Thursday, February 21, 2013

Way Better Than Guy Fieri's Real Restaurant

Ever since Guy Fieri opened the worst celebrity restaurant since Britney Spears opened a place, his Times Square location Guy's American Kitchen And Bar has been trashed in the best restaurant review of all time and now someone has taken a lot of time to create the best parody menu of all-time. Of course, I can't think of another menu parody but this would still be at the top just for the fact they also created a website for the menu. The photo of the menu is above, but if you want to see it huge on the screen, click here.

29 comments:

prolixe said...

Awesome! I must make trash burger!

warecat said...

The ether glazed Marlboro Light sounds pretty good.

LottaColada said...

The Football burger now being served at a stadium near you folks! Why didn't we think of this sooner!

The extra wet naps at 3.50 a piece are a steal.

Christopher Cruz said...

Mmmm... Yum!!!

ethorne said...

Yes it's funny, but there's an article on Gawker that these are just Tweets this guy took from other people & tweaked a bit.

Renoblondee said...

That was hilarious! I of course liked the Reno!!! one. Ha! But the Captain Beefheart made me laugh out loud when I read the drumstick thing.

MISCH said...

Guy has become a monster...

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

I hadn't read the NY Times review. Pretty funny! :)

Sherry said...

As a home trained chef it offends me that he even has celebrity. Food Network Humor (God rest their soul) used to pick on him relentlessly. More awesome than thick and chunky mushroom dribbins'.

libby said...

Yeah, this guy ripped off many of the jokes from one twitter account. He was not contrite at all when this was pointed out to him.

LottaColada said...

The over-pronunciation of a fake last name is such a douche move. Like he wants to be all exotic and shit. Guy Ferry it is.

discoflux said...

Sherry! I *loved* food network humor! I haven't heard anyone mention it in ages. Props to you on that one.

Patty said...

Full disclosure...I hate this Guy Fatass!!!

I saw this story this morning and read the menu. Great great parody. Even better is the dumb Fatass didn't register the domain name that this guy used. I mean, It's the restaurant's name. However, I must say the review is better and more entertaining. I think I need to frame that. That critic used is writing skills that day.

B626 said...

Ooh,as a 80's music lover, I'll have the Panamania! Dave over Sammy, anyday.
Even as an appetizer those Guy's Balls look a little too ah, filling.

Meanie Reese said...

Is his name really Ferry and he took up Fieri?!?! What a twat!

Forgive me, people...just woke up and I'm on Day 3: Operation Take No Shit and I'm doing well except for the lack of caffeine...which is next to me. =)

VargasGirl said...

Guy is from my town.... He's is just add much of a douche IRL as he seems on TV.

His restaurants are garbage!

warecat said...

He should add twat waffles to the menu ;p

KPeony said...

I lol'd at the Panamania

Kloie said...

Going to NYC soon, and part of me wants to go to his restaurant just to see how awful it is, but that would be a waste of $.

Susan said...

OMG. Food Network Humor. Thank you CDANers for introducing me to this. I really hope the Web site gets off hiatus. Totally brill.

Cara said...

The Reno!!! sounds amazing. Served drunk and on fire! With cinnabons and two extra cinnabons for $3.50 more!

prolixe said...

Thank you & I hate you, @Sherry, for introducing me to Food Network humour. I'm going to be neglecting a lot if work in the next day or so! :b

Ms Cool said...

Reno!!!

JSierra said...

The real menu is a trip too, $12 for fried cheese! $18 for a salad! If I am paying that amount, I am getting something fancy, not a grease filled Guy Ferry crap shoot.

Did anyone else see the article about how he flipped his shit when he found out that the owners of a restaurant on DDD were gay and demanded that he be told beforehand of any homosexuality so he knows not to visit that place/he can adequately protect himself against them? And that the editing team can only use a small fraction of the footage that features women because Guy is constantly perving on them and only talks to their boobs?

DewieTheBear said...

Again, days old from Gawker and already debunked as being stolen from random Twitter comments. But keep recycling garbage, you hack.

warecat said...

I remember reading that. My friend had first hand experience with this dbag. Almost 3yrs ago, he came to a little hole in the wall resturaunt/bar near downtown cleveland for DDD. They have an open pit bbq on the back patio & Guy was bitching about "not another *n'er* cooking more ribs". Well the cook was my friend & he's white, so Guy calmed his roll, but started bitching again when the waiters, waitresses, patrons ect. where an older crowd. I guess no one was good looking enough for him.

True story.

Mango said...

My favorite? The Panamania, probably because I hate Van Halen.

Extra points for the Prufrock mention.



@ Dewey - why so angry? Lots of sites recycle stuff.

Sherry said...

@Disco, Susan and Prolixe...We totally need to find a way to resuscitate FNH. That was just the most awesome sight. I wonder what ever happened to them. She had the most wonderful stories about how the Food Network actually approached her to advertise some product from a "chef" she picked on. She had to remind them it wasn't an "I love you man" sort of site.

And JSierra, if I recall correctly FNH also pointed out that little tidbit about his homophobia as well. I stand by his douchiness even more! It's almost karmic that his real last name is Ferry.

JSierra said...

Sherry at first it was his frosted tips that put me off, but that article was really the icing on the cake hehe