Friday, November 16, 2012

Goodbye Hostess

After almost 80 years of turning chemicals into wonderful goodness, Hostess says it is closing. A strike has forced the company to close its doors and lay off 18,500 workers and sell all their assets. This of course means that if you need a Twinkie fix you better rush out and stock up. It will be a personal decision for you whether a certain day or occasion becomes Twinkie worthy. Goodbye fruit pies. I will miss your frosty goodness and the disappointment I felt when I hit actual fruit and realized all my lovable heavily sugared frosting was gone. Donettes. Your one bite of powdered sugar buzz were gone in an instant and your five fellow brethren followed in short order making it necessary to buy multiple packs at a time. The chocolate were never quite as good as the powdered. Ho'Ho's. Unwrapping you one layer at a time. Your soft, cake embraced by chocolate which would stain my hands for days if I was not quick enough, will be missed. Cup Cakes with your mystery frosting on top that seemed to be part glue and part sugar and never wavered in its pattern of strange loops. You will be missed. Wonder Bread. How will grilled cheese ever taste the same.

79 comments:

dia papaya said...

NOOOO!!!

This is so sad! Even though I haven't had a Twinkie in 10 yrs! That chemically goodness is what childhood memories are made of!

RIP delicious Twinkie and HoHo. Gotta get me to the Hostess outlet pronto!!!

Lucas said...

My bet is that the flow of Twinkies will not be interrupted. Another baker will step in and purchase the assets and trademarks and be baking indestructable snack cakes in no time. Since Hostess is privately held it will be a nice payday for the owners and they won't have to deal with the hassle any more.

Amber said...

MY CHILDHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Barton Fink said...

dia, ten years is how long their bankruptcy crisis has been going on. You kept them afloat, apparently! Me, I used to love eating frozen Twinkies out of the freezer.

EmEyeKay said...

Donette Gems. Breakfast of champions!

Christina said...

I can't think about twinkies without thinking of Woody Harrelson in Zombieland.

greenmountaingal said...

This is so sad! :(

dia papaya said...

Twinkies!!! Now I want one for breakfast!

They are totally zombie apocalypse food! Never go bad and always delicious. Zombieland was awesome btw!

@Barton, doing my part to save a treasured icon ;)

FSP said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I'll have to star making my own Twinkies

Dee Lurker said...

Oooh hugs to Enty as he waxes sentimental while realizing he is talking about pure poison. Cute post.

I like food, so this doesn't affect me at all! lol

AKM said...

Buy the alternative or generic ones and you'll not be missing a thing.

I feel bad for the employees, though.

Redheat said...

NOOOOOOOOO NO one makes a chocolate covered donettes like these! They have just the right amount of wax-fake chocolate ratio! Don't get me started on the Ding Dongs!

Staple611 said...

I hope @Lucas is right. My two favorite guilty snacks are both Hostess: twinkies and the crumbs donettes. Sad day :(

It does seem a little like union busting, though.

Cheryl said...

Hostess fruit pies were an every day snack for me in college. I always bought one after class. I don't know how anyone can eat Wonder Bread though. It tastes like wallpaper paste.

wacko jacko said...

This saddens me. Oh Wonder Bread, I love you!!!!

annabella said...

its sad that all of those people will lose their jobs. I'm not sure I believe that it is the fault of the strikers.

the thing to do these days is for companies to blame the worker and their insatiable need for things like medical insurance and not even mention the millions that the ceo makes.

sad though. I haven't had anything twinkie or hostess related for years now. but, I did used to love those apple pies.

__-__=__ said...

CEO pay up 725% since 1978. Do people really still eat this processed trash? I wouldn't feed it to your dog! Bacon is better!! More bacon for everyone!

Amber said...

Yay! Thanks for the recipe, @FSP!

Roman Holiday said...

Didn't they make the snowballs too?
Those things were/are so disgusting - even when I was young and didn't know better I could not eat one of those even if I had the maryjane munchcies!!!!

dia papaya said...

Why did you say Bacon? Now I want Bacon AND Twinkies!

I foresee a Bacon Maple donut from Voo Doo in my future...

LottaColada said...

OMG the world really is coming to an end! If there's no more twinkies then the Mayans were right.

MAC said...

We always had a box of Hostess cupcakes or ding dongs around to put in our lunches. I can remember coming home and eating a couple more, boy what I wouldn't give for my 12 year old metabolism! I don't think people by much of that kind of food for their kids anymore. I make a homemade hostess cupcake that is really good and a few years ago I was on a homemade fried hand pie kick. A little more gourmet, but still there is something about the Hostess version that can't be replicated. Good bye memories.

Vicki Cupper said...

I will miss the cupcakes, HoHo's (named after me, I'm sure), and other chocolatey, creamy goodness, but the SnoBalls can go straight to hell. Hate those fucking things.

I miss the chocolate "fruit" pie, though. That was the shit!

AndrewBW said...

I never liked Twinkies, but I always loved the fruit pies, especially the apple.

Even money the company and strikers come to a settlement soon.

rejectedcarebear said...

My dad worked for hostess for 25 years and he is very glad he started receiving his pension a few months ago! I don't feel bad, this company treats their employees badly. Also, since I grew up with Hostess products, they make me ill now! I ate so many zingers and twinkies as a child, I will never eat them again!

fancyscreenname said...

What Annabelle said....

AndrewBW said...

FWIW, CNN Money says that the strikers are protesting a new contract that was "imposed on them."

Ian's Girl said...

annabella, the Teamsters had access to Hostess's books and tried to tell the Bakery and Miller unions that Hostess was in trouble and wasn't in a position to make a good offer. The Teamsters settled their strike last week.

At some point, unions have to realize that the economy is bad right now and contracts negotiated when business was better can't always be honored.


What I don't know is if they will even be able to pay the pensions. In some states, if a company liquidates, they don't pay unemployment or COBRA, either.

Jolene Jolene said...

Meh. I've had like one Twinkie and maybe a couple Hostess CupCakes (the ones with the white squiggle) in my entire life, and I didn't like them then. Definitely won't miss them, and it has nothing to do with the chemicals and preservatives and whatever else they put in there to make them last forever. Something about that cheap, sugary pastry taste that I hate. Now if the company that makes M&Ms went out of business, that would be crushing!

rhinovodka said...

I am so sad. When I was in college, I used to go to one of their outlets all the time, which was right by their bakery. Good times and being poor, I was grateful that I could afford some tasty snacks. I will miss the Ho Hos and Donettes, although I haven't had these in years.

MISCH said...

That final strike killed them
goodbye my childhood...

EmEyeKay said...

@dia, I KNOW THOSE DONUTS! Yum!

Evil Kumquat said...

Don't blame the union. Hostess was having financial troubles for years. They just waited until after Obama was elected so they could score some political points for their owners (i.e, "Obamacare killed Twinkie the Kid!).

My understanding is Hostess is controlled by hedge funds, so like Romney did with Bain, they are looting the company of its assets.

The people who run Hostess are GLAD they are going under.

Me said...

their powder sugar mini donuts are like crack to me. i WILL eat the entire box in one sitting. wonder what their shelf life is.

parissucksliterally said...

The apple pies, cupcakes and twinkies......*sobs*

SkittleKitty said...

I ditto Lucas's comment about their likely continuation and Evil Kumquat's comment about the causation/timing.

The whole bankruptcy/lack of working it out reeks of manipulation.

Patty said...

Somewhere between my childhood and adulthood they modified some of the recipes and they don't taste as good as they used to. Little Debbies taste better now. When I was a kid it was the opposite.

As for the strike. They settled their contract with the Teamsters. Asked for concessions from the one that just went on strike. They said not. I guess in the union world no job is better then keeping a job with reduced pay. This sucks for everyone involved.

Alicia said...

Aww.. My mom worked as a foreman at Hostess/wonder for 20 years .. Luckily she switched to another bakery before she retired! I'll always remember walking into her work and the amazing smell that would stay on my clothes all day. And my mom giving out twinkies, cupcakes , suzi q's and zingers every Halloween

RIP Hostess .. I don't blame you for my middle school/ HS heavy period in my life.. Not one little bit!

libby said...

Evil Kumquat is correct.

BUT NEVER FEAR, guys! Hostess is simply up for sale---Somebody will buy the brand, and keep making this stuff. I promise you this. The Hostess/Wonder Bread name, and the iconic products, not to mention the shelf space in every single gas station and grocery store in the dang country---it's worth MILLIONS to somebody like Kraft, or Coca-Cola, or Nabisco, or whomever. Unless they're all just one big company now, it's hard to keep track.

I promise, the only losers here will be those workers. The jobs will be moved to the buyers' location, probably.

You will still get your Ding-Dongs, I would make a Mitt Romney $10,000 bet on it! Even though that's my WHOLE 401k.

rejectedcarebear said...

Alicia- my parents would hand out Hostess brownies and cupcakes for Halloween. Needless to say, we were a pretty popular house around Halloween!

dia papaya said...

Em, they are so sinfully delicious! Have fun when you're down here next week!!!

Gobble Gobble, bacon maple donut!

jax said...

oh yes fat mongers the recipes will continue on but not the 18,500 jobs!

Unions continue to fuck over their members day after day. It's not 1920, we do NOT NEED unions anymore.

I would never go union in 2012 and let other people make decisions for me.

Fear not, Lil Debbie is already in line for the recipes.

Me said...

@alicia, suzi q's and zingers!! i forgot about those. i never see them now. what a fun job for your mom to have! you must have been the most popular girl in school.

Snapdragon said...

It's not 1920, we do NOT NEED unions anymore.

Working people need a collective voice or companies will trample over them, e.g. working conditions at the likes of Wal-Mart. Unions level the playing field against plutocrats. If you are union, you participate in those decisions--they do not 'get made' for you. Unions are what kept my family from starving. My two cents. Feel free to rebut--I won't see any responses.

(dia, you must be in my part of the world! :) )

angie said...

ok, I'm being serious when I say I eat either the Hostess powdered donettes or the Coconut crumb nearly every weekday morning with a cup of coffee. That is my 1 special treat I afford myself each day that. I am crying a river right now....

angie said...

omg and that means no more Wonder Texas Toast!!! This is more than I can handle.

Cee Kay said...

I'm with you, jax, although I'm not sure I'd have had the guts to say so without you going first! LOL I remember going through some reeeeally hard times as a kid because my dad's company was on strike...AGAIN. Shutting down business to fight for that extra 25 cents an hour really didn't seem worth it to me when my parents had to feed, clothe and house three kids on strike pay. I understood at a very young age that unions did not care about the workers and weren't very useful to individuals. The people who seem to like them best are the ones who probably wouldn't even be able to hang onto a job if not for their union! Rant over, but I too would never work for a unionized company.

The Black Cat said...

Deal with union bullshit every day at work, I am not allowed to rotate product on store shelves because it takes away from a union persons job. But they don't do it because they say they don't have enough hours. At one grocery store a cashier makes more per hour than a store manager , she has been doing the job since she was a teenager and is now in her 50's, she has to buy a bottle of wine at the end of each shift mind you. All unions seem to is protect lazy employees who could never hack it in non-unionized work environments. Hard working individuals are frustrated and usually end up leaving to take less pay because at least they feel their efforts will make a difference.

Alma said...

The exact same thing i was going to say

Lisa B. said...

Fun Fact: Woody Harrelson is actually Vegan. Twinkies (contain eggs and beef fat). Apparently the filmmakers made special "faux Twinkies" out of cornmeal for the scene at the end.
For Zombieland lovers, the Trivia on IMDB is really fun and interesting!

MadLyb said...

Hostess is liquidating because of poor management, not because of the strike. Just like most of the companies that are trying to blame President Obama's re-election, ACA or Unions, it's all BS. These companies were planning on shutting down, laying off workers or outsourcing, anyway, but they may as well kill two or three birds while they're at it. I think what we're seeing is a collective temper tantrum, and it ain't pretty.

Lola said...

Oh nos! What will the people in Washington and Colorado eat now?!?!?!

(I used to have a cat that would rip a bag to shreds to get to those little powdered sugar donettes)

Del Riser said...

Not a fan of unions, I always had the good fortune to work for a company who did the right thing toward their workers, wages, insurance, all the perks without a union gun to their head.

As for Hostess, I'm almost ashamed to admit that the Donettes are still the go to food for a road trip that starts early.

SeattleMarge said...

I am a Union Maid. Workers need protection.

Staple611 said...

@Lola: smart cat.

My cat would kill a person for Cheez-its.

Lulu G said...

Re : Unions - The pendulum has swung back towards the need to have unions @Jax @Blackcat. You are thinking back to the old days of unions. Now maybe the new union philosophy needs to be modernized but there is a need at this time. Companies just say "well you are lucky to have a job so we can do to you whatever we want to". That's the prevailing corporate attitude and it will only get worse. I worked at a supermarket in the early 80's and made good hourly rate and thought unions were stupid. Now after finally having enough and quitting my corporate job because they thought that working 90+ hours per week was peachy keen, I definitely vouch for the need for some kind of organized labor. This is how unions came to be in the first place and as I said the pendulum has or is quickly swinging back to the same spot it was when unions were first created. I guess you are lucky enough NOT to be in a situation where your employer is taking advantage of you, and hope it doesnt happen. @snapdragon I agree with you.

Lulu G said...

And back to the potential loss of HoHo's, Snowballs and Twinkies- what will we have to eat after a nuclear holocaust?

chopchop said...

Oh Zingers! I used to love peeling the frosting off & eating that first. And I loved the fruit pies. Sometimes my mom would put those in my lunch. The only flavor I didn't like was lemon. The cherry was the best!

I haven't eaten any of these foods in a long time. I should've bought some of these for my kids. Now I feel bad. :-(

iheartjacksparrow said...

Frozen Ding Dongs are like Manna from Heaven.

Laura said...

I just bought some ho-ho's last month after not having them in YEARS. I eat the outside chocolate covering first, then the inside frosting, then the cake. YUMM

T. E. Cuz said...

UGH. Unions killed ANOTHER thing.

Bring those 18,500 jobs here to a RIGHT TO WORK state and you bet people would be jumping for joy just for a JOB.

End the parasitic unions. It's 2012.

zeldafitzgerald said...

Without unions, you will have no one to advocate for you at work. If they fire you for no reason, who will you turn to? if they demand you work unreasonable hours, who will help you? don't be so fast to dismiss the union.

Back to Twinkies - as a little girl growing in Australia in the 70s (shoosh), i'd read comics that were full of advertising of twinkies and other such delights. Years later when an american food import company opened up, i bought twinkies (AT LAST!!!) and promptly vomited up the first one i ate.

I don't know how you guys are still alive with the crap they put in your food.

ButterKwup said...

Wish there was a 'Like' button for this comment T E Cuz

T. E. Cuz said...

An employer won't fire you for no reason. They want their product made, their service done, their business running. If they fire you, it's for a reason (money, attitude problem, etc).

As far as hours worked? Under obamacare, full time goes down to 30, and many companies are gonna start making most employees part time. People will be begging for hours to work.

Many people already are.

These leeches think that more than 18k individuals out of work is better than those people being able to support themselves? Good riddance.

Tigercat said...

Twinkie the Kid is alive - in Canada. Twinkies will continue to be produced up North so if you're jonesing bad, start making your travel plans.

StanleyRoper said...

This better be a fucking joke! Hostess was my childhood. Once my parents were at a party so I strong armed my mom into buying me a whole box of Ding Dong's at the store. I ate the whole fucking thing that night, went to the toilet and proceeded to have violent diarrhea to the point that the toilet was so clogged it overflowed. The poor babysitter had to call my parents at the party and my dad had to come home and plunge the toilet. The babysitter never came back, but I ate many more Ding Dong's after that. I love Hostess even though it doesn't love me.

disenchanted said...

Suzy Qs were my favorite as a kid. They were much bigger in the 80's than they are now. Although maybe I was just smaller. Anyway, this is a tragedy.

Paper trail said...

Snapdragon: I disagree with you. Ok your union can stand up for you, until your jobs get moved overseas and your cupcakes are made in Vietnam where they are paid $2 a day. With the preservatives, those cupcakes can be shipped on a slow boat back to Ohio or wherever they are being sold. Even with import taxes, still cheaper than US union labor and union problems.
Unions are a relic of the Industrial Age. we don't need them, not when we have lawyers jumping up and down to find personal injuries at every turn.

Henriette said...

Don't cry. They will all be sold the way Mother's cookies were.

Agent**It said...

Lucas, good for the owenrs .I would do the same.

squirrelene said...

Hostess didn't adapt to a changing marketplace. Their executives got an 80% raise in 2011 even though they were hurtling towards bankruptcy. Corporations do everything in their power to not pay pensions..moving older employees into depts they are phasing out, etc. they underfunded their pensions. They created this crisis. Now they blame the workers & people buy this lie.

dia papaya said...

snapdragon, are you in PDX too?

High Five!!!

Selock said...

Sad, but I live in the land of Tastykake where no1currs about Hostess.

brakewater said...

Baker's Union, representing 30% of the workforce, turned the contract down. Even the Teamsters supported the COURT MONITORED offer.

18,000 just took a 100% pay cut because 6000 people didn't want to take a 8% pay cut from a company that had already filed bankruptcy and was being monitored by COURT.

Know your facts. Unions, you lose. You have no place in this country anymore.

Right to work states have less unemployment and have more growth even in this economy.

For the union maid? You striked for 25 cents more an hour for a non-technical skill-less task that anyone would take for minimum wage. And you get $10 an hour. How much do you pay in Union dues?

I wish GM would have been allowed to go bankrupt instead of being bailed out. Oh wait, they did, after the bailout.

/rant

New Life and Attitude said...

That is the only way I liked to eat them. Yummmmmm

WUWT? said...

I liked them until 20 years ago when I became a vegetarian. But I don't miss them as much as I miss marshmallows and frosted mini-wheats. I hate the hidden places animal products are used.

Sandy said...

Had a lemon pie a few months ago for the first time in like, 25 years, and while it was disgusting, it was also totally delicious in an utterly fake way. Oh well. All of that stuff contributed mightily to the obesity epidemic in the US, so I suppose we're all better off without it. I myself haven't had a Twinkie or Cupcake since I was in the third grade. Won't miss them at all.

Bubbles said...

Sandy, I have to say that I agree with you. Being a fan of real food for some time now, I'm not going to miss this scourge on the American diet whatsoever. It's funny how you grow up and develop more refined tastes and realize what real food is supposed to taste like.

Now will someone ship me a couple of cartons on those Boston baked beans. I loved those candies as a kid.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I cannot tell you the last time I ate a single one of their products. It has to be at least 20 years. I think Tastykakes are...tastier. I read somewhere on the internet that PBR is considering buying them.

My grandmother was in a union for much of her working career and never had anything good to say about them.