Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Jenelle Evans Gets Married - But There Is So Much More

Jenelle Evans finally pulled the trigger on getting married. Her new husband is a real winner. He basically had to marry Jenelle because he just tattooed her entire name across his chest the other day. What else. Oh yeah. Her new husband got arrested for felony theft and when he got released on bond is when they got married. There is the rampant drug use by both of them. Pretty much sure they were wasted out of their mind when they got married and Jenelle has lost 30 pounds from a frame that did not really have 30 pounds to give because she has been shooting heroin and even tried rehab for a few days but got out so she could be with her new husband because he is going to be a big success and they are going to get his baby back from the baby mama and have lots more of their own until they run out of relatives to give them too. Chances are Jenelle will fail a drug test probably and go back to jail but the good news is maybe she and her new husband can spend time together in the same jail for their honeymoon.

35 comments:

Christopher Cruz said...

Awww, young love :)

Barton Fink said...

Oh my goodness, that woman in her 50s is leaning onto that youngish gentleman. It's so inappropriate.

Oh wait, she's under 50? She's under 45? No. Not possible.

shauniebear said...

Somewhere, Kieffaahhh is shedding a tear in his green hoodie...

EmEyeKay said...

Isn't that the boob job girl? She looks different.

Also, *yawn*

rejectedcarebear said...

So the wedding gifts should be sent to the jail instead? I was gonna get these crazy kids a gravy boat!

ReesesPeace said...

*snorting anc cackling in a very unladylike fashion*

You guys are the funniest!

Tuxedo Cat said...

@EmEyeKay

Belated congrats, Em...

ReesesPeace said...

@EmEyeKay...yes, Congratulations and wishing you much love and happiness!

(I like Em's news better.)

katsm0711 said...

Jenelle never had a chance. She doesn't seem to have a single intelligent gene inside her, no talent, no common sense, she's just a nothing. Then her mom is just as unintelligent and I'm sure she never did the things you do when you're actively trying to make your baby smart. I bet she never read jenelle bedtime stories, never practiced counting... It just breaks my heart bc Jenelle is so confused why she's like this. She's not even smart enough to know that she's a mess or to be bitter at her mom for making her like this. Compare her to Keiffer who is just as outstanding a human being as she is, but he IS smart, he's just so incredibly shady and does have a chance if he changes his life. But he's scum..,

LottaColada said...

@shauniebear lololol

You can't expect much from a chick that worships Kesha... Did anybody catch that clip onThe Soup??

ReesesPeace said...

Oh, Kats...your comment gives me the sads. :/

Why, oh, why are people allowed to have children without a license?! I don't want big gooberment all up our hooha's but damn!

dia papaya said...

Congrats to you Em! I was late to the show yesterday. I'm so happy for you and The Short One!

Can I have THOR now? ;)

EmEyeKay said...

NO DIA NO. Let's not be silly ;)

Thank you @Reeses & @Tuxedo & @dia! I just passed on your congrats to the fiance. Hmmm, I'll have to come up with a name for him.

dia papaya said...

Damn you Em! Do you really need ALL those fine men in your harem?

Maybe Mr Fiancé is really THOR! You lucky girl ;)

Frufra said...

I say congrats as well, Em. Very happy for you, Mr. Kay, and little Shortie :-). Hope you're all having a lovely, love-filled holiday season.

Frufra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EmEyeKay said...

Dia - I call him Thor! He's not a bodybuilder, but he works out a LOT, and has an incredible body. Also, his hair is long like Thor's, but dark. So yeah, you could say I have my very own Thor!

Aaaaand now I'm blushing.

J Sara said...

Exactly!

dia papaya said...

I'm blushing too.

So um... How's the weather up there? *whistles*

EmEyeKay said...

LOL, dia!

Thank you @Frufra, and I say your name sticks: Mr. Kay.

Frufra said...

Mr. Kay, meet Mr. Frufra and Mr. papaya. We will be discussing you, all of you, early and often, on CDAN. Cheers!

Robert said...

@EmEyeKay: Congratulations, and a joke:
The morning after a wild party in Valhalla, Thor is walking through shambles of the hall and finds a Valkyrie sitting at a long table nursing a hangover.
"Hello, I'm Thor," he says, and the Valkyrie replies, "YOU'RE Thor? I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!"

car54 said...

I read someplace that she did it so quick thinking if she married him she would not have to testify against him when he goes to court--but since they weren't married when it happened she's wrong.

She is such a sad girl--doomed to keep doing dumb stuff. Seems like she just doesn't have anything going in her life to help her keep it together--she just keeps screwing up.

thatfunnygirl said...

She is a hot mess and that's putting it lightly. She treats her mom like dog shit. She's lucky her mom cares enought to step in and raise her son who she clearly doesn't give two shits about. If that was my daughter I would slap the holy piss water out of her.

kelgela2 said...

Is this that fat girl that got her daughter taken away in Indiana or is this the one with the 10 plastic surgeries

thatfunnygirl said...

Nope this is a totally different one. Amber is the girl in Indiana currently in prison for drugs I think....Farrah is the one that had all of the plastic surgery. Amber and Farrah are both from Teen Mom 1 and Jenelle is from Teen Mom 2. Yes I know WAY too much about these shows because I am addicted.

goes in circles said...

I think we can stop blaming her mom. Her mother is her only saving grace and the only mother Jenelle's child has.
Jenelle needs to take responsibility for Jenelle.

katsm0711 said...

But that's the thing, I don't even think jenelle knows what responsibility means. A normal person could grow up with the worst parent and still have enough intelligence to realize that something is wrong and only she herself can choose to be a responsible adult. I think jenelle's iq has to be extremely low and she doesn't seem to have her newly diagnosed bipolar disorder under control.
Trust me, I'm shocked at how much sympathy I have for jenelle and amber. I have no idea why I care about them bc I rarely have sympathy for anyone.

thatfunnygirl said...

The only coping mechanism she has in regards to dealing with life is weed....and now I think she's moved on to bigger and "better" drugs.

Sadie Goes Electric said...

he dosent have an MTV show about him being a homeless cokehead yet?

Sadie Goes Electric said...

niether. this one is white trashy and a kristen stewart look alike who also smokes weed and uses meth now too from the looks of that pic above.

JSierra said...

"Courtland" doesn't have the same ring to it that "Kieffaahh" does.

R.I.P. Jeneffah. You will be missed.

JSierra said...

@Em what did I miss? I feel like there are comments that I have not been seeing lately. I am so out of the loop!!

New Life and Attitude said...

@Em - congrats to you and "Thor!"

And Jenelle is so f'd up. Sadly I do watch the stupid show and I was dying laughing when she kept telling her lawyer that she wanted to go to jail for 45 days so she wouldn't be on probation for another year because she just can't not smoke weed. Then he got her a deal that would only make her serve 14 days - BUT she would have missed the Keisha concert and no one understands how much Keisha means to her. She plays her music all the time, blah blah blah. I was rolling! Keisha??? Really???

katsm0711 said...

@new omg the Kesha thing. That was hysterical! I couldn't believe she was serious. And then when she refused to stop smoking. It was funny but when I stopped laughing I wanted to go hug my own parents.