Sunday, March 10, 2013

Lindsay Lohan Doesn't Even Want House Arrest

For some reason, prosecutors are trying to make life easier on Lindsay Lohan. Maybe they feel sorry for her because she is the daughter of Dina & Michael, or maybe they think she will pass along some of her swag sometime. You know, the stuff she does not sell on ebay. Apparently prosecutors say that Lindsay does not need to go to rehab and she does not need to go to jail. All she has to do is have 90 days of house arrest. Of course that would suck for Lindsay because they would make sure she can't drink or do anything fun. I still don't know why she just won't go to jail for 11 days and be done with it all. If she goes in on a Monday, she will be out ready to party by the end of the next week.

71 comments:

Christopher Cruz said...

Dumbass.

Sugar said...

Lawd almighty (it's Sunday!) if she turns down all these plea deals, goes to trial and gets no punishment I'm going to kill her myself!

Anonymous said...

If she just goes to jail to get it over with, then all the attention will go away!! If her attention goes away, then her ass to ass price drops. This is the decision of a shrewd hooker who knows she won't be made to face any real consequences

Tyler said...

I think 'success' in circumventing the legal system has gone to her head.

Sherry said...

She's already had house arrest. Remember the big party she had wearing the swim suit and the ankle bracelet?

dia papaya said...

Anyone else would be in jail. WTF California! Why are you even negotiating with her like she has a choice in this? Is the case against her that shaky? You aren't doing anyone any favors with all this silliness.

Except the CDAN trial t-shirts! Those are awesome :)

La Descarada said...

Amen. Preach it!

faux101 said...

I can't wait for this trial! Jumping up and down in my seat with excitement ;)

But on a serious note, how is she going to be sentenced to house arrest when she doesnt have a home? At this point she's living off of other peoples kindess. Times have changed since she had her own house in Venice beach the last time she got house arrest.

kgirl said...

She won't make her daily rate if she's on house arrest. Plus a new mugshot would only add to her portfolio and she's in need of a new free headshot.She's a starlet afterall...

Sugar said...

Ohhh! I want a t shirt!!
Free LiLo! (Then I'll keel her!!)

goheels83 said...

"Her ass to ass price drops"

You owe me a new keyboard!!!!

timebob said...

don't take any deals gurlfriend, go to trial, ohhhh i'm salivating for a trial!


Anonymous said...

If they give her house arrest, she's gonna have to get a house.

Sugar said...

With this tricks luck mel Gibson or someone will swoop in and buy this dumb ho a brand new house to serve her house arrest in.

Katie said...

If house arrest only involved a location monitor , I don't know why she wouldn't take it. If there's an alcohol/drug bracelet, then she should just do jail.

Misch said...

Put the bitch in solitary and throw the key away...

LottaColada said...

Why isn't this case being featured on Judge Judy? I would LOOOVE Judge Judy to put her in her place.

Agent**It said...

TSHIRT:

NOT NOW IRONMAN ! (and on the other side) WHERE'S SHELLY?

Of course with the CDaN logo:)

ethorne said...

I wanna see this bitch on Scared Straight.

Chicky said...

Love :)

witwritergirl said...

This trick must have some pretty good dirt on some pretty important people.

Anonymous said...

In her world she's never guilty. That would entail admitting fault, looking at herself, her life, and for a drug addicted alcoholic prostitute, that's the last thing in the world she'd want to do. Only when she's ready, and wants it herself.

Anonymous said...

Don't blame this on California, this is all taking place in Los Angeles Court. This is their fault, don't blame it on the rest of us!

kelgela2 said...

Can't we write a letter to the judge asking for jail time for LiLo? In my political science class our professor told us about letters corporations can send to the judges presiding over a matter important to them.

Izzie said...

I feel bad for Cali. Jails are super full and the security it would take to house this trick (thank you, CDaNers, for teaching me that fun word!) would cost enough to have to release even more real criminals. That's why she gets negotiation privileges.

We need a trial party, like the Oscars!

whocaresnow12 said...

Want to really punish Lilo? Take away her cigarettes. That'll teach her a lesson.

LottaColada said...

OMG why hasn't enty thought of CDaN t-shirts? I would gladly buy one!

delete account said...

Im telling you, when--Not If--When Blowhan drives drunk/high and kills someone, their relatives are gonna have one hell of a lawsuit against the City and County of Los Angeles. Seriously and for real.

Jamie2 said...

Like a lot of people here, I am wondering how the state of CA can put her under house arrest when she doesn't have a house (even rented) in CA.

Anonymous said...

She's holding out cause she really thinks it can happen. she thinks she won't do anything

Moosefan said...

F her and her fame whore family. I am serious. Waiting for when we log on and see that she has overdosed or fallen off the side of some yacht owned by some sleaze millionaire. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Anna V. Xol said...

She is almost like a super villian. She can drive drunk putting people's lives in danger. She can steal from old ladies and stores, she can skip out of work obligations and still get paid. You know what....nevermind all the outrage. I hope she writes a self help book called Do Whatever the Fuck You Want: A guide to rapidly aging and telling others to kiss your ass.

Opie said...

I would buy a CDAN T too! Ya this would be interesting if she goes to trial. Why can't she do house arrest at her Mom's in NJ? Then her mom can set up "dates" in her high school bedroom. Super creepy and therefore can charge more $$!

MsWool said...

how can she get house arrest when she doesn't seem to actually have a house? or other place to live?? and no money with which to rent said place to live? Will they put her under house arrest at Chat Marmont??

Agent**It said...

I don't think there is a copyright on a blogger name, CDaN Or its variations. ??????Not sure.

Unknown said...

She does not want to go to jail because she can't go without pills and booze for 11 days. No rehab eihter or house arrest. She thinks she will get jail time and serve 8 hours and be released for overcrowding.

MadLyb said...

If I were her, I'd pass, too. No deals. I mean, the odds are very high that nothing is going to happen to her via the "justice" system. She's made a mockery of the courts and they're all too willing to let her. She will not do more than a half hour, max, so she's actually smart to reject all deals, because she'll end up with a better one in the end than anything offered so far.

Anonymous said...

I know MadLyb. I can't help but wonder if this lawyer is not incompetent but really mad genius.

Li said...

I agree with MadLyb. She will do far less "time" if she agrees to nothing. She'll go to "jail" or 2hrs and be free to, snort, smoke, drink and drive in no time.

Kloie said...

I like this picture. She should make it her new headshot.

audrey said...

She doesn't want house arrest for two main reasons. The first being that there are no paparrazzi in her house. Without the attention they give her on a day to day basis she will wilt and die. How else would she know that she was famous unless there was at least one person who isn't her father, taking pictures of her. The second reason is house arrest means she isn't free to run off to Dubai or where ever for a weekend. She would have to go to court to explain her reasons for needing to go, and then everyone would know without a doubt that she is nothing more than a hooker.

CrazyCatLady said...

LOL...she'd probably scare the convicts!

Xander Simon Dyle said...

@dia (and everyone) - I've been working on this since I talked about appearing at the court date in LA (on Thursday or Friday). I've already got designs going and will have a place for people to get them in the next 24 hours!
Keep checking HERE- and sometime in the next day they will be available.

I would love to have us representing in the crowd with the paps for anyone in LA on March 18th!

Anonymous said...

She should be the villian in the new avangers movie.

Xander Simon Dyle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mango said...

@ Lotta - OMG my dream would be for Judge Judy to preside over LiLo's case!!

I suggested to Enty that he sell "Not Now Ironman!/CDaN" t-shirts; let's see if he takes my advice. *fingers crossed*

Xander Simon Dyle said...

@Lotta and @Agent - I've already got designs going and shirts are already available!
Keep checking HERE
I will keep working on this all day and more and more designs will be appearing in the next 24 hours!

Elissa said...

I think this is just the Prosecutor's way of screwing with her; "Sure, we'll give you house arrest--now, what address will that be?"

I love that Enty finds the greatest pics for the Liho articles! Excellent!

Jenn said...

This girl..must give that judge some really good head.

cheesey.burrito.whore said...

I think they should move the whole mess to Texas. We have that fun sign as you enter the state that warns you up front "Don't Mess With Texas" and we also have the death penalty. As a side note I too want to know "Where's Shelley?"

Unknown said...

How cool!! ;-)

Lucas said...

@Everybody - we should all send in our reader photos wearing CDaN shirts! That'd be a riot.

Opie said...

Yup we need a NOT NOW IRONMAN T, and don't forget women's sizes!

cheesey.burrito.whore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Gotta love my home state!!! ;-)

Xander Simon Dyle said...

Kids - I have "Not Now, Ironman!", "Where's Shelly?", "@$$ 2 @$$", and a "Ghostie Burrito Whore" super cute cartoon I created all in progress.
They will be showing up where I posted the links above slowly over the next 24 hours! I'm trying to do various women's sizes and styles, as well as a few men's. Be patient, it takes a while to put it all together. If you have specific sizes you need, let me know at colorintervention @ gmail dot com.
But, I'm trying to create a wide range! I will keep working on this all night as long as I can stay awake! ;-) Hugs and fun my friends!

EGB said...

Alma, I still laughing over you calling Linds a upper villain, best description ever! And yes! Xander! All in, wish I was in SoCal instead of NorCal!

Xander Simon Dyle said...

Update T-Shirt link is HERE

Opie said...

Good job Xander!

Anna V. Xol said...

Thanks, EGB!! I think the comic version of lilo could take on Superman. Where all other villains declare their evil plan, you know she would just lie. "I didn't steal the kryptonite! Someone else stole that laser, you guys." Until Superman gets exhausted of arguing with her and just lets her go.

Goodnight said...

I am so fucking tired of celebrities escaping any kind of punishment. They barely ever go to jail for anything, and when they do they're out super fast.

Obvs Lindsay is giving free ass to ass to the prosecutor and perhaps free space docking for the judge?

To paraphrase MaKenzie:

Lilo's ass is a hard workin' lady.

Colleen said...

Those are AWESOME, Xander! Thank you so much.

cheesey.burrito.whore said...

I love this. I will need at least one of these.

cheesey.burrito.whore said...

(skipping off with my whorey burrito to check funds)

dia papaya said...

XANDER, YOU ARE AWESOME!

I wish I was in LA bc I would totally come out and support the CDAN Team. These are really fun! Thanks!

dia papaya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Xander Simon Dyle said...

@everyone!
I've done what I can for tonight. I've added a "Gossip/Bacon/Sandwich" T-Shirt to the designs.
(Don't know why I came up with that, but it seems right - ya know?)

Don't know when everything will show up, but it's there for you!
Enjoy! Have fun! Be kind to each other! (and me - lol) ;-)
Blessings and Joy to you all!
Cheers!

dia papaya said...

Night Xander! And thanks again! You rock :)

EGB said...

@alma, right? She has super evil powers that will outlast everyone!
@goodnight, anyone who busts out a Mackenzie quote is all good in my book...
Great way to end this daylight savings time weekend!

mooshki said...

Xander, you should do some bumper stickers as well for those of us who don't live in La-La Land. Wouldn't it be fun to spot other CDaNers in traffic?

jaariel said...

Eleven days without oxycontin & adderall is an eternity for an addict.

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