Saturday, June 16, 2012
If you get a chance to watch the Graham Norton show tonight with Russell Brand you should watch it because Graham Norton is funny and you should try and watch his show every week. This week apparently he ticked off Russell Brand which is a good thing. Want to know why? Graham, an interviewer, actually had the nerve to ask Russell Brand a question about his marriage to Katy Perry. Russell got peeved and lectured Graham for a few minutes about how Russell was there to promote a movie and not to talk about his personal life. Seriously? So, the shows should just be happy to have you on and let you do what you want and they should just put on their kneepads and forget anything else exists other than to meet your demands? This is why celebrities suck. Oh, and what does Russell do for an encore? Introduces the Dalai Lama because Russell is just a fine representation of what the Dalai Lama believes.
I think we all knew Madonna was a diva, but even for her this seems to be a bit much. In Touch saw a copy of her rider for her latest tour and it has some doozies on it. Where did that word come from anyway? I know I just wrote it, but I don't think I have actually even said it or written it in years and years because I'm not even sure how you spell it. Anyway, Madonna requires 20 international phone lines for each night of the tour. I'm not sure why. Maybe her 200 person entourage gets to call home everyday for free? I'm not sure why she has 30 bodyguards with her on the tour. That seems like way too much. How do you come to the number of 30 for your personal protection? Presumably you don't need them while you are sleeping, so the other 16 hours a day she requires 30 people to guard her? From? She also requires lots and lots of flowers, including roses which must be trimmed to precisely six inches. If they are trimmed to seven inches or five, she will not perform. And when she goes to her hotel it has her own furniture. She has the hotel move everything out of the room and her stuff put in. Now, I know what the bodyguards are doing everyday. Moving her furniture in and out of hotel rooms. Because that one night it would be awful to not have your own furniture.
Tony Parker told a French interviewer that he was in the club when Chris Brown and Drake started going at it. Tony also said that he took a lot of punches. He didn't say anything about punching anyone back so I guess he got beat up. He did say that one of the punches got him right in the eye and he scratched his retina. So, he will miss the first week of Olympic training with the French national team. I have generally been a Tony Parker fan, but with the cheating on Eva Longoria and now his love for Chris Brown I kind of don't like him anymore. How can you be friends with someone who beat up a woman that bad? How do you just gloss over it? If he beats up some more women are you still going to Tweet that he is your friend?
Kim Kardashian is an idiot. There, I said it. Yes, I have a hangover and and wish I was still sleeping and yes, the tree I ran into last night with my face really hurt, but Kim Kardashian is still an idiot. She is in Italian Vogue this month. Actually the cover, because they couldn't find any other porn stars to put on the cover. In the article she says that she wishes she had more privacy. Huh? This is the same woman who has all these reality shows going on, calls photographers to tell them where she will be and what time so they can get her photo and does everything she can to stay in the public eye. Now she is complaining she wants privacy. Oh, and get this. In the article she says she won't talk about her relationship with Kanye because she likes to keep her relationships private. Is she smoking crack? This is the same woman who filmed her last wedding and set it specifically so it could be filmed and she could be paid for it. This is the same woman who put her last relationship and the one before that and her current one on her show. She does not keep them private. What she should have said is she does not talk about them unless there are cameras rolling and she is getting paid for it.
So, there are 24 hours in a day so in four days there are 96 hours. Lindsay Lohan wants us to believe she worked 85 of those 96 hours. First of all, there is no production that is going to only have 3 hours a day off. Second, out of the 12 hours Lindsay might spend on a set, she is probably only working a fourth of that time. The rest of the time she is sitting in her trailer doing nothing, so that is not really working. And then, when she is actually working she is standing in front of a camera talking. Please let me know when that gets too exhausting and I will pass it on to the guys who have been using jackhammers 8 hours a day to dig up the street and lay pipe.
Lindsay says this demanding 85 hours was the reason she passed out and paramedics were called. Whatever you say Lindsay. Maybe they should hook her up to one of those e-meter things while she is at the Scientology Center. Yeah, they are filming part of the movie there so another reason not to watch it.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Yvette Wilson - RIP
Brad Pitt in Germany.
For Christina Aguilera this is pretty dressed down and normal.
If you are a door to door hat salesperson you need to stop by Charlize Theron's house now.
David Beckham looks happier than I have ever seen him.
Eva Longoria still in Monte Carlo.
Eva Mendes wins the tightest skirt of the day award. How can she walk?
Joe Manganiello, Channing Tatum and a big phallic symbol. You're welcome.
Jennifer Lawrence out and about in Santa Monica.
Kelsey Grammer renewed his vows already. You know, because that whole 6 week anniversary thing is so blessed.
There was some kind of award thing last night where if you bothered to show up you got one. Kind of like the people's Choice Awards.
Ginnifer Goodwin was there and looking good.
Ashley Greene was one of the few not to get an award.
Alex Pettyfer was there simply for Cody Horn.
Dawson was there too.
Nick Jonas shows off his softball moves.
Pamela Anderson is a big fan of the floppy hat.
Why hello Penelope Cruz.
Rihanna went out clubbing again while
her competition for Chris Brown, Karrueche Tran went shopping.
Three parts today.
Reader Photo #1
Reader Photo #2
Reader Photo #3
Reader Photo #4
Reader Photo #5
Rumer Willis goes from redhead to black and blue.
Sharon Stone prefers staring up at the sky so people cannot make eye contact with her.
Catherine Zeta Jones sans Michael Douglas again.
Lindsay Lohan has been taken to a hospital after being found unconscious Friday morning in the penthouse of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Marina del Rey, Calif., ABC News affiliate KABC is reporting.
Paramedics were called at 10:15 a.m. PST.
So, Kim Zolciak has moved from her "dream home," which turns out was rented and back into the townhome that Big Poppa bought for her. I don't understand why Kim Zolciak and her NFL playing husband can't afford to buy a house. She is on Real Housewives and has her own show. She gets paid for appearances and he makes a very decent living too. So, why are they renting? Why do they need to live in free housing? Where does all the money go? How much do her wigs cost? Yes, I understand she paid for the redecoration of the house they lived in but why would you pay to redecorate a rental? Instead of buying that $400K bracelet why not buy a house for that or use that as a down payment? When Kim Zolciak is not a household name and her husband is retired and she is having to turn tricks again to make money, she is going to remember all the money she squandered.
So, today is Friday. So does halfway through June mean halfway through the year because this is going by fast. I feel like I need to start my Christmas shopping. And while I'm doing it, trying a new bacon sundae followed by a bacon milkshake. Fast food weekend this weekend. Anyway, there are just two weeks left to get your photo in reader photos for reveal day. You can e-mail me yours at firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember, no children or animals without you in the photo too.
A few websites reported yesterday that Chris Evans has an STD. A fully treatable STD. I know I make fun of Paris Hilton's STD, but do you think those kinds of things should be private or should they be reported on too? Who was Chris Evans sleeping with that gave him an STD? Hello condoms.
Nine months ago a boy wandered into the streets of a German town and claimed he had no idea who he was and that he had lived in the forest his whole life and emerged only after his father died. Police discovered that was a hoax pretty early on but still had no idea who the boy actually was until this week when they posted his photo on the internet. Note to police. You may want to try and do that sooner than nine months next time. You know, when the next kid walks in from the forest claiming he has lived there his entire life. The 20 year old who only spoke English to the police is actually Dutch and was recognized and identified by an ex-girlfriend. His name is said to be Robin van Helsum. No, not van Helsing, but how cool would that have been.
His parents have been looking for him since September when he was reported missing. They never thought forest boy and their son could be the same person? His town was right on the German border.
Posted by ent lawyer at 9:40 AM
The National Institutes Of Health has a blurb on their site about a report of a woman in Korea who ate some parboiled squid. When she bit into the squid it ejaculated and the sperm attached itself to the inside of her cheek. She felt a shapr stinging pain and spit out the squid. She went to the doctor who said that, "Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores."
Yeah, so I think that means the woman was going to grow 12 squid inside her cheek if they had not been removed. This is not even the first time this has happened. Nope. About once every few months a story comes out like this. Makes me really rethink the whole calamari thing. It is also something Tom Cruise should look into if he ever decides to have another baby.
Posted by ent lawyer at 9:20 AM
I know some of you are not old enough to remember Oprah before she reached biblical status and could grant absolution of all your sins, but back in the day, Oprah was not that different from Jerry Springer. Sure, there were no fights, but her topics were way more controversial because all of hers it seemed like focused on sex and how many different ways and with different partners you could do it. She then slowly transformed into what she became at the end. A celebrity suck up who figured out a way to print billions of dollars. Good for her.
Last year even before they started taping Fashion Star I told you that Jessica Simpson almost quit the show when she heard that Nicole Richie was going to be on the show. The pair made a very very very very slight effort to pretend they get along and like each other when they were asked about their relationship. Well, that pretense of getting along is over now and only one of them will return to the show. Well, I take that back. If the producers offered Nicole Richie a bazillion dollars and told her she could stand over Jessica Simpson and plant a flag next to her and claim Jessica as her own then she could be back. The two don't get along and as The Enquirer says, Nicole only did it because she thought it would lead to bigger things. It only leads to bigger things if people actually watch the show. It is one big commercial though and pays for itself plus some and the companies involved like it. Jessica likes the easy money and wants to return, but if Nicole comes back, then for Jessica to come back she would require that Nicole be put in a cone of silence for each show so only the television audience can hear her.
Stephen Baldwin accused Kevin Costner of cheating Stephen out of millions of dollars in a BP contract that Kevin signed. Stephen and his friend sold their shares in Kevin's company right before Kevin signed the contract with BP which would have made the shares much more valuable. Stephen said that Kevin should have told them about the deal. Stephen sued for $17M and yesterday a jury told him he was out of luck and awarded him $0.
It was only a matter of time before Taylor Armstrong was out of money. The Daily Beast has a great article about how Taylor settled the lawsuit that was filed against her by mymedicalrecords.com. Taylor settled it for $1M but it turns out Taylor does not have $1M so she had to start selling everything. No stocks or bonds. Nope. She had to start right off by selling jewelry. That yellow diamond ring she always wore? Gone. $250K. But that still leaves 750K so Taylor had to start selling bags and clothes and anything else she had. She tried to sell two Hermes Birkin bags but it turns out they were fake. Shocker. Yep. There was no paperwork but she tried to pass them off as real. They have since been returned to her where you will see them on her arm in the upcoming season of RHBH.
Lindsay Lohan would like you to know that now she has played Elizabeth Taylor on the Lifetime movie of the week sponsored by Clorox and Purina that she is way above taking her clothes off for the screen anymore. For the guy who rents her a new Porsche yes. For the screen no. I Tweeted earlier this week that her next movie is Canyons which is being directed by the man who wrote Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. Yes, I'm sure he wishes he had sent Robert DeNiro some Christmas cards so he wouldn't be directing a movie starring Lindsay and porn star James Deen. Anyway, the movie requires full frontal nudity on the part of Lindsay. I think she thinks she is going to be a huge star after her Lifetime movie and won't have to resort to getting naked to cash a movie a check. I think she should think again. And yes, this is the same person who poses naked for magazines at the drop of a hat and the drop of some Benjamin Franklins. But, that was before she was the star of a basic cable movie.
From all the reports pieced together over the last day it looks like Drake was the one who actually started the fight with Chris Brown. As in started I mean threw the first bottle. Apparently Chris Brown sent a bottle to Drake as a peace offering and the bottle was returned with a note from Drake saying that he was f**king Rihanna and for Chris to deal with it. How that got from a note to Drake throwing a bottle at Chris remains a mystery. What is known is that an Australian girl received 16 stitches and there were several other people injured, the club was virtually destroyed and someone will be charged with something. Apparently Chris and Drake didn't bother to actually throw a punch but instead left the club as quickly as possible and let their minions do the fighting. The minions will probably end up doing any time that needs to be served too. You know, if you hate each other, then just stand in the middle of the bar and fight each other. But they won't. They throw bottles and run.
So, yesterday I posted a photo of Miley Cyrus ion a bikini while she was in Miami. The world was in an uproar yesterday because in that same series of photos she was hanging out with a guy who she says is her best friend and that despite what it looks like are not with each other and Miley says she would never cheat on Liam. All that may be true, but when you look at this guy and his eyes and how close he gets, unless he is gay, I think he wants Miley. She might not know it and her mom might not know it, who also defended the friendship, but the guy wants her and is just waiting to make his move. Do you think she doesn't know? If you know someone is into you and you hang out with them, is it cheating?
Every few weeks a story just pops up out of nowhere which has Jake Gyllenhaal doing something you wouldn't expect. The last one I can recall prior to today was him hanging out with Jay-Z at some event together. Now supposedly he hooked up with Minka Kelly despite the fact she told him no a handful of times. I think Jake wanted to hook up with Minka Kelly to make himself look good and she said no so he told everyone he did anyway. And by everyone I mean the tabloids. What better way to keep yourself in the news and to keep everyone thinking you like moving from woman to woman than to release some news that you were with someone who is very attractive. Have you noticed that Taylor Swift never wrote a song about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. There were rumors she would, but she never did. She has about everyone she has ever gone out with, but not him. Makes you wonder if they were just friends.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It's like the ole Britney Spears never left. Daisy Dukes and UGGs.
Cory Monteith and Lea Michele share that after workout glow.
Charlize Theron even is working out with her hat on.
Eva Longira's first day at lap dance school.
Eva Mendes gets some gas while
Ryan Gosling looks for a frozen metal pole.
Another plastic pose from Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield. This time they were in Korea.
Emma Thompson having a great time on her new movie.
Hilary Duff makes her twice daily coffee run.
Another day and another set of matching black outfits for Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux.