You know I love it when you send in your dating profiles and things that have gone on in your dating life
. This is a really good one sent in by a reader.
So here's the background. I was at work when an old friend, B, showed up with his friend Colin. (real name must be used). I said I would join them after work. I went to my car to take my jersey off because I didn't want to drink in my uniform and left my tank top on with a jacket over. I didn't really talk too much with Colin, but he texted me the next day thanking me for directions (I incorrectly assumed he got my number from B) and then just started a conversation with how I was doing and the usual stuff. I didn't want to be rude, so I answered him politely until he started letting his stupidity show. Here's a gist of the conversation (don't have screenshots.)
Colin: Favorite store besides Victoria's secret?
Me: Not a favorite
Colin: Wow that's surprising.
(Apparently all girls with big boobs must love VS!)
Colin: Can I ask you something personal? Promise you won't get mad? Longest relationship?
Me: How would that make me mad?
Colin: Well, cause I was going to ask you if you'd ever done the friends with benefits thing. It seems like more and more people do that… I don't think it's bad and since you're so good looking, I'm just curious.
Me: No, I don't do that.
Colin: Since you're such a sweetie and we're friends now… well my birthday is coming up. You should totally bake me a cake or cookies. If you do that for me, I'll take you shopping or whatever ya want.
Me: That's not necessary.
(I complained the night before that everyone thinks I'm a lot younger than what I am and he asked what I am usually mistaken for- 18 or younger)
Colin: Oh lord… yeah cause 18 year olds have DD boobs and a smile like yours…
Me: Girls stop growing around 18, sooo, yeah they do. And I don't think your smile has anything to do with age.
Colin: Do you get annoyed with guys talking about your boobs or do you like the compliments?
Colin: Are you really a DD?
Me: I never said I was
Colin: I know, I just guessed… but the way you were flaunting them at work I figured they were that big
Me: I wasn't flaunting them. You probably just didn't stop looking. There is a difference.
Colin: lol wow thanks for calling me out… you really are so sweet 😉 Guess you don't want me coming to see you this weekend.
(Bastard! I never even said I wanted to see you again!)
After sending so many texts without a response and me very annoyed and tired of being nice–
Colin: Guess you weren't interested
Me: I never said I was. Stop texting me, You're an asshole, if you didn't already know.
Colin: How am I an asshole? I never did anything to you
Me: You don't go around asking girls you don't know about their boobs and making stupid assumptions based on what you think you know. Everything you've said to me has been disrespectful
Colin: Ok you're good looking… excuse me for telling you that.
Me: Lol, really? You don't see anything inappropriate with what you've been saying to me? “What's your fave store besides Victoria's Secret?” “Are you really a dd?” “Do you like guys talking about your boobs…?” “How do you feel about friends with benefits?”
Colin: I didn't say how do you feel about friends with benefits, I asked if you had done it…. well every woman likes victoria's secret so excuse me for putting you in that category.
Me: No they don't. That's a stupid assumption and that's even worse! You don't ask strangers about their sex life. Get your head out of your ass.
Colin: Okay, well I'm sorry for giving you compliments… it's not like I was trying to date you or anything… you seemed like a cool person to be around. So since you obviously hate me now… do you even want to talk?
My replies were not edited. This guy couldn't take a hint. I was sent 4-6 texts to my one short answered text. I really could not believe how dumb he was.