Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Hugh Hefner Got Married

Crystal Harris went through with it this time. On New Year's Eve, Hugh Hefner got married. Apparently whatever Crystal could do to Hugh, Holly Madison could not do. Or want to do. Do you blame her though? Would you want to? After dumping Hugh just five days before they were supposed to get married last year and running off with Dr. Phil's son and selling her engagement ring, Crystal managed to not only get back in the good graces of Hugh but also marry the 86 year old who took a whole box of Viagra to try and celebrate his honeymoon which began at 5pm and ended promptly at 530p so he could get his 12 hours of sleep. Crystal appears to have worn white and then stripped to nothing for a photoshoot.

69 comments:

Cathy said...

He's another year older now and another year closer to death than the last time they were supposed to get married - she knows what she's doing.

Frufra said...

The Mansion looks like most every old person's house I've ever been in: at some point, they just say "screw it, I'm not updating shit around here", and ride out their lives in the decor they put in place while in their 60's. It's like time just stops. I mean, look at that wallpaper (?) up there behind the staircase!

ButterKwup said...

Is she on DeathWatch?

rejectedcarebear said...

I wonder if the bride wore vanilla perfume

Frufra said...

Ooohhh, do you think Dr. Phil's son is just waiting in the wings for Hugh to croak, so he and Crystal can share that sweet Playboy money, and make sweet sweet luv in the grotto? And then, just like in a Lifetime movie, she dumps Phil Jr. right after Hef's funeral?

Mari said...

You win!

Chilie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amber said...

I really don't understand why Hef even bothers? Being married to her can't be any less lonely than not being married.

Christopher Cruz said...

Oh, I know! It's like when you see old people wearing pants that you just KNOW they bought back in the 70's!

LottaColada said...

Do we know if they signed a pre-nup? I remember for the original wedding Hef said there wouldn't be one!

Frufra said...

Chilie, I know you're right, but it's more fun to think about it in a Lifetime sort of way (at least to me) :-). The reality is far too pathetic to be very entertaining.

catecanary said...

I honestly don't think he cares what she did... "yep, she's a skank who left me at the altar, she's only after my $$ and talked sh*t about me to anyone who would listen... I'm an 86 year old wrinkly old perv who gets to sleep with a 20 something hot blond "

greenmountaingal said...

I love Playboy gossip! I hope Hef is happy, although I prefer Holly to Crystal. I've been in his company several times. He's really a gentleman and very generous. Total opposite of Alec Baldwin.

Diane said...

Fucking gross - both of them.

Frufra said...

Christopher, my mom JUST relayed a story to me about needing a red shirt for something, so she found one in her closet that worked great, after she cut out the shoulder pads!! Help me Rhonda - clean out your closet, folks!!!

And I'm not talking about people who can't afford new clothes, BTW.)

MISCH said...

YUK

Susan said...

Am I the only person who doesn't buy the whole Hugh Hefner persona? I think all of this is a sham for the Playboy brand. There's no way these women sleep with that old bag of bones. No way.

Frufra - Dying over your description of the mansion decor. SO true.

FSP said...

She gets to play with old man balls. Hahahahaha

Renoblondee said...

I don't understand these two. So shady!

lc said...

I agree, I prefer Holly over Crystal any day. I hope there is an iron clad prenup and will in place.

car54 said...

Hugh looks awful happy. I think he's smart enough to not be taken for anything he doesn't want her to have. I say if she makes him happy, go for it--and if she outlasts him, hope she gets well paid for her trouble.

They both know what they are doing--nobody is fooling anyone so I say go for it.

Hopefully this is Dr Phil's single son, not the one married to the blond triplet?

ReesesPeace said...

I'm baffled at why he's getting married at the age of 86...? Is it a looking at the other side thing? Making right before he kicks the bucket, in case there is someone/thing (insert deity of choice) he may be accountable to? He's been *living* the carefree-boink-anything-under-age-25 life for decades.

greenmountaingal said...

Definitely. Hef isn't stupid. I am almost certain that Crystal won't be getting a damn thing. I think Hef just wants to be married in the last years of his life.

brittiany said...

Hahaha. That's great.

JSierra said...

Bahaha I bet she thinks she is getting everything when he dies and that is why she did it. Little does she know, like Chilie said, his kids are going to get everything from Playboy.

But if they're happy, eh, who am I to judge. I guess some people like playing with balls that feel like kiwis that have been left out on the counter for far to long and have begun to sink in on themselves and get all squishy and gross.

Laura said...

While I can't remember who was talking about how low class vanilla notes can be, that comment made me laugh!!

curlyhairslacker said...

Ugh, the decor in that mansion needs to go! I've been obsessing over pinterest & diy blogs the past few days and I barely noticed the happy couple (smirk) because I'm thinking about what color I would paint the walls and stairwell.

White lilly said...

@ JSierra, eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww, that image, lol


Maybe it's the power of a 26 year old pu***. Maybe this one got him good and convinced him to marry her... Although, I do hope there's a prenup...

timebob said...

omg it looks like the crypt keeper just got married!

The Black Cat said...

There goes the Barbi Benton reunion I was hoping for, she was the best of all his girlfriends.

Tuxedo Cat said...

I think there would be lineups of women who would rent themselves out in a salaried way at the Playboy Mansion. Sadly enough, I think there are probably girls who grow up with exactly that dream. They think it will make them famous, and at the very least, catch a rich husband.

I remember reading that one of Tony Robbins' goals in life had been to marry a Playboy bunny, so I guess there are two sides to that.

It's pretty empty though -- what the hell would Hefner and Crystal have to talk about? You have to get out of bed sometime....

rejectedcarebear said...

Timebob- title or no, you'll always be mayor

just curious said...

Hef has a number of exes.I think it has been pre-planned that Cynthia won't inherit his fortune just a stipend for time and service..Hefner's daughter actually runs the day-to-operations at Playboy.

Tuxedo Cat said...

If I were he, I would at least want the girl to be a nurse...

greenmountaingal said...

Barbi is not a very nice person, so I'm glad Hef didn't reunite with her. I'll leave it at that. :)

SweetDee said...

Well, it's about time that whippersnapper settled down.

Cheryl said...

I think it's more of a contractual arrangement. Hef gets to be seen with a pretty girl on his arm and she gets some security. I've never really believed his stud persona. Even his friends say that a hot night for him is a card game and some old movies. He doesn't party anymore and at times the mansion has been a glorified sorority house. If it works for them, it's ok with me.

Sherry said...

GreenMtGal: Spill it girl! You obviously have some insider knowledge.

I really liked Holly better than Crystal too. And no way in Hell will this chick get it all. Hef is generous and will give her something but the lion's share will go to his boys and his daughter Christie.

Everyone remember he has a daughter too...Who, by the way, I saw pick her nose in first class when I was a flight attendant. Truly Christie was the one who brought the sagging Playboy empire back to it's former glory years ago.

Diane said...

Chystal is the new Anne Nicole Smith ... right Enty????

LottaColada said...

Where did the title go?

CrazyCatLady said...

I'm sure she has a "nurse" uniform. And instead of giving Hef his Viagra he gets a sleeping pill.

yodelay said...

Ga-ross!

In all seriousness, at least Holly did seem to love him. This chick thinks she's on the Anna Nicole train, but is in for a surprise.

auntliddy said...

Ugh, that so called mansion!! Hef is like the male Miss Haversham. Creepy and gross. And her? If you told me she was sleeping on the bus station floor last week, i would believe you!!

mngddess said...

I see they spared no expense on decoration...

The Black Cat said...

I only heard of nice things about Barbi, she seemed pretty genuine anytime I saw her being interviewed and she was with Hef a long time so he must have not had a problem with her. I could not believe she is in her 60's now LOL.

Nellie said...

Hahahaha omg perfect!

greenmountaingal said...

I do have insider knowledge, but I can't get into most of it. I will say that Hef is very nice, very smart and a good guy. I've spent a lot of time in his company (not as a girlfriend), and I only have have good things to say about him.

Barbi Benton is a good actress - she does come off as nice, but is not. Sometimes people keep someone around because that person looks good.

@Sherry you are right about Christie. She brought Playboy back from the brink of extinction. But picking her nose? Eeewww!

The Mansion parties are a lot of fun. And yes, the Mansion does need a decorating update.

White lilly said...

@greenmountaingal, unfortunately I agree with you that some people are kept around because of their looks...
And because you said he's a smart guy I'll believe he has a prenup...

DBZee said...

Michael K's take on this photo had me giggle-snorting at my desk!

greenmountaingal said...

PS Hef always liked Kendra more than Holly (or Bridget - yuck) but Kendra wasn't willing to do what Holly did, and that's why she wasn't girlfriend #1. I'll leave the details up to your imagination. ;)

All about Eve said...

@ rejected, love it! Hahaha!!!

All about Eve said...

@ greenmountaingal, loving the inside info!

Chicky said...

I think you need to dish greenmountaingal!!! :)

E Gee Be said...

You are on today @Rejected! Between this and the Lohans as the Gilmore Girls gone wrong, you are killing me!

E Gee Be said...

@greenmountaingirl, love the dish! I did think while watching the girls next door (don't judge me) that every time Barbi Benton was on she seemed genuinely jealous of the younger girls in Hef's life.

greenmountaingal said...

Oh she is. Much of her attitude stems from the fact that she was never a Playmate of the Month.

J Breezy said...

He was smart enough to change his ways once he realized the girls would get what they want and leave. So instead of buying a car outright he'd lease it until they left. I'm absolutely positive she won't be getting much. He remained married to his ex wife, who lives right by him, for eons. He's an incredibly generous man if you consider these "girlfriends" as employees who get paid. The job requires you to be home at a certain time, do certain things, in exchange for a pay check.

Jazzy said...

*slowly puts down Santa Maria Novella Vanilla perfume* ;)

Jazzy said...

I totally forgot about that. Hopefully after the runaway bride stunt he changed his mind. Although, I think he's just a figure head now. The daughter runs Playboy,but some company owns it.

Anotheramy said...

I was under the impression, and could be wrong, that the women in Hefs life are there by arraignment. They get the publicity, hair and clothing designers and a place to live while he gets beautiful women at his beck and call.
Hef is allegedly and old man but well preserved, a decent guy. He has a pretty good head on his shoulders about the girls. He would as there have been several decades of them.
I am pretty sure that Holly really wanted to marry him and had a hard time sharing him. He did not feel the same.

dia papaya said...

Agreed! @timebob you will always be CDaN mayor to me ;)

I love your calmness in the storm of estrogen!

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

@frufra, I was totally thinking the same thing about the decor...it looks like it could've been my grandpa's remarriage--certainly not some multi-millionaire's festivity! I remember reading that the Playboy mansion is kinda nasty with worn/dingy carpet that shoulda been replaced sometime in the 90s, at least!

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

@greenmountaingal, have you seen Barbi's house in which she had a hand in a lot of the designing and decorating? It is the most god-awful thing I have ever seen..,when I saw her give her televised "house tour," I did not end up with a positive impression of her.

timebob said...

thanks guys, i'll be over at the bar with Mayor McCheese for drinks but never fear when shit hits the fan Mayor timebob will be here!

greenmountaingal said...

Yessss....hideous. She should stick to modeling.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Tuxedo Cat - Now you've got me wondering what their conversations would be like. Here's what I imagine:

Hef: "So, this one day I was at the club with Frank and Bing..."

Crystal: "Bing? Ugh, Google is so much better."

Tuxedo Cat said...

@Zeeky

AHAHAHA!!! Totally! There are about 3 generation gaps in there....

One thing I cannot get through my head is that this woman dated Dr. Phil's son! Of all the least likely families to wind up associated with?

If Hugh Hefner were a nice 86 year old man with a regular pension would she be marrying him? No effing way.

Tuxedo Cat said...

@rejectedcarebear

Yes, I'll just bet she did.

chachi said...

Hugh Hefner Got Married?? Hugh Cares.