Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Blind Item #9

This former A list rock star was talking a lot of talk but failed to deliver so to speak when two groupies wanted to have sex with him the other night. They sneaked into a recording studio and our singer acted like he was going to take the two women right there but when it came time to actually do it he just couldn't manage. He says it was because there were too many people around. Well, he used to have cameras around during his reality show.

48 comments:

Lady Heisenberg said...

Bret Michaels

trainrides said...

Steven Tyler

Candyland said...

Gene Simmons?

Lady Heisenberg said...

BTW I was at a bar on sunset yesterday and there was a girl standing next to me that I swore I recognized. Not only did I remember her from the Petri dish fabulosity of Rock Of Love! But I actually remembered her fucking name: DALLAS. Ugh I'm so embarrassed I even know this shit

Nemesis said...

Rock of love!

Seven of Eleven said...

LOL @ LadyH! Did you talk to her?

I've heard of guys who can't urinate when someone's looking, so maybe it's something like that. Or fluffer situations (thanks, @Count, you've increased my knowledge in many ways that I'm not terribly sure I should be grateful for).

Frosty said...

Oh I like the Bret Michaels guess! But I'll toss in Vince Neil too. 80s!

sandybrook said...

Lady you should move your resident bar over to Hollywood Blvd where higher respected people go to be seen. (Unless your bar was part of a strip club)

Sugar said...

Don't be embarrassed, Lady H! That show fucking ruled!
Remember when Lacey threw an apple at her ear?

931971 said...

Ozzie

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Bret and his diabetes-induced neuropathy and impotence.

Kimba said...

Headband Boy - Bret Michaels! Miss Rock of Love, too low-brow for Canadian TV so we only got to see the first few series, probably a good thing, but I miss seeing the women go from semi sober to full on skank and him trying to be so sauve.

Lady Heisenberg said...

No. She was there by herself and just looked pissed as usual. It was very strange.

In honor of these joyous & crazy coincidences, here is my first juicy story.
I know a model from one of those alt-punk porn websites who slept with Bret during the middle of Rock of Love run. They met at some event & she went home to what she described as the most horrific sexual experience she ever had, and that's saying a lot. Mind you, this girl is actually really, really gorgeous, it had nothing to do with her. She said Bret did nothing but scrutinize his every move in these huge mirrors. She said it was literally like she was not even physically present. All we wanted to know was if the bandana ever came off: the answer is FUCK NO.
This story still gives me the heebie jeebies.

Clearly, not a lay worth the tons of mileage he's sure to add on to your goods, ladies!

Lady Heisenberg said...

I'm sure his recent health problems and diabetes is also causing more sexual issues on top of the general egomaniacal douchiness I described above. Especially if he is still drinking. No wonder he needed so many rounds of that show...

Lady Heisenberg said...

Not a resident bar; event at the Whisky

Lady Heisenberg said...

Dallas was definitely trolling for glam metal leftovers or she was already there with precisely that; he could've been working the gig. Either way, that girl was definitely working something

Lady Heisenberg said...

Oh yeah. She was talking about loving furs right? LOL. That show was gangster

Lady Heisenberg said...

But thanks for the concern Sandybrook! ;)

Sugar said...

Oh wait, I meant to say Dallas threw the apple at Lacey. She is the Lordess of the Gansters! Shut that bitch up!
I would be petrified if I got caught in a dark alley with any one of those ah hem, ladies. Hood rats, all of them! Entertaining hood rats though. Can't we bring that show back? Wanna start a Kickstarter campaign with me?

Jessi said...

I frickin Loved Rock of Love!

AsileM said...

The Bret Michael's band played a bingo parlor in the middle of Wisconsin awhile back. They were giving away tickets so me and a bunch of girlfriends went. It was everything I hoped it would be. Gutter trash trying rehash their burnt out memories of pop-glam rock from the 80's. There where a lot of black Levi's (a personal favorite of mine) with white sneakers combos, lots of worn out tank tops and the stench of desperation dripping from every old whores' tired body. It, to say the least, was an epic night. The concert was actually pretty good though.

wade-o-potatoface said...

"Sneaked?"

Lady Heisenberg said...

Hell yeah. I think we'd have to phase out Bret though. He's getting old & decrepit, it would be far too sad to watch. So we need a womanizing prick we can still somewhat tolerate.
Seeking: Rock stars who treat their groupies as badly as Bieber, but is not Bieber. Who are the biggest pigs out there these days that audiences will tolerate?
Tommy Lee is an option since Nikki is getting married. Again.
Adam Levine if he weren't so image conscious & banged strippers instead of models
Evan Seinfeld from Biohazard would be amazing too

Who would you like to see get a Rock of Love-ish spinoff?

Michael H said...

Flavor of Love>Rock of Love.

Also, at least Flave was in a great group.

tracyh said...
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Lady Heisenberg said...

And someone managed to take a dump on the stairwell....

just joe said...

AsileM, did he do "every rose has its thorn?"

Count Jerkula said...

@Lady H: SuicideGirls, GodsGirls or BurningAngel. I would figure one of the first 2 since BA is based in NYC.

Lady Heisenberg said...

She was with BA but I think she actually hooked up with Bret in LA. Not sure though, I heard this story years ago. Why am I not surprised you would seek clarification, connoisseur Count?! ;)

headrot said...

How did she like working with BA? Working with SG sometimes leaves a lot to be desired from the experience.

Lady Heisenberg said...

I'm honestly not sure, my understanding is that she enjoyed it for the short time that she was involved, but she outgrew it. I've met people who have worked for both; generally BA has a better rep but that could just be a sampling bias because I come across more SGs since I live on the west coast.
I actually had a long chat with Missy Suicide once at her old go-to coffee spot off Franklin. Interesting woman but I can't say I'm much of a fan. SG has done a lot of their models dirty. Missy is just much more obnoxious & pretentious than Joanna in my opinion because she has seriously deluded herself into thinking that her company somehow empowers her models & women in general while she's really no better.
I'm never one to tell people what they can or can't say or do with their body. But I would highly recommend that you do all of your research before you sign on with either @headrot

Lady Heisenberg said...

Oh, and just for the sheer irony, Missy's coffee shop of choice back in the day was Bourgeois Pig. Go figure!

Count Jerkula said...

I've never dealt with Joanna Angel professionally, but I have seen her at expos. She was always willing to gather up her girls so I could get a group pic for my friend's website, and she was always very polite and personable.

She spent time in LA performing in scenes for other companies, and I've never read any of the whores or mopes she worked with say anything bad about her.

She was in one of my fave porn scenes. Search Lemon Whore or Lemon Thief on a tube site. Her and James Deen (before I got sick of seeing him) with Haley Page (RIP) watching them. 4'11, 95lb broad, w/ natural Ds and LOVES it in the butt. Whats not to like? Plus she is from Brooklyn. All that adds up to her being my second favorite Rutgers Alum Pornographer. Duke Skywalker is #1.

HeadRot, if you want to know what it is like to work w/ BA, then hunt down some current and former models on Twitter.

Lady Heisenberg said...

Yeah. I've heard nothing but nice things about Joanna, which cannot be said at all for Missy. Joanna is also just a lot more personable. She owns the fact that she's a pornographer & doesn't try to sugarcoat it with some backwards ass allegedly feminist agenda.

sctses said...

Richie sambora?

Claudea said...

Great story @Lady H!

Stepforded said...
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Stepforded said...

This is so obviously Bret Michaels, BUT just for fun (and to throw it out there) - how about one of the males from that short-lived E! reality series?:

My guess is Duff

Secondbecky said...

Lady, I'm a medium term reader and occasional commenter, wanted to say glad you've started posting- you're becoming one of my faves to read. Tx for the story.
I have some similar Stories about Janie Lane (rip) and the boys from Warrant. They played a frat party in college....

Lady Heisenberg said...
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Lady Heisenberg said...

@Claudea. I'm so sorry, autocorrect interference

Lady Heisenberg said...

Fresh alternative choices & devil's advocates welcome!

Lady Heisenberg said...
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Lady Heisenberg said...

Thanks @Claudea. And THANK YOU second Becky, I'm so flattered, that is too sweet! Oh lawd I can't wait for you to share those hairmetal meets frat stories. Sharing is caring, y'all!!! You rock!

ms snarky said...

The next show should be Flava of Rock Love. Flava and Bret together checking the girls, special guest appearance by New York.

di butler said...

I have a few low level friends out there, Lady, and hear some bits of gossip, but it's great you are there and have eyes on the situation. Glad you're here! I also really enjoy Hollywood Dime's insider bits, and, of course, our resident blonde. ��

di butler said...

Think y'all meant- "Crack Rock Of Love." Bret can get it up, ever? Huh, that surprises me.

headrot said...

@lady H and @count i did work for SG, thats why i asked about BA, was looking for a new company.