Friday, March 22, 2013

Jennifer Capriati Formally Charged With Valentine's Day Battery

Even though this is the second time in as many weeks I have written about Jennifer Capriati, it still feels so fresh. I love having someone to talk about other than the regulars and someone who appears to have the ability and propensity for stalking and battery that she may be around for decades to come. Yesterday, Jennifer was formally charged with battery after punching her ex in the gym at the chest. If she had put on boxing gloves first she could have called it exercise. As for the stalking? It was only two days worth of stalking. I really don't think it should be considered stalking until you reach the three month mark. I could have avoided a lot of restraining orders with that limit in place.

42 comments:

Barton Fink said...

Oh, I'm not laughing. This is a sad meltdown, and I doubt she has the financial and emotional resources to get through this one. Her name was already "who?" and now it will be "No thanks."

dia papaya said...

And next on Lifetime... Jennifer Capriati good with a racket, even better with her fists!

Swinging her racket just wasn't enough :(

greenmountaingal said...

Poor Jennifer. She was such a promising athlete. I hope she gets the help she needs.

FSP said...

I hate getting punched in the gym at the chest.

dia papaya said...

Barton - crass jokes aside ITA. Really sad :(

dia papaya said...

FSP - ???

You already start the Friday cocktail hour?

Lucas said...

Damn, girl. Get it together. When I was 14-ish I was all about Jennifer Capriati, Drew Barrymore and Alyssa Milano (we're all about the same age). Hate to see her still struggling. This is why I never pushed my kiddo into sports - too many former child phenoms end up cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

Meanie Reese said...

I, too, hate getting punched in the gym at the chest!! That hurts! But not as much as it hurts to see Enty/s haven't taken Libby up on her fine offer to proofread!!

Meanie Reese said...

Oh, I'm a fine one to be talking about proofreading. :/

Lucas said...

@Dia - he's pointing out that Entward may have already started Friday cocktail hour.

FSP said...

I guess it's better than getting punched in the bathroom at the groin.

ethorne said...

I would be mortified to be arrested for stalking & titty punching.

ethorne said...

@FSP-I heard that hurts really bad.

LottaColada said...

@FSP- I emailed you something I thought you would like :)

dia papaya said...

I guess I'm drinking with The Enties bc I didn't even notice! Reading all the words is optional on Friday!

(Y)

rosie riveter said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha
ohHolyShit I find all these threads so funny for some reason
Thanks for the laughs hahahaha
Punched in the bathroom at the groin
Plus, entys kinda dumb

O'Really said...

How about getting punched in the kitchen at the throat?

katydid said...

What about when your club is kicked in an ass? That sucks too.

FSP said...

@Lotta - Love it!

ethorne said...

Karate kicked in the dojo at the face?

LottaColada said...

@FSP, ( Y )

O'Really said...

Bahahaha! Wax off, muthafukker!

Syd said...

Sounds like these charges are bullshit.

Meanie Reese said...

Um..if she did assault him, then...no, the charges would not be bullshit. JMO.

Susan said...

She had so much promise. Very sad.

__-__=__ said...

Greenmountaingal - Good one!

__-__=__ said...

You guys are all on a roll today! I need a bloody mary!!

SusanB said...

Again, another scandal here in Palm Beach County - south Florida really attracts the idiots (wait, does that imply I'm an idiot?) I did read something about this last week in the local paper, said something about this isn't the first time she's done something like this but I'm too lazy to look for the article.

Gayeld said...

@O39. This is beginning to sound like a game of Clue.

Agent**It said...



I heard she knead her ex in the bakery in his muffin.

Frufra said...

Thanks for the laffs, friends (Y).

Anna Nonymous said...

I call undiagnosed mental illness. No offense Libbers! Or anyone else struggling with it. Mental illness is nothing to laugh about, or make fun of. I'm just saying, perhaps there is a little bit of bipolar disorder here, or drug/alcohol abuse? these things don't just start out of nowhere with people.

Izzie said...

Heh, you guys are funny! Bakery in the muffin, heh.

That said, this is sad. I really liked her when I was a kid.

Fish said...

Why should it be any different if a woman is the abuser? It's still abuse. Because she doesn't have enough upper body strength (although JC is a strong woman as a former ATP tennis player).

The intent was still the same.

If this is what she does in public, what does she do in private? She's obviously dealing with issues.





I'm glad she was charged b/c it may make her think before the next time she acts. I'm also glad

Sherry said...

Poor Jennifer. For someone to be so obsessed with a person to stalk them and punch them in public (and gd knows what else in private) there are other issues there. She doesn't have to suffer (and it is suffering for manic obsessives) or commit crimes with the proper diagnosis and medication. Maybe this will be her wake up call?

Lisa In KVegas said...

Somewhere I read a story written by one of this guy's ex-girlfriends who said that he did the same exact thing to her. They broke up and she was charged with stalking and battery. She said he manipulates the situation to become the victim, instead of the other way around. Jennifer had a rough life, and some drug problems, I can see her being easily manipulated.

Lola said...

I just was going to say what Lisa in KVegas said...I think she tweeted it to Jennifer.

Lola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chopchop said...

What's with the boobies? ( Y ) <---- looks like cleavage

chachi said...

One time, at band camp, I slapped my boyfriend in the campfire at the face.

ethorne said...

@chachi- lmfao lololol

ino said...

The ex is shady. The way I read the story, she's being charged with stalking and battery for basically nagging him for a bit and then blocking him from going from one room to another before punching him in the chest. That's all it takes now? People do far worse things all the time and all they get is a sit-down from their girlfriends.