Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Tina Simpson Is Boozing Like Crazy

The new Star Magazine says that Tina Simpson is boozing and that it is out of control and it is all blamed on the fact that Joe Simpson is dating a bunch of younger guys. The thing is she probably has known about the guys for a long time. The booze might be because it has gone public or maybe she just has always had a booze problem. Whatever the reason, Jessica Simpson is of course worried that her mom is going to lose it completely and be a drunken mess and "spiral out of control." Tina is apparently using hard liquor. I know, I know. No beer or Alizee for Tina she is going for the hard stuff. I don't want her to have a drinking problem, but I could just imagine her sitting on a couch in the dark sipping on a bottle of Jack while she mumbles about Ashlee's dance on SNL and her fondness for John Mayer's butt and the hugs of Nick Lachey while cursing Joe and listening to Jessica's songs on shuffle.

27 comments:

Barton Fink said...

If you're gonna booze, booze like crazy.

curlyhairslacker said...

Hahaha Barton that made me chuckle out loud! I agree! :)

dia papaya said...

I second Barton! Crack open that Jack D and go to town! If anyone deserves some time with a bottle it is that woman! Ummm... If my husband left me for younger men I'd be attached to the bottle too. But I'm a vodka girl myself. Beer and whine are for sissies *and I'm allergic to them*

fancyscreenname said...

She's such a nice looking woman.

Sarah said...

Tina, be more like Jessica. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new! It may be a revelation to get it from someone who likes girl parts!

Renoblondee said...

What all of you just said!

dia papaya said...

Sarah! I like how you think!!!

Why did I waste so much time with my Vodka? Why!?!

Frufra said...

Sarah and dia, y'all are cracking me up! Amen and amen.

Frufra said...

Oh, and how can I forget my dear Barton? Good work, all.

Amy in MI said...

Vodka and Hawaiin punch was the best thing ever a few weeks ago

fancyscreenname said...

He should find healthier ways to cope. She's to old to risk ruining her beautiful skin and dulling those radiant eyes.

fancyscreenname said...

*she

__-__=__ said...

Go Tina! Vodka is your friend!! Don't forget to pull up. Yeah, I dont think she knew. Men lie very well. Hell, anyone lies well when they're covering up sex. Sad world.

ReesesPeace said...

Wow. Maybe it's the recovering alkie in me, but this is just sad to me.

Enty...alcohol is alcohol. Bad stuff. Bad, bad stuff. I was actually a binge drinker, and not an every day drinker, but if it's causing you problems, then it's a problem.

JoElla said...

I simply cannot imagine what a mind fuck it would be to find out the hubs is gay.

*nothing wrong with being gay*

But that has to be one hell of a shocker!

Renoblondee said...

Don't forget vodka and Crystal Light pink lemonade! It's very fancy! ;)

nancer said...

if i had to listen to jessica 'sing', i'd rather do it dead drunk.

Sherry said...

Amen Nancer..I'd hit the bottle hard too if I had to hear either of those girls sing.

aliciabutterfly26 said...

Mama Simpson looks like the youngest wife on Sister Wives.

Aoife said...

Alcohol is a legal drug in this country so at least she's not out tricking for coke or meth. I do hope that she can find a healthier way to deal with her pain. Therapy is a bad word in some circles and with Joe having been a pastor it may not be her first choice.

If she knew she is now shamed in front of family and friends. If she didn't know she was hit by the equivalent of a Mike Tyson punch to the jaw. I hope people close to her steer her towards therapy.

I also want to say that if your husband prefers male company as a woman there is no way to compete. If the sex was lousy she was probably blaming herself all these years.

This has to be a very difficult time for her.

auntliddy said...

Yeah, tina, hope u find your way back :)

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

I can understand wanting to go through a totally blotto phase for a bit, but I hope she pulls out of it sooner rather than later; she is an attractive woman, and surely there are men out there who would treat her much better than that schmuck Joe. Get it together and pull yourself up by your brastraps, girl! Remember, living well is truly the best revenge, so start in on building a happy new life as soon as you're up for it--it'll drive him nuts to see you doing so well, and you'll have your revenge while keeping your hands karmically clean.

yodelay said...

Like mother like daughter(s). Usually if someone's solution to a life change is to wallow in alcohol, they already have a problem. But if she's just out about town now that she's single and has a few social drinks, that's pretty typical.

Christopher Cruz said...

Tina, honey- get YOSELF a toy boy!!! See what all the fuss is about. Make it MILF MONTH in yo house!!!

Sherry said...

LOL! CC..Love the suggestion of MILF month..How about Cougar College for Tina? Work it grrrll..

Terri said...

Tina honey...call Jessica's babydaddy and have him hook you up with some studly athletes. Cougar yourself while you still can and make that scumbag Joe jealous of all the football ass you flaunt to the paps.

Just don't go Lohan on us.

Della said...

Feel sorry for her, it has to be embarrassing. He lied to her for years.
Jessica can't be happy. Her emotions have to be reeling still from having a baby and getting pregnant so soon. In recent pictures he looks a little "off" to me.