Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Your Turn

How many times have you been in love? Do you believe in love? One person for everyone?

86 comments:

Agent**It said...

I am Love.

dia papaya said...

Sing along with me:

Love is a splendid thing. Then some more words go here. La la la la la la la. I'm in the mood for love.

FSP said...

Isn't that 3 turns?

jadedlove said...

I was only in love once, or so I thought. I still believe in love and believe there is someone out there for everybody. Just trying to find that one is hard. Dating sucks.

Cara said...

The concept of one "true" love is bullshit. I love my husband, but if he dropped dead tomorrow I guarantee you I'd fall in love again eventually. We choose to be in committed relationships, it's not some pre-destined thing.

For me personally, I've been in true love twice. Once was infatuation brought on by depression, alcohol, and serious co-dependence issues.

*karen* said...

I've been in love twice and almost a third time.

I believe that there are many men out there that I could fall in love with and be compatible with. There might be one who is better for me than all the rest, but I could live happily with any of the others. So no one person.

And this is coming from someone who is ridiculously happy, engaged, and doesn't want to be with anyone other than her fiance, ever.

Steph.livelaughlove said...

I've been in lust/infatuation a lot. True love? Only once. Not to say, if something were to happen to him, I couldn't find love again. As it stands now, one true love. Thats after we were together for ten years. Broke up for one year, and got back together. 18 years and counting!

AuntJess said...

Once. And still am.

Em Cue Em said...

Once. I met my husband of almost 10 years when I was 16, got pregnant the first time we slept together (the night we met), and married him before I turned 18. If soulmates exist (I doubt it), he's mine.

nolachickee said...

Thought I was in love three times. Don't even want to look at any of them now. I think you can be compatable with multiple people. However, now more than ever I see that timing is everything.

Agent**It said...

@dia

"Love is a many splendored thing"

"It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring"

Agent**It said...

"I'm in the mood for love, simply because you are near me "

pilly said...

Love schmuv

Roman Holiday said...

Ok don't laugh at me but I am with the same man since I was 16! We are married and I don't think we will ever break up! Do I think there is one person for everyone? YES! But I do think you can be in love more than once!

OMAMA is BROKO said...

twice (well three if you wanna count my soul brother, but 'twas a pure & non sexual love), and no, I don't believe in love anymore, and is there one person for everyone? Possibly, but my one person (who def was my "one"), I certainly (and sadly) left for a street junkie back in '95 (low self esteem). Sucks for me.

Robert said...

Agent**IT: Now I have to go listen to that song...I've been in love many times. Seriously, twice. Everybody has a soul mate, and you sometimes meet up with them in real life. Em Cue Em is an example of that.

dia papaya said...

I royally butchered that! I blame Oprah and now Courtney for stealing my brains.

Seriously though, much to my BFs chagrin, I just can't remember lyrics and make them all up. I always have.

Ms Cool said...

I've been in love about 3 times, in lust - many, many times starting with Christopher Reeve as Superman and stalled on Daniel Craig as Bond. However, I've only been head over heels, for better-for worse love and that is with my husband. Will never love anyone as much as I love him. Ever.

mikey said...

I was in love when I was 20 and I let him go to pursue his dream and broke his heart I wouldn't go with him. We reconnected 2 months ago and we're right back in love. Almost makes the 30 years inbetween worth it.

EmEyeKay said...

I believe in attraction. I've been in love but haven't loved much. I think true love means you'll always put the other person first, and I've never been willing to do that.

EmEyeKay said...

@mikey, that's amazing! Congrats!

rhinovodka said...

5 times. I am a sucker, always want it but screw it up. yes, I believe in love but I don't believe that there is just one person for me. I believe love is about timing, the right place, time, person, etc.

discoflux said...

I'm on my 3rd go on being truly "in love" and if there is such a thing as soulmates, he is mine. He gets me on a level that no one else ever has and vice versa.

Do I think I could fall in love with someone else if he were to die? (Universe forbid, please!) Probably, but I don't bother to think about that. As long as I get the privilege of loving him and being loved by him now, I'm the happiest I could be.

sylmarillion said...

True love - once, and it still feels great. Lust - lots of times (since my hubby, only for him though). Oh, and one big crush.

nunaurbiz said...

I fell in love four times, but three of them didn't last. Hoping this current one lasts forever! (And he does too!!! YAY ME!!!!!)

Agent**It said...

@Robert, Sinatra, Louis Armstrong and Smokey Robinson have great recordings of "I'm in the Mood.."."Love is many Splendored Thing" was covered by a neighbor "down the road" named Connie Francis who did a great job with it.

Cake said...

Yes, Yes, believe there is more than one person for each person, but agree with nolachickee that timing is everything

lizjaxe said...

In love once, he didnt feel the same way. Lust several times.

HannahPalindrome said...

Once and only said it once. I don't tell every boyfriend I love them.

HannahPalindrome said...

Once and only said it once. I don't tell every boyfriend I love them.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

@lizjaxe....that happened to me too with my second love (I really feel like it was my karmic punishment for leaving my first and truly only love). I wasted five years with the loser, and he still was only hung up on the girl who dumped him in 2000.

He was such an a**hole (and a hoarder, so gross), no one could understand why I was with him, but he was amazing in the boudoir. That is why.


//oib sharing too much as uje

O'Really said...

I was in love with two men at the same time. They were aware of each other and all was great for a couple of years. One was killed by a drunk driver and a year and a half later the other one proposed to me. He died the next day. I've been loveless since but I'm considering seeing someone again. It's been 8 years and I think I'll fall in love again.

SusanB said...

I believe in soul mates but I also think you can have more than one soul mate. Luckily after 55 years I found one of mine.

angie said...

I've been in love 3x's over the last 30 years. Once died, one was not available to me fully and the other one I am married to. My husband is the closet thing to true love I have ever known.

Sometimes people remain single their whole lives, so I don't believe there is someone for everyone.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

@O'Rielly....are you serious??? If so, my heart goes to you. That's beyond terrible.

And @SusanB....you give me hope. I think in ten+ yrs time I'll be ready again.

Bless you both.

Texshan said...

At 43, I've never been in love. Not even close. I actually think that I lack some kind of "love gene" that everyone else seems to have. I've been infatuated many times, but I've always known it wasn't love.

I don't believe that there is one "destined" true love. People are compatible with many others, so it's all down to timing, your circumstances in life, ideals and goals, etc. I'm not a romantic, obviously.

ElleKay said...

I believe there's one person for everyone one. One who fits perfectly with you. But it's possible to be in love more than once in a lifetime.
I've been in love 3 times.

O'Really said...

Sadly, I am Omama. It's been an excruciating decade for me. Thank you.

Agent**It said...

@Susan B - it's so much better when you're older and wiser, isn't it?:)

Maja. With a J. said...

I believe in true love, but I also think it is easily confused with "desire to bone" in the beginning...*L*

I don't know how many times I've been in love though. 3 or 4, maybe? Mostly unrequited *dramatic sigh*.

car54 said...

Never...I've been temporarily obsessed but I don't think it was the real thing.

RowdyRodimus said...

I think I was in love before, now, I'm really not sure. As you can guess, it ended badly.

However, I still hold onto this fairy tale version of love that I created in my mind as a child. In it, everyone has half a soul we find true love when we find the person that has the other half of the same soul.

Stupid, I know.

Jesse D said...

I've been really, truly, madly, deeply in love only once. And it was destroyed in a terrible, ugly fashion. I've tried to move on, fall for other people, but I think he destroyed something important in me. It's been seven years and I no longer love him, nor can I imagine loving anyone else.
I do believe in love, and absolutely only one person for a lifetime.

doctressjulia said...

There is no such thing as love.

captivagrl said...

I believe in love. Not fairytale love, real love.

Em Cue Em said...

Sometimes I think that 'love' is so subjective, those of us who have it think we know what it means, and those of us who don't feel the same way, but if you examine both groups you will find a markedly different idea of what love really means. And kudos to the commentor above who remarked that they've never been able to put someone else fully before their own needs: It's been my understanding (only going by what I'm told by single friends) that a lot of people who haven't found 'true love' are expecting a perfect person who will sacrifice for them endlessly but has no expectation of receiving the same treatment. My idea of 'true love' is a mutual respect and desire to protect one another at all cost.

RenoBlondee said...

I've been "in love" 3 times, but also, sometimes I feel like, What is love exactly? Was I really in love with the two jerks that I didn't end up with? It's very subjective I think. I agree that I could easily fall in love again if my husband left or died. I think it's more an action then a feeling. I think the beginning is lust. At least with a mate.
Love is different for your children and such.
*end ramble*

Robert said...

@Agent**It: I was thinking of "Love Ia a Many-Splendored Thing" by The Four Aces. Schlock at its finest!

Robert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
luckylass said...

Twice. But the second time was so much greater than the first. It was and is electric. Damn, the first time I kissed my husband was crazy electric. Best.Kiss.Ever and that was like 14 years ago.

I'd like to think that if terrible something happened, I could find someone else. But I also doubt it.

ms snarky said...

I've been in love a couple of times; really in love now with a great person who's also in love with me but I won't ever do anything about it due to entanglements; and hope to find a nice single guy to be in love with in the future.

So my answers, in order, are: 2 or 3, yes, and more than one for everyone.

lostathome said...

I don't think I've ever been in love. I've been close to it but it wasn't reciprocal at all. Just used me and I knew it. I've had a LOT of crushes. Never told anyone I love them, and won't til I'm absolutely sure I do.

AKM said...

I THOUGHT I was in love SEVERAL times. I would have to say, though, looking back with age and wisdom, that I was only truly in love three times.

(Although I sometimes even wonder about those. And I don't think it will ever happen again. I don't think I'm actually lovable in that way.)

SusanB said...

@Agent*IT - yes, isn't it?

@OMAMA - just give it time. And when you're ready, try on-line dating. That's how I met my guy. I was in Atlanta, he was in Florida. The only way we could have possibly met was on-line.

redronnie said...

I am in love with my husband, it is not the wild and passionate love I envisioned "in love" would be ..to my delight, older love is kind, gentle with interesting conversations, laughter and peace of mind and heart.

Agent**It said...

@redronnie, beautiful comment. It is a trustworthy state that is earned and oh so comfortable. And fun.Amen!

Pogue Mahone said...

I have been attracted to a few people but only in love once but my True Love ended up to be gay.

ClaraHoard said...

After some horrible early experiences I met my boyfriend at 18 and have spent the next 6 years worshipping him. thankfully I think it's mutual :) I don't feel i could love again but i may be an odd case!

Brenda L said...

No, I don't believe in love. Maybe for other people, but apparently not for me. :-(

shelly said...

First met him when I was 15. Was with him from 19-24. It's been 23 years since we split, I miss him every day. No one has filled his shoes, not even close. He was my one true love. Am I okay with that? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

Is there really love or is it all lust disguised as love?

I thought it was love but looking back I would say it was always lust.

Sunny said...

I love love. True love does exist, but I don't think there is just one person out there for you. That's too much pressure if you have that view!

This has been one of my favorite Your Turns. Your stories are beautiful, real, tragic and raw. For those who are doubting if you will ever love again, I say this:
You have to surrender to love in order to experience it.

Now get out there!!!

DavidsFan said...

Infatuation once. Fully in love once with my husband when meeting him the third time - six weeks after college - in NYC. He just died suddenly in an accident; next week will be a year anniversary of his dead. We were married more than 25 years and had had big problems in the last few years of his life. I still miss him everyday. One image of us that kept playing back in my head. It was in the late 80s, when I was pregnant with our first child and he was just got home from France for business and brought back some music for me from there. We sat on the floor of our brand new custome built home. In the living room. He sat on the floor, I laid down with his upper legs as my pillow. We listened to the gorgeous music that so beautiful that I started to cry. That was one of my images of us together. I think I know now what heart broken is. I cannot imagine life with anyone else. My solace is our children, my friends, family and my faith. His was the deepest love. Don't think I have it in me to do it again. Thanks for another great forum Enty.

astrogirl said...

When you're with the right person a tent looks luxurious.

Reese said...

Loads of infatuation, but really in love, probably about six times. I'm now back with someone I knew, and was in love with, as a teenager. We got separated back in the day and lost each other for a long time, got involved with others, but there was no else who could ever come close to each other for us. Fortunately, he was looking for me online the whole time. He found me about two and a half years ago; extremely happy and grateful he did.

Turkish Taffy said...

True love was once, but it didn't work out. It's not what I feel for my husband, but I trust him and from the moment I met him I felt so safe and secure. I'll take that over love any day.

feraltart said...

I think truly in love just once, with my husband. We met on a blind date. Over the years we realized our paths must have crossed multiple times, but we never met. We are very happy. I do think there is more than one person and that timing is huge.

hotchacha said...

I'm in love right now but can't have him so I'm not going to tell him.

Nope said...

Twice, but oddly neither time was in my two very long term relationships. One committed suicide, so I was never able to resolve my feelings. The other lives, but I don't think it will ever happen for us. I believe my third love is coming. It seems to happen once a decade for me and I just started my 30s :)

MrsPMFU said...

I think some of the other comments here definitely sum up my feelings on the matter...(timing, right place/right time, could fall in love again if something happened to current S.O.).

I feel like I've been in love three times, but only one was my soulmate. We were madly in love but let it fall apart. I was in love with my husband at the beginning, and still love him more than anything, but we've never had the connection I had with my ex. Some people you just have a mad connection with, and you shouldn't let it go!

Henriette said...

Three times and married the third one. I do believe we have more than one soulmate.

Henriette said...

Omma and Jix
Isn't that the worst? When a person can't move on? You are in front of them, totally there, and all they can think about is the one who broke their hearts. I think some people just want to be miserable.

Lelaina Pierce said...

5 or 6 times, so that probably means some were lust. ;) I do believe in love, but not necessarily that there is only one person for everyone.

I started singing The Darkness's song when I read this post.

Gertrude said...

I thought I was in love but it turns out its just a personality disorder

Gertrude said...

I thought I was in love but it turns out its just a personality disorder

Agent**It said...

@DavidsFan, heartbreaking ,please take good care of yourself.

Jazzy said...

I've been in love 2 times. I think there are a few soulmates for everyone but not always in romance. Mine has been my best friend since we were 6. Hope that true love exsists, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

Me said...

twice. crashed and BURNED both times. i had a dream a couple of months ago that i was in love again. i had that wonderful rush, fluttering heart, can't stand to be away from him, feeling even when i woke up. was odd. like part of me wants to try again. don't think i could risk it.

i use to think there was just one person for each of us, but not any more. there are what, 6 billion people in the world? bound to be a few for each of us...if we so choose.

E Gee Be said...

Lelaina, me too! And thank all of you for sharing your sweet and special and sometimes sad stories. I believe I met the person I am supposed to be with, my lobster, when I was 19 and have hung in there ever since.

BFSkinnerchick said...

We met at the beach when we were both 17. He was visiting from Germany. It was one torrid summer. He looked like Adonis to me. We almost had sex on that same beach on a beautiful, clear, full moon night. I chickened out. When I think back, I can almost still feel the sea breeze, hear the waves, and feel him breathe with me. When he left for home, the airline let me walk out on the tarmac to kiss him goodbye. He have me a rose. I gave him a mitzpah coin split in half. It was like the scene from Casablanca. We have stayed in touch for 25 years. He just returned and we met at the same beach with our families. He still makes my heart flutter, although we are both happily married. He told me he still has his half-coin. I sometimes wonder if we will get together again when we're old...

Kraymond19 said...

I believe in love & being in love. How many times? Three? How many times in love with someone worthy & totally reciprocal... once. Hindsight. :)

I do not fully believe there is only one "real love" for every, but I am forever grateful for the love & support in my life now. Nothing has ever felt this wonderful. *mush*

RenoBlondee said...

@BFSkinnerchick
Your story gave me goosies!!!

BFSkinnerchick said...

I'm a first-time poster--well, second if you count the above--long-time reader. Love these stories and love the atmosphere here. CDaNers rock! Some of you really brighten up my days with your hilarious insights on the human condition.

Sian said...

Never, I think I'm too young for true love, want to be selfish a bit longer. :p

DixieTheNoble82 said...

Once. A few years ago. Nobody will ever compare. One person for everyone? No.

Katja said...

In my lifetime probebly 20+ times. I've been w/ husband almost 17 years and I am in and out of love with him - depending on his after stroke personality defects.

But in HS and collage- 20's I fell in love often. Most of the guys didn't know... I just wanted to feel loved....