Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Your Turn
I thought this question sent in by a reader was a perfect for today considering the Mega Millions today. With Powerball and Mega Millions seemingly always in the hundreds of millions of dollar range, what is the one thing you would splurge on if you won. Not the investments or buying your parents a house or anything politically correct. I'm talking about that one f**k you I'm going to be a baller kind of gift you would get yourself.
I'd buy a Kardashian
ReplyDeleteA full-length silver fox fur coat.
ReplyDeleteProbably Kourtney, so I could get Douchelord Disick thrown in for free
ReplyDeleteA Tungsten Carbide bracelet.
ReplyDeleteThe most baller metal.
What is a baller?
ReplyDeletea really fancy high powered cutting horse.
ReplyDeleteA Richard Mille Watch
ReplyDeleteOr would I have to pay extra for Disick? If so, I'd just buy Douchelord Disick. He's totally for sale
ReplyDeleteSince I have two friends going through a hard time I couldn't buy myself anything like that until I helped them..
ReplyDeleteAnd then the estate next to George's in Lake Como…that would do it for me
@MISCH: you stole my answer! The Lake Como part. :-)
DeleteI would but obnoxious diamond jewelry like Liz Taylor. I'd buy some cute guys too. One in every race. Starting with Karras Jordan, Cristiano R, Matthew Terry, ....
A trip around the world, for as long as it took to see every place I wanted to, with first class accommodations all the way.
ReplyDelete@Tammy - I'm with you!
ReplyDeleteOh definitely with @Tammy too.
ReplyDeletea yacht. a really Big one.
ReplyDeleteAn Aston Martin and a place to keep it.
ReplyDeleteBuild a compound in Beverly Hills. Big house, but not stupid big, maybe 8000 sq ft or so, with 2 big connected swimming pools, one enclosed. Big fucking garage to hold about 100 vehicles. Seperate residence for the harem, about 20 or so girls between the ages of 18 cough and maybe 25.
ReplyDeletethere is a small group of cottages (like 4 or 6) in northern Scotland that are on a strip of beach land in-between the Atlantic and North seas. I want one of those.
ReplyDeleteA log home on a private lake in Northern Michigan, with an accompanying winter retreat down in the Keys. Fish for pike, walleye, and perch in the summer; mangrove snapper & yellow fin tuna in the winter.
ReplyDeleteI'd buy myself a smart filter that deletes all info/news about anyone who annoys me from being seen or heard on any of my electronic devices.
ReplyDeleteA Steinway grand. And nobody besides me, The Maestro, could touch it.
ReplyDeleteGood set up Enty, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI would purchase Paris Hilton and Hayden P for a week. Good combo of short & curvy and tall and lean. Since they are both alleged to be available for a price, this wouldn't be too hard to make happen.
I would rent out Kink.com's dungeon in San Francisco to host them in.
We would play all sorts of games. Like Throw in the Towel, where one girl is tied up and worked over with the other having a towel to throw in when she feels the chick has had enough.
One day would be Pet Day, where they are both caged and treated like dogs. Drinking and eating from a bowl, Relieving themselves on news paper, disciplined with a rolled up newspaper, etc.
I would have to tour the Kink facilities to come up with other daily events, based on the sets and apparatus available.
OH, one other thing Kink has that I would be into. They have a big shower room they used to hosed down the whores, to make sure they are clean enough to serve. I would have the 2 hose each other down, while I watched.
Also, part of the fun would be a stack of $100s for each of them as a tip, and every time I heard the words "NO" or "STOP" I would take some away.
A limo and a full time driver. I hate to drive.
ReplyDelete@Tammy, yes!
ReplyDeleteA couple of shares, if available, of Berkshire Hathaway, and a Tesla (the car). That's me, livin' on the edge.
Vacation everywhere I wanted to go and first class. Definitely agree with Tammy! I've flown 1st class once in my life and it was HEAVENLY!
ReplyDeleteBut I like the high class cutting horse answer too. Not because I ride, but because I live in Rodeo town (Pendleton) and it would make so many people jealous.
Bugatti Veyron. Jeremy drove one on Top Gear & I was hooked. I wonder what the insurance is on a million-dollar car? :-)
ReplyDeleteA D'Aquisto New Yorker guitar.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a2tMGVxM7Y
(No, that's not me! I wish!)
I'm with Tammy, I'd hire two teachers and take my daughter and her husband, three grandkids for a luxury trip around the world. Give my siblings and friends enough money to relax for the rest of their lives. Money for a few charities I volunteer for and one mean team of pit-bull lawyers to sue the government into raising rates for folks to afford decent food and homes
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to choose between a home in Nara, Japan or a home in Disney World.
ReplyDeleteCount,Hayden, sure, but Paris Hilton?
ReplyDeleteThe biggest Mercedes they make.
ReplyDeleteI would do a lot of the altruistic, "pay the mortgage and set up trust funds for my nieces/nephew" thing, but the first crazy thing I'd do is take a vacation in Italy, from north to south, and just eat my way through the country. I'd bring a couple of friends who appreciate good cuisine and we'd get suites at the best hotels and it would be amazing.
ReplyDeleteI'd also go to Ferregamo and get made-to-measure shoes, because I could.
Definitely real estate. I'm an architecture fanatic who can't afford the 7- and 8-digit homes that are in my heart. I live in LA, so I'd keep a mid century modern in Palm Springs, a Spanish Colonial in Montecito, a beach house, a city loft near Staples Center. I'd keep a prewar apt on the UES or maybe Gramercy Park in NYC (provided it came with the coveted key to the park). You get the picture.
ReplyDeleteHarry Knuckles - is this you?
ReplyDeletemenadensch, I don't know if you are being facetious, but no, it's not me. I am completely on board with the gentleman's methods and intentions though, if that helps.
Delete@Harry: Yeah. The Throw in the Towel game would be great. Hayden allegedly likes it rough, and Paris is completely soulless. I'd work Hayden over first, so she could get pissed a Paris for making her endure so much, guaranteeing that Hayden lets me exceed the bounds of human decency w/ Paris.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I'm not going to spend big bucks on a sloppy Lohan or Pam Anderson. Hough seems to only do the sugar daddy thing, no one off tricks. I was trying to think of a hot brunette to mix in, but I couldn't come up with a Hollywood brunette whore.
P.S. Holy crap! Is that Hayden topless pic legit? You have a link to the rest of the set?
Dang, I found the original on DrunkenStepfather. It is a fake :(
ReplyDeleteI am not big on material things so I would be the happiest person alive if I could just dedicate my days to playing music and working in movies without worrying about paying the rent. If I have to commit to an actual purchase, I would say better instruments and a personal chef to bring me my own whole food to the set instead of extra food.
ReplyDeleteFuck this shit, I'd buy Enty. Again. And not this faux people that were put in his place, like Jax.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Hayden tip Count. Adios fake.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Harry: I do love that Hayden is constantly digging in her butt. In that photoshopped pic, she is reaching back there with the hand you can't see. I try to think she enjoys touching it, not that she has pin worms.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHere is the link Harry. They do a zoom in of the camel toe.
Bob Hope's Estate: http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/10346-Moorpark-St_Toluca-Lake_CA_91602_M21180-98425?row=1
ReplyDeleteRight, Count, wouldn't want Hayden
ReplyDeleteto have Pin Worms.
I'd buy a hit on ALL the Kartrashians...naw, wait...I would not waste single penny on that trash. I WOULD spend serious cash on a boob lift and tummy tuck, vacation first class around the world, then buy myself an island in the Carribean, name myself queen and live there by myself..flying various men in for sex at my leisure--I would SO Great Garbo my shit for a while--
ReplyDelete@Harry: I love that pic. It is in my archives. I would lick that bikini bottom until I wore a hole in it.
ReplyDeleteCount, there's gotta be a million Hayden bikini shots out there. I'm thinking at some point we're gonna get some legitimate nudes, maybe candid, maybe even posed. It's now just a waiting game.
ReplyDelete@vip, the question is what you would do with them...
ReplyDeletei'd buy a house on the ocean, and nice penthouse apartments in a few cities, including NY, LA, Paris, Rome and Florence.
ReplyDeleteVIP - Make sure you put enough $ aside to pay for the RX's you will need to treat the STD's!
ReplyDeleteOnce when I was in jr. high I was so mean to this kid that he cried. I feel so guilty 30 years later that I always said if I won a big one, I'd write him a hefty check.
ReplyDeleteAn apartment in NY was all I wanted until I read the personal chef idea, now I want that too!
ReplyDeleteFirst, a huge party with A list chef and maybe Beyonce as the entertainment, just because I can. Then my Manhattan apartment, travel, and warm weather digs for the winter months.
ReplyDelete@NYer and @Wen Ha! I wouldn't have sex with him. But nothing says "Fuck you" quite like Douchelord Disick :) We'd ride around in our Bentleys, Instagram our Rolex collections, and replace all of the toilet paper with hundreds. You know, be altruistic ;)
ReplyDeleteRing of Honor or TNA, make them a real competitor to WWE. Hire Count to replace an announcer, and actually base the cards on who is most over with the fans, you know, do the opposite of what Vince, Stephanie and Triple H do.
ReplyDelete@ RowdyRodimus Shout-out to the wrestling fan!!
DeleteI'd buy a big house with at least five to ten acres within an hours drive of the Florida Gulf coast. My husband could golf, or go pier fishing, and I could walk the beach looking for shells, and have lovely soft feet. Back at home I'd take in the older dogs that people abandon,
ReplyDeletewith the appropriate vets and dog handlers to assure their comfort.
I would buy a new identity and disappear to do whatever the hell I want with all my money and not have to worry about leeches calling me or tracking me down.
ReplyDeletePlastic surgery, nothing major, just some minor detailing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rowdy. I would go with ROH over TNA. I just think the TNA brand is bad, and ROH gives a better base to build upon.
ReplyDeleteCan I book the Ring Rat division, too?
A giant emerald ring and a loaded up Audi sportscar
ReplyDeleteA private island.
ReplyDeleteA 1960 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz, a Ferrari 250 GT Lusso (the Steve McQueen Ferrari), Carroll Shelby's "Super Snake" 427 Cobra, a 50-foot sloop-rigged cutter and an endowed chair at Oxford so that I could peruse freely at the Bodleian Library. Naturally, Charlize Theron would be so attracted by my wit and manly shoulders that shack up with me.
ReplyDeleteI'm a man of modest tastes....
I'd buy CM Punk and Colin Farell for my personal manservants. And Ian Somerhalder to be theirs.
ReplyDeleteI'd go on a trip around the world. Probably until the money ran out.
ReplyDeleteI'd buy a Bentley and tons of Loubies and fly the crew to Vegas to play high limit slots.
ReplyDeletea yacht
ReplyDeleteWith a gazillion dollars you'd fly to Vegas to play slots? Do you live in a trailer home? With that kind of money you play baccarat and drink single-malts distilled when Carter was president.
ReplyDeleteTRAVEL, no question. And a brunch chef.
ReplyDeleteLuxurious spa day makeover and complete wardrobe perfectly tailored.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI honestly would rather share most of it with my family, friends and charity, and keep enough for myself to live on comfortably. But if we're talking hundreds of millions, then a private jet would really be a practical purchase since I love to travel!
ReplyDeleteprobably house for my mom and dad . Maybe some traveling.
ReplyDeleteA white Range Rover
ReplyDeleteRed, hard-top convertible, 1964 Corvette.
ReplyDeleteSome big fat shares on NetJets, so my family and I could fly on a private jet everywhere we wanted to go.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would hire a tutor for my kids so they could get their education no matter where we were. Screw the Common Core Curriculum!!
ReplyDeleteA house - not a flat but an actual house/brownstone in central London, one that comes with private access to a park on a square. Then I would book the top class accommodation on a cruise to Antarctica and I would never fly coach again.
ReplyDeleteAfter starting a dog rescue, getting my house and 66 Corvette Stingray, I would hire my own personal masseur - that, to me, is pure luxury.
ReplyDeleteA house with an awesome spa bathroom. No gaudy gold water faucets, but top of the line accessible fixtures (including one of those Japanese toilets).
ReplyDeleteFully staffed SUPER YACHT!
ReplyDeleteMy splurge?
ReplyDeleteHonestly? It's a tossup, whether to quietly pay off my grandbaby's baby daddy to simply go the f*ck away forever or a 3 bedroom "apartment" on the MS The World.
www.aboardtheworld.com
*sigh*
I can only hope that I get to wrestle with that choice soon.