Friday, July 11, 2014

Your Turn

Do you have a life event that you refer to as "before" and "after," even if only to yourself?

87 comments:

trainrides said...

Yes. BC is before CDAN.

sandybrook said...

My almost entire life and careers before moving to Florida and my totally different life after moving to Florida.

Eros said...

Im a Christian. So the answer to that question would be yes, Ents. ;)

MeanieRhysie said...

Ha!

Tricia Shaw said...

BBAM...before becoming a mommy

MeanieRhysie said...

Life before and after chronic illness. Don't take for granted that you'll always be able to do the things you've always done. It can be taken away in a heartbeat.

PghGirl said...

Before rape

trainrides said...

Hollywood was like this before CDAN and then this after CDAN.

Sugar said...

Shit, so sorry PghGirl.

Sugar said...

Yep. I sure do.

MeanieRhysie said...

Love and light to you, PghGirl.

AJ said...

Before Crohns

Zilla3 said...

Yes, before I was almost killed in a terrorist fuel truck bombing, and after.

Glitter said...

Yes. Retiring from teaching.

Violet said...

Lots of life events. Lots of befores and afters. Some good. Some not so good. All leading me to where i am now which is quite content thanks. (philosophical)

RivenIsAHasBeen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Count Jerkula said...

Yes, when my kid was born.

SusanB said...

@sandybrook - the EXACT same sentence applies to me! Before and after the move to Florida!

MeanieRhysie said...

:( I'm sorry, Riven. Love and light.

Love and light to all you abuse survivors. We survived. :)

Ray Nicolet said...

Much love to you PghGirl.

Brian said...

I had a night like Farmer Ted in "Sixteen Candles" when I was in high school. My life was never the same after...

Renoblondee said...

Yes.

RivenIsAHasBeen said...

@Meanie thanks so much. :) Love back atcha. I decided to just make it simple:

Before, during and after molestation.

Everything in my life including my brother'a death can be traced back to those years.

Total singing "I Will Survive," not gonna lie lol!

witwritergirl said...

Sending good thoughts to you.

sandybrook said...

Christ, rape and molestation sorry for both of you.
Susan dont know where you moved from to Florida but it doesn't matter Florida is different by a lot.

witwritergirl said...

Yes. It broke me to my core.

BeckyMae said...

Yep, before my father exposed my mothers molestation by her own father as a way to get back at everyone....it wasn't his story to tell but he did anyway and it changed how I viewed my own family forever....

James said...

Yes, before my foreign ex-marriage. Now consider myself a shell shocked Veteran of Foreign Love.

Sherry said...

Hugs to those who measure by tragic events rather than joyous events.

BeckyMae said...

But I forgave him....I want to be clear abot that because it opened up the most wonderful, open dialogue between myself and my mother and for thati am eternally grateful...

AKM said...

A couple of events, yes. Childhood in one state and childhood/adulthood in the current one. Before a certain ex and after. Before a diagnosis and after.

MeanieRhysie said...

Your before and afters gutted me...for a second, no lie.

But yeah, "I Will Survive" is an anthem of mine, too. I'm not even playing it and I'm doing the shoulder dance, LOL!

penelope jane said...

PghGirl, my heart goes out to you.

BC / AD : before my sister's cancer and after her death. I don't remember much of the befores of my life.

PghGirl said...

Thanks guys. Xo

PghGirl said...

Oh I'm so sorry. My son is borderline crohns. Sending love and hugs.

PghGirl said...

So sorry Riven

hkpavco said...

Before and after I got sober....coming up on 5 years :)

hkpavco said...
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RivenIsAHasBeen said...

@Pgh same love to you and all survivors.

cece said...

Good for you! :)

Frufra said...

Our big turning point as a couple was the birth of our second child - born unexpectedly gravely ill, given <5% chance of living. He lived, survives, and thrives, and our marriage was ultimately stronger for the test. Like we were forged in fire. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy, having an ill child, and I can only begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a child. But we were ultimately blessed by the experience. (And I NEVER say "blessed" - you know I mean it!)

SusanB said...

@sandybrook. from Atlanta to west palm beach. Like different countries!

boni chak said...

Before and after.....my sons murder.

clearly4you said...

@sandybrook - Me too!

bored soccer mom said...

Same here AJ. Before and after my ileostomy. But thy can also be framed as before I was deathly ill and no quality of
Life, and after. Feel good! Crohns blows!

laesmralda said...

Before my little girl was born with a genetic disorder and heart defect and after. :(

Dena said...

Same here : )

Dena said...

(((CDaNers)))

MeanieRhysie said...

@hlpavco, good for you!! Keep on keeping on, sobriety is wonderful!

texas rose said...

Sounds like we have some real survivors here at CDAN- stay strong!

Violet said...

Fru - V jr 3 was an extreme prem. Every. Single. Day I am reminded when I look at her just how blessed we are. A truly horrible but ultimately life affirming experience. So glad to hear Fru jr is doing so well now.

teresa crane said...

You all are tough, way to survive and thrive!!

NaughtyNurse said...

9/11

auntliddy said...

Pgh, seconding the love to you:)

AJ said...

Hugs to your son Phgirl.
Thanks Bored Soccer Mom. Knock on wood, no surgeries yet but I came very very close last year. Such as scary thing.
Good luck to you. Feel good too !

AJ said...

So sorry PGHGirl.
Biggest hugs to you !

AJ said...

Hugs Riven.
I was molested too. It's something that never leaves you.

auntliddy said...

Mine is before my mother died and afterwards. I was 42, and the worst thing that had happened to me before that was mcgovern not getting elected president, so you can see i had led a pretty happy life. Her being ill and dying of melanoma( i mention only to spur naysayers to use sunscreen)- disrupted my life hugely. Hugely. And it wasnt like she didnt drive me nuts or she sat around knitting me sweaters. She was a real person with faults and wonderful qualities. After she passed, everything became different and people said I did too. I no longer enjoyed the holidays for one thing. I mean, i go thru the motions, but id be happy to go to bed dec24 and wake up Dec26. And I hate that thats so. Anyway, thats mine.

auntliddy said...

Just rereading above, and i second the ((()))) hugs for my fellow cdaners problems. You guys ARE survivors in best possible way.

Sillygurl said...

Hugs, Me too :(

AJ said...

AuntLiddy
I lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago when I was 28.
I've had my share of heartbreak along with trials & tribulations but watching & caring for my dying mother changed me too.

I've survived being molested and live with crohns everyday but losing my biggest supporter just broke me. I'll never be the same but I know it's all made me stronger.

The day of my moms funeral, my father told me it's ok to grieve but don't stop living your life because she's gone. She'd want you to be happy in life.

AuntLiddy I know it's so very hard but remember that. I have my bad days too but I think she'd want me to be happy and I deserve to smile.

Hugs to you. I know it's a hole that never gets filled.

Ginger said...

Yes, before my near death experience (my blood want septic) that resulted in me requiring the replacement of my mitral valve. Very healthy prior to that and took a while for me to recover. Now must take anticoagulants for the rest of my life. Grateful to still be with the living!!

Ginger said...

Went

__-__=__ said...

After WORK!!! That is ovah forevah! Never ever again will i have to deal with that level of corruption, incompetence and outright crazy. That last stint really put me over the edge. But I bought my freedom and they can suck it now!

Congrats to all the CDAN survivors!!

cocopuff said...

Before and after the rape. Needless to say, before was a much happier time! :(

Ginger said...

So sorry. Sending positive thoughts your way!

Ginger said...

For all rape/molestation survivors.

MovingOn said...

I'm so sorry. I have a young son and can't even allow myself to imagine this.

BitchieMitchie said...

That was the first thing that came to mind too--it took me in my 40's. I had always had it, but didn't feel it until then. It's crazy the difference from one year to the next.

Del Riser said...

Yes, several, mom's suicide when I was eight...everything changed.
Widowed at age 20, with a four month old daughter. I had to learn a lot in a big hurry.
Now married 26 years to the most wonderful man ever, happy healthy, smart daughter, it's all good.

Cee Kay said...

Not exactly, but...first marriage, second marriage. I met my new hubby before the divorce was final, so there wasn't a big gap in between there. *L*

NomNom83 said...

*hugs*

NomNom83 said...

^5!

astra worthington said...

James, what happened in your foreign marriage?

Renoblondee said...

@CeeKay. Me too.

audrey said...

My life has been sectioned into before I became a parent, after the first born---but before the second one came along 16 years later--after the second birth to her leaving home--to my freedom. All of those sections have had their ups and downs, good times, and bad--but ultimately I am here where I am supposed to be.

Kloie said...

Same here, Rhysie. My illness changed everything.

Snootches said...

I've spoken about my exrience with date rape/ molestation before. It is why I won't let my son be alone with anyone. You never know. There are too many victims out there too afraid to say anything. I figured it would be more painful if I came forward about my rape. Having to tell the story over and over, ultimately to people who may not believe me wasn't really worth the pain. I chose not to tell, just like countless others.
My life REALLY changed dramatically when my father's secret double life was exposed and all went very public in a big way. I fell into a hole and it took me most of my 20s to dig out.

Alita said...

Sigh - I think this question was always going to be one that brought sad responses, as well as some lovely ones. Good thoughts and Internet hugs to the people dealing with terrible things.

Maybe it's too my detriment, but I tend to try and just leave the not good things in my wake - not think about them. Happy things, those I try to keep. It's all a tapestry though.

kit said...

pre-bariatric surgery, post-bariatric surgery. got really sick afterwards (down nearly 160lbs), then got better and stabled weight.

no more diabetes, down 100lbs, generally healthier.

Interplanet Janet said...

((((((((((((((Boni Chak)))))))))))))))
No words...

SO much love to you, Boni Chak, and to all of you CDANers.

I have 2. My husband had a nervous breakdown and left me for someone else right around 9/11. Blew up my life completely. So that was a double whammy/nightmare. But thankfully, he came back, we rebuilt it better than it was before (better, stronger, faster...), and next week, we celebrate our 20 year anniversary. Number 2, my mother overdosed and died at age 67 in 2009. It ended a tragic, and painful life. In a way, I feel that God was showing her great mercy by letting her come home. For me,I am grateful that she is no longer in pain, but I still grieve. So many prayers for her to get well and be happy in this life that were never realized. When I am done here, it will be so wonderful to see her again, to see her free from the bondage of this life. She and I can then have the relationship that was not possible here. But it will be a while. I intend to get very old with my husband.

Seachica said...

Before and after I met my husband. I had a full, long single life. Now I have a full, happy married life in a different city with my love

C'estMoi said...

Wow! So many stories! My heart goes out to
PghGirl
RivenIsAHasBeen
Becky Mae
AKM
penelope jane
boni chak
laesmralda
AJ
cocopuff
Aunt Liddy
Del Riser
Snootches
Interplanet Janet

And a big Congratulations to:
hkpavko
Frufra
Violet
Ginger
kit
Seachica

I have two before/afters:
Before I met my husband
Before my son was born

Cheers!

PotPourri said...

Before Autism (my son's autism)

PotPourri said...

Before Autism (my son's autism)

laesmralda said...

Thank you

Horseloving Gal said...

Before and after the suicide of my best friend. That also corresponded with turning 25 and my frontal lobe becoming fully developed. It was seriously like a switch flipped for me.