Crazy Days and Nights: Ashton Kutcher Is Steve Jobs

Friday, January 25, 2013

Ashton Kutcher Is Steve Jobs

29 comments:

Nutty_Flavor said...: Is it too late to break all 10 of the scriptwriter's typing fingers? I've never seen such self-conscious dialogue outside of an Aaron Sorkin project.; 9:03 AM
sylmarillion said...: I see only see Ashton, not Jobs.; 9:08 AM
Cathy said...: I think he *looks* a lot like Steve Jobs, but as soon as he opens his mouth, all I hear is Kelso.; 9:11 AM
Agent**It said...: nutty, ditto.; 9:17 AM
Jules_345 said...: I adore Steve Jobs, Ashton not so much. I think the voice is throwing me, but if you have watched any of the old interviews that Jobs did in the late 80s, the dialog doesn't seem too far fetched to me...he was always talking about his place in history and what he was bringing to the world.; 9:18 AM
RocketQueen said...: Of COURSE Ashton would be all over this role. I think he probably thinks he and Jobs have a lot in common, being tech GIANTS and all. /eyeroll; 9:19 AM
Barton Fink said...: Ashton Kutchner, as a malignant narcissist with a robust substance abuse history. That'll be a stretch!; 9:21 AM
Sherry said...: Yeah still sounds like Kelso.; 9:32 AM
JoElla said...: He was really good in the Butterfly Effect. I will give him a chance in this role.; 9:37 AM
cc423 said...: His physicality is akin to a performer in Planet of The Apes. He should stick to camera commercials.; 10:02 AM
B626 said...: I won't pay to see it. But if it pops up on the tube someday, I'll give it a chance.; 10:16 AM
Del Riser said...: I don't watch anything with him in by choice. So unless I'm tied up in a room with a bootleg copy of this
"Kelso Gets a Job" thing I won't see it or him thankfully.; 10:31 AM
Moonmaid said...: Ashton Kutcher is also an asshole, but don't let that distract you.; 10:52 AM
Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...: Not according to Woz.; 11:06 AM
B. Profane said...: Hmph. I can almost smell the anticipation through the TCP packets....

Look, whatever Jobs was, that hagiography of tech epiphany, even by Hollywood standards, is not correct. If someone deserves that kind of lionization, it's Bob Noyce, not Jobs. And I'm talking as someone who saw early '80x86 chip layouts on the wall. Jobs didn't even know what an "operating system" was at that time. (Gates, sad to say, actually did, which just makes the ongoing crime against humanity of an OS that he inflicted upon civilization even worse.)

For the last time, I'm telling you: Steve Jobs was not a tech genius. I've read Strindberg and Boleslavsky, and also learned to code out of Kernighan & Ritchie. I studied with...well, ain't gonna say. I've also actually worked with old school SRI guys. I mean, I get it, you think your iPhones are so ooh-wee cool. Which iOS is, except that it's not an open OS, which should really bother prating, poser auteurs...but I digress.

The average industry scriptwriter could not pour piss out of a boot. I can quote Scorsese shot-frame for shot-frame, and I've coded in Ada and Lisp. Those schmucks could electrocute themselves with a AAA battery on an Easter Sunday.

Nice set dressing with the Pinto though.; 11:11 AM
prolixe said...: Wozniak is in the news saying that the scene where he & Jobs argue about everyone having PCs someday (according to Jobs) never happened. I cannot stand Kutcher the role butcher & will stick to the book about him if I can ever get it from the library!; 11:12 AM
Mango said...: I was half expecting Berta to walk by with a load of laundry and Alan to pop up with a fart joke. Oh wait, that wasn't a promo for next week's episode of Two and a Half Men? Sorry....; 11:33 AM
Jason Blue Eyes said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 11:50 AM
Jason Blue Eyes said...: Cameron Crowe was dead right. Ashton needs acting lessons.; 11:50 AM
mistang said...: An egotistical asshole whose only concern is for himself and his place in the world? I think it's perfect for Ashton.; 11:58 AM
Spike Gomes said...: B. Profane:

Do you have a beard and suspenders?; 12:07 PM
Jules_345 said...: @B Profane, I love this entire post. I am sure you have seen the documentary series from the 90s chronicling the rise of the PC. There were interviews in there with all the players and this was before the second coming of Jobs and Apple. Steve Jobs came across as a bully and a bitter egomaniac. So while I say I adore him above, it is more from an appreciation of how he was able to package the hype and 'rise from the ashes'. I would not have ever wanted to work for or with him.; 12:11 PM
nudibelle said...: he will always be dumb kelso; 12:47 PM
MadLyb said...: Ho boy. That was BAAAAAD, and not in a good way. :(; 4:27 PM
MadLyb said...: Ashton Kutcher's future biography: "Killing Kelso".; 4:28 PM
Barton Fink said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9:43 PM
BFSkinnerchick said...: Wow, what an excellent post. (You sound a lot like my dad, an old school programmer). I want to research your comments now to learn more.; 6:18 AM
Agent**It said...: Spike, Yale Graduate school, if I recall correctly.; 8:45 AM
Anna Nonymous said...: This movie is happening now because i phones and ipods are very successful, wait until the next big company/tech gadget and then there will be another big ego worshipping movie about what a huge innovator the dead founder was. Snore.; 9:18 AM

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Friday, January 25, 2013

Ashton Kutcher Is Steve Jobs

29 comments: