Thursday, December 20, 2012

Melissa Gorga Has A Book Deal - Theresa Guidice Screams

Melissa Gorga found a way to help the family financially even more than she has. Without Melissa and the money she makes from and as a result of Real Housewives, I think the family would be way worse financially than they are. Now, she has landed herself a book deal to talk about her marriage. How hot it is and how everyone in the world can have a marriage like hers. The thing about marriage books is that it forces you to stay together and married for longer than you might normally do so. Think about it like this. Theresa Guidice tells the world constantly how wonderful her marriage is and she doesn't want to look like an idiot by splitting with Joe so she ignores all the affairs and won't talk about them. Now, Melissa will have to do the same. If her Joe goes out and has an orgy with a college cheerleading team, she is kind of stuck staying with him or has to admit her book about marriage is a failure. This is why you should stick to cookbooks about bacon. It can never do you wrong.

22 comments:

greenmountaingal said...

After having read about that sick fuck in the previous post, never in my life have I been so happy to see a post about RHONJ.

My comment on this is...I had no idea that both Melissa & Theresa knew how to write.

Diane said...

Question: Has any CDAN reader every purchased a book 'written' by any of these whores? If so, why?

JSierra said...

I don't understand the Housewife hate. Someone is watching their shows, they keep making season after season because of good ratings. They are just older famewhores, trying to be cool and fit in with the popular kids, doing things that make them look ridiculous. They are harmless creatures really, only there for entertainment and to kill time before the good shows come on. Not to mention, they all make some damn cute kiddos.

And they are the only ones who didn't fuck their way to fame a la Bachelor/Bachelorette and Jersey Shore. So the least whorish of our fave reality whores.

Anastasia Walker said...

I can see the title of the cookbook now: "Makin' Bacon, Every day, In Every Way. No Longer Just a Breakfast Meat"
These women are just looking for any way to get more money, that they are giving advise on marriages is absolutely ridiculous.

Roman Holiday said...

Is there a bacon cookbook?? I want one......

Susan said...

I can't stand Melissa.

Diane - I own Teresa's first cookbook. I did not purchase it; I received it as a gift. It's quite comical/interesting in a trainwreck-fascination kinda way. But the recipes are pretty good. As a lifelong Jersey girl myself, I can without a doubt tell that most of these Jersey broads come from families that cook really well. I would love to eat the food cooked by Kathy and Teresa's families.

I ain't buyin' what Melissa selling. I totally think she's trash, and the story she hawks about her husband and family reeks of bullshit. Sex everyday with three kids. Bitch, please.

VIPblonde said...

@Diane I bought Lisa Vanderpup's book on entertaining, and it's fabulous! Never bought any of the 'wives biographies. Everything I need to know about them I see on the show or on this site :)

Diane said...

Thanks for answering my question.

AKM said...

A) No "H" in Teresa, Enty.
B) She didn't scream. She actually congratulated her on FB.

Diane, I have Teresa's cookbooks because I know they're authentic (coming from her mama and all). They're kinda fun and I like 'em. *shrug*

Michael said...

@AKM: I don't even know why Enty put that mess about Teresa in his article title. What does Teresa care if Melissa writes some lame marriage book? I doubt Melissa received a $250,000 advance like Teresa did.

Agent**It said...





36 To Die For Bacon Recipes For Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner... Amazon e book, free to borrow with Prime:)

Susan said...

Yeah. I doubt Teresa gives an eff about Melissa's book as well. Both of Teresa's books are best-sellers. I think all of these people are incredibly dim for letting this show really rip apart the family. It's very tragic. But holding grudges over really dumb things seems to be the law of the land for the Giudices and the Gorgas.

T. E. Cuz said...

lisa has a book on entertaining?!?!? -updates christmas wish list-

__-__=__ said...

I also am shocked she can write - or read.

crila16 said...

I think everyone who's ever written a book about relationships and marriage, end up divorced. John Gray - "Men are from Mars", The girl who wrote "The Rules Book" and I'm sure a million others.

Jazzy said...

Ooh, I didn't know she had a book! Thanks VIP, I'm getting it.

PuggleWug said...

I can't stand Melissa. After last season, I am officially done with RWoNJ. The Manzos are beyond irritating, and the drama was just sad, not even entertaining. They all need therapy.

Snapdragon said...

Ah, Real Housewives. My reaction to seeing this post prior to seeing the comments was, "Who?"

Mango said...

Melissa and Teresa both allegedly have college degrees (there were rumors that Melissa stripped/tended bar at a club to put herself through college).

I can believe that Melissa has a degree but not Teresa. And before anyone goes off half cocked, I'm not saying that I think Melissa has a degree in Rocket Science.

I watch most of the Real Housewives shows and wouldn't buy a book by any of them but if I did it would be one of the books by Lisa Vanderpump. She's gorgeous, cultured, and her homes are always spectacularly decorated. She is pure class.






nudibelle said...

YIKKKESSSSSSSS!

AKM said...

@Mango -- IIRC, Melissa does have a bachelor's in elementary education. Teresa has a two-year degree in fashion merchandising.

Barton Fink said...

Joe Gorga having an orgy with a college cheerleading squad, the girls and the boys, Enty! I did not need that image. Now I'll never sleep. (Where'd I put those pom-poms?)