Monday, August 05, 2013

Random Photos Part Five

Britney Spears headed to church and in a matching outfit with her boyfriend. Top spot.

Carla Bruni is back modeling and back showing off bikinis in France.
Chloe Moretz in Boston after finishing her latest movie.
Charlize Theron in Rome.

Eva Longoria on a red carpet and
yeah, I'm not sure. I don't think a fork should be going there though.
Farrah Abraham at some award show where she got an award and it was not for porn or being a bad parent.
Graham Elliot has lost almost 60 pounds. Looks good.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy shit Graham : don't know who you are but mega kudos to you- great job!

Anonymous said...

And Charlize always looks effortlessly classic and chic.

Pookie said...

i love britney's dress (minus the hooker boots) for winter.

why is farrah that teen lady thing, being invited to stuff?

no clue who graham whoever is, but good for him!

Unknown said...

Love Graham! SO happy for him.

Count Jerkula said...

Charlize

Brit Brit

Backdoor teen whore, but only if she promises not to look back at me while I'm bangin her.

trainrides said...

@Count And then what happens if she (teen mom) breaks her promise?

Tori said...

Farrah's dress is so tacky.

Kelly said...

Brit's attire is doing her no favors.

mygeorgie said...

I had to use a fork in HS to pic out a bad perm (that my mother insisted looked "perfectly fine, and yes, you ARE going to school before it grows out!"). Maybe Eva's got some fro action going on down there.

Anotheramy said...

Wait, Brits BF took her to church? He worked on a Sunday?

Anonymous said...

Donkey punch. Or she turns into a pillar of salt

Unknown said...

Hate to admit this, but I love Farrah's dress. Cut, color, everything.
Gahhh, I need to go shower now, I feel dirty

Anonymous said...

Renoblondee- i concur. It's not partic flattering.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha my georgie! I never needed a perm at either end. Just invested in a ghd to get rid of curls. It does look like she's hunting for pube lice, or she needs canestan

auntliddy said...

Eva prob trying to fish tie out of fabric so she can tie it. Only thing i can think of!
Brits outfit too tight and too short.

califblondy said...

It's hotter than hell in SoCal and Brit wears that to church?

I'm glad to see Graham looking so good. I just love him and it seemed like he was getting bigger every season in Master Chef

Jessie said...

I hate Farrah's dress. The only thing possible to make it tackier is her so kudos for that.

Anonymous said...

@calif: ohhhhh! He's a chef! I've often thought a chef w a weakness for food is like having a drug addict run a pharmacy. It would be so freakin hard to work every day with your poison/weakness.

Susan said...

Charlize is so glam. Love it.

Amazing how an awful dress can make somebody so tiny look so dumpy: See Eva L.

parissucksliterally said...

Farrah got an award? For WHAT?!

Charlize looks great.

NICE Britney. PERFECT for church. *rolls eyes*

Count Jerkula said...

@TrainRides: I'm thinking I'll lose my wood, so I'll have to spank her till I'm hard again. That wouldn't be a playful "naughty girl" spanking either.

It would be more along the lines of:

"You stupid bitch, what did I tell you? *SPANK SPANK SPANK* WHAT *SPANK* THE FUCK *SPANK* DID... I... TELL... YOU??!!?? *rapid fire spanks* *grabs hair and pulls it back to lift her head off the bed* Say it! *SPANK!* Tell me what the fuck it is I told you when we started this. *WACK WACK WACK* What? *slap* Louder! *SPANK* I said LOUDER! *SPANK* Don't make me get my belt, bitch..... That's it. Now yer learnin. *she sits up*

Whoa, hold on. Don't wipe the tears away, eyeliner streaks are hot, Baby. Alright, alright its gonna be OK. You catch your breath, Sweetie? *rubs her back* Gooooood. Back to your hands and knees again, Honey, and lets finish this off.

*gentle pats on tush* I'm sorry Lil Miss Fine Ass, but if you can't keep this betch in check, I gotta do it and spankin you is the easiest way. *rubbing on the red marks on the butt* Noooo, I'm not upset with you, I know it wasn't your fault. *kneeding buttcheeks* I got so mad because I don't want anything to interrupt our time together. Hold on, lemme lube up again and I'll get back to showin you how much I appreciate you. *soft kiss on each cheek*"

Do women find it dehumanizing if a guy speaks directly to a body part? Like this hypothetical convo with Farrah's butt that was the second half of my lil creative writing, or talking you your titties while working on them during foreplay. I would imagine an ongoing conversation with your vagina, during intercourse, would be annoying, but I think a few kind words to it, during oral may go over well.

I don't know though. Maybe tell me which of these you would rather hear while cunnilingus is being performed:

A) "Your pussy tastes soo good."

B) "You're a tasty lil pussy, aren't you."

C) Say whatever you want, Tool. I'm concentrating on an orgasm and not paying attention to a thing you say.

No matter what, this post should keep Miss Mess from tellin me I don't have it anymore.

Anonymous said...

Wowsa count! Hate sex! That's what your post made me think of. Nothing wrong w speaking to body parts. My hubby & I have named his gonads, willy and sphincter, my saddle bags, vajay & arseholey-o.

Anonymous said...

You people have created a monster ............

Count Jerkula said...

@fancyscreenname: Whatchu mean YOU people?

Anonymous said...

Jesus. "You people" would encompass such a varied motley crew if ever I encountered one.

Ja'mie King said...

Carla Bruni's face looks ghoulish, even from that far away. Good job on the plastic surgery, former supermodel.

Eva Longoria's body is bizarre looking in that fork photo. Not. Flattering. Just like her personality!!

Go Graham! Wow, what a difference 60lbs makes.

Bit dams said...

Farrah looks like the ultimate beauty queen; too much of everything. I want to know who gave her an award that doesn't involve any of her known "talents".

Anonymous said...

Me, she can take it up the arse like nobody's business? That would make for an interesting award statuette.

Anonymous said...

Count: miss mess will be relieved you haven't gone all soft cock on us.

Anonymous said...

Ruby! Wash your mouth out! Lol

trainrides said...

Holy buttfucker, @Count! 500 more pages of this and the Pulitzer might rethink an adult lit category

Count Jerkula said...

Thank you TrainRides. Maybe at best though I get a Pull It Prize from Penthouse Letters, or maybe NOW would give me a female equivalent, the Rub It Prize.

Unknown said...

@Rach....
I knowwwww!!! I'm so ashamed, lmao

Bebedog said...

What the heck kind of church does Brit attend that she dresses like that to go? But at least she's going.

Unknown said...

@Seven of Eleven....
Nice pic, lol....that show needs to hurry up and come back. And then stay on forever.
=}

Unknown said...

@count j...
Lmfao at "rub it prize"

Anonymous said...

Anotherapy: if Brit attends a church in her cultural context, being white trash (she does wear Uggies in public), then do they serve moonshine and cornbread for communion?

SophiaB said...

Looks like WAY more than 60! AweSOME!!!! No clue who he is either. Needs a hairdresser who does not use garden shears fer shure...

SophiaB said...

But it looks PERFECT on her so I kinda like it. Not many can carry off seafoam Chicago the way it was meant to BE-as in NEVER EVER EVER.

SophiaB said...

Let's go sit in a dark corner together. It is AWFUL and I can probably only bear the shame knowing someone else who has MUCH better taste than me is in the same boat...

SophiaB said...

Where do I sign UP? Well except no corn on my list of accepted food. I WAS born in Alabama (next to Louisiana where Our Lady of the Cheeto-Lay rails from) so that's gotta count for sumthin'.

SophiaB said...

@Calif: lucky ME. headed to frickin' PALMDALE and Long Beach for 10 days. I hope the ice cream truck stops by every 30 minutes. I am SO NOT a desert rat. Getting paid to help a friend clear her mom's home for sale. Thank GOD she is hiring some muscle as I shall be expired on the couch most of the time I should imagine.

Unknown said...

@SophiaB....
We need help, clearly.

Anonymous said...

Sophia: his mum may have given him a bowl cut at home!

Anonymous said...

Sophia: I can truthfully say if there existed such a church, I'd be there every Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Ruby and Sophia : if that's all you need to feel shameful of, you're obviously not doing it right!

Unknown said...

@Rach...

Hush. That's all I have to feel guilty on on THIS post.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it
;)

Honey Bunny said...

Now Brit Brit. Just because you can dress like a streetwalker don't mean that you should. SMDH

TalksTooMuch said...

Since you were soliciting feedback, count, for what its worth, every time you use the word "lil " every gross creeper alarm bell goes off. I usually can't even finish reading the sentence. Since you asked!

Ivana Hump said...

I think he's on a cooking show

Anonymous said...

Rubes: as long as they're guilty pleasures! What is life about, if not for vice and a little fun!

Unknown said...

@rach
Amen, babe....a-friggin-men
=}

iknowpeople said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iknowpeople said...

Graham Elliot is a marvelous chef with restaurants in Chicago.

Count Jerkula said...

@TalksTooMuch: Aint that a lil oversensitive?

TalksTooMuch said...

Maaaaybe. But I can't help it dude! If that was said in the moment, party at the y would be all the way over

Count Jerkula said...

OK, TalksTooMuch. I feel ya there. I think that is a light year or 2 greater in creepiness than Lil Miss Fine Ass, though.

caydian said...

...and of course, I'm tryin' to eat lunch here...

Jenn said...

Brit looks like she's time traveled here from a 90's school dance.

VeeBee said...

@SophiaB I'm in Palmdale and yep it's damn hot. But like we always say: "at least it's a dry heat!"

Advertisements

Popular Posts from the last 30 days