Thursday, November 14, 2013

All Kardashian Men Sleep Away From The Coven

Whether or not Bruce Jenner is divorcing Kris Jenner there is one absolute fact to the story. Bruce Jenner does not spend the night with Kris and has not for a very long time. Whether or not Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian is divorcing Lamar Odom there is one absolute fact to the story. Lamar Odom does not spend the night with Khloe and has not for a long time. Whether or not Kanye West is too busy with his assistant there is one absolute fact to the Kimye story. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian do not spend the night together. Whether or not Scott Disick cheats on Kourtney Kardashian every chance he gets there is one absolute fact in their relationship. They do not sleep together.

No man in one of these relationships feels safe closing their eyes around a Kardashian. You never know whether you will wake up again if you do. Or if you do wake up if you are tied to the ground inside a pentagram and being offered up for sacrifice. It just seems strange that every single one of the men has some reason or other for not spending the night in bed with their significant other.

48 comments:

caralw said...

Uhhh. Writers, please! That. Is. All.

Dishtlk said...

While I admit it is a little odd, its actually considered "tres chic" and European to do the separate bedrooms thing... that said I'm sure that's not why they don't sleep together.

Renoblondee said...

I love it when my hubs goes on short work trips and I get the bed to myself.

LottaColada said...

Sleeping arrangement stories make me sleepy.

Bacon Ranch said...

Just wondering, how much do they pay you to mention them daily?

laura ramona said...

Nope. it s not european. Im in London and we love "sharing"bedrooms as much as possible

Seven of Eleven said...

Whether or not the original Enty is still writing this blog there is one absolute fact to the story. They still can't spell. Whether or not Jessica Alba pays the site to appear in the Random Photos at least every other day there is one absolute fact to the story. Jessica Alba appears in the Random Photos at least every other day. Whether or not this Enty is a female blogger there is one absolute fact to the Jax story. This Enty is a female who probably likes Apple Jacks. Whether or not any of us cheats on Enty every chance we get with MichaelK there is one absolute fact in our relationship. We're all cheating on him in the comments like stage 5 Baldwin clingers.

ian mcgrinty said...

Scott does.

MISCH said...

Kanye better lay off the sweets….the man is fat

NomNom83 said...

Someone needs to take off the tinfoil hat...

texas rose said...

Seven - I doubt anyone pays to appear on this site. Not that anyone can cheat on a gossip site by going to another gossip site, but can you articulate how we cheat on him in the comments??

Harry Knuckles said...

There is a mind-blowing blind over at Blind Gossip that is very strongly suggesting that PMK is doing the dirty with a rapper. Most have probably seen it but for those that haven't, get ready to puke.

figgy said...

@7 of 11, hahaha. All true

Lola153 said...

PLEASE never mention that family name again, ignore their existence.

discoflux said...

Seven - You're playing to an audience intellect far higher than the one available here. The lack of ability to recognize sarcasm or satire makes it like a room full of Sheldon's but with GEDs instead of PhDs.

Gypsy said...

I understand that no one cares about this but what I wonder is, if it is true, why would these men stay in these manufactured relationships. Now, bear with me, I loathe everything K related, but who is worse? The trash that continue to get press (that we give them!) who are riding this fame bullshit for all it's worth, which even in my disdain for them, I have a hard time begrudging no matter how sickening it is, or the baby daddies who have sold their souls to be with talentless fame whores? None of those guys are victims. They could all walk away today. It's time to realize that everyone involved in this circus puts on their own clown face. Whether you like them or not, they have been brilliant in business. Complete moral failures, but they managed to sell their souls for lots of money! The American dream. I still hate them, but this whole 'the men are being played' meme is bullshit. They are all adults.

texas rose said...

Well Disco at least seven has you here. I'm shocked that someone of your intelligence can even stand to read these items and comments. Are you doing a study on gossip site readers and behavior or did your browser redirect you from your normal Mensa sites?

Anna Katherine Nonymous said...

Why stay in these relationships? Blackmail,money,fame.

Jennabean said...

I'm not a fan or a hater I the Ks I get tired of hearing about them. That said I fuckin love that pic. Best thing I've seen all day. @ Harry to make the visual even worse the rapper is most likely drake because of the light skinned hint. Blahh there goes breakfast again

FlirtyChick74 said...

I will never get tired of that picture.

hollywood dime said...

wait, what? So two couples who are divorcing dont share a bed, okay. And we know Kim and kanye aren't sleeping together, because?????

Murphy said...

Meh I think Scott and Kourtney do like once every 3 months or so. Unless Kourtney is in baby making mode then its 3 days a month.

Tru said...

One more story about the Kards and I am off this site forever.

HannahBanana said...

That pic is EVERYTHING. I'm not even gonna read the post...I'm just going to laugh for the 1000th time at that picture. The only one that was better wax Bey & Jay's Regular people look.

texas rose said...

Tru - sorry to see you go. I assume it wil be later today or certainly tomorrow:(

HannahBanana said...

Oh really? Only a small few posters actually interact with one another on this site, so exactly how would you know what the majority level of intelligence & comprehension is behind each individual???

caralw said...

I just want basic subject/verb agreement. I can overlook the run on sentences.

Gayeld said...

@texas rose. I'd snicker, but I'm afraid it might be interpreted as an ignorant grunt. So I'll just quietly clap over my bag of pork rinds.

snookiemonster said...

Why is Kanye 300 pounds in that pic? That cant be real

snookiemonster said...

Looks like couple applying for biggest loser.

parissucksliterally said...

snookimonster, there is a site called Planet Hiltron. They take pics of celebs, and photoshop them into normal people's pics.

There are hilarious pics. You should check it out.

snookiemonster said...

Thanks paris!

Harry Knuckles said...

Disco might have a point. I took an online IQ test about 10 years ago and scored a 93.

jadetoo said...

If this ridiculous post was an excuse to show that picture, I'm okay with it.

rosie riveter said...

hahahaha Seven of Eleven that's awesome!! I LOVE Michael K

Katie said...

London is not european

8=====D - KermitGosnellKnobJockey said...

London may not be European as said above, but it isn't customary to do the separate bedrooms thing in France, Spain, Italy or Denmark as locals have told me (I understand their languages way better than I write English, if you wondered).

That European thing hoax came since the time woody allen banged women who weren't his daughters but didn't want to suffer their neurosis (this is odd, considering he is wangy allen), and convinced illiterate naive Americans that sofisticaded Europeans did that. Breaking news: The emperor has no clothes.

califblondy said...

How you explain dem babies??

i said...

If the ladies are as hairy as they claim to be, I would think they don't want someone seeing them pre-shaved. Face, necks, backs, chests, legs, fingers, toes, and their hobbits.

Lola said...

The post title and picture made me laugh.

I don't give a fuck about the writing skills of enty (except when his posts are utterly incomprehensible); if I wanted sophisticated content and writing I wouldn't be clicking on CDaN to find it.

And whomever said they were leaving because of the Kardashian posts...I hope you don't want to read any other gossip site anytime soon. The Kardashians are (unfortunately) on every single one of them. Daily.

Alicia said...

Gayeld you made me spit out my coffee

warmislandsun said...

Seven's comment was humor, Pull the stick out and move on.

texas rose said...

I just wanted to know what he/she meant by cheating on him in the comments- don't get it.

texas rose said...

Oh and warmislandsun - fuck off!

auntliddy said...

They can't be around the k women at night, that us when the thin membrane berween this world and the dark world is thinnest, and they must pass thru to worship and thank their dark master and make sure he keeps giving them powers to stay in public eye.

__-__=__ said...

7 - so true! Love Michael-K but hate the new site. Hi-res pics don't download to my phone. Disquis crashes Safari constantly so no more comments.

Love this pic! Thanks Enty!!

Paula Beebe said...

Yes it is.

L said...

@Dishtlk - I am from Europeia and we share our bed with our significant other as much as possible.. also crisis hence smaller houses hence more sharing of the bedroom..
But really - I am from Italy and, besides one aunt and uncle with a terrible snoring problem [like neighbor complaining snoring problem], I do not know anyone who sleeps in separate rooms.
and I lived in Denmark for three years and it was the same there.
Enough Euro representation to call BS?