Thursday, August 15, 2013

Blind Items Revealed

May 13, 2013

This C list celebrity who once was kind of on a reality show is someone you would think you would never have heard of, but it turns out she has almost A list name recognition. She also shares something in common with Lindsay Lohan besides a drug habit. Two things they share in common actually other than a drug habit. Two guys. One for drugs, the other for cash. What does she do in return? Lets just say she is not shy about anything and is way more accommodating than Lindsay.

Brooke Mueller

27 comments:

fancyscreenname said...

SHOCKER!!!! Druggie broad does ass2ass for drug dealer/ drugs.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

LMAO

Uhhhh... said...

Crack Ho!

888 said...

She was married to Charlie Sheen, of course she will do anything, and I mean UH-NUH-THAAAAANG, that can be done. Which of course leads to the need for more drugs to forget the nasty stuff you did...and there's the life story of Crackhead Brooke in one paragraph.

Count Jerkula said...

You gotta be kidding me. No way Lindsay don't take it in the dumper or toss salad. Only way I'd believe Brooke is more accommodating is if she don't complain about it while doing it. I could see Lindsay bitching and moaning through the ass sex, trying to ruin it so you go back to the vag or mouth. Like a broad giving a toothy BJ, and barely going past the head, so you will say to hell with and and just bang her.

JELUS H8R H8N HARD said...

Oh Jerkula, anal and oral are so passe to these depraved whores. I'm thinking child rape, bestiality and all sorts of other really bad stuff. I'm not sure if there's anything AS bad as those two but I'm sure you know if there is.

Count Jerkula said...

Beastiality?? I'd watch Lindsay or Brooke do a consenting pitbull for an 8ball. I wouldn't be able to jack off to it, but I'd watch.

Borg Queen said...

How can she be more accommodating than Lindsay (who lets remember has turned tricks with her mom & lil sis). That's really sad.

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

Normal anal and oral are easy for these two. Even ass to ass or ass to mouth must be usual in their lifes.

I guess that what "accommodating" has to mean is more about DVDA, bestiality or going Max Hardcore or Veronica Moser (google at own risk) or something mostly unknown out of Japan and Germany.

Sugar said...

OHHH! A post we won't get in trouble for for saying ASS TO ASS! -)(-
I'm scared to look up Max Hardcore or Veronica Moser. Will someone do it for me?

Count Jerkula said...

Max Hardcore is a cowboy hat wearing porn producer stuck in 1989. He is known for rough gonzo sex scenes with emaciated whores dressed up and acting like little girls. He was persecuted by the government and spent over a year in federal prison for obscenity charges. Basically they went to an ultra conservative jursidiction and ordered a version of one of his DVD that was to be distributed in Europe (Euro because of piss play)from a third party vendor. Even though Max didn't sell the video in the US, they hung an obscenity charge on him and got him convicted on the second try.

I don't like the guy because he went dry anal on Kelsey Michaels and ruined her for the buttsecks. She never did it on video again :(

Redd said...

OK, I took one for the team and googled Veronica Moser- but as a result have now lost the ability to effectively communicate.

Sugar said...

Haha Redd! I guess I'll have to go home and google in a dark and private room to find out.
Thanks for the Max Hardcore summary, Jerky!

NaughtyNurse said...

Could somebody (Count?) please explain what tossing salad is to this old broad?

OneEyeCharlie said...

From now on, Count will be Wikipornia in my mind.

Bubbles said...

Wow, this is earth shattering stuff. Ex hooker who screwed for drugs and money currently screws for drugs and money. Now that is a surprise! Didn't see that coming.

Count Jerkula said...

@naughtynurse: Rimming, aka analingus, aka what every girl should do the night she get engaged or after especially bitchy periods.

It is fun to see a chicks expression the first time a tongue goes in her butt. Some no sell it, some freak out and some's eyes will bug out, but they will just go with it and enjoy it.

As for being on the receiving end (heh) one of my goals in life is to have my ass eaten while getting a bj. Seems like that would be complete sensory overload.

@ one eye: lol. If only I could use my powers for personal gain.

Sugar said...

How can you see their expression if your face is in their asses?
PS You have very lofty life goals!

I thought tossing the salad was code for female masturbation.

Count Jerkula said...

Angle them towards a mirror or hike the hips up with pillows almost into a piledriver position.

JELUS H8R H8N HARD said...

Count, ANIMALS CAN'T CONSENT!! And I find it hard to believe you haven't gotten your butthole eaten while getting a BJ, have you at least gotten some chick to jerk you while licking that bootay?

Oh my god I cannot believe I am asking these questions....*sigh*

CaliGirlinVA said...

I googled Veronica Moser. Yes, there was an Aurora shooting victim with that name but I think who saw that missed the other entries. I saw one word and did not click the link: SCAT.

Sugar said...

Naturally! I figured there had to be a way but my butthole is a lily white virgin so I didn't know.
Do you use some sort of dental dam or do you taste butthole? ew.

Hazeldazel said...

Since Lindsay is a porta-potty hooker, I'm having a hard time imagining how Brooke could be more accomodating? Or maybe she's more chillax about getting paid and doesn't text you 1000 times after for more money. Or only steals a tiny bit compared to LiLo.

Count Jerkula said...

@jelus: of course I've had the rusty trombone done on me. Ya think I'm in Jr High or something?

Maybe dogs can't consent, but there is a huge difference if the dog is enjoying it or hating it. In my younger days I seen a video of a fat chick blowing a german sheperd and the pooch wasn't diggin it. Some dude was holding it down and he was whimpering. I felt worse for the dog than the fat chick. Of course in the years since the Internet gained popularity, I seen dogs banging decent looking chicks and they seemed to enjoy it.

@Sugar: Dental dam? WTF? Are you kiddin me? I don't go starfish divin right after they pinch a loaf, it has to be clean w/ just a hint of ass smell. If it tastes like ivory soap I might as well lick her elbow. If I wanted to lick a piece of latex I could purchase a rubber hindquarter some where and only have to buy one dinner.

Count Jerkula said...

@cali girl: I'll have to check that out later. Not that I'm a fan of poop, but I enjoy watching the chicks' expressions to try to figure out what they are thinking.

I seen a clip recently of a chick smearing dookie on her face and eating a chunk and the only thing I could think of is she cheated on her dude, he tild her to do that or he'd break up with her, then soon as he got the video he put it on the net.

Kassandra said...

You do realize how incredibly risky analingus is, correct? The amount of bacteria that is in the anal area is off the chart, even with serious bleach-like cleaning (um, anal secretions?).

Fingers, members...this is all good, but licking up the bacteria from someone's ass? No thank ye.
i'm a freak in every sense of the word, but this is kind of a stickler for me. Much like eating organ meats.

i feel like anal sex/anal-lingual sex is the new up-the-ante. The next thing you know, we'll all be bragging about how we all love golden showers or scat-play. Can we just look at this in a logical manner? You can and will get seriously sick tossing someone else's salad.

//getting laid off next Friday and just thought i'd vent about something that is really not that important to me lol.

Count Jerkula said...

@kassandra: according to experts the flora between the buttocks of 2 people livung together a year is the same, making ass eating much less dangerous. That aside, unless a bitch gots hepatitis or one in the chamber, aint nothin that scary about lickin balloon knot. I've never gotten sick from it and the only preventative measures I take is to have Scope on hand.

One time I did do it when the chick was fresh off 45min of elliptical, just to prove to myself I was tough enough. Pushed her face down on the bed, pulled her yoga pants down to her knees, ate her pussy and butt till she came and then banged her as hard as I possibly could. Fun times.

Sorry about the lay off.

Anal ain't the new up the ante. 3sum harder to come by than anal. And who hasn't peed on their partner in the shower?

Aoife said...

I'm sorry. LiLo has inhibitions?