Friday, December 27, 2013

Blind Item #12

This former A list singer/celebrity who is now just an A list celebrity who does other things well too was having drinks with her boyfriend at a bar this week and when she thought he was starting to get too drunk said, "I had an enema today for you so you better not get drunk and pass out."

35 comments:

sandybrook said...

Jessica

sandybrook said...

The Enties lost count again today after 10.

Derek Harvey said...

definitely Jessica lol---I hear her voice in my head saying that too with a dopey smirk on her face and a little whine in her voice

sandybrook said...

She would be the last person I would ever think was a dirty girl. So sweet and innocent looking when she was young.

Bacon Ranch said...

Not Jess, she's the one who gets pregnant when he looks at her.
Whomever it is, EW..who needs to overhear that?

ClaptonsLayla said...

TMI

Matt & Jess said...

Didn't one of the guys she cheated with while married to Nick, say that she loved anal sex?

CanadianMiss said...

I think @Count might just have a heart attack at his computer now!

mazshad said...

Def Jessica - she has a potty mouth!

crazycatladyx6 said...

Was Jessica really an Alist singer though? When? D-list singer with A list recognition. Start over. Hmm xtina? I can't think of anything

sandybrook said...

@Matt that has been said about Jess.

VeeBee said...

Didn't John Mayer call her sexual kryptonite? As in some of the best he's ever had?

Caraface said...

I thought of Jessica Simpson immediately. I thought she had a reputation for wanting it in the pooper?

TalksTooMuch said...

Bwahaha! ! What's that aboot the best laid plans?

OneEyeCharlie said...

If I had a dime for everytime I've said that...

Rosso said...

I thought Xtina tbh but I'm terrible at these things, Jessica probably works better. I always forget she did any singing tbh.

kerri said...

Well that's considerate

Brenda L said...

Ted Casablanca said that she was able to claim "virgin" for so long because she was into the anal. Whatever floats yo boat, I say.

Freya said...

Hahahaha

Basil said...

At least she is smart about it. Anal isn't something you do at the last minute. Some prep is involved.

Count Jerkula said...

Fasting and enema is only really needed if you are going ATM. Bath is fine for analingus. other than that, if yer afraid of gettin some mud on the helmet, yer not man enough to be back there.

Certainly hot that she is teasing him with her clean and willing hershey highway though. That is marriage material.

Count Jerkula said...

OH, and for any curious ladies, Sasha Grey says to dump out the enema solution and use distilled water. She say the solution dries you out, which could lead to abrasions, and tap water could contain bacteria.

Cee Kay said...

LOL @Count

Cee Kay said...

Did not need that last part, Count. L

Melly Bell said...

@CountJerkula
What would you say is a good ass to lube ratio for beginners?

Count Jerkula said...

@Melly Bell: My recommendation for beginners is to use plenty of lube, then lessen the amount on subsequent backdoor visits, until you find the right balance of friction for him/comfort for her.

Now that doesn't mean 1/2 a bottle of the stuff, butt get everything nice and coated. Yer gonna prep the pucker with a finger first, so dollop on the butthole, coat the finger, and then slow entry.

And it isn't like the lube you use at first is the only lube you get to use. You will need to reapply, so don't go crazy with the stuff right off the bat.

If you find it enjoyable and venture to try again, they sell a small syringe like thing you can suck up the lube with and slide it in the starfish to make sure there is lube in there.

Too much lube will make the dude feel next to nothing, but first try the goal is to make it good enough for her that she lets you back in.

And remember to use water based lube. sometimes instead of re applying, you can just use some spit on it to make it change back from tacky to slick. And be careful what you get it on. When you wash it off the water will reactivate it, so you don't want it on feet or floor.

Buttsecks is a good exercise for a couple, because communication and cooperation are key to having a fulfilling experience. It is an alternative form of intimacy that can bring 2 people closer together and strengthen your relationship.

amanda_jf said...

Was it not napalm? I think kryptonite would mean the opposite.

anon said...

Haha Amanda! Yes, John Mayer said Jessica Simpson was sexual napalm

Massive G said...

Bam Margera popped Jessica's ass cherry and she dug it. She is a bsck door beauty.

Carol said...

Jessica and her father have a lot in common. They can compare notes about their rear view entrances.

Fred66 said...

Yes, they say she used to only have anal sex so she could preserve her vaginal virginity for her wedding night. Preacher's daughter after all.

di butler said...

Anal is a good way to end up with a prolapsed asshole and shit down your pants in your 40s. I know some of those older anal lovers who have to wear adult diapers now 24/7. Dudes who love it, they aren't worried about the shape of no one else's ass. Whatev. It's not that great, anyway.

Jewels Harper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jewels Harper said...

The preacher's daughter would be familiar with the loophole. Pun intended of course.

Oh! And I had no idea @TTM was a fellow Canuck ;)

TalksTooMuch said...

Hey Jewels! Secret Canucklehead handshake! Which part are you from?