Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Kevin Hart Doesn't Like Roller Coasters

33 comments:

sandybrook said...

Tl:dw

Riven said...

DC;DW

TalksTooMuch said...

But I love Kevin Hart! Nickel! I'll watch!

TalksTooMuch said...

I'm at the park with hooligans though, gimme a minute

Brian said...

Probably because he is so short and is afraid of slipping out of the restraints?

Tongue N. Cheek said...

Neither Does Tongue N. Cheek.

Cocoa said...
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Sugar said...

Darn, cheater Brian beat me to the joke....

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Kevin Hart is afraid of roller coasters so of course the Botulated Badger who has taken residence in Jimmy Fallon's face takes him to the RipRideRocket (also what most of the Toronto calls Derek's penis, but that's another story).

The Badger unhooks Kevin Hart from his baby bjorn for the obligatory "too short for this ride"-joke (see what I did there ?)

Lots of straight guy screaming ensues.

None of this roller coaster scene looks like:

Mimi's Fantasy video
Laura Jean Poon digit flick scene from Fear or,
The opening credits to Step-by-Step.

sandybrook said...

I hate Orlando! :(

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Sorry TTM! I just assumed I'd get stuck with it so submitted my review.

I would like to read your interpretation of what sorcery is being done to jimmy Fallon's face!

Cocoa said...
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Lady Heisenberg said...

Haven't done a review in a while. This riveting sociological documentary underscores the persisting social inequalities that lie at the intersection of gender, race, and body type. We are introduced to Kevin, a black male comedian who struggles to perform masculinity as competently as his friend, Jimmy. From the start, viewers are shown that Jimmy is superior because he is tall, white, and doesn't act like a little "bitch" over a stupid roller coaster ride. However, we later learn that Kevin DOES have much better teeth. His dentist much be so proud.

Anywho, we are also taught that in under 5 minutes, Kevin experienced both social (bullying) and structural (height minimums) discriminatory injustices. I felt really bad for Kevin, and felt a sense of unadulterated joy when he was allowed to sit at the front of the roller coaster. Finally, I learned that I would also really like to join them. Why wasn't I invited? The End.

Paint Chips said...

Hate roller coasters, love Kevin Hart. My daughter worked with him once and she had nothing but good things to say about him.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

I vote Stephen Hawking here to write all reviews.

I could only wonder if Fallon's head is full of vanilla custard. I'm too dumb for these.

sandybrook said...

I dont wanna use a thesaurus to read gossip blocs :(

sandybrook said...

And neither does my spelchek POS *blogs *

TalksTooMuch said...

Then you should probably stay out of The Situation post this morning, sandy, it got a lot wordy up in there...

Lady Heisenberg said...

That was beautiful

But now I want to see Mr Mayhew wearing Kevin in a baby bjorn and doing the riverdance

Lady Heisenberg said...

So THAT'S why I wasn't invited :(

TalksTooMuch said...

Sorry,Wigs, I shouldn't have called it when I couldn't watch it right away! All I can add is that Fallon looks like he is either peeing or having an orgasm throughout and I'm pretty sure Kevin Hart cried the whole time.

Sherry said...

I adore roller coasters. I would ride them all day long as long as they don't go upside down a lot.

Lady H's review made me want to watch this.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

THANKS, SHERRY!

*slams door and slides down wall*

TalksTooMuch said...

Also? Kevin Hart is either extremely muscular or wears teeny tiny shirts. Or some combination of the two

Sherry said...

Oh Wigs! I love your reviews as well! I wasn't familiar with the Botulated Badger part. (Although the joke about Derek was goooood!)

Cocoa said...
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califblondy said...

This video was funny.

Kristin (Wiglet) said...

Totally teasing, Sherry :)

sandybrook said...

Tomorrow single syllable words in the review!

TalksTooMuch said...

Like:

Good!

Bad!

Fun

Ny!

Lady Heisenberg said...

Tl;dr ;)

Alita said...

They're both funny in different ways. The hyperbolic tangents you both take aside, there is a distinct difference in the imagery detailed so lovingly.

In conclusion, this video past was a crackling read. For stars (there is always room for improvement!*).

* that is one of the most annoying things a marker can say when you have created gold, so I did it for my Lady H, since she marks papers and stuff. Sorry Wigs, you would have got 4.5 otherwise.

Alita said...

Van Dammit!

FOUR stars, not For stars.