Thursday, September 27, 2012

Man Convicted Of Raping 14 Year Old Who Got Pregnant Is Demanding Visitation

Back in 2009, a man who was 20 at the time raped a 14 year old teen he had met at church. Prosecutors had asked for prison time but instead, the man received 16 years probation. The 14 year old got pregnant as a result of the rape and kept the baby who is now 3. As part of his sentence, the man was forced to admit paternity and to pay child support. Because he is paying child support, he is eligible to also try and have visitation with the child and that is what he has filed in a Boston court. Can you imagine having to share custody or communicating with your rapist for your entire life because he wants to be a part of the child's life? The victim says she still suffers from anxiety and depression. Imagine how she will feel if she has to see her rapist all the time or discuss the child.

119 comments:

SueRH said...

Wait, I thought women couldn't get pregnant from being raped?

Caitlin Costanzo said...

She's an idiot for even having the child..
I get the whole anti abortion thing but she's raising the spawn of an evil man and has to be reminded of him every day. Girl is an idiot.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

HAHAHAHAAHAHA! YESSSSS

goes in circles said...

Guess she wasn't raped so she better get over it. :/

*karen* said...

This is something that men accused of rape often do, generally before they go to court or are sentenced. It's a way to intimidate the rape victim/pregnant mother into dropping rape charges so that he'll leave her alone in the future.

It sickens me to the core.

goes in circles said...

Caitlin,
She was FOURTEEN!!!

rejectedcarebear said...

I feel for this girl and I respect her right to keep her baby. Its sad that this sack of shit is able to have custody rights, seems like some law needs to be changed in MA.

shauniebear said...

@Caitlin, calling the girl an idiot for not having an abortion is harsh..it was her CHOICE, as it should be.

*karen* said...

@Caitlin, I think that's incredibly insensitive. The girl was 14 years old when she was raped. That's not exactly a great age to be forced into making decisions like that.

Also, I thought the pro-choice movement was about CHOICE. She made hers. If you want people to respect women who choose to abort after rape, women who choose not to abort after rape deserve the same consideration.

Syko said...

Child support does not entitle you to visitation, nor does visitation require the payment of child support.

At the risk of sounding like a Republican, was this a jump-out-of-an-alley-grab-her-and-throw-her-down-rape, or two young people who met at church and got carried away? I'm not making light of the second situation, rape is rape, but she chose to keep the child. You don't have to abort, there is still the choice of adoption. So is she going to have to deal with interacting with some thug who randomly leaped on her, or some guy she knew who went too far?

Nothing is black and white. Most of us don't care for our exes and part of the hardship of being a divorced mother is dealing with this guy who annoys you until the kids are grown and even after that at times.

hunter said...

Maybe the poor girl's parents made that choice for her, sucks.

SusanB said...

agree with karen,shauniebear,and goes in circles. It was her choice. If it had been me, I would have given the child up for adoption, but that's just me.

What infuriates me is why didn't this guy get jail time??? 16 years probation?? Shame on Massachusetts! (sp?) And yeah, the law needs to be changed and she needs to move to a state that wouldn't allow this. I assume there ARE states that wouldn't allow this?

MAC said...

Well said *karen*.

misspoppypants said...

"Girl" may not have had a choice in the matter. Girl's parents may have made that decision for her. Quit being a twat. Who are you to judge?

Jessi said...

Ummmm this thread is sickening to me! Wow!

Roman Holiday said...

If the courts allow this to happen - then we are all doomed! I really feel bad that this girl has to even think that this might happen!!

It is bad enough that they have already approved an inmates sex change operation in MA., that we the people will be paying for!!

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Girl is 14...
You're allowed BY LAW to make every health decision at age 13.

Btw nice name hah

timebob said...

The only IDIOT I see in this story is the Judge who didn't sentence that animal to jail time.

I used to be friends with someone who was a child of rape. His mother loved him with her heart and soul and never blamed the child for the sins of the Father. He was a very well adjusted person for his circumstances.

Saffron said...

I don't know the background since NO LINKS were posted to the source but COME ON people!! Here's a 14 year old rape victim who does not receive the receive the morning-after pill?

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Hey, I'm just saying I feel like she is an idiot.
I can have my opinion.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Oh my gosh! I just realized..
This is probably a STAUTORY rape case since she was 14 and he was 20..•

donner said...

There are many republicans in office right now trying to get laws passed so this kind of thing will be common. I'd bet any money this that if it happened to their own child, they'd never let it happen. Choice is one thing. Being forced to have a child of rape is another. I shudder at the thought of rape victims being forced to have this situation to live with.

Magnus 21 Gunz said...

According to the Republicans she would've never got pregnant in the first place if it was really rape.

Perhaps her anxiety and depression is really because her own body turned against her and didn't protect her from pregnancy...... Cuz we all know the Republicans are on the cutting edge of medicine.

Oh yeah and they're always right.

Bwahahahahaahahahahah

I couldn't even type this with a str8 face!

Nellie said...

Oh my god. This thread is making me sick.

themagicspork said...

Link to the story
http://www.myfoxboston.com/story/19628763/2012/09/24/rapist-wants-visitation-rights-teen-mom-fighting-back

I really feel for her and I don't think the girl is stupid. I find her brave to still keep and raise the child. I don't think she should be subject to arrange visitation with the POS father. If her raped her, then what would he try to do the child. I dunno, this makes me sick all around. I hope the judge sides with the mother.

eris hilton said...

oh my god i want her to look Paul Ryan in the eye and tell him her story. For those of you questioning why she didn't have an abortion... it's extremely possible she didn't have that option. In more and more places, it's becoming more and more difficult to get one. So, so sad.

katsm0711 said...

Yeah that's what all republicans believe.....

crila16 said...

@Karen. I completely agree with you. It was her choice to keep it, because that was obviously her belief. I understand the child was conceived out of anger (which is what rape is), but the child is still innocent. I think it was very brave of the 14 year old to keep a child that would remind her for the rest of her life about this horrible incident.

Crystal said...

@Caitlin Costanzo said...
Hey, I'm just saying I feel like she is an idiot.
I can have my opinion.

And we can have ours. YOU are the idiot!!!

Sadly this happens all the time.

katsm0711 said...

If u don't agree with @caitlin why not nicely explain how she offended you? Maybe just maybe she will go 'oh, my bad, that's so not what I meant. Here's what I meant... It didn't come out right bc I typed in a hurry" she said her age on another post and she's pretty young so help her, dot jump on her. And MAYBE you can come to a meeting of the minds? Don't worry I'm not going to respond to every post here, I just had to say that bc it's not nice to jump on her when it looks like her words didn't come out right if you read her next post...

figgy said...

I wouldn't call her keeping the baby "brave," rather, terribly terribly misguided. She's still a child; wasn't there anyone in her life to advise her/guide her to give the baby up? Sure, if she's opposed to abortion then I can see giving birth (though I think that's unfortunate too, in this case) but for heaven's sake, for the sake of the baby and her own developing self, there is NO good reason to keep the baby and try to raise it alone. What a tragedy.

Chilie said...

second Cystal's post.

@Caitlin Costanzo, for an adult, you are remarkably immature.

figgy said...

Please please please can we all NOT attack each other here? NO calling names. That just drags down what is an otherwise fun diverting web site.

babo said...

@ Caitlin: everybody is entitled to their opinion on any topic, but when the topic is such a traumatic one (rape, sexual violence ...), expressing these opinions with a bit more measure and tact will go a long way and will not harm the slightest your constitutional rights.

In the debate for freedom of speech, people often mix the content itself and the way in which it is expressed. Sadly.

*karen* said...

@figgy, it seems as though she lives with her parents and they are helping her raise the child. I wouldn't consider that to be doing it alone. I think that she's lucky to have parents who supported what was probably a very difficult decision.

I think it would be equally tragic to have an abortion forced on a 14-year old who doesn't want it.

Layna Day said...

Being that she is 14 years old, it's possible that her parents, along with counsel, may have convinced the girl to give birth and keep the child.

It's not a choice I would have made, but I won't criticize what they did. It's their decision, theirs alone.

As far as the rapist, I don't care if it was 'real' rape or 'date' rape. He was 20 years who took advantage of a 14 year old on some level. Since he was forced to acknowledge paternity, I assume that he was trying to shy away from his responsibility, likely to cover up the rape.

He shouldn't have visitation rights, IMO. This child wasn't conceived in love or even lust. It was due to him manipulating his situation. He has no say-so in this matter. If the child wants to meet him 10 years from now, that's one thing. But for now, let him stay away.

MISCH said...

This is so wrong in every way...

figgy said...

Agreed @Karen, I wouldn't force an abortion on ANYone, that would be criminally cruel. I respect the opinions of those who don't want to abort.

...but I still don't think that's a great situation either. Even if Grandma's helping, letting a girl that age shoulder the emotional responsibility of motherhood...?

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

What figgy said--I, too, have a very low opinion of the politicians who've spouted ignorant drivel regarding women's issues recently, but let's keep the general level of meanness to a minimum, OK?

While I disagree with this girl's decision, as a lifelong pro-choice supporter I recognize that this was her choice to make and her decision, and I respect that. What we need to work on now is guaranteeing that neither she nor any other women in her situation are re-victimized by their rapists in this way; I guarantee that 99.9% of the males (I refuse to call them "men") pulling this stunt aren't doing it because they care about the kid, but to feel powerful by inflicting even more damage on the victims and their loved ones. And no, I don't know the story behind the judge who came up w/the half-assed verdict, but perhaps I should do some digging, because I'd like to hear what his justification was for basically letting off a guy guilty not only of rape, but statutory rape to boot. Grrrrrrrr..... In the meantime, contact your state reps and find out if any laws are pending regarding this kind of situation, and if not, why not?

Snoopy said...

Caitlin = troll - just ignore her and maybe she will fade away

*karen* said...

@figgy, I agree that a 14-year old isn't mature enough to be a mom--I used to be an 8th grade teacher and those kids weren't responsible enough to write down their homework much less raise a child.

If it was my daughter, I'd recommend giving the baby up for adoption, but if she chose to raise him/her, I'd do everything I could to help. And that's what I would have wanted someone to do for me if I was her. Taking the decision away from her, even to help her future, just takes control away from a situation where she didn't have much control to begin with. Control issues then become the basis of other problems like eating disorders.

Lalaay said...

WOW! All of your anger needs to be directed at the 20 year-old! The nerve on this douchebag! I think he is probably pissed that he has to pay for child support, I hope they up the child support and turn over his probation to jail time! The dumb fuck deserves to never see his child unless the child chooses to when they are older!

All about Eve said...

Either way, she was fourteen and still traumatized by the experience. You can't compare this to having to see your ex husband!

All about Eve said...

How can you be sure that's what she wanted and not what her parents told her to do? As everyone keeps stating, she was fourteen in a very scary situation and at that age it's easy for the parents to push their decision on her

Renoblondee said...

He is vile. I would not accept 1 dime of his money, personally. No judging on them though.

misspoppypants said...

I doubt the law makes a whole lot of difference to a traumatized girl who doubtless had trouble making decisions. I do not understand your contempt. You sound ridiculous to be railing about a 14 year old.

*karen* said...

@All About Eve, in the article that is mentioned above, the girl said that she made the decision. She didn't say whether her parents pressured her.

auntliddy said...

I dont deal with what ifs, I deal with what is. So this evil snake wants contact with his kid? The judge wld hv to be INSANE to allow that. He may molest kid. He will make mother dangerous unstable. The child is result of rape, how does he explain that as child grows older. I see nothing but heartache and misery if any judge goes along with this. (what she could, would or should have done is not germaine to this problem.)

All about Eve said...

No court in this land should grant rapists rights over children born out of their crimes! It's sickening!

As a pro choice supporter I respect her decision to keep the baby because that's what being pro choice is, respecting the woman's choice but I do have to wonder if it was truly her choice or her parents? And why wasn't she given the emergency contraception? Isn't that standard when someone is raped? A lot of questions

g.strathmore said...

This man is heinous. I hate to say it, but this is a time when hiring a hitman is in order. Maybe the hitman would even consider it a mitzvah and do it for free.

__-__=__ said...

I think this is so sad. Seems like adoption would have forever protected the kid from the rapist. Wouldn't those records be sealed? I would have to go to court and immediately sign over custody and let the law take it from there. No way would I continue to involve myself with that guy, even considering statutory rape. What a hard life. As if life isn't hard enough without all this drama.

themagicspork said...

Maybe the rape came to light after she found out she was pregnant. It wasn't stated when they found out about it just that the mom went to police to press charges. She probably was terrified and kept it to herself after it happened.

*karen* said...

The girl said that the guy threatened her, though the context was unclear (whether it was so that she'd let him have sex with her or whether it was so she wouldn't tell anyone). If I was a scared 14-year old, I might not have gone to my parents right away, either.

Lalaay said...

Forgot to add she needs to get a restraining order for her and her kid!

SueRH said...

I can't imagine a 14 year old having to go through childbirth. Ugh! :(

53keys said...

Back off. A great many of us that believe in the right to life also believe that this girl had a right to a choice the day she was raped. Stop lumping us all with that Akin congressman.

For once, think of the kid instead of the uterus. What is in the best interest of the kid would be what? Do you know the relationship between the two of them? Why do we decide this stuff in the courts instead of in the homes?

Oh! that's right, because society has become so degraded by a LACK OF BASIC MORALITY that we can't be trusted to make decisions for ourselves anymore.

Oh! And while I am on the subject, while you are bad mouthing conservatives for wanting people to take responsibility for themselves, take a look at where this kind of thinking has taken us, did anyone even listen to what was said at the UN yesterday? About freedom of speech taking a back seat to the respect of other cultures?

Rome is burning and the citizens are still worried about who is screwing whom.

Good luck you guys.

Layna Day said...

I don't think any group has the patent on morality and decency. And there is no rule that says anyone has to agree to anyone else's sense of ethics.

As far as Rome burning--if it does, we all go down. No one gets out alive. It's good to remember. So grab some water to put out this fire!

car54 said...

I would never try to say what some other woman "should" do in this kind of situation. She made a choice and somehow blaming her for this because she kept and is raising and loves her child and doesn't want to be exposed to someone who raped her is beyond me.

She is the victim here--and no court should force her to expose herself or her child to someone who raped her. The child should have the option when it is of age to be in contact with the biological father if it wants that. The father--raping a 14 yr old is technically also a child molester--and I can't understand why he got probation and no real sentence or that any court is exposing an innocent child to him.

FS said...

It's a shame to see so many, especially women, jump to the worst conclusions about this case without taking two minutes to get more information.

1. Yes, it was rape. No, it was not regret.

2. For some reason, this case went to family court, not criminal court. Probably because a little bit of time elapsed between the crime and reporting it. The child didn't want to, her mother took her to the police (yay Mom).

3. The judge thought paying child support would be a good punishment. The girl's lawyers are trying to get that changed from "child support" to "restitution". Calling it child support is the loophole that gave the rapist the right to seek visitation.


To see the victim blaming in this thread saddens me.

Cornbread said...

I haven't read through all the comments, so if this has already been said, I apologize (and please don't jump my case) but...

I would like to know if this was a case of statutory rape...parents found out she was pregnant, pressed charges, etc. A girlfriend of mine started dating her now-husband when she was 14 and he was 21 - obviously weird, sick, and a potential statutory rape case waiting to happen.

Just playing devil's advocate, and looking at both sides.

whocaresnow12 said...

If he's a registered sex offender the courts will deny any contact.

dizzyeggs said...

i'm not even going to dip my toes in the angry stuff above. yikes. i just want to know why he wasn't charged with statutory rape...? surely boston, mass courts are a little more progressive...?

Kewi said...

Did anyone stop to think that MAYBE the girl was too scared to tell anyone right away? The article says he threatened her so why are you assholes (you know who you are) trying to persecute this INNOCENT girl? As a rape victim myself (I was around her age) I find a lot of these comments to be nauseating and just plain distasteful. Instead of turning this into a witch trial, try having some compassion for another human being and pay that this doesn't happen to your children.

Kewi said...

*pray

urban chaos said...

As a mother and a woman I am horrified by some of the above commentary. People should write this judge and place public/media pressure on him until this isn't an option for this male POS.

The young girl made the best choice for her at that moment in time and none of us should stand in judgement of her decision. I, for one, will always defend the right of CHOICE- including this girls' choice to raise this baby.
How disgusting though, that she should be further shamed/punished by even entertaining such an idea.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

I didn't even think of that!
Very sad. Def. I retract my statement lol

Autumn said...

It's terrible to say but a 14 year old CHILD should not have been able to make the very ADULT decision of keeping a child. Adoption should have been pushed here.


However, it's still a sad, disgusting situation & it sucks that this man seems to have not gotten a proper punishment at all.

SashaJames2 said...

Whao Caitlin! Can't believe someone can be so mean and say something so nasty about a child that was raped. It's her decision and her prerogative. My ex boyfriend who is one of the greatest and nicest people I know is a product of rape as well. When his mum was 15, she was dragged off the street and raped. She kept him thankfully and today he is a very successful CEO and stand up guy. He is 49 years old now and only found out the circumstances of his birth 2 years ago. But the good news is, he has been nothing but a blessing to his mum.
So my point is, sometimes miracles can come out from a horrible story like that. While I might not keep a pregnancy like that, I still I'm not in a place to make judgement.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Aww thanks bud!
And I'm 22.. 14 wasn't that long ago.

But seriously, thank you! And I did retract my statement.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

It's not like I made an anti Muslim movie.. Jeeze Louise! You guys are way too passionate about a comment.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Hey, I was just being blunt.
Clearly, I didn't know very much about the incident other than the post until now.
I feel bad that I apparently offended people but this is the site I goto to talk crap, ya know?

I feel like I shouldn't have been pounced on for a bitchy comment lol

misspoppypants said...

It seems to me that a 'sex offender' as defined by the court should have no access to any child. He raped one, why supply him with options. End of story.

LetLoveRule said...

g.strathmore, you are making sense to me.

If this happened to my kid, I promise you, he wouldn't dare visit. If the system wouldn't keep him away from us, a belly full of lead would. I'd happily do time to protect my family.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

this is f*cked up, but the idiocracy of it all is the world we live in, sadly.

lord knows I live in a state where your parental rights are immediately terminated if marijuana plants are found in your home (but that's conditional, b/c not if you're an informant)...yet not if you are found guilty of raping your own child. American Justice - right there.

jax said...

why Caitlin, what makes you so special? you come her to talk shit, expect shit coming back at you.

personal responsibility: learn it!




katsm0711 said...

I was shocked at a few things Caitlin has said, and then I saw this which stuck in my head from the post Madonna needs to stop trying so hard:

"Blogger Caitlin Costanzo said...

And also, this is totally unrelated but! I would like to say that I'm 22, Gaga is only a few years older than me, like 26?
Anyways, I don't know Madonna other than the occasional song of hers that comes on in a bar..
I have no idea how "influential" she was, since I wasn't alive during that time, like Gaga.
So how could Gaga steal something someone did before she was even alive??

That's why I feel that Caitlin is not a troll but a kid that just hasn't learned to think before she speaks. Up above after her original post she posted an "oh wait, I didn't think of..." so either she's a troll trying to encourage more posts or just a dumb kid, which I think we all were at some point.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Lol I don't even know what a troll is but I just really enjoy this site..
Anyways! I do speak before I think and I am a bit bitchy sometimes lol

But really, thank you for defending me. Seriously.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Look, half of these people called me names because I called someone an idiot..
I didn't retaliate, I didn't call anyone names back, and I didn't know I was being talked about ALL day because of a comment I made
My name on here is my real name so I'm obviously not hiding anything, including how I feel, and to be perfectly honest, idk why SO many people got offended. I didn't go religious or political, I just felt, at the time, with the information I had, that she was being dumb but! I was dumb at 14.. Everyone is.

katsm0711 said...

Anytime. But PLEASE change your name. It's not a matter of not being afraid to show who u r, it's safety. Like, the most basic thing u should know when u get on the Internet. Read the post a week ago about the 15 year old who was murdered off of FB and that's only one of a thousand stories.

Coriander Shea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
doctressjulia said...

And here is more confirmation that men see girls and women as interchangeable and disposable sexual service stations. Useful objects. I hope she can file a restraining order or something... she has been through ENOUGH.

I agree that the misogyny and victim-blaming in this thread are sickening.

VASECTOMIES.

doctressjulia said...

Oh yeah: Cornbread, NO. You are not playing "devil's advocate". You are espousing your own misogynist views and too cowardly to own up to them. You have NO CLUE what it is to be in this young woman's shoes... or any woman's, for that matter.

There aren't "two sides" to this case. NO WAY.

auntliddy said...

I say again: deal with what IS, not what could/would/should have been. It applies across the board. Personally, i eouldnt dream if judging a 14 yr old rape victom who became pregnant. This was not her choice. We can only jope foe the best

tflamb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tflamb said...

As the GOP says, a baby from rape means it wasn't really rape. Clearly the 14 year old wanted it because her anti-baby trap didn't engage. I Fox News said it was in the bible and stuff. Speaking of, according to the bible, the 14 year is supposed to marry her rapist because she got pregnant and then do whatever he commands as the bible teaches she is subservient to his needs.

So really, going by Republicans men who are experts on all things woman related, the girl is really at fault for this entire situation and rapist was the victim since she refused to allow her anti-baby defenses to kick in while having carnal relations outside of marriage.

Sherry said...

Wow this sounds like punishment from a backwards country, such as the one where the girl was raped and as "punishment" they made the rapist marry her since she was now damaged goods.

If this did go to "family" court as mentioned, the judge there is still an idiot. I mean I know there is a letter to the law but let's also use some common sense.
And I agree that the rapist wants to get something for the money he's paying and is using this as payback for it. It's another ploy to over power his victim, because rape is about power and not sex.

@Caitlin, it was nice of you to rethink your position and apologize. However for someone of 22 and trying to be an actor, you don't seem very mature or are at the very least extremely clueless. I can imagine you must come across as a little "dumb" because you did to me. Not to insult you.

IF you want to do serious acting and not just settle for some jiggle girl act then experience the world, walk a mile in someone's shoes, read everything you can and educate yourself.

Trust me you'll be happy you did.

katsm0711 said...

Not all republicans are anti choice. Some of us have exercised our right to choose... I honestly don't see that right ever being taken away from Americans no matter who's in office. Notice that they run on extreme sides but once they get elected they even out somewhat.

katsm0711 said...

I'm pretty sure the account is fake. It's toooo stereotypical isn't it? Wannabe actress, the tone of her comments, the pic, the mentioning that it's her real name. It seems too much a cry for help similar to former posts about young girls getting in trouble. It seems to me someone with her persona would know exactly what a troll is. I'll still defend her (which is more going after the people who attack different opinions) but I mean, it seems obvious.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Wait, WHAAAA? Actress?
I'm in school.... Not to be an actress lol
And idk why you guys think I'm a fake person.. You can fb me.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

I really wanted too but idk how to..
Is it through google plus?

Caitlin Costanzo said...

I honestly Dk where you got that from, the actress thing..

Caitlin Costanzo said...

But the notepad thing is an AMAZING idea!
I've only even on this site, at most a month, and I wish I read that immediately lol
Thank you very much!

Caitlin Costanzo said...

*been haha should har used notepad for that one ;]

Caitlin Costanzo said...

And I just read the full comment..
I appreciate your honesty and I really don't take anything personal, that anyone says about me, who hasn't met me. It's not a big deal and I respect your opinion.
Sorry for posting so much btw

Coriander Shea said...

I double-checked my comments, and yes Caitlin, I did confuse you for another user. I apologize.

That being said, I am checking out of this thread.

Alicia said...

Trolls aside there has been some really unpleasant commentary on this thread! I think doctressjulia summed it up perfectly

Caitlin Costanzo said...

It's okay!!
Me too. I'm kind of sick of defending myself.
But please guys, don't attack me if I post an opinion in another thread.

Lisa B. said...

My God Caitlin, even your Facebook isn't private. Girl, you should change that quick.
We read stories on this site all the time about lack of privacy and it's sometimes terrible consequences.
I don't pray but I will send good vibes your way tonight.

alliwholovessomuch said...

its great that caitlin could see the light after all. I must admit ur comment kinda pee'd me off as I was raped at 15....I kept reading though and kept an open mind about u and I'm glad I did I thought u handled myself well. don't worry we all say shit we regret, its part of growing up :)as for this poor child who we are talking about maybe the rape came to light after they found out she was pregnant? I got the morning after pill automatically when I got checked and that was 15 years ago....a child can bring so much joy I hope that's what she feels and that she recovers from this...

alliwholovessomuch said...

the 20 year old is a sex offender! how did he pull this off? I agree he should have no rights regarding the kid. that's like profiting off ur crime right? I hope the right thing is done.

Sherry said...

@Caitlin I was about to needle you a bit for not reading the entire comment through and say, "reading comprehension is our friend" and then it dawned on me that I did the same thing. *Slaps Forehead* Doh!

I don't know where I got that you were an aspiring actress but it just proves the point most people do try to make...It behooves us all to do the proper research, read a full comment and think about our words before we post. Kindness means everything. If you disagree, disagree with their position but calling people names doesn't bolster anyone's position.

Caitlin Costanzo said...

Whaaaa? No way! I thought it was private!!!! Haha and yeah, you guys are right!!
Btw I googled what troll means, I'm not that.. FYI

Marie said...

Love a good shit storm thread!

I think there are a lot of people who have decided what the best course of action would have been for this young girl. Caitlin didn't word her ideas very well, but she is not the only one with their very own conclusion. She should have adopted, taken the morning after pill, there's not enough support for her... Seriously?

No one knows this poor young girl and no one knows the situation. We read all the time about bad parents but there are good parents out there too. Don't assume that the (grand)parents in this case forced her to do anything - you don't know! Perhaps they discussed all options and consequences with her and promised to support her no matter what her choice? I hope that's what I'd do in the same situation.

I remember when I was young my mother telling me that if I got pregnant she would raise the baby. And I have no doubt she would not only have done that, but she would have done it well.

The focus here should be on the asshole rapist trying to have his 'rights' recognized. What rights can you have when they come about as the product of your crime? I can see why the judge sentenced him the way he did, he was trying to help the girl out by getting her child support, obviously, but if this guy thinks he should get to see the kid he is out of his mind. Thank your lucky stars you're not in jail, buddy, and leave this poor girl alone.

astrogirl said...

allwholovessomuch thanks for sharing your story, it takes courage to speak up about rape.

I hope your doggies bring home a win for you this weekend. :)

CamColty said...

I wasn't that ignorant at 22. You're typing not talking. There's a filter. What if you we're this poor girl ?

alliwholovessomuch said...

thanx astrogirl, I was a lil anxious bout sharing but u have made me feel better bout that...u must not be a storm fan then hehe go the mighty doggies-thanks again-and me too lol been too long since the last one! its gonna be a great game anyhow I can't wait!!! :) I swear the days have been going so slow :(

MadLyb said...

@Caitlin Costanzo - that is the most heartless thing I've ever seen in these comments. You are calling a 14 year old who got raped an idiot for having the baby? WT living F?

The story is bad enough, but some of the comments are just horrible. A young girl was RAPED. She ended up having the baby for whatever reason. We don't know, so it would be ridiculous to judge her. She likely did not have a choice given the war on women in this country and how hard it is to get an abortion in some states - or even birth control for that matter. My daughter has friends who have to hop from pharmacy to pharmacy in hopes of getting a prescription for birth control filled because the fucking pharmacist feels it's against HIS beliefs dispense it. And now her rapist wants visitation rights. Holy Christ. Some days I want off this fucking planet with too many grotesque beings.

Andy said...

This was a Lifetime movie plot once. I didn't think it was possible.

Jennmcn said...

I don't understand why the judge didn't terminate his parental rights and have him pay "restitution" instead of child support. All of this done after the rapist got out of jail. This poor girl and her child are the one's who are getting punished.

elspeth said...

@Syko, Thank you for your nuanced response. To be honest, I haven't read all of the posted responses including the link to an article about the situation. S i'd have to be the last to give her advice. It IS her choice.


My heart breaks for the girl/mother. She is in a no win situation unless she loves and treasures her baby.

Kraymond19 said...

Thank you @misspoppypants! Where exactly do 14 year olds get to make their own medical decisions... "BY LAW"?

Kraymond19 said...

I was starting to think I was the only one! Caitlin is a very bored, lonely person who never got over the idea that ANY attention is good attention. (troll)

Kraymond19 said...

LOL!

Kraymond19 said...

Punctuation is your friend, asshole! (just talkin' crap, ya know?).

Redd said...

You're allowed BY LAW to make every health decision at age 13. - This might not be the case in the State in which this then 14 year old lives. If the offender gets his right to visitation- any reasonable Court would make the visitation supervised- IF it was granted at all. The mother would not have to be present. There are agencies specifically designed to manage Court Ordered supervision. Chances are the "father" probably would not follow through with visitation after the first few anyway. I have been a legal assistant for many years and I have seen this too many times. Any child support he is paying should be set aside in a trust fund for this child, it is only fair and reasonable. And Caitlin, find someplace else to name call- not attractive.

PuggleMommy said...

This post really bothers me. I'm a completely pro choice, I don't think I would be able to go through with a pregnancy as a result of rape. I would never say a woman who goes through with having the child is an idiot. Who knows if she really wanted the child, or if it was the choice of the parents for her to have it. Unless you have been in that position you have zero room to judge.

PuggleMommy said...

Also "girl" was a basically a child when raped. Have some fucking respect.

PuggleMommy said...

You're 22, not 12. I'm 25, and find your age as an excuse ridiculous.

PuggleMommy said...

Wow, you are dim. It isn't about being a "dumb" 14 year old, ass.