Friday, February 22, 2013

Pitbull Beats Lindsay Lohan In Court

I wish the beatdown Lindsay Lohan's legal case got in a NYC courtroom yesterday would be what she gets when she goes back to court for her probation hearing. It won't be of course. Nothing will happen to Lindsay. Nothing will ever happen to her. She will find some guy who is rich beyond belief and marry him and spend all his money while shopping 24/7 and having an affair with some DJ named Pat who no one can ever quite figure out whether Pat is a man or a woman. Lindsay will act sometimes, but always tell people she is working on other things like fashion lines and writing and art and a sequel to Elizabeth Taylor's perfume white diamonds which she will call chocolate diamonds and place herself in the ad for them with hundreds of the diamonds and Jamie Foxx covered in oil. When she steals the diamonds from the set, her husband covers the loss. Anyway, Lindsay sued Pitbull because he dropped her name in a song. Lindsay said she was emotionally scarred and that he used her name without permission for profit. The judge threw the case out and because Lindsay si Lindsay, the judge ruled that Pitbull's lawyers were not entitled to fees from Lindsay.

41 comments:

Ashlea said...

She should thank her lucky stars that relevant artists even mention her at all. God she's awful.

libby said...

She was dreaming of a quick settlement. Parody of public figures is WELL protected, let alone stating fact....'locked up like Lindsay Lohan...'
Well, we all know she was locked up.

auntliddy said...

Well, that money making scheme didnt work. On to the next one.

T. E. Cuz said...

i hope she gets a little reality check at her next court hearing.

Susan said...

My neighbor looks just like Pitbull.

This makes me think of the gem from Brandi Glanville: Welcome to the United Fucking States of America.

Freedom of speech is a great thing, Lindsay.

Christopher Cruz said...

Urgh. Lindsay, fuck off already.

Meanie Reese said...

At first glance, I read that as Pitbull gets Lindsay and thought one of the Sultan's dogs got her. LOL

It must be exhausting coming up with ways to *support* herself; no wonder she looks like shit.

phoenix said...

There may not be room for her in L.A. jails, but at least they aren't lifting a finger to enable her.

O.T. Oscar Pistorius was just granted bail. What a joke.

Renoblondee said...

He *does* "got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan"!

Cathy said...

The headline "Pitbull Beats Lindsay Lohan in Court" made me think about how perfect it would be for her to date Chris Brown. She'd get the smacking she so deserves and since she's always happy to play vitim and sue everyone, Chris could finally end up in jail, where he belongs. Win-win.

Susan said...

When I first read this headline I took it as Pitbull physically knocked out Lindsay.

Agent**It said...

ot Reeva Steenkamp's muderer got bail.

Jolene Jolene said...

@Libby--Exactly! I love this. Lindsay, it's not slander or libel or a valid reason for "emotionally scarring" when it's TRUE.

greenmountaingal said...

Once again, it would be awesome if we could have a Blohan-free March. Can I get an Amen?

Agent**It said...

phoenix, didn't read your post. SA legal system is a joke. Disgusting.

phoenix said...

Yeah, I was kind of using today's ruling as an indication of how the whole case would play out. I won't be holding my breath now, that's for sure.

LottaColada said...

Ha ha ha ha ha. Poor Linds. Delusional as always to try to keep everyone from mocking her into something illegal. Remember that Etrade(?) commercial that she was all pissed about for mocking her a well?

Cathy said...

@Lotta - that was crazy, but if I recall, they actually ended up settling with her!! I was so pissed!

LottaColada said...

@Cathy- WHAT??!?!

Cathy said...

@Lotta - http://www.tmz.com/2010/09/17/lindsay-lohan-etrade-milkaholic-lawsuit-settlement-money-drugs-alcohol-rehab/

Things like that make me so mad!!

LottaColada said...

@Cathy- grrrrrrr I don't remember that. They should be kicking themselves now. I'm glad Pitbull didn't settle!

MTB7373 said...

Enty, that was so funny. I'm printing this one out.

Lulu G said...

Too bad she didnt have to pay his legal fees! Although they would probably never see any money..

hunter said...

That was very funny Enty, your crystal ball is awesome. YAY PITBULL!!!

That's kinda bullshit he had to pay his own lawyer fees though. God I just want some CONSEQUENCES for this bitch.

SMBND said...

been reading a lot about Mindy McCready's rise and fall, and kept thinking, this is a woman who was thrown in jail over and over for parole violations for her drug addiction...yet Lindsay, who is not only addicted but a thief and pathological liar, continues to get away with EVERYTHING.

Michelle said...

Is it wrong that when I first heard about Mindy I thought, man why couldn't that have been Lindsay...

Mikey said...

That line was rapped (sung) in the last song performance in the movie Picture Perfect. I'm surprised she didn't sue the filmmakers.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I wondered whatever became of this BS lawsuit. That song got a LOT of airplay, so she should be thankful for the publicity, which should be less scarring than the last 10 things she's had her name in the headlines for.

Gayeld said...

@Greenmountaingal. AMEN!

Christopher Cruz said...

Amen, girl!

Christopher Cruz said...

You're only human, Michelle!!!

Mango said...

Ol' ducklips is leaving quite a legacy, isn't she.

Jazzy said...

I think the scenario Enty laid out sounds about right.

Jazzy said...

I think the scenario Enty laid out sounds about right.

Jazzy said...

I think the scenario Enty laid out sounds about right.

Sherry said...

Glad Pitbull won! Just still wish they had awarded the fees though.

Li said...

Enty Missed the best part, her attorney got in trouble with the judge when the prosecution pointed out that her attorney copied and pasted parts of her argument from the interwebs...awesome

ethorne said...

@Li, lmao, that is the best part. She probably already had her settlement spent in her mind.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

I had fun imagining it was Lindsay Lohan vs. a real pitbull, but only for a minute. She'd give that poor dog rabies!

timebob said...

i'm still mad at E-Trade for buckling and settling with using Lindsay the 'milkaholic' lawsuit.

Tina Mallette said...

How does this useless creature get away with this ALL THE TIME - it was so clear he did not do anything wrong?

Are you kidding me timebob??? At least Pitbull didn't settle.