Friday, September 14, 2012

Zombie Attacks Move To Pennsylvania


The wave of zombie attacks sweeping the country have moved north from Florida to Pennsylvania. In what could be one of the more bizarre attacks, a 20 year old man stripped to his underwear and then attempted to break into a house at about 4:30 a.m. The home owner chased him off. Of course, he realized his mistake at the time was that he actually left his underwear on so he took those off and found a vacant house to break into and he waited. He then jumped out of a second story window through the glass and confronted two women on the street before grabbing one of them and began gnawing on her head while screaming like an animal. Police arrived and used tasers to stop the man. Look at the house above. Who is going to walk past that house while it is dark anyway? You are just asking for trouble.

37 comments:

Amy said...

What ad is coming up with all the talking on this site? I cannot find it to either silence it or delete click off it or whatever, and this is getting old.

Mish said...

@Amy - the ad is at the very bottom of the page. sooooo annoying!

rejectedcarebear said...

Wonderful. Luckily this isn't close to where I live.

curlyhairslacker said...

@Amy-agreed! So annoying!

Was he on bath salts too? I can't fathom being messed up enough to gnaw on someone's face!?

Del Riser said...

Houses too close to the road aren't the problem, face eating nut jobs are the problem!

FrenchGirl said...

Enty,the zombies don't exist! stop to read WAR ZONE Z (it's not the reality! it's a fictional book)
These peoples were not zombies

SueRH said...

There's so many ads popping around that it's considerably slowed down the speed of this site. Fail.

Roman Holiday said...

I agree, I wouldn't walk this road at that time in the morning, now in the city I would walk with no problem!

smashbash said...

Ohhhhh crap. If this isn't a sign of the impending doom we face, I really don't know why will be the sign (or if I even want to know).

But on a serious note.
Everyone should have 1 weeks or more worth of water for your entire family including pets.
Atleast a month worth of food for everyone including pets.
Cat litter extra litter pans (hopefully the cats won't be eatin by the zombies first).
Garbage bags.
Machete. (also great for chopping wood if your axe breaks)
Axe
Guns and bullets where legal.
A months worth ganja (I would atleast like to die high as can be, because that shit is not going to feel good).
Am/fm two way radio
Rope
Duct tape
Toilet paper


lostathome said...

Fuck no. That house is a murder hideout waiting to happen. I hope the lady will be ok.

B said...

Great, now they're coming towards my neck of the woods.

Why doesn't Enty provide links with news stories?

Layna Day said...

George Romero's Dead movies are always set in Pittsburgh. It's life imitating art.

Dee Lurker said...


@smashbash I think a list like that is handy for even a rainy day- wait-chocolate was implied yes?

Roman Holiday said...

smashbash, you forgot munchies:)

Kewi said...

@B my thoughts exactly, they're getting closer, here's the link

http://m.thetimes-tribune.com/news/police-naked-bloody-screaming-man-gnawed-woman-s-head-after-jumping-from-window-1.1372247

kelgela said...

When I was younger, our basement was filled with emergency stuff. Food, water, toilet paper...you name it, we had it. We moved and used it all up and now we have nothing.

Anyway, as long as they don't come to the midwest, I'm good.

Agent**It said...

Enty,
Sounds like a flashback from the life and times of RDJ and Slash.

Lola said...

I'm sure he's from Florida.

smashbash said...

Dee lurker- damn it! Chocolate yes. And some dried fruit and nuts. But also lots of chocolate.

B said...

Thanks, Kewi!

smashbash said...

Roman holiday- I wrote that while half asleep and not stoned hahaha. If I were it would have just been m&m's, pringles, doritos, rolos, my personal favorite sour strings.

Melinda9 said...

Here in New England a large percentage of the houses look like that - if you didn't want to walk past them, you couldn't do much walking.
Still, I always carry pepper spray when I walk my dog - first it was only at night - now I carry it all the time to fend off the random pit bull or bath salts devotee.

car54 said...

Ruh roh. They're coming my way. I have the food and water stuff--no pets, but I might buy a machete this weekend, just in case.

Slim said...

I'm getting the hell out of NYC. Too close for me.

Agent**It said...

car54 and other Bostonians, go to any old bar in Southie or the North End and tell them I sent you. Double tap the pub's door and you'll be fine:)

selenakyle said...

Zombies my ass.

It's from Spice and/or bath Salts.

Just fucking legalize pot and other "regular" drugs already and people won't take that crazy shit.

JMO.



T. E. Cuz said...

Why did this guy do this? Is it drugs? Are people just getting more and more messed up? I'm getting paranoid...

auntliddy said...

some weird shit going down.

Mari said...

They're coming to get you, Barbara!

Roman Holiday said...

@Agent - I go to the North End on the regular so I dont' have to tell 'emn you sent me. They know I am there:) If it gets me free food and drink then I just might mention your name! P.S. I hate name dropping and people who do it!!!

iheartjacksparrow said...

This is why the CDC wants everyone to prepare for the Zombie Pandemic!

http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies/#/page/1

bobbi_1025 said...

This house looks better than over half in Jax. There is a radio ad playing that says "Take a scenic drive through Jacksonville, with your doors locked, windows locked, and drive real fast."

OT but next month the CMN is having a fundraiser here that is a zombie run. You sign your kids up and zombies will chase them through a 1 mile obstacle course. They get dog tags and a t-shirt once completed.

rejectedcarebear said...

Yes!! Solid Shaun reference Mari!

Vicky said...

Actually something similar has happened several times up in Connecticut- they just keep it hush hush and bury it in the paper. The most recent was a naked guy who broke into a retired mans home. The homeowner came down with his shot gun, the naked guy attacked and bit the homeowner on the arm- homeowner shoved guy off and shot him, several times. The guy would not go down, but he did flee the house. The cops eventually found the naked guy wading around in the pond in the back of the house, still not reacting to the gun shot wounds.

raven said...

I am sure they are on their way to the Evan's City Cemetery. I have been part of the grass roots effort to save the Chapel there. Was used in NOTLD. And I am proud to say it was a success. Is now being fixed up. I am sure the Zombies are on their way there.

rejectedcarebear said...

The original DOTD was filmed at the mall in my town so I'm basically screwed. The zombs will return one day and they'll want to shop!

Cornbread said...

These stories fuel my husband's "bath salts/zombies are a government conspiracy" stories. He thinks we'll be sending these face-gnawers overseas to eat all the terrorists. Some of this theory makes sense, though. Testing it here before unleashing it there.

These stories just make me want to have a George Romero marathon.