I say if it gives the man peace to forgive, then let it be. Everyone grieves differently.
I'd like to think he is drowning in grief right now and is trying to rationalize it as his daughter was killed in an accident. The torture of your daughter being killed in a senseless murder for no reason other than he wanted to do it. Must be too much for his mind to come to terms with.
He has also said, if the story turns out to be a lie Oscar has to pay for what he has done.
Which the way things are going with this legal Circus. I don't think he will.
talking about forgiveness so soon? never too soon. it shows that he is a kind man with great emotional resources. not everyone is out for blood justice. people forgive not just for the other person, but for themselves, so they don't have to carry the heavy burden of revenge.
he also said that oscar would have to deal w/his conscience and suffer if he is lying.
I agree with enty. Way way way too soon to be talking about forgivness, but to each his own. All i have fir the father is sympathy.
Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not for the person they are forgiving. Whatever helps this man live with the senseless tragedy of his daughter's death is okay with me.
While I believe South Africa is a very dangerous place and homes are broken into often …I don't believe this was an accident.
People do grieve in their own way. Forgiveness for some is the only way they can get on with their life.
Forgiveness frees the soul.
What does that even mean? If he's found guilty he's not telling the truth, if he's found innocent he is? I get that he doesn't want to believe his daughters boyfriend murdered her in calls blood, but still difficult to wrap my head around…
Cold blood even.
Co signed syko.
With those who understand that forgiveness isn't about making the forgiven feel better, but about letting go of your own burden.
Hating someone is like letting them live rent-free in your brain. It doesn't change their every waking moment, but it does change yours.
I keep wanting to buy the "accident" story, too. Even though my brain knows better. It's just not easy to contemplate the alternative and how terrifying that was for Reeva. I hope her family finds peace.
I know South Africa's legal system differs vastly from ours here in the States, so I have to wonder what their rules are on polygraphs. Unfortunately, a guilty/not guilty verdict can't determine his actual guilt, but a polygraph test might go a long way in determining whether this grieving father should forgive him.
Mark my words, Enty: Pistorius murdered her and still he will walk (no pun intended). He will be South Africa's OJ. The man is worth loads of money and I'm sure a lot of this money will go to possible witnesses, Reeva's family, the police and all other people who can possibly influence the verdict by talking nicelyabout him or at least keeping their mouths shut. He will walk.
I'm with Syko on this but I do think he's guilty of premeditated murder.
Okay, why would this guy murder her? What is the motive? They had only been dating a couple of months, so murder makes no sense. I think he is telling the truth and it was an accident.
She goes to the loo in the middle of the night. He wakes up suddenly hearing noises, and while half asleep, panics, shoots first and then the tragedy.. It's stupid and bad, but perhaps not pre-meditated. And besides…he admits he did it. He could still go to jail for it even if it was an accident.
I'm with you Basil. Every word. What did he have to gain by murdering her?
Why would he need to *gain* anything by murdering her??? Jealousy is a frequent motive, as are other emoitions. Apparently, he's known to have anger management issues and the police has been called to his house before when these two were fighting. The fact that somebody does't gain anything. Whar exactly did OJ *gain* by murdering his wife?
Annabella said what I was thinking.
I wish this man nothing but peace. If Oscar is guilty…not so much peace.
Well said @Mala
@Mag I see your point, but I am not entirely sure it fits in with this incident. Five months isn't a long time for a couple to be together. At least not long enough for jealousy or even hatred to become an issue. Also, if it is true that they were having some kind of fight and he pulled a gun, why would she hide in the bathroom and sit on the toilet? He has no legs. That makes it pretty easy to either disarm him or run out of the house. So I am not buying this murder scenario.
Every time I see a picture of her I feel sad–such a beautiful girl.
I think they argued, he lost his temper and killed her and then invented the story–and he's such a hero in that country I think he'll get off.
No justice for her. Her father's lost her–so whatever he does to feel better about that is fine–it won't change anything.
I still think it was a fight that spiraled out of control; he didn't plan to kill her in advance, but he blew his stack and shot her while he was in a rage. (Perhaps roid rage? who knows?) Not as bad as premeditated murder, but she's still dead either way, so if this is what turns out to be the case, he does need to pay for it. Time will tell…
As for Reena's dad, +1 to everyone who's already said that forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven. If this brings him any kind of comfort in his grief, then I'm all for it; he needs to do whatever is best for him, no matter what anyone else says.
Well, exactly, but you're thinking like a rational person. Criminals don't think like this or they wouldn't be criminals. Anger problems, jealousy, who knows. They don't think like we do.
he killed her because he could
Kind, sweet souls may feel like saying this, just asking for honesty when everything else is lost.
One is totally allowed to disagree with the father s view, but I feel it s not that great to publicly challenge him, his grief and his dignity.
One of Reeva's friends told the UK Mirror that Oscar was controlling and insecure & she was getting tired of it. He would text her constantly when she was at an event without him.
The text messages from that night should be interesting when the police get them. Will they support Oscar's story? Was Reeva texting a friend about the fight or wanting to home etc.?
@Elissa. Polygraphs are notoriously unreliable and most (if not all, I'm trying to remember if there's been SCOTUS precident but am too lazy to search) courts will not allow polygraph results to be admitted as evidence in either court cases or in grand jury proceedings.
Of course, I am referring to the US, not SA.
…."Here comes the hop stepper"….
With a little more investigation…
States generally fall into one of 2 camps: either they don't allow Polygraphs or, they allow Polygraphs, but only when the poly is given with the stipulation of both parties (meaning the results will be presented no matter who they benefit). Interestingly, at least a couple of states allow you to sue the poly examiner if you are wrongly convicted, in part based on erroneous poly results.
Federal rules were muddied a few years ago when a case (Daubert) changed the rules for scientific evidence. Generally they aren't accepted but my guess would be that the question will be revisited by SCOTUS in the not to distant future.
As far as I can tell, the military doesn't allow the use of Polygraphs.
As others have said, forgiveness isn't for the one being forgiven; it's for the forgiver. If Reeva Steenkamp's father can forgive, it'll be better for him — whether or not Oscar Pistorius is found guilty.
We haven't heard all the evidence in this case. We can't have a true picture yet. My brother is a policeman, and he has told me that sometimes the strangest, most unbelievable things turn out to be the truth. I know that from my own life. Things have happened to me and my sons which, if I told you, you'd laugh and demand proof.
I'd say we should all wait and see what the evidence shows.
Why should anyone else care if Reeva's father decides to forgive Pistorius? That is HIS decision to make and no one else's. It's ludicrous for anyone else to be commenting on the appropriateness of his statement. If he feels inclined to do so, he should be able to do it, without hearing a lot of flack from people with absolutely zero connection to any of this, including Enty.
OK, "lawyer." How about innocent until proven guilty? Nothing like judging a case that is being played out in the media from another continent. I am a HUGE CDAN fan, but please stick to the entertainment gossip and leave the legal commentary to the real lawyers.
And furthermore, Enty, as others have said: Who are any of us to judge when or whether it is right for another to forgive? (not to mention judging complete strangers from halfway around the world involved in a situation about which none of us actually know the facts or people involved.)
Why does anyone who gets angry and looses their shit do it? Some people stomp around, some people hit the wall, some people hit their lover, and some people shoot them. This isn't the first time this has happened, this isn't such a rare occurrence that we should all be totally baffled and surprised if he is proven guilty. This shit is happening next door, down the street, all over the world as we speak.
Uncontrollable anger doesn't need a motive, it will always find a reason and it will always find an excuse. If that is the case here, which I believe it is, than Reeva was just the unfortunate soul who it got taken out on. If it wasn't her, it would have been somebody else. Unless people stop making excuses for the abuser, it will never stop.
Its too early. Only few days has passed since her death and the dad is probably still in absolute shock and denial. Reality hasn't hit him yet. Wait for a month or two when the truth sets in….
He bashed her skull in w a cricket bat. Do you somehow think he did this post mortem? No, he crushed her skull, she attempts to flee, locks herself into the bathroom, and he finishes her off w the shots thru the door. As for his motives, feelings, etc, who cares?
Polygraphs are not at all reliable, which is why they are basically inadmissible in court in the US. They are easy to fool and just as easy to get false positives on
I don't think it's farfetched to believe that he was insecure and paranoid, given his condition. Then he lands a gorgeous model who probably has plenty of male friends. Even if they were simply platonic, depending on how much he had to drink that night a simple text to her from one of them could set him off. His story is entirely inconsistent.
I think he's a coward who is overshadowed by her fathers strength in willing to forgive.
Or maybe he's planning his alibi and do his part to make sure Oscar gets out so they can have some private special alone time when the world's turned it's back.
Or maybe that's just me. *hiding shovel*