Friday, September 13, 2013

Nicole Kidman Touches The Ground- Freaks Out

Yesterday afternoon while leaving a show at New York Fashion Week sponsored by Mercedes Benz...Wait hang on right there. I would love to see some other company pony up the dough to sponsor Fashion Week. I would particularly like to see some kind of stool softener company be the main sponsor and then watch all of the celebrities forced to pose against a backdrop advertising that softener. That would be amazing. It isn't like they don't pop them like candy anyway so it would make sense. Just a thought. Now back to Nicole.

Nicole was coming out of a show and was hit by a biker who was on the sidewalk. Yes, the bicyclist was a pap but Nicole isn't the first person to get knocked over by a cyclist in NYC. They got knocked down all the time and cyclists hit pavement all the time too. Nicole acted like it was the end of the world and called the cops on the guy. Nicole doesn't touch the ground. She knows it exists and once went on a picnic but had her staff bring along more blankets than a remake of The Princess And The Pea. The police came and issued the cyclist a ticket for riding on the sidewalk but Nicole didn't get her wish that he be killed or at least forced into hard labor for the rest of his life with no pay. She must have loved being married to Tom Cruise and when some assistant dared to put milk in her tea have them sentenced to a billion years in the Sea Org before spending the next twenty minutes trying to adjust her non eating body into a different position and trying to force a smile back to her mouth.

57 comments:

MerryB said...

Oh so it's the Nicole hating Ent today.

Welcome back Jax! No one missed you.

Him said...

Dun dun DUNNNN!!

Payme Nowclix said...

I'm trying to master the art of eating a powdered sugar doughnut without looking like I just got back from Charlie Sheen's house.

Notorious W.i.g. said...

WTF! This post went in 84 different directions! You suck already today "Enty"!!!!

LocoLola said...

Wah, wah, wah!! All'a time bitching! It's a gossip blog, ffs!

Notorious W.i.g. said...

Happy Suckfest Friday!

annabella said...

wow, that is alot of nicole hate. not to mention bitterness.

the pap was racing to get a picture and his brakes failed or he just drove badly. she could have gotten really hurt. and she must have been frightened.

so, why make it out that she is a big princess? he should be arrested, because it was more than a random accident.

it seems that they deal w/this better in LA and he probably would have been arrested.

Lilbeach said...

Wtf... How is this reaction so outrageous?? It is surprising he didn't end up with a high heel up his ass. Good for her she got the cops. The paps are so aggressive trying to get their shots that they don't care if they are reckless and put people's lives in danger. That doesn't make her high and mighty. Stop being a hater Enty of the day!! Your posts are fucking obnoxious.

MerryB said...

Jax is just jealous.

Jealousy is a sickness Jax, get well soon.

auntliddy said...

Oh spit spot enty. She's working, and this 16 yr old 'pap' crashes into her trying to get a picture, which, if he's riding a bike I dont know how he's gonna do that anyway. Bike slams into her, knocks her to ground, knocks heel off shoe, and you think she's over reacting to call cops???!!! I totally agree with her! What, now if a celeb is standing outside posing, he/she automatically assumes risk of getting plowed into by bike as a matter if course? Dont be stupid. Anyway, wouldnt it have been great if she got up swinging and knocked the crap outta this guy!! Now those wld be great pics!!!!

Payme Nowclix said...

IF THE HOUSE STARTS TALKING TO YOU..GET OUT.

LocoLola said...

Green can be such an unattractive color, Jaxxie. You would do well to avoid it.

auntliddy said...

Lolol,lild, im cracking here at'heel up the ass'!

lelale said...

Asshole pap rode his bike on the sidewalk from the event to catch her walking into her hotel.His brakes failed. He endangered himself and any person who was on the sidewalk when there is a BIKE LANE. I love that the non-dick paps got the good shot while the idiot is in trouble.

In no way was Nicole a jerk for being angry at the idiot.

She was so pissed one of her eyebrows almost moved.

SueRH said...

Apparently this particular pap is a HUGE nuisance and has had run-ins with other celebs. Screw him.

auntliddy said...

And now that i think of it, where was security? What if this ass balloon had a gun?! Disgusted with the stupidity.

Topper Madison said...

Is this supposed to be funny? It sounds like it was written by a 12-year old.

Della said...

sad that she fell and someone continued to take pictures instead of helping her get up.

Cleodacat said...

I'm pretty much in agreement with everyone else. If someone plowed into as hard as it appears in the video I would be PISSED and then add in that he was papping me, I would probably give roid-rage a run for its money.

Bells said...

Go to DListed if you don't like Enty. This for celebrity GOSSIP. He can make fun of people if he wants to.

Orvilla Bedinbacher said...

@Bells oh we know about Michael K but we still cum here...yeah we're crazy!

Notorious W.i.g. said...

Michael K makes fun of people too but he's actually FUNNY!!!

Bells said...

All of you just bitch. Enty doesn't have to blog, but he does. You keep reading. Go away if it's bad. It's not his fault you aren't smart enough to understand his wit.

Jade Knickerboxers said...

If she had been smart, best thing would have been to lay there and scream with the heels in different directions and the 'unmentionables' showing! In come the paramedics and they wisk her away to determine injuries. The pap goes to jail, for awhile anyway.... Oh well it would of been nice to see some real acting! Oh well.

Jade Knickerboxers said...

If she had been smart, best thing would have been to lay there and scream with the heels in different directions and the 'unmentionables' showing! In come the paramedics and they wisk her away to determine injuries. The pap goes to jail, for awhile anyway.... Oh well it would of been nice to see some real acting! Oh well.

figgy said...

Oh shut up already about Nicole not eating, faux-Enty. She eats. She's thin, but she's nowhere close to anorexic.

Erin B said...

If this happened to an actress Enty likes, it would have been a totally different story.

caralw said...

Way to blame the victim. It's illegal to bike on the sidewalk. She could have been severely hurt.

And Bells, if Enty didn't have comments, nobody would read this. If s/he doesn't like them, s/he can turn them off and get no traffic.

No Mother said...

Poor Nicole. I would love to take her home to Mother and help her clean up her injuries. We have a very nice room she could stay in, with a shower.

boomom22 said...

That would have pissed me off too.

rhinovodka said...

I hate cyclists that ride on the sidewalk, unless you are a child.

Count Jerkula said...

Too bad her dress wasn't shorter. Coulda been our first celeb butthole slip. I been craving one of them like LiLo craves a yam bag dipped in blow.

ian mcgrinty said...

It was already confirmed that she didn't call the cops or the ambulance. Another fail by the Nicole hating enty.

When even people that hate Nicole are getting sick of the constant hate bs articles about her, you know your site is in trouble...

__-__=__ said...

Reveal on using laxatives to diet? Agree with Jade. That guy should have been riding in the street. Read he was ticketed. Glad nobody else was hurt.

DewieTheBear said...

DListed's write up was wittier, but that's nothing new.

Mileys Tongue said...

Count, I thought it looked like a very close call. She was clearly not wearing any undies.

Scallywag said...

Don't blame her one wit. I recall many times working in downtown D.C. wishing I had an Indiana Jones whip to lasso that rear wheel and watch the asshat on the bike somersault over the handlebars.

parissucksliterally said...

I would have been fucking PISSED. Bicycles are vehicles and should NOT be on the sidewalk unless you, the rider, are under 10 years old.

Auto Co-Wrecked said...

Ida chassed hiz azz down an missed him up

Count Jerkula said...

@MissTongue: Tell me about it. As ice cold as her heart is, Nicole does have a phenomenally hot ass, so I'd like to think there is a pretty lil pale starfish hidden in there. All dainty and pink, nestled in a shock of fiery red hair. A "come hither" wink or two making me so giddy that I get week in the knees as I use me thumbs to lift and separate the butt cheeks. Slight wiff of ass and pussy smell wafting into my nostrils, causing my cock to jump from floppy to rigid almost instantaneously.

I want to taste it and explore it and experience it sooooo fucking bad, but I fear scaring her away by focusing my lust on her delicate dookie dropper. "Snap out of it MAN!" races through my head. "You know what to do. Create a goddam diversion! WORK THAT FUCKING CLIT!"

Yes sometimes Illuminati style false flag missions are needed to accomplish goals. The fantastic fair fartbox must wait a moment while attention is focused on the clit, to make blood rush from her brain to her nether regions until her judgment is impaired enough to embrace all varieties of pleasure. This also affords me the chance to nuzzle up to her pretty pink pucker. Running my nose back and forth over it, foreshadowing the sensations she is to experience shortly.........

Marisa said...

Bikers in this city are assholes. Fuck that guy.

Count Jerkula said...

@marisa: they are cyclists, not bikers.

Biker = Beer and Booze
Cyclist = Latte and Smart Water

Biker = Burgers and Steaks
Cyclist = Tofu and Thai Food

Biker = Meth and Cocaine
Cyclist = Paxil and Adderall

Biker = Safe For Work
Cyclist = Safe For Work

Renoblondee said...

#teamNicole

Lilbeach said...

I feel like I just read 50 Shades of Ginger Crotch... Lol

Lilbeach said...

The slide show on Dlisted has one frame where it looks like she's going for it! Lol.

Lisa said...

I am not a fan of Nicole's but that was BS Enty! The jerk is lucky he took down her and not someone that has an attitude lol as they would have been likely to have gotten up and knocked to hell out of him.
I know I would have been livid and would have been going OFF on him when the cops got there.

Count Jerkula said...

I check out them DListed pics. That dress she's wearing is completely susceptible to those skilled in XRay pics.

NSFW Celeb X-Ray Thread


LetLoveRule said...

I agree, Lisa! If this guy knocks down say, Alec Baldwin or Emma Roberts, he'll regret it!

Krissie said...

I knew everybodyw ould hate this post but i found it hilarious.

Nicole Kidman sucks, she left her first two kids with that loony midget.

ureallyannoyme said...

more cyclists in manhattan need to end up on their asses. i hope the new mayor does away with the bicycle lanes. cyclists know they can push through pedestrians easier than vehicles. and it's not the professional messengers for the most part. the last asshole who almost hit me (and a dozen other pedestrians) was wearing a suit.

Iceberg said...

I hate asshole bicyclists. I say call the police on all of them.

NaughtyNurse said...

Nicole was completely right. A pap on a bicycle, up on the sidewalk??? Hell no! That is bullshit. Bicyclists in the city are always breaking the law, riding the wrong way against traffic, hopping up on the sidewalks, running into people (I have personally been hit by one), and then they scream when they fall. Add to this the fact that this guy was trying to get a f-ing picture??? Prosecute him.

NotBuyingItInNashville said...

She called the paps to the hotel! Why is she so upset?

it took forever said...

She had all the right to yell and shout if she wants to, getting hit by a bike at that speed can harm you

char said...

Can you explain who Jax is. My understanding is she was a original poster on here but why do you think she is now a Enty?

evie2345 said...

No account I read said she threw a fit, but instead just got up and went inside. Silly to make her seem like a raving lunatic here. The pap was obviously at fault and could have really hurt her.

LadyWawa said...

How about when it's the other way around? If Nicole or one of her bodyguards has knocked down a so called paparazzo you know sure as sh!t the photog would be filing charges and then suing. Photos may pay their bills, but it is not how they contribute to their retirement fund. Suing celebrities is.