Wednesday, February 05, 2014

George Zimmerman Fighting DMX

I'm not sure who would schedule anything that involves DMX. The odds of DMX being a no show for anything are high and when you set something out in advance it is tough with DMX because he gets arrested frequently and has a ton of court dates to juggle. Apparently though he was the number one candidate out of 15,000 applicants to fight George Zimmerman. To put it bluntly he was the biggest name who would fight the cheapest. DMX is tough but I wanted someone in the ring against Zimmerman who you know would pummel the guy. You want to chance this with a 43 year old who is neck and neck with Jenelle Evans for most celebrity arrests in a multi-year period? Zimmerman is 30 and has been training for months and DMX only has time to worry about where he is going to make a buck or which probation department he has to see that day. I can't believe there was no other person more likely to kick Zimmerman's butt than DMX.

Now if you give me DMX from a decade ago? I'm all over that. Maybe he has the fight in him. It sure would be nice.

51 comments:

Ray Nicolet said...

X GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM!!

FSP said...

I think this is going to go the same way as the Chyna/Joey Buttafuoco fight. Everyone wanting Chyna to whip his ass, but JB ended up manhandling her.

TalksTooMuch said...

Oh come on!! DMX is like 4 feet tall! I mean, he's angry, he has that going for him

Y'all gonna make me lose my mind. Up in here. Up in here.

sandybrook said...

I don't think Damon Feldman wants celebrity death on his hands and thats why DMX was chosen. Its still chancy though but less than fifty cent. Zimmerman wanted to fight Kanye West.

JSierra said...

I had a dram that George died last night, it was great.

Kim Kardashian said...

I remember when Bruce made us do celebrity boxing. I hated it!

TalksTooMuch said...

Wait, that actually happened? Chyna and Joey Buttafuoco??

Bacon Ranch said...

Because of course if you are 43 you are washed up, especially when it comes to fighting a self appointed neighborhood watch idiot.

bbhood said...

Nooooo! I was so hoping that Game was gonna be the one... that woulda been a shoe in.

I swear to GOD, if DMX loses, he must resign from the black race.

Ray Nicolet said...

DMX is actually 5'11

sandybrook said...

@JSierra that revelation that you dreamed about him scares me a bit :(

TalksTooMuch said...

Ooh, my bad, Ray. Maybe it's all the angry hunching.

Eros said...

That's the angriest black man in the universe. He is going to annihilate Zimmerman 's porky pig looking ass.

TalksTooMuch said...

Please, someone, for the love of god, tell me you've seen the comic book freakout scene in Chasing Amy? Someone needs to start shouting " Black rage!" But it probably shouldn't be me

surfer said...

I guess as long as DMX stays out of Arizona, there's a 50-50 chance he'll show.

Paris Hilton said...

I want to celebrity box you!

Bacon Ranch said...

Apparently not @eros, remember, he's 43.
That means wimpass 30 yr old Zimmerman has the upper hand.
At least that's how I read this summation.

JSierra said...

Sandy it's not as bad as it sounds, it was a front page n newspaper article in the dream. Otherwise it weeks have been a nightmare with a happy ending.

Ray Nicolet said...

No, he does seem to be shorter, that's why I googled it. I was shocked that he was so tall.

Kim Kardashian said...

Bring it!

sandybrook said...

happy endings are always good things :)

Paris Hilton said...

I'm gonna pop those ass implants and show America the fraud that you are!

Eros said...

@ bacon I beg to differ on that one. age dont mean shit in that dynamic. Dmx been scrapping for years I bet. Plus hes in tip top shape. I doubt zimmerman can climb 10 flights of stairs without passing out.dmx will mop the floor with zimmerman's butterball ass.

fontlover said...

Bitch tried to go after me first, ran like the crybaby he is. #RUNBABYRUN #MURDERER #RACIST

PowerhouseMe said...

Can't help but have a soft spot for DMX; I will be rooting for him to beat the ever-living shit out of Zimmerman. Now I can't get his music out of my head.

I too wish the Game would've been game for that throw down, shame, shame. See how I did that? I'll let myself out.

auntliddy said...

So. Very. F*cking. Stupid. What if zim beats dmx? What would that mean? Oh that's right- nothing!!!!!!!!!!!

aemish said...

LOL @bbhood

Freya said...

Zimmerman is not a celebrity!!

The Knockout Drop said...

So great when people can make a buck off of America's racial tensions.

Next up: Trayvon, the Musical.

Harry Knuckles said...

Funny that Kanye hasn't said a word about Zimmerman's challenge. He's always yapping otherwise and of course is a badass mofo, yet not a peep about this ... bwaaaack bak bak bwaaaack bak bak ...

Hope DMX knows what he's doing. I want him to beat on Zimmerman but I can't help but think it's going to turn out the other way around. Zimmerman has a lot of weight and strength that is goung to be very difficult for DMX to deal with. Anybody remember George Chuvalo?

hippy chk said...

They're going to search Zimmerman for weapons first, right? We all know his act around unarmed black men.

And there's a good chance DMX doesn't know who Zimmerman is. Have you ever seen that video of DMX being shown how to google himself...like a year ago?

TalksTooMuch said...

George Chuvalo was freaking fantastic. Canada represent. Gave Ali a run for his money

Sugar said...

Please tell me when and where i can watch this glorious ass beating!!

libby said...

I thought Z was so unable to fight he was 'justifiably' mortally a'feared of a skinny teenager?

I hope his face looks like hamburger after, and his check gets stolen in the ambulance.

GPS74 said...

@TalksTooMuch, great scene, great movie. Might have to pull that up on this snowy day.

@Freya, everyone is a celebrity now, even if it is for nothing better than shooting someone.

And I do have to admit that the celebrity boxing episode of KuwtK was bloody hysterical. Wasn't Kimmy screaming, "DON'T HIT MY FACE!" at one point?

Michael H said...

@ttm--you're thinking of his dick.

Nutty_Flavor said...

I actually think 'Trayvon, The Musical' is a good idea.

But maybe an opera instead. They've had operas about Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana - why not Trayvon?

It's exactly what operas are made of, societal themes and human dramas.

Zimmerman would be the bass, the troubled villain, maybe played by Samuel Ramey. Trayvon would be the young tenor - maybe Noah Stewart? He's 32, might be too old for the role.

All that's missing is a love interest. Shelley Zimmermann?

teresa crane said...

I hope there will be a GIF of DMX punching Zimmerman right in the face.

Stephy said...

You know, if we don't stop talking about him, he's never going to leave.

ms snarky said...

@libby - good point. If he's willing to fight an adult, Zimmerman should be re-tried for the Trayvon murder.

TalksTooMuch said...

No, Michael, I can for sure say I was not

TalksTooMuch said...

Yay, GPS74! I knew someone had to have seen it! Every time someone would go on and on aboot Kanye losing his temper, I would totally be screaming that in my melon

GPS74 said...

@TalksTooMuch, it's on YouTube! I forgot how funny Ben's white Afro was :)

Jennifer H. said...

Are they at least going to let poor George have a gun? After all, he couldn't even fight off a teenager!

LottaColada said...

@Ray, that was perfect. *slow clap*

KhloeK said...

Keeks, that was one of the best nights of my life!

#Kimgotpunched #teehee

Kim Kardashian said...

Not funny Kokes!!
I swear, I still have PTSD!

fontlover said...

2014 YEAR OF POSITIVE PRESS RELEASES #PAYATTENTION

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Here we go,

Dani T said...

I wish they chose Game instead, he looks like he could beat the crap out of someone

Blake said...

DMX is a little fella. Back in the early 2000's when he was in LA he'd go to Jerry's Deli in BH after the clubs would shut down. I'm 6'3 and he was standing next to me with no security. Little fella. I was looking at his diamond Ruff Ryder chain and thinking, "I could probably crack him upside the head and take that chain if I felt like it". I glanced over at him a couple of times, to size him up, and he looked like he was getting nervous and just left. I followed him out about 45 seconds later and dude was already in his '64 taking off. WHAT A PUSSY.