You know, if she wanted to rear her kids this way, she should have kept it private, just so she didnt have to deal with all the comments. Idk if this is good or bad or what but thats up to her. She said it wasnt always the boob, most times she pumped and he wld nurse like every third day.
I know this post will blow up with comments about what's long enough vs too long. I say it's up to the parent.
To each their own, enty !
Nursing past infancy is the cultural and biological norm around the world. Only here, in the hyper-sexualized US, is breastfeeding called into question. Science is on the side of mothers like Mayim. Stop trying to turn a natural and normal practice into something shameful and dirty.
I read this on DListed last night. I hope there's no arguing about how long you should nurse on this thread! LOL
Oh. Too late.
No judgement here! She's seems like she's trying her best to be a loving mom and we all just hope we don't mess up and screw up our kids too much, so good one her
Liberalism and ObamaCare snarks coming in 5… 4… 3…
I've seen several interviews with her and she seems like a very intelligent, educated person with strong beliefs about how she wants to raise her children.
I think it is 100% up to her and the kids father how they do things. None of anyone else's business as long as her kids are healthy and happy.
It's called Attachment Parenting.
no judgement here too! to each their own. Let's remember that Enty is seeing things from the male perspective, and how things would effect the woman's sex life.
Her son will be a fine husband I'm sure.
It's the mom's breasts so it is up to her. If people want to judge that is fine but unless they are your titties or your kids, then it's not up to you.
I think it is neat that she went public, even if she does get a little heat for it. Breasts are for breastfeeding. Shocking! We like to think of them as toys but other people's mental hangups should not come between a mother and her child.
Plus, if boobies scare you there are shawls and light blankets and such.
what LP1812 said and what Alma said, except for the part about shawls and blankets
Does attachment parenting also include feeding your children when they're capable of feeding themselves?
I had lunch with a friend and his 26-month-old son this week. My friend told me that they were doing attachment parenting, that the son never went to sleep without one of them. I don't really know what's involved in AP, but what I found odd was that the son would point to what he wanted on the table, and his father would feed it to him. The son was using the dad's iPhone to watch videos while we visited, so he's obviously coordinated enough to feed himself, yet he pointed and said "I want that" every time, for a bite of coffee cake, or a drink of his milk. I thought it was kind of strange.
This AP mom thinks that's strange. The kid has it figured out tho, right?
Ha ha! Some people are super freaked out by breasts. This one lady would wear huge t shirts and just feed the baby in her ….i call it a baby tent.
AP is really just about responding to your kids needs and following a lot of their cues, instead of a set schedule. There are certain activities that tend to go along with AP (baby wearing, extended nursing, co sleeping) but don't necessarily have to do so. Everyone has their own variant of it, and this is hers. I'm glad to see so much respect for her (and moms in general) in the comments, as opposed to a lot of jokes and judgment.
Thank you. It's only weird in the USA.
I was sort of a failure at breastfeeding but I managed to do it for a couple of months with each child. They were big boys and I just couldn't keep up with their appetites.
I think it's different for every mother / child combination, but 4 seems awfully old to me.
Lots of judgment here. If the kid is old enough to ask for your boob, you probably can start giving him real food.
I don't feel like there was any judgement passed here. I think the general opinion is to each their how, how is that judgemental? And prolixe- I usually enjoy your comments but what does obamacare have to do with this at all?
My sister slept in the bed with my mom every night until she was 16. Caused major problems with my moms boyfriend. Even now, she is 28 and has a child but if she has to sleep alone due to boyfriend working she will go stay at my moms and sleep in the bed with her. I never understood it.
I was severely pressured to stop breast feeding my daughter when she was two. I don't think I would've kept doing until she was four, but I always hated how everyone thought it was their business.
Whatever parenting works so their kids don't grow up to be homicidal maniacs shooting up people and destroying lives i'm all for it.
@smash, there's a commenter who blames everything on " liberals" and Obama. I was fully expecting that person to blame ObamaCare for telling moms it's OK to BF after a year. Glad to be proven wrong, though!
Thanks for the info @Megan
At 4, "real food" as you put it would make up the bulk of his diet. Breast milk is a supplement at that point that is filled with nutrients, vitamins, antibodies and all other good stuff that does not come from other mammal's breasts (i.e. cow milk). To each his own but as someone pointed out, we are one of only a handful of countries that thinks breastfeeding after one is weird.
Prolixe- oh. Hahahahahahahaha. have a great weekend! Are you going to be around for tomorrow night?
Come on ,Enty, I'm sure her kids are homeschooled.
I am breast feeding my three month old and people seem to think I should be stopping at six months. Heck no! Not if I can physically help it!
I'm liberal, and find breast feeding a four year old odd. To each her own!
That's not an attachement parenting thing as far as I can tell. I don't "attachment parent" even though we do some of the things it suggests because they work for us. Anyways – I have never heard of this.
Attachement parenting has some great aspects to it that we use in our lives. We just don't use all of it. And that's good! use what works for you and your family – no judgement.
Tuxedo Cat- please don't feel like a failure! Your little ones got a couple months worth of breast milk. That's a success!
Ok on the attachement parenting topic – my little bug seems to hate the sling. He usually eats and then falls asleep on the boppy and I just let him nap. Is there a way to transition him to sleeping in the wrap?
Have you tried the Baby Bjorn? My daughter liked that a lot better than the sling. When they are really little, it let's them curl up against your chest.
I often used to sit and read, watch tv, whatever, with her in my lap while she slept
The Baby Bjorn is also great because it will hold them for a long time and you can do things like vacuum, shop, etc. with them in it (easier than the sling, imo).
*lets not let's
You can also breastfeed easily in it.
Why do such smart people lack any fashion sense?
My daughter is 2.5 years old and still breastfeeds about twice to three times a day, usually at night before bed and in the morning before I go to work. Before I had a baby, I always thought if a child can ask for milk they are too old to still be nursing, then I had my daughter and it doesn't seem odd at all anymore. She is intelligent, independent, healthy and we will stop nursing when she's ready – she never gets sick and doesn't have any allergies (yet), which was one of our worries. It's not for everyone, and I didn't used to think that it would be for us – funny how your perceptions change once you are a parent. I am extremely lucky to have an understanding husband who's into science and believes in the health benefits of extended breastfeeding. It is definitely hard having to "defend" the fact that she still nurses to the outside world and family at times though. I usually try to counter any critical comments with study outcomes showing the benefits…
At 31 weeks pregnant, I am amazed at how many people (strangers, at that) want to know if I'm going to breastfeed. So, I just started responding to their question with, "Are you having regular bowel movements?" They look at me like I'm nuts, but I want them to understand that to some women (like me) that's a personal question that I don't think I need to answer standing in line at Publix. Responding with an equally personal question seems to do the trick.
And that's the most non-celeb photo of a celeb I've seen in a long time.
Im sure he was eating real food, just supplemented with breast milk
@nellieI had every carrier known to man, and while I loved my Bjorn, I got an ergo for my second kiddo. I highly recommend
I still use it with my 2.5 yr old 35 pound son when I am hiking or if he falls asleep in the car right before I get to the grocery store. It's getting harder but I can't bring myself to give it to one of my friends yet
That is an awesome response!
I love you guys x
@Snoopy…I've said it before, never say never until you are actually a parent in the thick of battle because all of those things that began as, "I'll never" quickly become, "just this once" and then become routine. If you aren't ready to roll with the punches and adjust your expectations (and dictates), you probably aren't ready to be a parent.
Cornbread, my pat response to inappropriate pregnancy questions is "why do you ask?" because I hope it gives the asker a moment to realize they asked me something inappropriate
My dd never liked the sling. Never.
@ellie, where are they getting 6 months? The Association of Pediatricians (or whatever they call their organization) recommends a minimum of one year breastfeeding. They also recommend the 1st 6 months be exclusively breast milk.
Loved my ergo with both of my babies. And with the newborn insert when they were really little I could nurse them in public walking around with noone the wiser. They are 3 and 5 now and I still cant give it away, its a part of my mommyhood
I just CANNOT judge Blossom. I loved her and Six…….
How did I get from CDaN to iVillage Mommyforum?
Boobs are multipurpose, just like d*cks.
I don't have a problem with when/where/how long breastfeeding occurs, I just don't want to see a tit out with a kid on it.
I'm just here to say that I freakin' LOVE HER on The Big Bang Theory.
That is all.
Well, I'm gonna judge. L No four-year-old needs to be hanging off their mother! I don't care how loving or nurturing or attached you want to be, the kid should be off even the sippy cup by age four. I have concerns about the future social functioning of children kept dependent on their parents for too long. End of rant.
Oh, Mayim, I love you so much. Why you so weird?
My sister in law handed her 2 year old a baby bottle with soda in it, while screeching "what? You're still breast feeding him?" about my one year old. It seems to me that no ones ever happy with other peoples parenting but, unless the parent is doing something that harms the child, its none of our business. With the way celebs and rich people have children to use as accessories the fact that one of them actually parents their child is worth applauding.
I know. It just seems that after six months, people start getting uncomfortable. Sigh.
I will be honest. I didn't know what to expect from breast feeding. I didbt see how it could not be sexual and that worried me. But then they come out and it's not remotely sexual and even though it is hard to start, it's beyond wonderful. I love it so much which was sonething I never thought I would say.
Not articulate. Sleep deprived. Sorry.
I have a Bjorn but I don't know if he was too young for it at the time or what, he would cry quite a bit. He really likes to see things and the Bjorn wasn't great for that at his size. Maybe it will be better now.
I haven't tried in a few weeks honestly. I really should give it a go again. It seems so helpful.
Oh reeeeeeeallllyyyyyy…. Ok sold.
I can't wait for Sheldon and Amy to get it on. $10 that Penny is their sex coach.
Thanks! I will see if a friend has one!
I have to master baby wearing. It is even better than I thought!
Then don't look.
Dicks are multi-purpose? Well, I do need a new boomerang!
I have a mai tai which is like the bjorn buy ties instead of buckles. It fits me better because I'm small. I'm on my 2nd kid with it and she wiggles around in it until she's comfortable then either hangs out or sleeps. You can also attach teething things to it, nurse in it, and carry them on your back when they're bigger. Definitely worth the investment!
I just find four to be way too old. Breast feeding at two and a half is no biggie, imo. I know, never say never, but when I am a parent, I am pretty damn sure my four year old will not be breastfeeding still. I find nothing wrong with AP. One can be nuturing and close to their preschooler without having to breast feed. I do hope she is transitioning her children to use their own bed at night. As they age, it will become tougher, as it is now habit that they sleep with their mom (or on the floor).
I have no doubt in my mind that Mayim is a wonderful mother, and her kids will turn out A-Okay. I don't have kids (I work with wee ones though!), and I understand once one is a mother, things change. I just dont think I will choose certain methods of parenting that she goes by.
I personally find this whole attachment parenting thing totally weird, but to each his or her own I guess. Just do your thing and don't act superior about it.
Sometimes when feeding a kid as old as four, I have to wonder if it is more for the mother than the child. Four year olds can eat nutritional, solid, foods all on their own. Maybe they see more independence from the child, and breast feeding is the one way to hold on to the infant that the kid once was.
Yeahh four seems a little excessive to me, if you want the nutrients at least pump and put it in cereal so your preschooler isn't sucking on your boobies all day. I know it is nowhere near sexual, but all I can think about is the revealed Shia blind.
@Nellie, I can't remember what age they face forward in the Baby Bjorn, I want to say maybe 2 or 3 months. My daughter used to love it… I think she liked being up higher so she could see people's faces more easily.
That is, of course, when they're facing in. The BB covers you from other people but lets the baby access your breast.
You should be more concerned about the future social functioning of kids who's parents don't give a fuck about them. I find the push for children to be independent at such young ages to be very disconcerting. Kids have their whole adult lives to be independent, I hardly think 4 is too old.
My daughter slept with us full time until she was 6. She is one of the most mature, independent minded kids I know. She has a great sense of self and thinks kids who do things because other kids do them are stupid and immature.
Age eventually takes care of everything that people think they will never be broken of (pacifiers, sleeping with parents, nursing, etc.). Kids eventually want to be independent and to have their own personal space; they also don't want to be mocked by their peers and have a strong desire to fit in. Breaking kids of these things is actually much easier when they are of an age to understand why you are transitioning them.
And yes, never say never. My daughter wasn't going to use a pacifier or sleep with us and you know, there were good reasons I changed my mind because I didn't know what was going to work until I was in that situation with MY child (not someone else's…totally different).
@JSierra…I hardly think a child receiving nutrition from their mother's breast is "sucking on your boobies" and clearly you do view it as sexual if you don't understand that normal breast feeding has nothing to do with the development of mother/child sexual disfunction.
Lola pardon me for not using the proper terminology and you honestly have no idea how I view breastfeeding by reading my single comment on the subject. I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but the post that is directly before this one is the reveal about Shia calling his sexual partners Mom, hence my reason for mentioning it.
Also, breast feeding is actually a child sucking their Mother's boobie, unless the whole concept has totally changed without my knowledge and children now suck milk from their mothers fingers and toes.
I look forward to your comments tomorrow so you can tell me how I really feel because I am clearly incapable of figuring that out on my own. Whatever would I do without your guidance?
A friend of mine breastfed her kids until they were around 3 or 4, and is still breastfeeding her 2-year-old. She lets it go on until they wean themselves off, but as they've gotten older, they take it less and less often. So a 3-month-old will live on it, but a 3-year-old might take it once every day or couple of days.
Try different types of wraps.my 2nd baby hated the hospital and muslin wraps but loved the miracle blanket. She started ssleeping through the night at 3 months & she 's 8 months now.
@Lola, you said,
"Age eventually takes care of everything that people think they will never be broken of (pacifiers, sleeping with parents, nursing, etc.)."
I totally agree with you on this, and I wonder is the firstborn (esp if the parents don't have family advising them) gets pushed prematurely to stop a lot of these behaviours before they are ready.
I loved using mei tai & moby wraps with my kids.
SAME! BF'ing my 3 month old RIGHT THIS SECOND and couldn't imagine it not being a sexual thing before he arrived either. But it's SO not.
I'm going to exclusively breastfeeding to 6 months then introduce solids and 'transition' for probably the next 6. If anyone asks I'll either remind them about their business (one of my hobbies now I have a baby) or simply tell them he is on solids. But I don't plan on going past the year, and will likely express for the last 4/5 months of that so I can kind of get my life back.
Tell you what tho, this sh#t ain't easy, and I can't imagine the pressure on people who aren't comfortable telling strangers who get all in your business to F off… I've been ok with it ever since a lady came and touched my pregnant belly without permission so I rubbed hers back. Fair is fair!
I'm on the if the kid is old enough to get their own food, they're too old to be breastfeeding train.
Then again, it's how I was raised. I was pushed to be independent fairly early, so I did the same with my kids.
Speaking of independent kids, I saw a 7 or 8 year kid in a stroller at the mall last week…remember the heated debate about that?
The kid was in a double stroller with a much younger, toddler age sibling. I thought, yeah, it's fun to ride with your baby brother or sister, but you're school age! I would have said no, you want to act like a baby, you can't do things like go to iPlay America.
@JSierra, I can only go on what you write here since I do not know you in real life. Using terms such as "sucking on boobies" and insinuating that long term breast feeding leads to sexual dysfunction certainly gives an indication, in lieu of any other evidence, of how you feel about breast feeling. I suspect I am not the only person who viewed your feelings on long term breast feeding similarly.
It's not like the kid was getting his only nutrition from breast milk. Breast milk has been proven to boost immune systems, and has been shown to have a ton of health benefits. You may think its weird, and the only time that will ever matter is when/if you're in the position to make the choice on how an infant or toddler is fed.
I have no opinion about breastfeeding, I read her article and I just got a bit uncomfortable because it was such an intimate moment for her son and herself and she spilled it all out in the open for anyone to read.
Also a success: feeding them a bottle. Thanks
@cornbread, I'm really late to this post, but I hate the do you (did you) breast feed question. Everyone has an opinion and when you say you didn't you catch hell. Why do I have to justify my body choices to strangers, friends, and MY MOTHER, especially those who understand I have medical reasons. Plus the mommy guilt gets annoying, I always feel like I have to justify my non-bf. I will take your answer from now on, it's no ones business, and we should help each other, give tips, lift each other up…..not mommy guilt. Good for Mayim for her choices, good for all of you for yours. As long as your kids are getting healthy food, plenty of sleep, and love, who gives a damn how! Rant over.
well, this degenerated after being so impressed at CDAN tolerance.
what a gross way to put it Enty.