Friday, April 26, 2013

Gay Man Who Said He Was Turned Straight Now Said He Lied

Back in the day, John Paulk was the poster boy fro every organization that said that being gay was a choice and led the way for conversion therapy which said you could become straight from gay. I know, I know, but it is what some people believed. They probably still do. John Paulk though told PQ Monthly that he was never turned straight and that it was all for show for the group Exodus International which is an organization for former gay people. In 1998 he was on the cover of Newsweek with his wife. Oh, his wife said she used to be a lesbian but was turned straight too. Paulk wrote two bestselling books with his wife, but now is apologizing for everything he said or did in the past and admits therapy does not work and he is proud to be gay.

44 comments:

MISCH said...

Wow, not surprised....it's not a disease, and doesn't need to be cured.

Henriette said...

What about his wife? Did she go back to women?

FSP said...

I didn't know Vince Neil was gay.

Sarah said...

Thats the worst mug shot ever. I thought I hated Jessica Biel's bangs

LottaColada said...

I kept reading it as "Paul K"

Boozie said...

A friend Posted a picture he took of a protestor at a gay marriage rally. Sign he was holding said "homosexuals are gay!!" these whack a dos are at least entertaining

Sarah said...

I feel bad for him, you'd have to feel a lot of pressure from the people around you to try that.
I went to church a lot growing up, there was a gay man who attended for many years, I'm certain that he was gay but celibate. He was accepted by the congregation, but I think he seemed very lonely.

auntliddy said...

Of course it didnt work. And now he has bad hair and bad eye makeup. Tsk tsk. Wife still singing the converted song.

libby said...

Can I speak for the entire CDaN Community by screaming a loud 'DUH!!!' to this story ?

Imagine how much suffering that Newsweek cover and his 'therapy' endorsements caused, how many kids were hurt.

VIPblonde said...

Okay, real talk for a minute. I figured out why some people (cough closeted republicans cough) think that being gay is a choice.

We are either born gay, straight, bi, etc. We all know what we are inside. The "choice" comes in living openly as what you are, hence the "coming out" process. I think some people confuse the choice to live openly as a gay person, with the reality of being gay. Coming out is a choice, being gay is not. I have a male friend who is gay and who is purposely choosing to never come out and live as a "straight man." The same group of people that think you can "cure" being gay are the same ones that think being gay is a choice. It's not, but that tells me that a lot of the leaders in those organizations are probably gay and are "choosing" to live "straight."

Staple611 said...

I actually know quite a bit about this guy - he did a series of videos for Focus on the Family explaining how to prevent your children from becoming gay. I remember watching them (for a professional project) and laughing and laughing and laughing.

There is one part in the videos where he says something like, "Sure, LIBERALS come up to me and say, "you're still gay." and what do I say to them?!" (Cue me yelling at my TV: "You're still gay!!") Paulk: "I tell them, it doesn't matter what you think about me, I'm not gay anymore!" Then there was this really weird part where he admitted that when he got "really stressed out," he still fantasized about having sex with dudes, but that he could control it because he's not gay anymore. I am not kidding.

This kinda makes my day.

libby said...

VIP---Others have said it better, but I think anyone who tells you being gay is a 'choice', has thought about making that choice. Period.

Maja With a J said...

*LOL @ FSP* My thoughts exactly.

Good for him for at least admitting he was wrong.

Peter said...

What a cowardly fuck to be the cover boy for stuff that is still really fucking kids up, literally being told their evil until they kill themselves or give up and live a lie. If I ever saw him on the street I would kick his teeth in, he deserves no less. Ps with that hair and tan, breeders have to keep him, we don't want him on our team!

couriergrrrrl said...

Shortly after high school, a childhood friend of mine went away to some place to "let the blood of Christ wash the gay away". He came home and insisted he was no longer gay. He is now married to a poor clueless woman that has no idea who she is married to. I know one day the inevitable is going to happen and she is going to be left heartbroken. Why lie to everyone in your life? More importantly, why lie to yourself? I can't imagine going through life keeping up that charade.

CrazyCatLady said...

I thought it was Vince Neil too!

sylmarillion said...

You can't choose who you love, and you shouldn't have to. To an outsider looking in, the US does seem to be changing with regards to acceptance of gay people though. Is that the case or am I seeing it wrong?

PuggleWug said...

Lol Booze!

Karen said...

For some reason I like playing devil's advocate sometimes. I agree 100% that being gay isn't a choice, but I remember reading Bastard Out of Carolina, a semi-autobiographical tale of a girl who is sexually abused by her stepfather from when she's 6 years old into her teenage years.

The author (at the time I read it) was in a long-term lesbian relationship and they had their own kid/s. Though it is entirely possible that she was born gay, I can see where a child who is sexually abused at such a young age might subconsciously "choose" to be gay because he or she cannot emotionally handle sexual relationships with someone of the opposite sex once they reach adulthood.

Anyway, Libby, you're right that this guy screwed up many lives with his lies. It makes me angry at him and sad for those who were hurt because of him.

Peter said...

Soo? He validated something he knew to be horrible and damaging for confused children. Some people don't deserve to be forgiven. I think he deserves to be on the list with Hitler, pedophiles and people with bad shoes.. Sorry, just think this guy is a scumbag for knowingly accepting blood money. Being gay in the Midwest was a bitch and people like him made me think I really was sick. Luckily, I had accepting parents that wouldn't even think of conversion(changing who a person is)therapy. Sorry for the novel but sorry, he doesn't deserve a pass.

Cee Kay said...

@sylmarillion it's changing, surprisingly a lot quicker than I would have imagined. But I'm Canadian, so to me it seems like they're still in the dark ages. *L*

Peter said...

"Gawwwd, Karen you're so stupid!" Anyone get the Mean Girls quote? I think Kinsey got it right with his little sexuality scale, 1=total hetero-5=totally homo. I am gay all the way but have lots of friends that pick a team to play depending on day and drinks.. lol. I just think it shouldn't matter to anyone but the individual and who they choose to love.

Peter said...

Ps that was a joke if anyone didn't get it.. Now sorry for blowing up the comment section. Boss says get back to work, "you never type that fast if its work related, what are you doing?" Bitch has my #.. haha

NomNom83 said...

Obviously, the message that one can be "cured" of homosexuality is incredibly damaging. This guy paraded around as proof-positive that gay is a choice, a defect, unnatural and an abomination. I'm sure there are countless people suffering in silent shame, struggling every day to life a straight lie, and that makes me very sad for them and the bullshit they are mired in. The same bullshit this guy profited from.

All that said, I have to respect that he was willing to walk away from that and just be himself. I'll bet he's lost family and friends over this. Probably gets hatemail and threats. I'm sure his church isn't happy, if they even let him remain a member. Family. Friends. Faith. Those are cornerstones of life for most people. Probably worth it to choose inner peace, but I'm sure he's paid a hell of a price for that. How many others in his position have doubled down, just as he briefly did? How many cruise, lie and life secret lives? Ted Haggard. Larry Craig. Ken Mehlman. And so many others.

I hope he can be as vocal about the normalcy of being gay as he was about "conversion".

MadLyb said...

I don't get why some people are so terrified of Teh Gay. It's not like the plague, for Chrissakes. I can't wait for the day when we look back on this time and remember how ridiculous some people acted about something that was no big deal.

All about Eve said...

@Peter, completely agree, I'm glad you had supportive parents

Joy Wesley said...

European lesbian here. I worked for a time for our national gay rights organisation, and I did a lot of reading up on NARTH and their monstrous and damaging reparative 'therapyy'.

So actually VIPBlonde, the 'gay is a choice' crowd is of course completely wrong and misguided but in their universe their reasoning makes sense. You see, they don't believe in sexual orientation. Everybody on this planet is straight! So 'the choice' doesn't refer to coming out or living as gay because in their minds 'being gay' simply doesn't exist. It's all a matter of behaviour, ie sex. So for them it's about straight people having homosexual sex. That is why, when you stop having that sinful homosexual sex, you're no longer gay. So turning ex-gay usually just means being celibate. Lying to yourself is required, getting a partner of the opposite sex and lying to them as well is merely optional.

it took forever said...

Money is the root of all evil

just curious said...

Homosexuality is a choice for most. Very few are born gay.A lot homosexuals were molested as children which is why you shouldn't touch children.
As far as being delivered from the gay lifestyle, just like any other lifestyle whether its' a existence of infidelity, drugs, you can be reformed through whatever religion belief you chose to adhere.

Anna Nonymous said...

Don't worry, we didn't believe you anyway buddy. Happy Bath Housing! Oh, and being Gay isn't a choice, because.... who would choose it??? Because it's so cool? It's so "In" now? To be pistol whipped and left for dead hog tied to barb wire in freezing weather ? Beaten to death? Spit on? Disowned and cursed by your entire family as a freak and a monster? Oh yes, that sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to be a pariah! Where do I sign up??

Sylvia said...

What was the name of the minister that was outed and he is married and now he is claiming he is straight? This happen a couple of years ago. He was a popular minister (I believe).

ljsmed said...

Ted Haggard, he was also caught with meth at the time.

SubaruGirl said...

Like Cee Kay, I think I have a different view of this having been raised in Canada. We still have our issues, and too many kids committing suicide because they were bullied for being gay, but I don't think there's the mortal fear that someone in, say, Mississippi might have. I highly doubt that if homosexuality was a real choice, people would choose to be gay and to deal with the hardships caused by close-minded, arrogant jerks (who generally clutch a bible in one hand and their gay magazine in another). Lisa Ling did a great show on "conversion therapy" and the president of Exodus now says that this "therapy" is total BS and wants it to stop. I wonder what the world would look like if religion took a backseat and we treated everyone the way we wish to be treated - with kindness, dignity, and respect.

Einstein DeGeneres said...

Well this is sad because my stepson was sent to this conversion therapy, against his will and without our knowing, but his evil (bless her heart) mother. Thankfully it didn't "take" and he is - as he always was - out and proud. He is 35 and in a loving relationship.

I think that the whole "choice" thing was started by a bunch of extra-religious bisexuals. They think they chose to be straight because they decided not to try same sex relationships in their own lives.

No one gay or straight makes a choice. Bisexuals make a choice when they settle down/get married.

infidelmel said...

I'm one of those people who were affected by this guy's BS. I came out to my ultra-religious parents in my mid-20s and their response was an 8 page letter on how I was a sinner and rebellious along with a copy of the book this guy wrote. I did read part of the book but it was sickening, and I just KNEW that some day this very story would appear somewhere. And yea, Joy Wesley is right, anti-gays don't see "gay" they see a lifestyle that you choose. My parent told me if I was gay in my heart it was fine, but if I acted on it (had sex) then I was a sinner. So basically I had 2 options - could live a lie and be with a man or never fall in love or have sex. Effing ridiculous that people still think this way.

Xander Dyle said...

@FSP
I thought it was Tan Mom.

Nothanksdarlin said...

Oh honey, that spray Tan. Now that you're "gay again" go get yourself sone real friends that will save you from your terrible style

Agent**It said...

just curious, wtf?

I asked you nicely to get new shtick because the old racist schtick was boring and stupid. But this new homophobic schtick is also boring and stupid. Forgive my frankness. Please try again?

anon said...

No shit Sherlock. Of course you can't cure something that doesn't need curing!

It would be one thing if he had kept his ideas to himself. But he didn't. He wrote books and made money off this destructive BS and left a trail of destruction behind him so he can fuck. right. off.

and just curious - so wrong in every way and and you can fuck. right. off. too!

Sherry said...

SubaruGirl: Amen!
Don't even bother anyone. Please I beseech thee?
Peter I understand your anger but I hope this helps you heal and forgive. If the religious nuts want to love the sinner but not the sin then I think we can show them how much better we are at that too. And thank you for sharing your story. It was important to hear. Glad you had parents who loved their child and didn't believe any of that bullshit. I know it was tough growing up but it made you a stronger person and thank God the world is changing, albeit not as fast (in the US) as any of us would like.

My uncle Mitchell was beaten up by father because he was gay. My dad wasn't in my life very long but my dear Uncle Mitch was. I definitely got the better deal. Rest his soul. I loved him dearly and miss him profoundly. He was a casualty of the crisis.

I just read John Irving's "In One Person". I highly recommend. It tells the story of a bi-sexual man through the 50's and up to the present and how much it's changed. One day not allowing marriage between the same sex will be as stupid as interracial marriage being illegal.

csproat said...

gosh @just curious

Thanks for giving us the straight dope on the ole' gay is a choice question!!

Militantly ignorant much?

nudibelle said...

couldnt resist the lure of the dick any longer

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

"Gay is a choice." What a load of garbage!

If a person can choose who they're attracted to, that must mean we ALL can choose who we like.

Think of your most hated politician, celebrity, or enemy that is the same sex you are. Now be attracted to them. Imagine yourself getting it on with that person. Can you do it without being grossed out?

Jordan Von Teese said...

Idk a lot of kids/ppl these days think that being gay is the "style that's in"!

Being in the life myself....not a choice on who you are but definitely a choice who you decide to love and not really who you are in love with.