Sunday, February 16, 2014

Blind Items Revealed

November 19, 2013

In a scene straight of Seinfeld this former B list boy bander and A list reality star who now is a C list reality star and married was getting changed at a photo shoot and didn't notice the two people off to the side who had a great angle and could not stop laughing at how small his equipment is. I guess we know why his A list celebrity/singer/reality star ex was always making peen jokes about him. The stylists who saw him said it was worse than Ken Jeong in The Hangover.

Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson

63 comments:

Lady Heisenberg said...

So he's not a shower OR a grower? Oooompphhh

texas rose said...

I guess he's a grower.

Derek Harvey said...

can he not get a surgery for that if his ding dong is THAT small?

Meanie Rhysie, Enty #27 said...

Can you imagine the outrage if this was a blind about a woman with a cavernous...um...nether region?

This is not cool, IMO.

Lady Heisenberg said...

I do feel bad penis shaming this loser on a Sunday morning. I think I'm out for the day

Derek Harvey said...

Remember that song by Gillette ---Dont want no short d**k man lol

sandybrook said...

Poor bastard :(

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

It is unfair to judge a non-erect penis. Put away your sexist measuring devices, Enty.

#teamlucas

Kloie said...

Old news. There are photos online, I believe of his honeymoon with Vanessa.

Derek Harvey said...

@Kristin--why is Lucas small?! lol

CocoaBeachBunny said...

Oh look, puppies!

it took forever said...

no wonder he was so happy to marry a 'virgin'

Howard Schultz-Shameless Profiteer (S.S.!) said...

The two stylists are cornballs....but hey atleast Nicky gets to sleep with Vanessa so she must be ok with it. A size and shape for all.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

No no! I was trying to be a decent human like Lucas.

Obviously need to practice.

Derek Harvey said...

k---I know just joking

VIPblonde said...

Nailed it

Derek Harvey said...

VIP likes em BIG.

Seven of Eleven said...

Kelly & Brenda got this, and Count wrote a novel about penis size in the original BI. You should read it!

TalksTooMuch said...

Agreed must be a grower

Also team Lucas, completely unrelated to the blind. I can't hashtag, though, because I am an old and that looks like a pound sign

Count Jerkula said...

Dick shaming is deplorable. Besides, he has millions in the bank and only taps fine trim. I'd give an inch off my dick in exchange for that.

@Derek: I have seen 2 surgeries, both w/ down sides. First one, they cut the suspension tendons that hold the dick up. This gives and extra inch or 2, but leaves you susceptible to injuries.

Second one I seen in a Russian amateur pic, and it was a mess. It resembled an over stuffed kelbasa, that looked like it was going to burst, and the head was put on wrong. Since there were scars, it had to be a surgery. If I can find the pic, I'll post it.

VIPblonde said...

@Derek You know it! :)

Seven of Eleven said...

Oh dear, Count - will you please make sure to let us know that is what you're posting when you do? I have no wish to be traumatized this early in the day without at least another six or seven mimosas!

Derek Harvey said...

@VIP lol---go big or go home!
@Count---yuck I will take your word for it. Have you tried I think its called Jelqing?!

Seven of Eleven said...

LOL @ Lady, stick around!

sandybrook said...

Oh shit I slept all the way to Friday last Saturday night (I swore it was just yesterday). :(

CocoaBeachBunny said...

No, that's okay, @Count. We got the visual.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Ahh yes. Kelly & Brenda... When the public dick swinging was fun.

@sandyboo What the what? Are you bragging or asking for help?

sandybrook said...

Nope

Sean said...

Perhaps it was cold. I just got done shoveling snow. I am sure that my gentlemen's sausage(thanks Top Gear)has attempted to retreat.

Count Jerkula said...

@Derek: No, I'm happy with my dick size. Besides, I seen some black guys in porn who went with the penis pump stretching. Seems to leave it floppy.

hollywood dime said...

I bet his mouth is awesome.

timebob said...

he took 1/2 of Jessica and Papa Joe's money, his tiny peen laughed all the way to the bank

S said...

'Roids can be hell.

olliebolliesnollie said...

Poor Vanessa :(

Basil said...

Whoever wrote this blind obviously isn't male. I do not know any man who has the same sized penis all the time threw out the day. It changes all the time!

Ella Bee said...

No penis shaming here- just wanted to say, I watched that documentary "Unhung Hero", and it was freaking riveting. Gave me a different outlook on the insecurities and struggles men face in relation to the size of their junk.

jane3113 said...

Probably has an easier time talking gals into anal so good on him.

Count Jerkula said...

HA! The affliction does have its perks, Jane ;)

Fleuhr Flower said...

Dick shaming bad, boob size shaming good. Got it.

Cleodacat said...

I had an unfortunate encounter with a guy who on showed/growed the length of my thumb (I have small hands). What in the world to you do with that? A miserable evening was what I got.

Count Jerkula said...

@Fleuhr: Lil boobs are cute and lots of times are followed around by a sweet ass. Aint no shame in that.

Rosso said...

Maybe I'm humourless but I don't see the point in making fun of a guy for his equipement size. It's not like he chose what he got or can do much to change it. Besides which size isn't always everything, this is such a thing as too big!

rosie riveter said...

Dick shaming- bad
Whore shaming- good
That's how we do it around here, correct?
Maybe the CDANers can post up a list of acceptable shaming?
Maybe I missed that day? I am a pretty busy lady..

Kelly Whaley said...

Smirk*

childeroland said...

+1000 what Meanie Rhysie, rosie riveter, Rosso, etc. said. Why is this OK, exactly?

rosie riveter said...

Radio silence?

rosie riveter said...

hey, ray. texas rose, ttm, count, lucas, anyone...? can any of you staunch count supporters let me know what we can and cannot shame? Im dying for a list. All a sudden this has taken an interesting twist...
penis shaming is deplorable? Bwahahahahaha
but go ahead and call someones wife/daughter/mother a whore?
OH_KAY

Sherry said...

Ain't the size of your pencil but how you sign your name. And that really is true. More to sex than penetration and the most important equipment is your brain.

Lucas said...

@Derek and @Kristin - I am perfectly content with the size of my equipment. And haven't had any complaints about it either.

Lucas said...

I'll tell you what - as bad as you say people are around here no one has tossed out any homophobic slurs at you. Because while you may disagree with their choice of words (and Count did a good job of explaining how he applies the term correctly - IIRC he usually refers to women as 'broads'), they have done a fairly good job of being above-board and only hurling insults at you that are on the level of what you have dished out.

So here's a comprehensive list of what it is okay to shame people about:



(see what I did there? Let's just be respectful to one another, especially here in the comments. Celebs know what they are getting into when they choose to become famous, so they are fair game within reason. But commenters don't deserve to be attacked for trying to participate. So let's just hug it out and call it a truce, shall we? You and Count can toss out the odd bon mot at each other but let's leave erryone else out of it. We cool?)

Meanie Rhysie, Enty #27 said...

#teamLucas

Renoblondee said...

Too big can suck too.

Kimba said...

Oh gosh, this thread just had to get spilled over into, thanks @rosie - gosh you have a lot of time on your hands!

figgy said...

Okay, flaccid penis size has NOTHING to do with erect size. Mr. Figgy looks like a mushroom when soft, but grows (thank goodness) to an impressive and satisfying size. Quite the transformation.

JSierra said...

I do not condone body shaming, but sometimes, with some guys, there really is absolutely nothing you can do with what you were given. I once slept with a guy who I'm pretty sure couldn't penetrate a lipstick tube, let alone a vagina. With a boner, not flaccid mind you. It was a sad day, I really liked the guy and it was a long time coming (hehe I wish) but things after that were so awkward and once I got the past the idea of sexytimes I realized what an asshole he really was. I feel the same way about small penises as I do about large, there is a perfect fit for everyone.

That being said, I just spent a shameful amount of time reading this article about men in Hollywood with small members,

MadLyb said...

That's mean! Poor guy. People who ridicule others for things they have no control over are assholes who never advanced beyond Junior High School.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

@Lucas *headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
Sorry, you know what I meant.

Goddamn Derek starting shit.

Stepforded said...

Yeezus! That was the size of a road cone!!!

Stepforded said...

@TTM - you hashtag all you like sweetie ... my 17-year-old niece told me I'm too old to use "totes" - said that it was "totes embarrassing" hearing me say it. Just for that, I'm going to do it constantly! Hee hee ...

Stepforded said...

You have to watch out for stylists and make-up artists ... get them to sign an NDA pronto as they all talk!

From what I've seen of him, I think he's a sweetheart - gorgeous eyes, nice personality, good sense of humour, cool family ... the things that really matter when looks fade and you move into that stage of life when just a cuddle will do.

Sprink said...

I had forgotten that one. You wouldn't think you'd forget a song like that.

Karen said...

Nick Lachey and Enrique Iglesias can start their own Small Penis Club now!

di butler said...

Yup. Heard this before. He's still a pretty good looking guy, and maybe is a grower. Whatevs.