Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Jessica Biel Will Be A Presenter At The Academy Awards

It is probably right up there with Miley Cyrus presenting at the Academy Awards which she did in 2010. I bet you forgot about that didn't you? Lucky for everyone involved it was pre-twerking. Even though she is much more famous now than she was in 2010 I don't think the Academy would have her back now because they would be scared she would do something to upset the stuffy decorum of the telecast. The complete list of presenters was released yesterday and I don't have a problem with anyone except Jessica Biel. I'm not sure why they chose to include her unless they are hoping that she will walk the red carpet with Justin Timberlake. Considering how much time they have spent apart in the past few months though it is probably a crap shoot whether he turns up. Does he play a show that night? Jessica barely acts any longer because no one will give her a role because she is such an awful actress. Even when she was acting all of the time, her roles were small. Perhaps the Academy decided they would start having someone recap the Razzie Awards from the previous night and thought Jessica would be the perfect fit. The complete list of presenters is below.

  • Amy Adams

  • Kristen Bell

  • Jessica Biel
  • Jim Carrey

  • Glenn Close

  • Bradley Cooper

  • Penélope Cruz

  • Benedict Cumberbatch

  • Viola Davis

  • Daniel Day-Lewis

  • Robert De Niro

  • Zac Efron

  • Sally Field

  • Harrison Ford

  • Jamie Foxx

  • Andrew Garfield

  • Jennifer Garner

  • Whoopi Goldberg

  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt

  • Anne Hathaway

  • Goldie Hawn

  • Chris Hemsworth

  • Kate Hudson
  • Samuel L. Jackson

  • Angelina Jolie

  • Michael B. Jordan

  • Anna Kendrick

  • Jennifer Lawrence

  • Matthew McConaughey

  • Ewan McGregor

  • Bill Murray 

  • Kim Novak

  • Tyler Perry

  • Brad Pitt

  • Sidney Poitier

  • Gabourey Sidibe

  • Will Smith

  • Kevin Spacey

  • Jason Sudeikis

  • Channing Tatum

  • Charlize Theron

  • John Travolta

  • Christoph Waltz

  • Kerry Washington

  • Emma Watson

  • Naomi Watts


  1. Why Zac Efron,? Is he big in the movies? I hate stunt casting.

  2. Meh, I never watch it. There's usually a Law and Order rerun on that's more interesting. (Or Fraser).

  3. I thought Zac Efron was supposedly in rehab?

  4. I hate Jessica Biel too enty. I just do not get it. I don't even think she's attractive. Mary Camden was a whiny lil bitch.

  5. The same could be said for Kristen Stewart, yet they had her present 2 years in a row. After last year when she was a disaster they probably wont anymore.

  6. She had one hell of a management team to get her that gig

  7. Jessica, change out of that hid dress then we'll talk about shakin ya tits!

  8. Who's hosting?

    I never watch either. I'll hang for the red carpet, but the show itself is so boring and self-congratulatory, I'll wait until the next and just catch the clips. Though I might watch just to see Thor in a suit and hear Cumberbatch speak.

    I do agree Biel is boring (I thought there were rumours she's pregnant?), but it seems like she didn't renew her Random Photos contract so now she gets a snark post, too. Make it a win!

  9. My stars, I'm excited! It will be hard to contain it until Sunday...

  10. Biel.. presenting.. uff... must go buy some wine and hide the car

  11. Jeez look at the length of that list. Award shows = one long yawn whilst watching luvvies pay themselves on the back. Best to catch up on the winners in the paper the day after.

  12. Ellen Degeneres is hosting.

  13. You can just watch 7 minutes of clips the following day and know everything that happened during the four hours of the show.

    I'd rather spend that time watching old movies with people who could actually act instead of being famous for getting magazine covers.

  14. I'm hitting up the after parties to see the ladies shake ther tits.

  15. Maybe Jessica isn't the best actress in the history of cinema, maybe not even in the top 50,000,000, but she has a nice butt so I say let her present!

  16. I thought she was supposed to be pregnant. Is this like the big reveal?! At the Oscars?! Have we stooped that low?! In what universe will Jessica Biel ever even be nominated. Geez.

  17. I thought she was supposed to be pregnant. Is this like the big reveal?! At the Oscars?! Have we stooped that low?! In what universe will Jessica Biel ever even be nominated. Geez.

  18. Well and if or zacs in rehab he prolly did a 3 week out patience in Utah somewhere and he's better? Who knows tbh

  19. I hope Jessica trys to cut Meryl Streep in the bathroom line and she gets bitch slapped for it.

  20. M: Chris Hemsworth
    F: Channing Tatum
    K: John Travolta

  21. M: Chris Hemsworth
    F: Chris Hemsworth
    K: Chris Hemsworth so I can keep him forever

  22. I hope they put Goldie and Kim Novak together.

    Do you think they pay them all the same, pay them scale or their management negotiates a fee for each? Or do they do it for free? H'wd? Do you know?

  23. Oh damb VIP, now we're all going to play.

    M: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    F: Matthew McConaughey
    K: Chris Hemsworth

    1. Why the hell are killing Chris Hemsworth?! Hes hot as hell.

    2. @Kels- he's all yours. Something about him irritates me.

  24. Brody talked about her butt the whole time we watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I might watch the Oscars to see if Matthew McConaghey wins the Oscar. He should!

    1. I kept talking about her butt because that's where I hit it from! She used to be hot

  25. M: JGL
    F: Cumberbatch
    K: Travolta

  26. She is awful. And her face looks like a man.

  27. @VIP Lay off my beloved, be-wiggled lumpy seabeast.

  28. Oh Brody. She did have a nice caboose!

  29. M - Jennifer Lawrence
    F - Penélope Cruz
    K - Benedict Cumberbatch

  30. M: Whoopi
    F:Daniel Day Lewis
    K: Will Smith

  31. I guess I would:
    F: Brad Pitt if he had a ten year time machine
    M: Bill Murray
    K: Bradley Cooper

  32. Jessica says she doesn't get any roles because she is sooooo beautiful.

    M: Joseph Gordon Levit
    F: Ewan McGregor
    K: Jessica Biel

  33. What is up with her dress? She is literally wearing a giant vagina.

  34. So much for the pregnant rumor

    1. @MISCH unless she tries to hijack the Oscars with a Beyoncé-mic-drop reveal. She'd totally try.

  35. M. Matthew McConaughey (Sorry not sorry)
    F. John Travolta (In his time machine circa Urban Cowboy, again, Sorry not Sorry) :)
    K. Benedict Cumberwhatever

  36. F: Thor
    M: JGL
    K: Matthew M.
    Then fuck Thor again.

  37. M. Christopher Waltz
    F. Ewan McGregor (dat accent! Swoon!)
    K. Bradley Cooper

  38. Looking at that list, i have zero idea how these peeps are chosen. Esp biel! When is the last time she even made a movie?!

  39. Lurker for 4+ years, first time poster. Really hoping Ang is wasted again this year.

    F: Pitt
    M: Pitt
    K: Coop

  40. Two w/ Scientology ties (Travolta and Will Smith)? Apparently, the "Church" still has friends in Hollywood. I mean, when was Travolta relevant?

    Oh, and Tyler Perry?

  41. Clearly Michelle Pfieffer should have hired Biel's people to get that Oscar nom.

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  43. angie AND brad if they present together i die!

    hope for a good old goldie hawn moment, hopefully she had a drink

    and gabourneyyyyyy!!!! yes

  44. I bet AnnE will bring up her own win while she is presenting. She won't be able to resist.

    Why does Jennifer Garner always present awards, she is so boring.

    Most of these people haven't had a hit in years.

  45. I see Kim Novak, Sidney Poitier and a bunch of people I couldn't care less about.

  46. I might watch to see what Bill Murray does, especially if a tribute is done for Harold Ramus.

    1. @Henriette, agree that Bill is introducing a segment honoring Harold Ramis. His public statement was short but very meaningful. This will be tough for him, I suspect.

  47. Sidibe? Who's doing her dress, Omar? Gag me. She's an offense to the eyes.

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  49. A few names gave me pause other than Biel. In no specific order:
    Jennifer Garner
    Kristen Bell

    Sidney Poitier and Kim Novak are from another generation.

    Tyler Perry? His Madea movies make money so I guess that's why he's there.

    I don't really care though. I watch the red carpet on E! and turn to something else when the actual award show begins.

    I may be tempted to watch Access Hollywood's Red Carpet show where Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir will be working.

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