Friday, September 07, 2012

Lindsay Lohan Would Like You To Notice Her


This is why Lindsay Lohan will never move to New York. No one notices her there. Sure, she can drink there and she has had some spectacular photos taken of her there crawling on her knees after being at a club, but for the most part, the paps there leave her alone. She hates this. She needs and craves the attention. That is another one of her addictions. Yes, she has so many that she is forced to use her fingers and toes to count them all. For some reason yesterday, Lindsay decided to release a statement to Tom Cruise that she had no part in the Vanity Fair story. Umm, you were not mentioned in the story anywhere Lindsay. Never saw your name. Even Tom is not crazy enough to ever audition you to be a wife of his. Can you imagine? That would be the best reality show that has ever walked the earth. I say earth, because I'm hoping there is going to be a Real Housewives of some planet where there is life. Here is Lindsay's quote. "I just want everyone and Tom Cruise to know, that I have/had no part in the Vanity Fair story. Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work-related."

Obviously drunk when she Tweeted and hoping he can get her a role as a thank you. Not going to happen, but he will get her a free stress test.

94 comments:

libby said...

Lindsay gives me the courage to admit that I didn't have anything to do with that wicked VF article either, Tom.

libby said...

I just got off the phone to anyone in my life, personal or work related. None of them had anything to do with this either, Tom Cruise.

goes in circles said...

I, too, had nothing to do with that article.

eris hilton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rejectedcarebear said...

She also tweeted about how happy she was that Chris Brown won a VMA. Her twitter feed is awful, its basically her retweeting her 'fans'

eris hilton said...

I could see this becoming a meme. "I just want you guys all to know i had nothing to do with Watergate! I wasn't even born at the time. Thanks for understanding."

EmEyeKay said...

LOL @Libby.

Okay, Linz, duly noted, moving on...

Agent**It said...

Enty ,
I need to verify this info with Shelly. BTW:


WHERE'S SHELLY?

Ms Cool said...

I might have had something to do with the VF article.

MISCH said...

They called but I was out.

I have to say I think the church would do Lindsay a world of good.

Salsa Lover said...

This comment has nothing to do with Tom Cruise or VF. Or, well, it didn't until I typed it.

Cathy said...

I can neither confirm nor deny that I had anything to do with the article. No comment.

:)

katsm0711 said...

Did anyone else catch her tweet yesterday to good old Barak saying that he needs to also cut taxes on "so called millionaires too"? It was pretty drunky funny

Agent**It said...

Did you notice that Entward posted this Lohan crap on FB but not the VF nor his/her Sat post about Co$?

Amber said...

I want Tom Cruise to know I had nothing to do with the Vanity Fair article, either, though I wish I did.

Jennifer H. said...

Maybe this is her way of telling us that she was looked at/applied/whatever for the role of Mrs. Cruise? I wouldn't be at all surprised to find she was on the list. I think it would have been the very long first list of "all starlets with a pulse" and she would have been crossed off quickly for being too damn young and for being too much of a hardcore partier. I also can reasonably imagine her trying to worm her way into a meeting with Tom. Crashing and interloping seem to be her specialties.

Lola said...

I'm pretty sure that even Scientology doesn't want her.

Frufra said...

@libby - you are awesome

@Lola - great burn

We're off to a good CDAN Friday - keep the laffs comin, folks!!

kriss_t said...

I was wondering what that tweet was about...I hadn't read the article. Apparently...nobody else knows.
Last night she was tweeting while watching VMA's, and she so vaguely and innocently asked everyone what they thought of Taylor Swifts performance...look out Taylor Swift!

January Girl said...

Her Twitter feed was quite entertaining last night. One of the last ones I saw was her tweeting One Direction, Nicki Minaj, and Lady Gaga about doing a song together. Delusion, thy name is Lindsay Lohan. Or maybe it was the booze talking.

Amber said...

January - I think it's all of the above :)

Roman Holiday said...

maybe Linds should join Narcanon??

djphob said...

She is the one person I think a trip to SeaOrg could be good for.

Doug Benson got all mad at me on Twitter last night. I'll never understand that--celebs responding to fans like we're in ninth grade. I should start Tweeting @Linds!

B. Profane said...

In hindsight, it seems surprising that a trainwreck like LiLo couldn't get her own reality show. How did that fall through in negotiations?

hunter said...

Wow I'm suddenly interested to hear about her crack tweets. Does anyone ever tweet AT her and tell her she's a F'ing moron, dumbass, embarrassment, loser? I'm genuinely curious about this, please tell me thanks!!

Just Browsing said...

OT - Did I miss something after the A List Racist Blind debacle last week.....did Vicki leave?

She would normally be one of the first to comment on this one!

That being said, I will need to consult with my publicist to determine if I, in fact, had any involvement with the VF article. I'll get back to you, Tom.

good 'ol me said...

i feel so embarrassed for her. weird thing to say...

SusanB said...

I would have cooperated with VF if they had asked me.

As for WWII, I had nothing to do with that. Or the Kennedy assassinations. Please don't ask me about Viet Nam.

goes in circles said...

Lol @Just
B Profane hasn't commented eirher since the whole outing enty debacle.

Agent**It said...

@B.Profane,
Dan Schneider wouldn't give his consent.

hunter said...

Dammit Just Browsing - are you telling me I missed another CDaN debacle?? Those are always a hoot. Yeah I've noticed Vicki hasn't been commenting. I'm sure she's here though (hi Vicki!) ... Now I'm gonna look that shit up, I know the blind you're referring to.

Amber said...

hunter - it was ugly, and TBH it was sad. People did not handle themselves well at all.

Seachica said...

I'd like to say that I had nothing to do with the Vanity Fair article. I'd also like to say that I had nothing to do with Lifetime casting, and my grave is perfectly comfortable with me rolled over in it. Signed, Elizabeth Taylor

Jemtastic said...

Does anyone remember the time Lohan hosted SNL and they made jokes during the opening monologue about her being strung out and in Lifetime movies by 27?

Roman Holiday said...

Ahhh, Lindsey should become a comedian - anything that comes out of her mouth now is just a joke!!!

EmEyeKay said...

@djphob - how did you make him mad? What did you say?

hunter said...

Oh dear Amber that's a shame. :(

auntliddy said...

She really and truly must be mentally ill. Get help

CrazyCatLady said...

I was thinking the exact same thing. As much structure and commitment CO$ demands..
it would probably be a good kick in the butt she needs.

djphob said...

@Em he tweeted some dumb Jersey Shore joke that maaaybe would've been worth a chuckle five years ago. So I replied, "topical!" Then I get a DM from him all, "Actually the show starts next week but thanks". So I said something to the effect of "I'm aware, didn't think it was funny and I know you can be cleverer." So he sent me this bitchy "Sorry I disappointed you" DM. I was like, "Chill dude. It's just feedback. I didn't laugh."

I've usually had good interaction w him but I think he had his Pampers on last night. He must be out of green.

All about Eve said...

You know you are low when not even Scientology wants you! They take anyone but LILO!

E Gee Be said...

Now this is how to start a morning, you guys are hilarious!

EmEyeKay said...

@djphob: testy, testy! Maybe he WAS out ;) You'd think he'd have thicker skin.

Amber said...

@dj & Em - who?! Are you both on Twitter?

dia papaya said...

Laughter on Friday!!! That's amazical!!!

I will also deny any part of the VF interview. But I'm pretty sure PHG getting naked was definitely my fault.

Thanks Libby! Interesting point Jemtastic. Maybe she's psychic after all. And DJ please let us know what he said.

smashbash said...

I just want to add. I had nothing to do with the VF article. I, however, can not confirm nor deny being outside of Tommy's window all night holding a boombox over my head playing "in your eyes"

parissucksliterally said...

She seriously needs to just OD already.

dia papaya said...

LOL smashie! I LOVE that movie!! Lloyd Dobbler 4 evah!

Is that you with the fish? OMG! It's so big. You know I have never been fishing. I both want to and find it super creepy at the same time.

smashbash said...

Love that movie too! And better off dead! Such a catchy theme song for that one.

Yes, this is me with my large mouth bass. :) I caught it all myself. I actually caught a little fish then the little fish was sort of swallowed by the big one. Both fish were fine! It was one little hook that was in almost the same spot on both fish. I was almost peeing myself laughing! It was so funny and exciting!

I love to fish, I usually only catch little brook trout he has in the pond. But his friend caught 12 big guys in the sound and put them in the pond, it is fun to catch and release. Always good to have a man on hand as well! Sometimes I get a little jumpy :)

Sorry for the long OT rant friends :)

Agent**It said...

Ms Lohen:
Why we know you are not Co$:

You don't have enough money to join Co$ AND since you live in front of personal cameras, we already know everything gross about you. So,C0$ would have nothing on you. Not a good match.

Why don't you tweet: Hey, Tommy, Where's Shelly?

smashbash said...

Dia- also, fishing with worms, or even fish eggs, is uber bad. The fish will swallow the entire hook. So we don't use any bait and it usually gets caught on their lip.

So it is not so creepy just casting a fishing line with a shiny fly on the end.

Amber said...

Glad you had fun, smash!!

dia papaya said...

Thanks Smash! You must have written that just as I writting on the other post!

You look super happy!

smashbash said...

OHhh. And you want to talk about creepy looking fish. Our friend showed us pictures from him fishing in the sound. The nasty looking fish with huge teeth he caught! Some had spikes all down their backs. THAT I would totally be freaked out to do! :) but I would totally try it if someone wants to take me out on their boat ;)

dia papaya said...

My dad wanted to take us fishing circa 1980. I think a few things have changed since then...

This is like Friday at the office. I don't really care about Enty's posts. I'm just gonna talk randomness with peeps all morning and thing about actually work at like 2pm.

dia papaya said...

Oh shit! I am gonna be late for my appointment.

Gotta jet. be back laters!!!

smashbash said...

Thanks amber and dia! This is actually my normal super happy face. The first two pictures he took make me look crazy high on something! I was laughing so hard it was hard to just smile. It is such an adrenaline rush! :) this photo is from 3 weeks ago, this week I only caught 1 little guy.

But I did get a photo of a gray fox!

smashbash said...

Have a good day dia! Catch you later in random photos. :)

EmEyeKay said...

@amber - no ma'am, I'm not on twitter. But I did finally join FB in June! I held out forEVER. I'm not completely anti-establishment, it turns out.

January Girl said...

omg you guys, she just tweeted her prayers to Prince Harry. Does she subscribe to Day-Old News??

Amber said...

@Em - if it weren't for out of state family/friends who would yell at me if I quit, I wouldn't be on FB. Way too much passive-aggressiveness on that thing!

@January - The fact that she's aware of any news period is jaw-dropping!

hollywood dime said...

when there where whispers that Tom was auditioning starlets at the celebrity center 6-7 years ago or whenever, Lindsay WAS one of the girls considered. so was Scarlett johanssen who took the meeting for the 'movie' and promptly excused herself to the ladies room when she figured out what the real deal was, snuck out and never returned. and I got that story damn near first hand.

Agent**It said...

@JanuaryGirl , now if she would just tweet 'Where's Shelly"? .....

goddess. said...

She sounds like she has histrionic personality disorder.

discoflux said...

Bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

That is the funniest shit I have read all day!!

I'm going to start a twitter just for tweeting out to celebrities "Hey man, I just want you to know I had nothing to do with that story in..." It'd be about as relevant.

January Girl said...

@Agent: give her another week, and she'll be all over it. :)

Lucas said...

So many commenters in WA, too bad it sounds like you are all on the we(s)t side.

Seachica said...

There ARE a ton of us in Washington. Would anyone want to get together for a meetup in/around Seattle?

Agent**It said...

@JanuaryGirl, now that would be funny.. and possibly useful :)

tracynator said...

I'm in WA also, Kitsap Co., though.

B. Profane said...

What, there's more state beyond Wenatchee?

The geography of Washington, from West to East, from a skier's perspective:

Suicide-Burgh (aka Aberdeen) -> Olympics (no skiing) -> Valley o' Coffee (lots of geoducks and REI) -> Stevens Pass/Alpental/Crystal Mountain -> Boring flat stuff -> Radioactive wastelands -> Schweitzer Basin

smashbash said...

I would love a little seattle meet up! I am up near northgate mall.

B profane- your so funny. I grew up near San Fran. Moved to horrid Boise for high school then Seattle at age 21. I love the water. The rest of Washington is dry dry! But the cascades, mount Rainer, mount baker, snoqaulime(totally butchered the spelling) pass are all beautiful places. Stay far far away from the islands ;) looking at Victoria is stunning.

Coriander Shea said...
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Wil said...

Aaaand my blissful ignorance of anything Lindsay for the last 4 months is now shattered. However, nice to see she has remained an asshat.

Krissie said...

I haven't read the VF article and don't want to particularly, but Lindsay was definitely considered before Katie Holmes was picked-I've heard that many times. Apparently she was crossed off the list for being "too wild" for Tom's image.

God, she looks like she is lying there dying in that photo.

B. Profane said...

Well I ran all of LiLo's tweets about Liz Taylor through a twelve-dimension lexical analysis engine, and the strong attractors in the scattergram resolved to three magic beans and a URL to an obscene South Park screen grab of Kim Kardashian's vagina. So I hooked back the beans and down the rabbit hole I went. And I awoke in an executive suite in a curiously round tower in Hollywood. Behind the desk was a white rabbit with a passing resemblance to Steven Spielberg, and he told me that apparently I did top that little bitch, Tommy. I just didn't remember doing it because I didn't know that I'm gay. Which, according to CDAN, I am.

Who knew?

Seachica said...

LOL B Profane.

OK folks...if we do a Seattle meetup, it will have to be in October, because I'm on vacation until then (well, leaving for vacay in 2 weeks, but my time is crazy). However, I'm willing to organize it.

yodelay said...

Well I for one had EVERYTHING to do with that VF article & I don't care if Tom Cruise knows about it!
Seriously, does Tom Cruise even tweet?

She must be on a full blown bender because she also RT'd the president that he should cut taxes for those listed in Forbes as millionaires who really aren't. Because that really how the IRS decides how much to tax you, don't ya know, based on what Forbes says you are worth.

I wonder what she's on that makes her so delusional?

Agent**It said...

B.P- wicked awesome that you're gay! All this time I thought you were a ladies man...

astrogirl said...

I have to admit, it's not been quite the same without you B. Your ears must have been burning fierce, you were the talk of the town..

dia papaya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B. Profane said...

I could not believe the depth and intensity of the speculation. I had to laugh about the bit that I'm gay. I'll use that around the office when the women catch me checking out their tits. "It's ok, there's this gossip blog that sez I'm gay."

Lucas said...

Oh man. Stinks there will be a meetup and I won't be able to make it. I'm all the way over in Spokane, which isn't as much of a backwater hick town as people make it out to be.

astrogirl said...

Using that logic, you could probably grab a boob or two and get away with it.

smashbash said...

Trains goood... Planes baaaad. I can't wait to come to Portland! Seattle is fun dia! Especially this time if year, it's a cozy 85.

B- it was funny to watch the newbies try to figure out who you were. I laughed and laughed. Just a man. A man with a plan. Or some shit like that ;)

jaariel said...

I have a call in to my agent to either confirm or deny any association with any media source on anything, or anyone, living, or dead. I will make my announcement via Twitter and Facebook. Thank you for respecting my personal time during this ordeal.

But what I really wanna say is how funny ha-ha it is that instead of being an A+ celebrity guest/presenter at the VMAs, Linds sat at home alone Tweeting about all the people on TV who didn't want to be near her (everyone), and all about the event she was not even invited to. She basically called attention to the fact that she wasnt invited--something that wouldn't have occurred to me to ask about!

oralangee said...

I think Lindsay is involved with the Scientology crap; because one of their punishments for non-complient persons is to have them lick the floor for an hour---the floor would be infested with insects, also. She is so busted in that picture.

chachi said...

My cat, Kali, has asked me to let everyone know that she too had nothing to do with the Vanity Fair article.

Aaaaand, now she's yakkin' up a hairball.

KY Redhead Grrrl said...

I WANT that reality show and I want Honey Boo Boo mama June to be the ONLY judge. Ha ha!

KY Redhead Grrrl said...

@Jemtastic, I actually thought LoHo's SNL skit "Real Housewives of Disney" was a hoot. Watch it on youtube if you've never seen. Mind you, it's the ONLY thing of hers I will ever watch again except maybe "Parent Trap." That SNL clip is priceless though!!!

Michelle said...

@B Profane. Glad to see you posting again. I had been a lurker for over a year before posting. I love the fun, robust banter this site provides. In addition I like the camaraderie.

StellaCreepella said...

Can someone please explain the Tom Cruise 'Where's Shelly' reference?

Hello, fellow, Washingtonians! :)

smashbash said...

Stella- google shelly Miscavage. She is the wife to #1 sciontologist David Miscavage, but she has not been seen in years.

StellaCreepella said...

Thanks Bash, I thought it had something to do with SM but I didn't know she's been MIA. Googling Tom Cruise and Shelly only brings up results for a Tom Cuise, Shelly Long movie :0/