Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Jessica Biel Will Be A Presenter At The Academy Awards

It is probably right up there with Miley Cyrus presenting at the Academy Awards which she did in 2010. I bet you forgot about that didn't you? Lucky for everyone involved it was pre-twerking. Even though she is much more famous now than she was in 2010 I don't think the Academy would have her back now because they would be scared she would do something to upset the stuffy decorum of the telecast. The complete list of presenters was released yesterday and I don't have a problem with anyone except Jessica Biel. I'm not sure why they chose to include her unless they are hoping that she will walk the red carpet with Justin Timberlake. Considering how much time they have spent apart in the past few months though it is probably a crap shoot whether he turns up. Does he play a show that night? Jessica barely acts any longer because no one will give her a role because she is such an awful actress. Even when she was acting all of the time, her roles were small. Perhaps the Academy decided they would start having someone recap the Razzie Awards from the previous night and thought Jessica would be the perfect fit. The complete list of presenters is below.

  • Amy Adams

  • Kristen Bell

  • Jessica Biel
  • Jim Carrey

  • Glenn Close

  • Bradley Cooper

  • Penélope Cruz

  • Benedict Cumberbatch

  • Viola Davis

  • Daniel Day-Lewis

  • Robert De Niro

  • Zac Efron

  • Sally Field

  • Harrison Ford

  • Jamie Foxx

  • Andrew Garfield

  • Jennifer Garner

  • Whoopi Goldberg

  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt

  • Anne Hathaway

  • Goldie Hawn

  • Chris Hemsworth

  • Kate Hudson
  • Samuel L. Jackson

  • Angelina Jolie

  • Michael B. Jordan

  • Anna Kendrick

  • Jennifer Lawrence

  • Matthew McConaughey

  • Ewan McGregor

  • Bill Murray 

  • Kim Novak

  • Tyler Perry

  • Brad Pitt

  • Sidney Poitier

  • Gabourey Sidibe

  • Will Smith

  • Kevin Spacey

  • Jason Sudeikis

  • Channing Tatum

  • Charlize Theron

  • John Travolta

  • Christoph Waltz

  • Kerry Washington

  • Emma Watson

  • Naomi Watts


Glitter said...

Why Zac Efron,? Is he big in the movies? I hate stunt casting.

Cleodacat said...

Meh, I never watch it. There's usually a Law and Order rerun on that's more interesting. (Or Fraser).

LottaColada said...

I thought Zac Efron was supposedly in rehab?

Kels said...

I hate Jessica Biel too enty. I just do not get it. I don't even think she's attractive. Mary Camden was a whiny lil bitch.

Star said...

The same could be said for Kristen Stewart, yet they had her present 2 years in a row. After last year when she was a disaster they probably wont anymore.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

She had one hell of a management team to get her that gig

KhloeK said...

Jessica, change out of that hid dress then we'll talk about shakin ya tits!

Seven of Eleven said...

Who's hosting?

I never watch either. I'll hang for the red carpet, but the show itself is so boring and self-congratulatory, I'll wait until the next and just catch the clips. Though I might watch just to see Thor in a suit and hear Cumberbatch speak.

I do agree Biel is boring (I thought there were rumours she's pregnant?), but it seems like she didn't renew her Random Photos contract so now she gets a snark post, too. Make it a win!

di butler said...

My stars, I'm excited! It will be hard to contain it until Sunday...

laura ramona said...

Biel.. presenting.. uff... must go buy some wine and hide the car

Violet said...

Jeez look at the length of that list. Award shows = one long yawn whilst watching luvvies pay themselves on the back. Best to catch up on the winners in the paper the day after.

annanaannnaaaa said...

Ellen Degeneres is hosting.

Violet said...

Pay/pat whatever.

Bally said...

You can just watch 7 minutes of clips the following day and know everything that happened during the four hours of the show.

I'd rather spend that time watching old movies with people who could actually act instead of being famous for getting magazine covers.

Lord Disick said...

I'm hitting up the after parties to see the ladies shake ther tits.

Harry Knuckles said...

Maybe Jessica isn't the best actress in the history of cinema, maybe not even in the top 50,000,000, but she has a nice butt so I say let her present!

WritergirlinLa said...

I thought she was supposed to be pregnant. Is this like the big reveal?! At the Oscars?! Have we stooped that low?! In what universe will Jessica Biel ever even be nominated. Geez.

WritergirlinLa said...

I thought she was supposed to be pregnant. Is this like the big reveal?! At the Oscars?! Have we stooped that low?! In what universe will Jessica Biel ever even be nominated. Geez.

cubsfan1990 said...

Well and if or zacs in rehab he prolly did a 3 week out patience in Utah somewhere and he's better? Who knows tbh

timebob said...

I hope Jessica trys to cut Meryl Streep in the bathroom line and she gets bitch slapped for it.

VIPblonde said...

M: Chris Hemsworth
F: Channing Tatum
K: John Travolta

KhloeK said...

M: Chris Hemsworth
F: Chris Hemsworth
K: Chris Hemsworth so I can keep him forever

Sherry said...

I hope they put Goldie and Kim Novak together.

Do you think they pay them all the same, pay them scale or their management negotiates a fee for each? Or do they do it for free? H'wd? Do you know?

LottaColada said...

Oh damb VIP, now we're all going to play.

M: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
F: Matthew McConaughey
K: Chris Hemsworth

Bruce Jenner said...

Brody talked about her butt the whole time we watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I might watch the Oscars to see if Matthew McConaghey wins the Oscar. He should!

annanaannnaaaa said...

F: Cumberbatch
K: Travolta

Brody Jenner said...

I kept talking about her butt because that's where I hit it from! She used to be hot

Kels said...

Why the hell are killing Chris Hemsworth?! Hes hot as hell.

Renoblondee said...

She is awful. And her face looks like a man.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

@VIP Lay off my beloved, be-wiggled lumpy seabeast.

Bruce Jenner said...

Oh Brody. She did have a nice caboose!

Harry Knuckles said...

M - Jennifer Lawrence
F - Penélope Cruz
K - Benedict Cumberbatch

Derek Harvey said...

M: Whoopi
F:Daniel Day Lewis
K: Will Smith

LottaColada said...

@Kels- he's all yours. Something about him irritates me.

katydid said...

I guess I would:
F: Brad Pitt if he had a ten year time machine
M: Bill Murray
K: Bradley Cooper

Seven of Eleven said...


Sugar said...

Jessica says she doesn't get any roles because she is sooooo beautiful.

M: Joseph Gordon Levit
F: Ewan McGregor
K: Jessica Biel

Rob Kardashian said...

HI Bruce!

Naomi said...


Bruce Jenner said...

Hi Rob!

Lady Heisenberg said...

What is up with her dress? She is literally wearing a giant vagina.

MISCH said...

So much for the pregnant rumor

Danielle said...

M. Matthew McConaughey (Sorry not sorry)
F. John Travolta (In his time machine circa Urban Cowboy, again, Sorry not Sorry) :)
K. Benedict Cumberwhatever

LowKey said...

@KhloeK, +1

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

@MISCH unless she tries to hijack the Oscars with a Beyoncé-mic-drop reveal. She'd totally try.

LowKey said...

F: Thor
K: Matthew M.
Then fuck Thor again.

BeckyMae said...

M. Christopher Waltz
F. Ewan McGregor (dat accent! Swoon!)
K. Bradley Cooper

auntliddy said...

Looking at that list, i have zero idea how these peeps are chosen. Esp biel! When is the last time she even made a movie?!

MovingOn said...

Lurker for 4+ years, first time poster. Really hoping Ang is wasted again this year.

F: Pitt
M: Pitt
K: Coop

KevinA said...

Two w/ Scientology ties (Travolta and Will Smith)? Apparently, the "Church" still has friends in Hollywood. I mean, when was Travolta relevant?

Oh, and Tyler Perry?

Tina Mallette said...

Clearly Michelle Pfieffer should have hired Biel's people to get that Oscar nom.

Marina Francisco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Derek Harvey said...

marry fuck kill

nurysp said...

angie AND brad if they present together i die!

hope for a good old goldie hawn moment, hopefully she had a drink

and gabourneyyyyyy!!!! yes

Krissie said...

I bet AnnE will bring up her own win while she is presenting. She won't be able to resist.

Why does Jennifer Garner always present awards, she is so boring.

Most of these people haven't had a hit in years.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Hey MovingOn!

Anonymous said...

I see Kim Novak, Sidney Poitier and a bunch of people I couldn't care less about.

TalksTooMuch said...

Yay hey MovingOn!

Henriette said...

I might watch to see what Bill Murray does, especially if a tribute is done for Harold Ramus.

Red said...

Sidibe? Who's doing her dress, Omar? Gag me. She's an offense to the eyes.

Marina Francisco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aoife said...

A few names gave me pause other than Biel. In no specific order:
Jennifer Garner
Kristen Bell

Sidney Poitier and Kim Novak are from another generation.

Tyler Perry? His Madea movies make money so I guess that's why he's there.

I don't really care though. I watch the red carpet on E! and turn to something else when the actual award show begins.

I may be tempted to watch Access Hollywood's Red Carpet show where Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir will be working.

iknowpeople said...

@Henriette, agree that Bill is introducing a segment honoring Harold Ramis. His public statement was short but very meaningful. This will be tough for him, I suspect.

Marina Francisco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
IWish said...



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