Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Jon Gosselin Has Written A Tell All

Four years after Jon Gosselin walked away from fame and fortune and a national television show to sell his soul and his peen to strange women and Ed Hardy clothes, he is back. TLC can't do anything to him any longer and he can write anything or say anything and can be on any show he wants. So, for starters he has written a book. A book that tells all that went on in his marriage. All I want to know is if Kate has sex with the bodyguard. That is it. Chapter One, Page One and then let me get on with my life. I don't need a book tour from Jon or a bunch of interviews like he has given recently. I know he needs to make a living and that he is dead broke. That happens when you walk away from hundreds of thousands of dollars each year so you can have sex with someone who left you after a month. when that money rolls in, you ride it like Jennifer Aniston in another bad movie. You ride that wave until it can't hold your weight anymore and then you try and get back on and paddle it to land. You make them force you off that board like a shark in SharkNado.

23 comments:

Patty said...

Slow gossip day?

FSP said...

How dare you bring Sharknado into this.

SayWhat said...

Speaking of SharkNado and the scent of blood...

Princess said...

His book will probably be a hell of a lot more interesting than any of hers. I haven't read any of hers but I like him much better than her. Just my opinion.

VIPblonde said...

Jon Gosselin wrote a pamphlet?!

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

I don't know this guy or that Kate mentioned in the post, but I like his shirt.

Ruby Soho said...

I highly doubt this tool can even READ a book, let alone write one....I bet it's got lots of pictures and large print.

Barton Fink said...

For an obese doofus, he always seemed cute to me.

fancyscreenname said...

I want to beat him for that outfit alone.....ick

auntliddy said...

Sadly, i confess to being completely interested in all the gnarly details of kate gosselin's psycho behavior. Now having said that , ill prob completely forget about the book witihin the half hour, lol

Alicia said...

Return of the ick nast!

Now can someone please return our Enty?

NATHANIEL MANELLA said...

Yes "Herpes-Burnin from the Yearnin'". You can find it at the local health dept

Baka Neko said...

I hope he realizes by writing crisp about his ex wife he is hurting his children in the long run.

Ruby Soho said...

right? we should put up missing blogger posters!

B626 said...

Yup, don't recognize this writer

NomNom83 said...

Bitch, please. You know who deserves to write a tell-all? The two older twins. THOSE kids were old enough for all the shenanigans to really make an impression. Life was cool until six more kids showed up and mom and dad lost their goddamn minds.

Mango said...

@ fancyscreenname - Be thankful for small mercies. At least he's not wearing a mesh shirt.

Tru Leigh said...

My dearest wish has come true.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

I'd fuck him.

miss Z said...

I am only interested in the details about Crazy Kate.I am sure none of it will be that juicy because she probly lawyered up faster than a snip to that reverse mullet she used to wear.

miss Z said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mngddess said...

I will wait for the older twins tell-all. That will be FANTASTIC.

Gabi said...

Ba ha ha, funniest post I've read in a long time!