Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Jessica Simpson Is Getting A Television Show

Jessica Simpson is going back on television and for the first time ever it is not going to be a reality show. She is going to act. I know, I know. But look at it this way, at least it is not some type of singing show where Ashlee Simpson can be the musical guest every week. NBC has ordered a pilot from Jessica which will star Jessica playing Jessica in a show based on Jessica's life. So, basically a show about her fashion line which will probably be heavily featured while she shows off her breasts and gets pregnant a lot while mourning the demise of her singing career while her neighbor Ashlee comes over to visit a lot. In a surprise move, the part of Ashlee is played by Pete Wentz in drag, but Ashlee does come out to close each show with a chicken dance.

40 comments:

DBZee said...

Ha! Morning made!!

DewieTheBear said...

Oh, dear. Wasn't the first one bad enough?

rejectedcarebear said...

That's a super good idea NBC. You all should be proud of the quality television you bring to the masses.

greenmountaingal said...

Ugh. She annoys me to no end.

Agent**It said...

Wow, NBC is sinking more quickly than anticipated.

Tuxedo Cat said...

I like Jessica, so I'm happy for her. I don't know if she's had acting lessons, but she did go out with John Mayer for 3 years so that would have given her on-the-job experience....

Roman Holiday said...

Ha! I am going to watch for the chicken dance alone:)

No really, I like Jessica, I hope her show gets awesome ratings just to prove everyone wrong! #gottagowiththeunderdog

discoflux said...

It should be a show about her making my jeans. Come on, Jessica! You can't act! Make my Malibu skinny jeans again! I can completely get behind that!

Christopher Cruz said...

*shakes head*

Kimberly said...

Hey I like Jessica. She seems sweet.

*karen* said...

...I'm kind of intrigued. It'll either be canceled after three episodes or a be a hit. I really want to watch the first episode.

Unless it's on at the same time as Girl Meets World because Cory and Topanga take precedence.

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...

I thoroughly enjoyed Ashlee Simpson's "acting" in Melrose Place and would totally watch if she was cast as well.

MISCH said...

It will be a fast 9 episodes...the end.

SweetP said...

For some reason I like Jessica. She has been in a couple movies so this can't be any worse than some of the other crap on TV. I hope it does well and will definitely watch at least the first few episodes.

And even though I know she isn't the one that is "designing" I do own several pairs of her shoes and they are all some of my most comfortable and complimented high (very) heels.

Frufra said...

disco, you're in Houston, right? Are you shopping the Jessica Simpson line at Dillard's? (I know you've been longing for your Malibu skiiny jeans for some time :-).)

I was just in Dillard's last week, and can I say I was blown away by the Reba line of old lady party clothes - you go, Reba - sparkle up the over 60 set, girl!

libby said...

Frufra---for some reason I found myself re-watching the 'Angela Lansbury relaxing' video on YouTube.....So I agree with you---you're never too old to doll yourself up.


I like Jessica. I think she seems to not take herself all that seriously. She answers her critics in a chill kinda fashion, and I wish I had so much restraint sometimes.

Frufra said...

libs, that's one of the main reasons to make it to old age - you can wear whatever the hell you want, and no one can say anything! Can you say Frufra will be rocking a bedazzled old lady hat in 20 years? And I like Jess, too. Jess don't give a shit.

Henriette said...

I smell a bomb. I wonder if the free loading boyfriend/fiance will be featured in the show.

libby said...

Frufra--I think it's so nice that a celebrity is making an 'older lady' line, btw. Good to hear.

Vkn said...

Oh god This sounds atrocious. Please have a gay father cameo.

Susan said...

Actually, the way you summarize her life makes her sound really interesting. I would probably watch this. (Hating myself, but I also watch Mob Wives... Also hating myself.)

greenmountaingal said...

I watch Mob Wives, too. You are not alone :) I just can't turn away from the crazy.

rhinovodka said...

so glad I really don't watch tv.

JoElla said...

And somewhere Nick and Vanessa are screaming!

Speaking of Nick saw him on Betty White's show last night. hee hee hee

SweetP said...

Susan and greenmountaingal - add me in, I watch Mob Wives too. Totally agree - can't turn away from crazy. LOL

Roman Holiday said...

How can you not watch Mob Wives! That show is ridiculously funny!

Renoblondee said...

Why doesn't she sing anymore? She was not bad.

Maddie said...

Why am I not surprised that this is NBC? I know that fashion show she's on is also on NBC, but still. If they cancel Parks & Rec or Community to put on this crap, I'll be so pissed.

NBC has just started to rebuild some of its credibility, why greenlight this?

Susan said...

Maddie - Oh god. You are so right. I live for Parks and Rec. That show is genius.

Mob Wives is total insanity. Oh the drinking games that would ensue if I was still a college girl watching this shit. Just caught up last night. Between the language and the boobage, this is reality TV during which I must put all other activities aside to watch. If my husband attempts to talk to me during Mob Wives, I threaten his life. Kidding. I watch when he goes to sleep.

Mango said...

@ Maddie - I read exactly that - that Parks and Rec is hanging by a thread and Jessica's show is to be the replacement. I wish I could remember where I read that. I thought it was Gawker but when I went to double check, it wasn't but I found this:

It seems pretty obvious what happened here, right?

"You can't write this stuff!" Jessica Simpson would giggle with her assistant, realizing she had picked up Honeycrisp apples instead of Fuji apples at the grocery store by mistake.

"I cannot believe my life sometimes," Jessica Simpson would sigh at her fiancé, after pulling a turtleneck over her head and realizing the tag was in the front.

"My life is like a TV show!" Jessica Simpson would yell to no one in the cavernous living room of her "Spanish-style" mansion, after realizing the eyeglasses had been on her head the whole time.

And then, one day it happened. Jessica Simpson's life, which had already been a TV show, became another TV show. A scripted TV show.


I found that amusing. :)

swedishfish said...

Mango - that's brilliant. I read that her show is going to be like Curb Your Enthusiasm, i.e. partly improvised. Problem: you must have talent to improvise. I imagine it will turn out EXACTLY like this. Far too many people think their lives are interesting to other people. Some people's lives are. Many more are NOT.

annabella said...

her show will be like curb your enthusiasm when hell freezes over. larry david is a genius, jessica, not so much.

I give her show 13 episodes max. being pretty, not using birth control and having a closeted father doesn't make one interesting or talented. seriously nbc. shame on you for believing blonde and buxom will bring in ratings. this, the network that nurtured tina fey and amy pohler, two great comedians. shame on you. who ever greenlighted her show will be fired w/in a year. guaranteed.

parissucksliterally said...

This baffles me. She CANNOT ACT, she has ZERO comedic timing. She was her own STUPID SELF on Newlyweds, and people were laughing AT her, not with her.

Give someone with TALENT a fucking show, for fucks's sake!

Susan said...

Hold up!!! This show is going to be like Curb?!?! Nothing is like Curb. That show is in a league of its own. The season with the Blacks was pure genius.

So yous guys are telling me Jessica Simpson may replace Parks and Rec? God damn it. This is a world gone mad. Honestly, I think Parks and Rec is one of the best shows on TV. The whole cast is hysterical and the writing is genius. The small-town politics stuff is hysterical. Maybe it should be on a different day or something. I hate NBC. First the Office goes down the shitter, and now this news. Argh.

Susan said...

Maybe Parks and Rec would get picked up by TBS or some other smaller network. Kinda like what happened with Cougartown?! Does anyone watch that trash?

Pookie said...

she must have a better team than we realized b/c she's obviously not a great talent, mediocre at best...but like jho, when you have a good team in place they can make things happen. j-simp has no discipline and isn't known for good decision-making. on her own there's no way she could balance and manage 2 teeny babies a few months apart AND a grueling tv production schedule on top of her already massive business ventures. i have to applaud her for at least being smart enough to leave it in the hands of the people that can whip her into shape and expand her brand into television. they must literally be wise sages.

Ingrid Superstar said...

Living proof that if you're pretty, loud and dumb, you will be rewarded.

Rox (used to be Roxxx) said...

I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks this, but after seeing her in a couple of films, I didn't think she was too bad, very watchable actually. I was quite surprised as I thought she'd be completely dire. I'm not saying she's hugely talented, but I wouldn't necessarily rate her any worse than Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel. And now I've typed that, I've just realised how common that name is for actresses.

Gabby said...

NBC can suck my nonexistent cock. They have super smart and funny comedies that they treat like shit and don't promote, and then they pull out shit like Whitney, Animal Practice, and this Jessica Simpson garbage and promote them to death. Bob Greenblatt needs to have his ass kicked to the curb PRONTO.

allthesun said...

That chicken dance was highlarious. I was obsessed with her Newlywed show, fingers crossed that it will be as entertaining as that was.