Thursday, June 19, 2014

Justin Bieber Got Two Women Pregnant

There are at least two women out in the world who decided they wanted to have unprotected sex with Justin Bieber and according to In Touch, they both got pregnant. The article in this week;s issue doesn't say whether the women went through to term with their pregnancies. The article says the pregnancies were dealt with. If that means abortion, that would seem to be the polar opposite of what Justin has espoused publicly about his religious beliefs and those of the pastor who baptizes him on what seems a fairly regular basis. After determining the relationships and pregnancies were legitimate, the article says that both women were given a lump sum of money and cut off from Justin forever. It is interesting to note that the cover of In Touch is dominated by Jennifer Aniston announcing she is going to raise her baby alone. Yeah, that is the third time this month some tabloid had nothing to give their readers but another Jen is pregnant story.

44 comments:

Violet said...

Phew. Thanks Enty. The world is back to normal.

TalksTooMuch said...

Buuut, I thought you couldn't GET pregnant from the oral? Isn't that all he does? NOT knocking, btw

BeckyMae said...

All is right with the world Violet, balance is restored....phew!

sandybrook said...

I think this website and the Editorial Directors of it are the only place/people in the world who consider In Touch to be credible and reliable for accurate, truthful reporting.

B626 said...

Slooow news day

FrenchGirl said...

My idea is that Jennifer annister will raise her kid alone because she's one of the pregnant woman by Justin Bieber!!!!

Ari said...

gross

AJ said...

I wonder if all the fake pregnancies articles make JA depressed ?

Its just U said...

I want to have an opinion but I just can't be arsed.

Alita said...

I think is one of those times where punctuation makes all the difference. Maybe emoticons too, for inflection.

Tu wit:
From the cover -
"He got two women pregnant"

Vs

"He got two women pregnant?"

Or

"He got two 'women' pregnant ;)"

Or

"*he* got two women pregnant???? o_o"

Punctuation people, it has a purpose.

Hammer_Girl said...

That's a burrito baby Jen's carrying, compliments of Taco Bell.

Alita said...

Don't know AJ, but they sure help make her money to soften the blow.

FrenchGirl said...

The other woman is jennifer garner obviously

Sunshine said...

I'm kinda interested in the article "Here comes the drunken bride." Is that you Jessica?

Jessica Larson said...

This must be a slow news day, if Enty is relying on InTouch.

In the past Enty has posted that Justin only seems to watch or do oral.

Henriette said...

Maybe JA got the Justins mixed up.

auntliddy said...

Jesus christ, stop fake implanting babies in jennifer aniston's womb!!!!!!

Sherry said...

FrenchGirl, it almost looked liked that's what Enty was implying at first.

Shelly Shell said...

I personally think Jen has a basement full of kids at this point.

Henriette said...

JA should have a basketball team by now with all her alleged pregnancies.

sugarbread maker said...

Jennifer Aniston has a collection of cabbage patch kids that all look like Brad and Angie

crila16 said...

What? Jen Aniston got pregnant by Justin Beiber? Gross.

audrey said...

It's incredible that with all the other fake stories on this cover, Enty chose to believe and write about Justin Bieber and try to spin a tale of bribery and pay offs. I will believe this story when all the others prove to be true--especially the pregnant Jen one.

TalksTooMuch said...

I have a feeling he Eats, Shoots AND Leaves, Alita

Renoblondee said...

Stupid.

Eros said...

Wow Jen looks really really pregnant in that picture. If it wasn't in touch, I'd suggest photoshop was used in the pic.

Tongue N. Cheek said...

"He got two. Women:pregnant"

Tongue N. Cheek said...

Love that book, TTM! Though you wouldn't know it from my abysmal lack of punctuation in postings....

ItsCourtneyD said...

@talkstoomuch as my boyfriend fondly says "Courtney you can't get pregnant in the butt." I haven't tried that out to see if it's true or not.

TalksTooMuch said...

Or the mouth! But it was just Father's Day and errythang, Court!

ItsCourtneyD said...

True. Maybe things were allowed in lieu of monetary gifts.

Its just U said...

@TTM and CourtneyD
Up the Bum, no harm done. As the saying goes.

Molls said...

Hasn't Jennifer Aniston been pregnant about a thousand times now? What has she done with all those babies? You'd think people would stop believing these magazines after all this crap.

Zach said...

Bieber procreating is surely the greatest argument for abortion.

PJ said...

I totally believe it. Biebs definitely seems like the super twisted type of guy whose ego is so big he is all about the risk and potential to spread his seed that unprotected sex would bring. We already know that this douche believes he is invincible so is the idea that he is reckless and hypocritical enough to be "too religious" to believe in abortion or contraception but not so religious that he can engage in pre-marital sex with multiple partners all that much of a leap? And God knows most of his groupies would JUMP at the chance to sleep with and get pregnant by him. No way Biebs co-signed any abortions. Seems much more likely the lump sums were to keep them quiet and support the kids for 18+ years. Anyone remember the first girl Mariah Yeater?? (I think that was her name anyway.) Exactly. Biebs made sure that she and her son disappeared as quickly as they showed up.

PugsterMom said...

When Jen is 70, will the headlines read: "IT'S A MIRACLE! PREGNANT JEN SAYS HER DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE!"

Tartan Princess said...

Bwaaahaaa...first time I heard that was on an episode of The Office,just aboot burst me shite laughing..

TalksTooMuch said...

I punctuate like I shoot pool, TNC, by fluke and left handedly

ItsCourtneyD said...

Bahahahahaha! I love it! @itsjustu I'll have to share that with Mr. Policeman. He will love it! And probably start saying it.

Krissie said...

I miss old tabloids. Used to be really fun dirt about A-listers. Nowadays it's all reality TV stories and five million billion stories about celebrities and their babies/kids…and "Jennifer Aniston is pregnant" stories of course.

MadLyb said...

So Enty is going to run with a story from "In Touch"? He/she really is on a bender today.

Northbynorthwest said...

Serious despite being InTouch it's not like this is that far-fetched. (Not to mention St. Justin goes crying church boy every time he's linked to scandal, like the N word videos, get baptized, and what do you know this hits newsstands and he runs off to bible-study class out of the blue too)

Cheryl said...

Isn't InTouch just recycling a Bieber story already out there? I know I've heard it before with the implication that his people often have to handle this situation with piles of cash.

cowbulls said...

1. So did we find out the truth about the Bieber-Lima night?
2. Surely if Bieber wants Aniston, he either already has nailed her or he will soon. JA gives it up easy and often.
3. As for JA having a baby, it would be an easy birth. She has one of if not the most lubed up canal of any celebrity in history. For the sake of the baby, it will need to be instantly bathed.