Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Tom Cruise's Private Pain? - Kneepads Does It Again


Kneepads put Tom Cruise on their cover this week and pulled out their extra big kneepads for the story. I don't know how many favors Tom's people had to call in, but I guarantee you that if John Travolta ever decides to come out, Kneepads has been promised that cover. They are going to get some huge payback for basically telling the world that Tom is the victim here. This just shows you that they will publish anything a publicist tells them to publish. You cannot look at that cover and think to yourself it is in any way objective. It's not. The sad thing is, if they did some actual reporting they could make a big difference in the lives of people who only get their gossip through Kneepads and are pretty sure that Tom & John Travolta are sexy leading men who are so straight that it hurts their spine to be that straight and that Scientology is a wonderful support group.


Tom did see Suri yesterday. That makes 1 visit.

156 comments:

Henriette said...

One and only visit.

RenoBlondee said...

That's a hiliarous cover. It's hard to believe I used to eat up these magazines and believe them years ago. It's weird listening to my mom and sister believe all that stuff, but you can't tell them anything. They won't believe me, so I keep my mouth shut now.
Glad to have you all!

sweetstarshine1 said...

I AGREE RENOBLONDEE. People magazine makes me sick nowadays because of the fakeness inside!

cbb said...

ooh, looking forward to updates on how many times he sees her! really!

(and JT coming out!)

cheesegrater15 said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *inhale* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Cathy said...

I do believe he's shattered about losing Suri, but I think it's less about a dad losing his daughter and more about losing a future scientology leader.

cbb said...

I'm sure you guys saw this gallery but if not, it's worth looking back at tom and nicole... if only for tom dressed in a blue velvet suit.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/nicole-kidman-and-tom-cruises-hollywood-romance-2012186/23233

so much matching (controlling!)

Beth said...

Tom needs a new surgeon. He looks like he's morphing into manorexic Ben Stiller.

a non a miss said...

Kneepads? More like xenupads

CantHaveMyPurse said...

He's more worried about what Miscavidge is going to do to him as punishment for losing to Katie and blowing up Co$ in the public eye.

Cassiopeia said...

Poor Tom. I had no idea how much he was hurting. He must be truly devastated. I can't believe what a crafty bitch Katie is.
But Kneepads says so, so it's true.

Agent**It said...

@ rejectedcarebear , LOL.

" xenupads "

cheesegrater15 said...

I always thought Xenu was their version of Satan.

Agent**It said...

We need a new name for Mr. Cruise?

A CDAN reader previously posted that 'Tammy Cruise' needs to be replaced (sorry, don't remember who it was). I stink at this part buy you guys are sooooo creative ..........

Sunny said...

*church lady voice*
SATAN???

Shocky said...

Can't read 'Xenu' without Olivia Newton-John leaping into my head singing Xanadu

Sunny said...

Oh no! That was to Vicki's comment - not Agent **it!!!

seaward said...

@Vicki yep, Xenu is satan. I don't think anyone else on this blog has realized that yet. Hubbard is their god, Xenu is the devil.

Agent**It said...

Sunny- hahaha , Church Lady kind of works .

cheesegrater15 said...

Seaward, that's what I thought.


PRAISE XENU!

MISCH said...

Just his ego is broken...

Frufra said...

Sunny - you made me laugh! Good morning, Sunshine :-)!

I've been meaning to tell you - whenever I put on my workout clothes (really just shorts and tees), I think about your description of your entire family headed off to the gym in the '80's wearing leotards and headbands :-). Wasn't that just the worst? I blame Jane Fonda, or maybe Flashdance? My dance recital pics from that era are a sight, I know that much! Down to the sequined headband.

Cassiopeia said...

Haha...I do like "church lady" for a new name.

Shocky said...

@Agent other sites use Tom Thunb.

How about Tombelina or Cruise Control?

Agent**It said...

Kneepads is enty's satan.

Shocky said...

* Thumb

dia papaya said...

For the love of Xenu! We must pray for our son Tommy Girl in his hour of despair. Lets all join hands!

cheesegrater15 said...

How about Tom Thumbelina?

Agent**It said...

Oh Vicki, you make me laugh.

I am still thinking about your suggestion for Katie to take Suri to Roswell for Halloween.

dia papaya said...

Really Xenu is their devil? Interesting...

Now I REALLY want that T-shirt!

Henriette said...

Xenu is bad? I thought the Scienonuts wanted to be Xenu, since they are aliens and all.

Frufra said...

Nutty Flavor and I would prefer a name isn't feminized, like being female is an insult or slight, ya know?

(Nutty, I hope you don't mind me throwing your name in here.)

I'm behind Tom Thumb until further notice. Not because of his small stature, but because of his small character/hiding behind Scientology.

cbb said...

agree with Frufra about feminized name. like the cruise control suggestion!

Silly Girl said...

Crazy!

cheesegrater15 said...

I was thinking female because he's a little bitch.

>:)

dia papaya said...

Did anyone else see the pics of Tom and Suri for their reunion? Suri is clinging to him with such force. I feel really bad for her. Can't tell if Tombelina actually cares or just a photo op.

Silly Girl said...

OK, finally figured out how to post here. Can't even remember what I was going to say!

Frufra said...

I could live with Cruise Control.

seaward said...

It's been years since I read up on Scientology, so I prob don't have all the details right, but it was Xenu who made/is in charge of thetans. The thetans are the aliens inside all our bodies that Co$ audits out of your body.

Henriette said...

I thought NuttyFlavor was a Scientologist too.

cheesegrater15 said...

I got it!


Tommy's new name....




McGlib.

Frufra said...

Pretty sure it was Nutty and I ranting together on another thread. Lord knows my memory is all perimenopause - y and shit. But I think it was Nutty, and I've never thought she had $ciento-leanings. But help me out here, people!

Frufra said...

Good work, Vicki! I like it.

dia papaya said...

So it's Tom Thumb or Cruise Control? TT or CC.

Was hoping for something with more drama but my brain is on autopilot. Need coffee first

Sunny said...

@Frufa
Good morning! Your comment made me laugh - thanks! I think we were channeling Olivia Newton John from the Let's Get Physical video. I totally remember digging through my sister's box of terrycloth braided sweatbands for the perfect one to match my getup. Thankfully I saved my pink and white checkered leg warmers for school days. Duh. (I also remember throwing my silky Dove shorts on over said leotard. Gross!!!!!)
Wouldn't be hilarious if readers could submit their worst dance recital costumes? I wasn't in dance, but I have clear recollection of my friend Kara's sequined mini top hat (with a chin strap mind you) shimmied off to the side. Her troop jazzed it up to Jump (For My Love). Still love that song

dia papaya said...

Love it @Vicki!

McGlib.

Sunny said...

No one is going to beat McGlib. @Vicki -seriously, lady. SNL writer. Look into it

Frufra said...

OMG - I danced to Jump also in recital!! Good times - and I def had a sequined headband on then. I believe the leotard was black with a sequin rainbow running diagonally from my left shoulder! You must also know that I was an awkward 8th grader and I wore a size 14. Not a confidence-booster, that outfit :-).

Ok, looked back at my convo with Nutty this weekend (under the pic of Tom "kissing" his costar), and she suggested L. Ron Cruise. Whattya think?

auntliddy said...

Yes, dia, i did. And the more i see suri, the more i think there is something seriously wrong with her. She cant relate to ither kids. It looked to me like she was scared of that puppy. She clings to her blanket and stuffed elephant constantly. She never smiles, never enjoys doing any normal kid activities. She clings to her parents , practically wraps herself around them. She diesnt like the paps at all, yet katie parades her around for them all the time. I think ghis little girl may be a bit autistic. Doesnt like crowds, loud noises, cant relate to others. I have never seen a picture of her smiling! Thats idd, considering all the shits we've seen of her. It seems to me this little girl needs some time out of the spotlight, nice and quiet, so she can get centered. I think perhaps both parents are trying to turn her into something shes not capable of being. Anyone else nitice this? And im not being mean or gossipy, im thinking of suri.

Lighter side said...

The only reason Tom is shattered is because Katie beat him to the divorce and he didn't get to CONTROL everything.

Now him playing the victim THAT is really funny! Yeah, that big bad Katie is a real diva, don't ya know...I just don't know how the poor pathetic thing (Tom) endured it...(cybersarcasm!)

Cathy said...

@auntliddy - i don't think anyone should diagnose people they have never met with autism, especially when the only pictures you see of them are pap photos. Any normal kid WOULD look uncomfortable when they're being swarmed by crazy strangers, who are shouting things at their parents.

auntliddy said...

Certainly not diagnosing, just making observation.

Cathy said...

When you say that it seems to you like she might be autistic, how is that not diagnosing? And I'd also like to know where you got your degree...

Cassiopeia said...

Cathy, Suri has been diagnosed by some commenters as being a sociopath also.

Rose said...

auntliddy, I didn't think Suri was afraid of the puppy. It looked more like her throwing a tantrum because she couldn't get one.

I'm not sure there is anything wrong with Suri, other than she has been given everything she wants, and is completely sheltered. Of course she doesn't know how to relate to other kids, and she can't handle being told no.

dia papaya said...

@cathy - I think @auntliddy made some valid points. And then she apologized. No need to get snarky.

surfer said...

If Suri can't relate to other children, it's probably because she hasn't been exposed to many. She always seems to be around her parents, and if they truly had her best interests at heart, they would stop dragging her around for all these pap shots.

Agent**It said...

Think we should we vote at the end of the day/night? (There's a lot of PM readers,I think).

Help !

It has to be the best because other blogs think CDAN readers are nuts.

@vicki - I think you should write for Patton Oswalt. Seriously, read his Tweets (twats, whatever).

Cathy said...

I'm not getting snarky - I just think it's really not okay to try and diagnose a kid you've never met, especially when the only pictures you see of her are pap photos. She didn't choose her parents or her life, so it's bad enough that she's being traumatized every day by getting cameras shoved in her face by strangers who shout stuff at her parents every time she's outside. Any normal kid would look unhappy during that, so I just find it ridiculous when people use that as evidence of some underlying emotional/health condition.

Frufra said...

Agent**it, I like to think of you as the Chairman of the Board around here (chairperson?, since I raised the gender stink), so I say you make the ground rules, and we will abide by them.

Cathy said...

Also, I believe there were some photos of her with other kids after a dance class last week, but the other kids were conveniently cropped out.

Lisa said...

Suri is adorable and trying really hard to be normal. In the pics of her out with Katie and her grandma at the zoo, she was smiling in some of them but in many she looks like my grandson looks when he's learning something new and exciting, just absorbing the moment. She looks, to me, to be a 'normal' little girl who is experiencing things normal little girls experience at her age: the zoo, ice cream, pet stores, gymnastics. She pouts when she can't have a puppy. Normal. She doesn't like people in her face all the time. Who would?! Her parents have their agendas, which sucks for her but I don't blame Katie at this point. This is about Suri getting free of that cult as much as Katie and the only way to do that is publicly. Unless they cut Tom free, she will always be their target. Just hoping things settle down for the little one. Quite a few pics of Suri smiling over the years and I imagine there will be many more to come as they break free and she's allowed more 'normal' people into her life, such as grandmas, aunts, cousins, friends.

Susan said...

New name-TomCrash? TomGnat? Freak of Nature?

Frufra said...

And ITA with Cathy. But I also will say I don't think anyone is trying to act ugly here (former kindergarten teacher here - hug it out, people!).

Roman Holiday said...

@ Auntliddy, this is an innocent little girl that not one of us knows how she is behind closed doors! I think it is really wrong to say she is autistic judging by pictures that she does not want to be in!

Sunny said...

I'm down with McGlib, but will also accept L. Ron Cruise :)

People can obviously say whatever they want, but I'm in agreement with Cathy. I have 2 little ones, so everyone "diagnosing" Suri as a sociopath and such is a dagger in my heart. Didn't some of you guys hide behind your parents when ONE adult would say Hello to you? Imagine those Pap a-holes swarming you every single day and yelling. It would scare the shit out of me as well

pilly said...

Well said

Ditto!!!!!

Sue in MO said...

I feel sorry for Suri. Poor kid can't even be taken to the zoo without being stalked by paps. On the other hand, there have been photos of her with another little girl traveling with them, so I think Katie is trying to get her some social activity with kids her own age. But seriously - they can't do anything normal, not even go out for ice cream, without photographers following them - it's sad. But then I think of those photos of Tom going in and out of his hotel yesterday carrying the child, and wonder about all the hotels with underground parking and elevator access from there - why must celebrities be dropped off directly in front of the hotel unless they want to be "seen?" And then I think of the months Katie Holmes has been in NY and stealthily got an apartment, different phones, fired staff.... all totally under the radar. There's a small war being played out in the public eye here and if they want to go underground they can. If my child were that frightened every time we stepped outside, you better believe I'd be making sure NO pap could get to her if I could.

timebob said...

Suri reminds me of the Gloria Vanderbilt story, the poor little rich girl that gets pulled from all sides over money, power and control. Gloria at least made it through and gave us the amazing Silver Fox Anderson Cooper. Thank's Glo.

And no way, no how will Tom turn his back on Suri. Tom doesn't lose, he didn't lose his first 2 kids he won't lose Suri in the long run either. He will stick around to be a thorn in Katie side until he can mind meld Suri into Scientology.

Or I still hold out hope Tom will have a breakthrough one day like others have and turn his back on this f'n cult and be free of it. Then Tom & Katie can raise her as a happpy well adjusted child.

dia papaya said...

Hug it out people (thx Frufra!) I hope she gets some quiet time and we can go on to gossip about tragic grown ups.

In other news, @Vicki.... Will you write about us all when u join SNL? I would like to be played by The Zooey bc I have giant brown eyes and am super quirky. Can't sing worth a damn but I sure try hard in the shower!

Agent**It said...

Re Suri ,
I never comment on her because she is a child.But I have wondered , what is it like to be Suri?

I'm thinking as a 5-6 year old. You walk out the door and the paps are at eye level taking your pix?

I'd like to see her carrying a water gun and an Avengers S.H.I.E.L.D. and every time the paps got in her face she can shoot and duck.

I don't blame them one bit for carrying her and for her wanting her gung gung with her at all times.

dia papaya said...

PS - I like the vote idea with the PM peeps. Contest!!!!

IDoTheRobot said...

I vote for Dip Shit, Top Grandpa or L. Ron Cruise.

Agent**It said...

@Frufra, thank you, but somebody else already called me an old school marm (amongst many other things):)


I thought that it was you that brought up the gender issue but could not remember. It was a good point!

auntliddy said...

cathy, again, not diagnosing, just saying what it seems like. I dont say it in a happy way. I feel sorry for the kid. But she has had paps in her face all her life, shldbe used to them somewhat. And I highly doubt anyone will read this, say shes autistic based on what i said!!!! I hope she is completely normal and happy in every way. But she is being used btwn parents, even if they arent aware of it.
Sometimes tho, one must address the elephant in the room.

C'estMoi said...

What about Xenuphobe?

Brenda L said...

It'll never work....there's way too many Catholics out there that will take offense that "poor Tom" is upset that Suri is going Catholic.

Tatyana said...

@Vicki Cupper said...
"I always thought Xenu was their version of Satan."

More like Stalin or Mao I'd say from what one can find on the net.

dia papaya said...

What about XenuProbe!!!

lazyday603 said...

Tom "Undermy" Thumb

Bogey said...

Michael Kay from dlisted calls him Tommy Girl - which always makes me smile - just out of curiosity - why does Enty call People "kneepads"?

cheesegrater15 said...

Because they suck so much celebrity dick, they have to use kneepads.

luckylass said...

@Henriette - Xenu is the galactic overlord who purged alien souls to Earth. Those lost souls inhabited our bodies. They cause us to do bad things and give us bad thoughts. The whole purpose of scientology is to rid the body of these alien souls and become "clear".

I highly recommend the South Park episode "trapped in the closet" for a humorous, yet accurate, description of this.

Your name always reminds me of the Mr. Rodgers kitty puppet.

Hendrix said...

Is Kneepads a Scientology publication now?

EmEyeKay said...

Christ I wish I'd woken up on time this morning... sigh...

MY VOTE: L. Ron Cruise, LRC for short. That's brilliant.

Tom Thumb isn't bad, either.

Lady Luvgood said...

I like Tombot, because the real Tom, left years ago, to be replaced by a CO$ robot.

Alicia said...

I like Tom Thumbilina.. It's completely appropriate and also sounds like the lyrics to a Del the Funky Homosapien song !

L. Ron Cruise is pretty funny too. He could be known as " The Source Jr. " or just call him " The Sauce " ( but you have to snap your fingers when you say it )

Cathy said...

Can't we all just call him "Poor Tom?" That way the threads won't sound any alarms at CoS and steppy can take a nice long vacation.

Agent**It said...

Can't keep up !
Please add on the nominations that I miss
@1PM EST

L. Ron Cruise(LRC)
McGlib (McG)
Tom Thumb (TT)
Tom Thumbelina (TT ?)
Tom "Undermy" Thumb (TUT)
Cruise Control (CC).
Xenuphobe (Xp)
XenuProbe (XP)

luckylass said...

Nellie posted this on the other Co$ post, but it is too good not to share here.

Tom Cruise Auditions New Wife: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZzczBTa8rI&feature=g-all-u

Thank you Nellie!

Agent**It said...

That video is hilarious.
Did you read :
DropOfAmbrosia comment :

"mission impossible messiah"

Please tell me DropofAmbrosia is here?

CanadianMiss said...

I think Miscaviage is their Stalin...

MrPresident said...

Nothing wrong with People's pro-Tom story...he still has a huge fanbase....people want to believe the fantasy, i'm sure it will sell well

Opie said...

Hey it is MY Lindsanity day today, go get 'em girl!

Maybe using the above logic McG or LRC (my two fav's) thought the SeaOrg was best place to ship a 6 YO off to. No paps in her face and all the time in the world to be alone (in a cold dark seasickness inducing bunker) and "get centered".

Connie151 said...

Not even Kneepads could get people to believe that Tom is the victim. I mean, even outside of gossip sites, it's pretty common speculation that he and his cult are nuts and their relationship was a contractual one.

EmEyeKay said...

still voting for L. Ron Cruise. It's too good.

WUWT? said...

Bethenny saved her marriage? When did that happen?

Karen said...

@WUWT?, I was wondering the same thing!

Steppy said...

People deciding a child has a psychiatric disorder based on NO information...it's no wonder medications are over prescribed in this country.
Try and remember this is a family under very trying times. Show a little respect.

cheesegrater15 said...

Stop trying to stir the pot when everything's been resolved. Fuck the fuck off Steppy. Go wank off to your Tommy girl and L. Ron posters.

misspoppypants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Opie said...

So a COS/McG post and guess who shows up at the party! And condemning use of medications, ha!
Does Steppy post on ANY other topics or is that above her pay grade? Well I don't think they get paid actually.

misspoppypants said...

Snark= where did you get your degree, "ridiculous", etc, now irs an almost shame aunt liddy fest. Stop.

misspoppypants said...

Can we let auntliddy off the hook now? Sheesh!!!

misspoppypants said...

Love the pic EmEyeK. I like L Ron Cruise also

misspoppypants said...

Have you read all the other posts, Steppy? Youre beating it to death.

misspoppypants said...

I wish there was a drug to cure self righteous condesenscion for Steppy. I'll pay and throw it over the razor wire.

Seachica said...

I always think of Tom as the Midget Behind the Curtain. He's not really the all-powerful wizard he thinks he is.

misspoppypants said...

I nominate The MiscAvenger!!!

misspoppypants said...

I just nominated the MiscAvenger!

feraltart said...

I vote L Ron Cruise.
Steppy! What ame do you vote for?

misspoppypants said...

MiscAvenger cause he's Miscavige's mouth piece.

Cassiopeia said...

I still like church lady. :)

Steppy said...

Sorry I expressed my opinion.

Is this what you want to hear-

Kids should be on medication, preferably decided on by people that have never met them. Divorce is a public spectacle, open to judgment and criticism from the public (especially 6 yr old girls).

Sorry, that is ridiculous.

Please, feel free to criticize me (another person you know nothing about). I am happy to take the emphasis off a family during trying times.

@opie - I post on a variety of issues. Please look around before you make disparaging comments.

@poppypants - I share your irritation with beating a subject to death. However, when it comes to the health and well being of a child - it can't be talked about enough.

cheesegrater15 said...

Oh, please. Get off your fucking cross. You're a troll, plain and simple. And not even a good one.

auntliddy said...

I do hv degree but still not diagnosing. Just observing. If i said" i think she may be part pusstcat", does that mean im diagnosing? Nope. Just opinion.

auntliddy said...

Exactly!!!!

auntliddy said...

Thanks missy!! Everyone entitled to their own opinion. I hoPe im wrong!

pjammie said...

@Bogey, when I first started reading this site i thought Enty was talking about Kim Kartrashian when referring to Kneepads.
I vote for L. Tom Cruise also. I also feel bad about how the C list nobody Katie Holmes ruined Tom's life. Sad. Like SP Xenu sad. Or even Tommy Davis stole my buttplug Sad.

auntliddy said...

Also down with l ron cruise! Thus wld be funnier if it wasnt so tragic that tom is completely under tgeur spell!

auntliddy said...

I, for one, am in NO way recommending medicating anyone!

misspoppypants said...

@Steppy, omg yes it can, especially since auntliddy qualified her statements. And your condescending, self aggrandizing statements are overbearing. It's not as if you are leading a crusade or a spokesperson for a children's organization or NIMH. You are just an anonymous blogger who is getting some self esteem needs met on a gossip site. Come back to the ground, princess.

misspoppypants said...

What about a variation? L. Tom Hubbard?

Agent**It said...

@Steppy



Where's Shelly ?

Mango said...

Where do I begin?

"The devastated star turns to his inner circle-- and Scientology"

Isn't that one and the same?

@ luckylass - that video was fucking hilarious which leads me to my next point - the jokes and mockery are everywhere. Tommy Girl and the Co$ cult must be shitting their pants. The suggestions that he is gay, that he signs wives to contracts, that he is a bully-- it's all out there. Unless they are keeping all this from him, he must be freaking out. THAT is where his devastation is coming from. He's not shattered because his wife and kid left him. His world is shattered because he's been outed as a bully and a carefully crafted FAKE who's a major player in a soul destroying cult.

Hand me some more popcorn. I hope this doesn't end anytime soon.

Not A Ninny said...

The fine folks behind CDAN are sure doing their part to fuel the anti-Scieno backlash. Fine with me. I'm just cringing in advance a little for the inevitable counterattack from COS.

Agent**It said...

@5:15 EST
If I missed any, take it over and add the name !

L. Ron Cruise(LRC)
McGlib (McG)
Tom Thumb
Tom Thumbelina
Tom "Undermy" Thumb
Cruise Control
Xenuphobe
XenuProbe

The MiscAvenger
Church Lady
L. Tom Hubbard

Not A Ninny said...

BTW, doesn't CDAN seem unusually confident about bashing COS? Multiple negative entries and BI's, day after day, with details that would seem to come from industry insiders or even COS insiders?

And the worst of the backlash so far has been...Steppy? Hmmmm.

Popcorn Sutton said...

@Seachica- I love The Midget Behind the Curtain. That should be thrown into the ring.

If it's too long, I vote for LRC.

Steppy said...

Glad you could focus your hate on me and leave this poor family alone :)

Oh, and if you think being compassionate merits ridicule - I feel sorry for you.

Anonymous said...

I made the mistake of suggesting People was being sympathetic to Tom Cruise in a comment form last week and set off all kinds of shit storm and was accused of being a Scientologist (I'm not). Glad to see i'm not the only one who thinks People is nuts though.
On a side note, I hate to think how much hate mail you get enty. Do they go through your rubbish?

WUWT? said...

RonTom?

Or RonTomTom to evoke RinTinTin: he's following the master like an obedient puppy.

dia papaya said...

@ Agent**It - I was joking about XenuProbe. Just thought is was funny after XenuPhobe.

I just want something easy to type.

Not A Ninny said...

"MiscAvenger cause he's Miscavige's mouth piece."

I wonder if that's still true. According to COS insiders, Miscavige is a rabidly abusive and arrogant little elf, but seems to be fairly smart and cunning about how he runs what he clearly knows is a cult. Between the couch jumping and his fading stardom, Tom has become as much a liability as an asset to COS, and Miscavige doesn't seem to buddy-buddy around with Tom as much as he used to do.

dia papaya said...

I also like King TUT (Tom "Undermy" Thumb)

Sunny said...

@Frufa
How did I miss the description of your (jewel encrusted???) rainbow leotard? Gold!!

C'estMoi said...

Dia -- I think XenuProbe is hilarious!

astrogirl said...

As predicted the poor, sad, lonely, blindsided Tom stories are coming out.

Henriette said...

I could never get into studying COS. I can't even study the insanity of it. L.Ron Hubbard was just too horrid of a writer for me. If you are going to do a cult around a writer, make it a good one! I can see a cult around F. Scott Fitzgerald or T.S. Eliot, but a Hubbard? Please! Heck, why not Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley?

Alicia said...

@ agentIt : I still like The Sauce ( fingersnap $

cheesegrater15 said...

Henriette, UGH!! I HATED Frankenstein in high school. A Lovecraftian cult would make more sense than L. Ron "Pederast" Hubbard.

Praise Cthulhu!

Gabi said...

GMD (gay midget dwarf) is still my fave!!

Sandy said...

So let's see: Cruise's people have so far planted that hilarious "exclusive" about how Katie was appalled by his orgies with women (HEH) and now People is yammering on about his "shattered world." Do they actually expect people to swallow this crap? And isn't it too little too late?

Next up (probably next week): "Tom Finds LOVE Again!" "Tom's Broken Heart Healed By New Love!" "Tom's SEXAY New Love Is Now Sporting A Baby Bump! From His Sperm! Because He's TOTALLY Heterosexual!"

Marie said...

I agree with Gabi, mostly because it's been used for so long across multiple sites so (almost) everyone knows what it means.

Not that the other suggestions aren't hilarious :)

misspoppypants said...

I hope so, I hope it blows up in both their faces!

misspoppypants said...

okay when are we voting? Im going to vote now cause it's 9:30 here. I like MiscAvenger and L. Tom Hubbard, but they are all great!

Jessie said...

Single dad? Please.

Jessie said...

I quite like "Tom Thumb"

And Sandy, the last headline is my favourite.

Agent**It said...

@11:10EST

Please add or subtract :

L. Ron Cruise(LRC)
McGlib (McG)
Tom Thumb (TT)
Tom Thumbelina (TTE)
Tom "Undermy" Thumb (TUT)
Cruise Control (CC).
Xenuphobe (Xp)
XenuProbe (XP)
MiscAvenger (MA)
Church Lady (CL)
L. Tom Hubbard (LTH)
The Midget Behind the Curtain ...
RonTomTom (RTT)
The Sauce ( fingersnap $)...

surfer said...

I like McGlib (McG) the best, because it rolls off the tongue easily. The only problem is that isn't there a producer by the name of McG?

Agent**It said...

Update , what do you think?

L. Ron Cruise(LRC)
L.Tom Hubbard (LTH)
McGlib (McG)
MiscAvenger (MA)
Church Lady (CL)

Sunny said...

@Agent
I know some people giggled at Church Lady, but I think the whole point of renaming him was so posters didn't refer to him as Tammy Girl. It rubbed some people the wrong way (like either being a girl was bad, or that it comes across as homophobic) . Just my 2 sheckles :)
And Agent - I'm still dying at the timing of my first response to Vicki, that wound up posting right after yours. I almost peed myself with the gaffe!

dia papaya said...

Thx! Ok it's stays on the list

lilo723 said...

This pic of Tom looks just like Suri. I never thought that until this picture.

Unknown said...

Please tell me I'm not the only one thinking there was an entertainment source called Kneepads. I honestly thought it was some website that Jack Osbourne gave an interview to when he announced his MS diagnosis.

dolana said...

This very compelling German film, "Until Nothing Remains" (2010), about one family's experience with Co$ may interest those here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HlG2zZ-B2E

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