Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Jessica Biel Thinks Justin Timberlake Can Get Her Work

In the new issue of Vanity Fair, Jessica Biel goes all Katie Holmes on the world and tells us how amazing Justin Timberlake is and how her honeymoon was like magic. Not magical mind you, but like magic. Not sure what that means. Does it mean it was all big one optical illusion? Jessica also says she wants Justin to direct her. You know, because he has a huge directing resume. She doesn't care if he has directed nothing, but she knows that he can probably get a film made where he is the director and that means he will cast her and she will get a job. Some actual work. Plus, she will get to be the lead and can pick out her own costume, and makeup people and has a great trainer in mind too, all paid for by the studio while her loving husband directs her into D list oblivion. What Justin needs to do acting wise is to commit himself fully to joining SNL for the next five years and then spend two years making music and touring and then spending another five years on SNL. He does that well. Movies? Not so much. Of course, since Jessica Biel is so awful, she probably thinks he is a genius.

59 comments:

Christopher Cruz said...

Go away. Worst. Couple. Ever.

Seachica said...

In that photo, she is dressed like the Middle aged Beverly Hills maven that she is best suited for. An actress, she is not.

laura ramona said...

i subscribe,Christopher.Can t read till the and any news about them. annoying. hello ppl!ciao from ireland

Andrea says said...

I don't care how long she keeps those awful bangs for, they will NEVER grow on me. I don't even care that her clothing choice was disastrous because her hair is so hideous I can't focus on anything else.

laura ramona said...

i subscribe,Christopher.Can t read till the and any news about them. annoying. hello ppl!ciao from ireland

dee123 said...

Her IMDB page is hilarious! I know they have to pour the treacle on but seriously:

"Jessica Biel with her striking good looks and wide range of talent, has become one of Hollywood's most sought-out actresses."

Bitch, please!

auntliddy said...

gosh, I dont think they are THAT bad!

B. Profane said...

Kinda sez it all that when she finally went nude for a film, it bombed. Maybe if she spent less time at the gym and read a book now and then she wouldn't come across as so thick.

Maximus said...

I still don't understand this couple.

LottaColada said...

She is like nails on chalkboard.

Cheryl said...

This is a couple with absolutely no chemistry between them. She is not leading lady material. Maybe she could get a sense of humor and become the quirky best friend type.

Vicki Cupper said...

Oh, Jessica. Jesus Christ himself couldn't give you talent or work.

megan said...

You guys are such assholes. No where did she say she thinks he can get her a job. Surprised people even still take enty word for word when he was exposed as a fake. Enty are you gonna ask ur readers for money again

B. Profane said...

I am quite convinced that there is AN Enty who is an industry insider, but he doesn't write all these pieces.

This piece clearly hints at some BI's for which Biel was the top guess. She IS getting work, despite her films mostly bombing. I think Enty is trying to hint about why that is.

Ella Bella Boo said...

I'm sorry but when did enty ask for money?

Brian said...

Stupid and delusional are two key traits of a good beard...

Brian said...

Stupid and delusional are two key traits of a good beard...

lc said...

Maven...the exact word I was thinking. But no self respecting maven would ever step out into public with THOSE bangs. Uh uh.

lc said...

Co-sign

lc said...

Okay, a little OT and kind of a dumb question but...if a women is called a beard, what is a man called doing the same service for a woman??

Please, I need some answers!

Karrots said...

@Ella

Enty asked his readers for money twice. Once was waaay back and he said he needed it to pay for the pictures he posts on the site. It caused a big debate because a) he claims to be a lawyer and should have plenty of money and b) he continue to used cheap or free images.

He then asked again because he wanted to start a radio show. Another debate ensued because he had made such a big deal about it and then only did two shows and the went MIA. You can find that under the label "radio show".

bflogurl said...

I will admit I like bangs... not necessarily her style of bangs (too long), but I am really bored with seeing everyones foreheads, er fiveheads in many cases. I also admit the I like Christina Aguilera's wig on The Voice last night. So there.

Ella Bella Boo said...

I've never seen anything like that on herel, i'll have to check it out. Thanks karrots. :)
Iys a bit weird that they'd be asking for money. What was his radio show like?

FSP said...

@lc - a merkin?

B. Profane said...

He had Donal Logue on one of the radio shows, and Logue is a legitimate, albeit B-list, celebrity.

seaward said...

Don't forget all the Dominique Swain hoopla.

Patty Mayonnaise said...

Hi Jessica! ;)

Ella Bella Boo said...

Hmmmm seems a bit weird he asked for money though...

Happy Chocolatini said...

I like her in action movies.

urban chaos said...

Jessica Biel's outfit looks like it was raided from Blanche's closet. Golden, err..silver girl anyone?

Cee Kay said...

Not a fan or a hater. But, Jessica Biel works a lot s othat line about "...she will get a job. Some actual work." is just Enty bitchery.

Cee Kay said...

*so that. Oy.

LetLoveRule said...

Enty is giving solid career advice to JT here. He won't listen, though, watch.

Lyla Lou said...

Just rented 'A Tall Man' from redbox. I actually really liked the movie and thought Biel was great in it.

annanaannnaaaa said...

They kinda look like my bangs.

Sherry said...

Since when does Timberlake direct?

Urban Rosebud said...

Sherry...there lies the sarcasm...he doesn't direct.
A man who covers for a gay woman is known as a "merkin". The term comes from a fake hairy wig that goes over the female genitalia...something an actor/actress would wear for a part.

AndyCane said...

A merkin

DoYogaFeelGreat said...

Merkin. I think.

Urban Rosebud said...

Sherry...there lies the sarcasm...he doesn't direct.
A man who covers for a gay woman is known as a "merkin". The term comes from a fake hairy wig that goes over the female genitalia...something an actor/actress would wear for a part.

FalseProfit said...

She'd be ugly even without those bangs. What a joke.

jax said...

it's called soliciting for donations and a lot of bloggers have donate buttons on their sites. NBD. I've known Enty for years and never given him a dime. That's my choice and I'm not offended by a donation button, just broke.

Honestly, is there anything more tedious than coming back here over and over again to be OUTRAGED by something that occurred years ago?


coolranchdoritos said...

i posted this in a diff place yesterday, but, for whatever it's worth..

i went to the premiere of hitchcok on sunday night in ny. (yes, her outfit is a hot mess i agree. i think my gramma has one that is similar.) anyway, i liked that justin entered in the side door to not take away from her spotlight. he was really nice to fans from what i could see. and when the intro was done and the lights came down (ie, no one was looking) she sat next to him towards the middle & they looked cuddly and cute together. with that said, she annoys me too, but it was sweet to see them snuggled together.

so for whatever that's worth...there's my recent timberbiel story.

ps. helen mirren is a fox in person!

Mango said...

Maybe their honeymoon was like magic because she made his erection disappear?


Karrots said...

jax I don't think anyone was outraged, someone made a comment, another reader asked about it, and I explained it.

No outrage.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with keeping those incidents out in the open so if Enty asks for funds in the future - new readers know the history there.

Having a donation button and occasionally asking readers to support the blog is one thing - asking for money for a specific thing and then not following through (Amber Tamblyn signed book anyone?) is called a scam.

B. Profane said...

Enty isn't the only person running the blog. I just assume that the flaky aspects of the blog are the fault of his ghosties.

timebob said...

Lesley Mann has made a whole career of her husband Judd Apatow casting her in his movies.

Nepotism works!

renerene said...

so funny you mention Leslie Mann, in all my years in h'wood when people ask me "who was nice, etc" she is my number one response to "who was the worst you ever dealt with?" SHE IS HORRENDOUS! So rude.

bflogurl said...

ReneRene: No doubt! She has major bitch face. Spill some more!!!

T. E. Cuz said...

i wanna know more about leslie mann!

i, too, hate nepotism.

Karrots said...

I would be a huge bitch too if I never ate. I get cranky if I don't eat dinner before 6:30.

Jessie said...

Did Biel actually change her surname to Timberlake?

renerene said...

Here's the deal with Leslie, she literally has two modes - big fake friendly if you are deemed "important" and ignore mode if you are not. Literally, she will ignore you. Or act like a psycho, I saw her scream at a crew guy "NO SMOKING!" when he walked past her with his box of cigs he was taking OUTSIDE. The other girl I was with was like "is she serious? Or is that her sense of humor?" I was like, nope, she's serious.
I had to go into background holding and a group of extras were bitching about how nasty she was and they all shut up when they saw me (I'm hardly a bigshot, but they knew I was crew) and I was like "It's cool, we are all saying the same thing." NO ONE likes her!

timebob said...

ha ha that's hilarious @renerene thanks for sharing and happy i accidentally opened a can of worms on her.

Kloie said...

Cindy Crawford. Taylor swift is also an acceptable answer.

califblondy said...

To which question Kloie?

Chigirlie said...

Lol. Anna it's not just the bangs. it's the fact that they look horrible on Biel. I used to think she was attractive but they make her face look pinched or weird like. She needs to lose them ,she looks much better without.

short le chic said...

I hate myself for watching 20 minutes of Easy Virtue. Worst. Actress. Ever!!

Count Jerkula said...

Ladies, tard bangs are instant wood killer. That is all.