It is the responsibility of the PARENT to get the child on these waiting lists that will provide adult care. And I'm in Texas for godsakes, a state not known to care very well for it's own. But I manage very well, provided I am willing to jump through flaming hoops to secure this care. I do. And any mother who doesn't should be ashamed. Disgusting.

alliwholovessomuch said...

This is so sad, as a carer to my 8 year old son this affects me on all levels, sure I understand why she did it, doesn't mean I could, but I totally get it, then I think from the daughters p.o.v, I think of my son, no I just couldn't, obviously we don't know what this mother is really like, I prefer to believe that after 19 years of love and care she couldn't handle it anymore, if u haven't been in her shoes plz don't judge her cause none of us really know what they would do, this seriously breaks my heart but u know what the daughter is probably better off. I too don't understand how this isn't a crime, my post sounds schizo but that's cause I need sleep lol oh yes I just wanted to also say it's a fact here in Australia that female carers mostly do not take care of their own health so all this turmoil of caring for disabled kids may have been hidden and triggered a mental illness, or the extreme solution that resulted,

Land Manatee said...

@Erin - I agree!

@violet - You are probably right.

I just felt compelled to suggest the idea based on the great and generous outpouring of our society in Karen's case. Especially considering she has no money.

I have too many projects right now to start a page for her (but I always make a quick minute for my CDAN fix!!), but I hope someone will take the initiative. I was just thinking that if 100,00 people donated $1 each, she would be better off obviously than where she is now, which is $0. But @violet's points have to be looked into & considered. Just a sad story all around.

Redd Penny said...

There is also a 17 year old boy and a 16 year old girl at home. From this article, the mother does seem to have issues of her own separate from caring for Lynn.

http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20120710/news/707109913/

Speaking via cellphone Tuesday afternoon, Eva Cameron struggled to explain why she left her disabled daughter alone in Tennessee. She was on her way back to Algonquin, she said.

“It's been emotional what's going on,” she said. “This turned into an unnecessary hoopla.”

Eva Cameron said she thought the bar was a restaurant, and stopped there so Lynn could go to the bathroom. She then drove back to Illinois, where she had to care for her other daughter, she said. “(Lynn) wasn't really missing. We knew where she was,” Cameron said.

Eva Cameron said that last year she tried to get Lynn to be a ward of the state of Illinois. Someone told her that Tennessee has great care for people with special needs, so she decided to find placement for Lynn there, she said.

Having Lynn in a facility in Tennessee is exactly what she wanted, Cameron said. “The situation had the best outcome,” she said. “It took 5 minutes for her to get (into a placement) in Tennessee; it took 10 years for her not to get one in Illinois.”

Eva Cameron's son, Scott, 17, said he doesn't believe his mother left his older sister alone in a bar. “She's a loving, caring mom. She wouldn't do anything like that,” he said. Eva Cameron also has a 16-year-old daughter.

Neighbor Bronwyn Hurley said Eva Cameron in the past tried to find a placement for Lynn, whose behavior had become difficult to manage.

“I can't imagine what drove her to leave Lynn (in Tennessee), but I do think that desperate people do desperate things,” Hurley said.

Court records show that Eva Cameron filed orders of protection in June 2011 against seven people, at least six of them employed by Community Unit District 300, but all were denied by a judge the same day. In her court filings, Eva Cameron alleges that staffers called her “delusional,” harassed her and her children, lied to the Department of Children and Family Services, and used “reverse psychology” on one of her children. She also alleges she was the victim of a racial slur when someone said, “Mrs. Cameron, you look very European today.”

KPeony said...

I can't be mad at the mother, as much as I want to be. She has two other disabled kids at home. She's probably better off in the care of strangers in a different state than with the mother. I can't judge when I don't have all the facts.

Side note: others will just drag you through hell. Just because she only knows 30 words doesn't mean she doesn't have the attitude of a 19 year old girl. Maybe she hated her mom? Maybe she wanted to go off and do her own thing? None of us will ever know. I refuse to treat people with disabilities any different than any other person.

Sorry if I upset anyone. I don't want anyone to take anything personally, just offering a different POV. Everyone in this post had such amazing things to say, even if we don't all agree.

KPeony said...

EDIT: my post doesnt make any sense. it should say:

Mentally disabled people are just like everyone else; some with melt your heart and teach you the meaning of love and life, and others will just drag you through hell. Just because she only knows 30 words doesn't mean she doesn't have the attitude of a 19 year old girl. Maybe she hated her mom? Maybe she wanted to go off and do her own thing? None of us will ever know. I refuse to treat people with disabilities any different than any other person.

Basil said...

@Kpeony, you aren't upsetting me at least This whole situation is terrible to hear about and people's first instinct is to blame the mother. But it's a hard job raising a kid with difficulties like that. And maybe much worse if the individual involved is violent. Yes, people who have disablities can get violent. Very violent at times. The more I read about this, the more I can see that this mother maybe felt like she had very little choice. I would love to think that I am a better person and could handle a stituation like that better, but I would be lying. I couldn't handle it.

A few years ago, in Canada, an elderly couple with a grown son who was severly handicapped like this, and they killed themselves and him. I doubt that was a spur of the moment decision.

yodelay said...

Sorry, still don't think the mom is on the up-n-up. I absolutely agree being the sole caretaker of a disabled person is tiring, soul draining work. If she had driven her to another state & dropped her off at a church or hospital, yes, I would absolutely defend her. But, she left her at a bar where, as someone mentioned, there are drunks doing drunk shit.

angel said...

She's trivializing and rationalizing her actions which really pisses me off:

“This turned into an unnecessary hoopla.”

“(Lynn) wasn't really missing. We knew where she was"

What? How dare she. Yeah, you left her at a bar with no identification, no money, and no vocabulary - in short, defenseless. She has proven in spades that she cannot be trusted with children. I'm sure Social Services is discussing removing the children she still has at home because they will share responsibility for what happens to them now that her character is a matter of public record.

1Jazzimom said...

How very sad. The budget cuts for these services and homes has severe impacts. I can't imagine leaving my daughter out of state with no money etc. and she is a fully functioning adult. Heartbreaking!

Me said...

if this was what the mom thought was her best option, you have to believe that there weren't any good choices. where is dad? where is grandma, sister, brother,grandpa, cousin, etc. where is social services to provode assistance to mommy who is taking care of a 19 year old baby? can she do it anymore emotionally, financially, time wise? at 19 you probably finished any school the state would offer, so its all mommy, all he time. when would she work, sleep, care for other children?

the fact that it isn't a crime tells you how much attention this state pays to the disabled.

Anne Horrocks said...

Until you walk in another's shoes...

angel said...

That's a two way street Anne. I'm putting my feet in the daughter's shoes because she is the priority here, and it's disturbing to an extreme.

@Me, Public Law 94-142 (Education of All Handicapped Children Act) federally mandates that states must develop and implement policies that assure a free appropriate public education to all children with disabilities up until the age of 21.

AlexT said...

My sister is disabled, although not nearly that profoundly. My parents are her guardians, but she's able to work and her paychecks are saved for her eventual care after my parents pass. On the one hand, I can understand why she would do it. 10 years on a waiting list with no end in sight, and worsening behavioral issues? It's pretty pathetic when you have to resort to something so drastic. Still, it's inhumane to drop a dog off at the side of the road without so much as a faretheewell. But your disabled kid?! She couldn't even pin a note to her shirt saying who she was and that she was disabled? That seems very heartless. But, a guy just killed his 3 girls in River Falls, Wisconsin, for seemingly no reason. So, it's not like these Parents of the Year are that rare.

Mod7 said...

I 100% agree

Mod7 said...

I 100% agree

Ice Angel said...

Just a note: I know of no conservatives trying to cut funding for those such as this poor girl who is in dire need. In my opinion, if we'd worry less about funding people who don't care to work and those who aren't even citizens of this country we'd have a lot better services for those truly in need.

And the normal churchgoers I know happily give to very good causes and there are a lot more available options out there than abandoning a mentally challenged person in the middle of nowhere!! Can you imagine how scared she was???

I have a severely handicapped cousin who needs constant care and is in a home. Her family is very supportive and she has been lucky enough to have them to help manage all of her Medicaid, etc...

The reason people want cuts is because too many unworthy people getting handouts are taxing the system making it more and more difficult to care for our citizens in most dire need.

And don't get me started on politicians. I'm not a fan of any of them.

Kristin said...

This is so sad and this hurts my heart. Hopefully they can help the girl and place her in a home that will be able to help her.

tracib_1981 said...

So this is my first post but I read every day! I was curious. What if it is a parent you are dealing wi severe mental illness with? My dad is paranoid schizo and is currently non compliant with his meds. I understand the breaking point. From a kids prospective at least. And I am 30 !!!

lisap515 said...

@Violet is correct. In Texas at least, funds would put her over "economic resource" and/or "above poverty level" which would not allow social programs to provide or purchase services for her. Then again, a huge amount could set up a trust for her and private pay/care. In theory. No idea how that would work in practice.

lisap515 said...

@Ice Angel - I agree re: illegal’s. I'm sorry their country sucks, but come here legally, file the paperwork, follow the laws of the land, pay taxes, etc. If you are here and are "undocumented" why do you have RIGHTS to anything, much less FREE medical care, etc. I don't get it and I'm sure I'll get blasted for that but COME ON. Try doing that in another country - show up illegally and DEMAND interpreters, free healthcare, aid, etc. Allowing this to happen doesn't make America great or better or more compassionate, it makes us STUPID and BROKE. And the actual citizens who "work" the system and make welfare a lifestyle instead of the temporary help it was designed to be are criminals as well IMO. And I'm so sick of all politicians. They all lie and most are wealthy, and get more so the longer they serve/are elected, and yet they have no idea how the "normal" people live while they dictate what is best for us as a whole. Sorry for the rant(s)!

Cornbread said...

Didn't take time to read all the comments, so someone may have already touched on this, but for people who are financially strapped, the group homes run by the state or county are really the only option. And, unfortunately, there are waiting lists and red tape for them. We have a huge epidemic of homeless mentally disabled adults, because of that.

The mom should have been working with an agency to get her daughter the care she not only needs, but deserves, because she's still a living, breathing, loving human being.

Lori said...

Illegal aliens contribute much more than they take. Seriously...you should educate yourself rather than spead hyperbole and political talking points. They pay into medicare and social security, pay sales and payroll taxes and contribute to the economy by purchasing goods and services and keeping price points low for american consumers. Contrary to popular belief, they cannot get food stamps or public assistance.

Mango said...

I'm sure they are posting a photo of the daughter rather than the mother because the daughter has such a sweet face.

Contrary to popular belief, they cannot get food stamps or public assistance.

@lori - I could be wrong, but I think if they have children here, they qualify.

Also, I used to in HR at a large resort hotel. Our director of Housekeeping was Mexican and she wanted to hire all Mexican and Guatemalan workers. Okay, fine. Some would come in with obviously fake social security cards, printed on ink jet printers with off colors and some of the ID laminated cards they had were very good but crooked. I was ordered to look the other way and told that because I took photo copies of the ID's that if/when my files were audited the irregularities wouldn't show. I went to the HR Director who was ordered by the GM to do what the Housekeeping Director said (they were rumored to be screwing). Fiiiiine. Then one day a girl came in with a SS card with the numbers, I kid you not, 123-45-6789. I was thrilled to call the Housekeeping dragon and tell her, "I can't hire her! Her card is too obviously FAKE."

Next day the girl came back with a brand new SS card with different numbers.

My point is most, not all, of them had falsified documents.

/end of digression

lisap515 said...

Health and Human Services for 20 years - the children they have while here allow them to get food stamps, WIC, Mediciad for the child. Even undocumented children have access to programs for surgeries etc because they are in school and if have "special needs", yes ma'am they do indeed receive services. Computers, iPads, printers, you name it we have bought it. Legally blind and receiving VI services through school or ECI - we sure do buy them whatever they need. Several organizations like Knights Templar had to finally cut if off and now they no longer provide surgery funds to undocumented non working persons. Their funds were being depleted by people coming for free medical help and then going back to their home country. At least in my state.

Ice Angel said...

No-I am sorry, but undocumented workers do NOT contribute more than they take!

But my point is this. You are having a block party. Everyone contributes something to the party. They bring food, beer, soda, ice, maybe even kick in for a DJ. Everyone is having a blast.

A few people from the next block over hear the noise and decide to crash the party. They each kick in $5.00, but really didn't do any of the work to set up the party. Plus, you then have to divide up the money amonst 50 different families, so forget it. Keep your money and have fun, right?

But then these neighbors text some of their friends to stop by because there is a great party going on and they show up with some of their friends. Again, no one bothers to say anything, as they are having too much fun and don't want to cause a scene or sound cruel. So the extra people stay.

That goes on for a while until all of a sudden, there's no more food, no more beer and it's only 9:00!!!

At what point did you let your party get out of hand? I mean, everyone was just trying to be nice, but ultimately, the whole party was ruined.

This country is our party. Our ancestors worked for, fought for and died for it. We invited everyone to come and help out and be Americans. But there are rules to coming to our party. You are expected to do so in a proper way and not show up unannounced by hopping a fence in the middle of the night. And while we certainly have our share of undocumented aliens from all over the world, the vast majority are from Mexico.

So at what point do we say something. At what point do we stop trying to be nice and not hurt anyone's feelings? The party will be over by that time.

lisap515 said...

*Medicaid.

Ugh typos.

Sadie said...

I feel for this woman. I really do. I have a son with special needs that I've raised by myself for the last 20 yrs. Its VERY trying doing it alone.

Those of you that do not know what its like taking care of a challenged individual, alone, for years, have no idea what your talking about. You have no basis to make any opinion(s) or judgements.

Those of you that say she should have used the "system" hah! The system is only there for the most severe cases in any emergent situation. In all other situations you get put on a list, a very long long list.

I placed my son on a list for assisted living at 4 years of age. He will be 20 in September. He is currently 546 on that list. Unless a miracle occurs he will most likely live with me for the rest of his life.

In the meantime, because he is attached to my hip during those hours I am not working, I have no social life. NONE - because I have no one to take care of him so that I can have one.

Try living your life with NO social life. Thats right. No going out with friends for a movie or coffee or even a drink. No going out other than to a dr appointment, to work your job or to shop for necessities. That is my life. Most likely it was hers too.

Do I agree with the choice she made? No. Do I understand? HELL YES

misspoppypants said...

@Lori, I dont think you mean 'illegal aliens.' IA's do not have social security numbers, they are off the grid, it is illegal to hire them so they must be paid under the table and therefore they are not contributing to medicare or social security--they are undocumented. Immigrants with green cards or applications for such are not considered illegals and they do contribute. Illegal aliens are, however, willing to do the work American's are not--just look at what Alabama has done to itself in the agricultural industry.

misspoppypants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AlexT said...

Technically, there's nothing different between what an illegal alien does when they come to this country, and what this woman did when she drove to Tennessee. She wasn't contributing to the state 's economy before she abandoned her kid to allegedly bogart their social services.

So, where do you draw the line? Illegals do contribute because those that work "regular" jobs DO have taxes taken out of their checks like everyone else. In MN, buses of seniors go to Canada for the cheap meds. How is that not taking advantage of another country's social services? I just don't think that most people are in a place to throw stones; if they were in a situation of dire disadvantage, I doubt they'd just sit there and accept it without trying any which way to improve it. At a certain level, it's about survival, not sportsmanship.